Funny Pickup Lines: Best pick-up lines ever

Funny Pickup Line Song!!

Cute, Stupid, Dumb and Funny Pickup Lines: Best really funny pick up lines. Here is a collection of some of the best cheesy, funny, stupid, bad and sweet pickup lines.

Here is a collection of dumb and funny and cheesy and bad pickup lines and chat up lines. Remember, InnocentEnglish.com can’t be held responsible for any drinks thrown in your face when you try to use some of these. Funny pickup lines aren’t always the ones that give you the desired result! If you do use any, good luck! And please add your own Funny Pickup Lines and Chat Up Lines at the bottom. But take a minute to see if someone else already posted it…

Here they are: Some good pickup lines: (and we use the word “good” pretty loosely here…)

 

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!

Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!

I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?

Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?

I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.

You know what would look great on you? Me.

Can I read your T shirt in brail?

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.

Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.

Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night!

Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?

I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.

All those curves! And me with no brakes!

Can I even get a fake number?

You’ll do.

And more funny pick up lines:

Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass.

You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!

Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.

I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

If you were Sprite, I’d obey my thirst!

Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love.

I lost my number, can I have yours?

Let’s make like fabric softner and snuggle

Do you like bananas or blueberries? Why? I wanna know what kind of pancackes to make in the morning.

Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m not a poet, but damn girl, you’re hot!

Hi there. Inheriting 50 million dollars doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Page topic: Some of the best and worst pickup lines: Good, bad, cheesy and sweet pick up lines and chat up lines for picking up a girl or guy at a bar…

1,261 thoughts on “Funny Pickup Lines: Best pick-up lines ever”

  1. I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access

    Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

    If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can just sleep until the afternoon

    I’m like chocolate pudding. I look like crap but I’m as sweet as can be

    Love is a sensation caused by a temptation to feel the penetration when a guy sticks his location in the girls destination to increase the population to the next generation. Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?

  2. GUY:Hey sweets did you know the book of revelations had only 4 great words in it? Girl:No..really? Guy: Yes ” You, Me Together Forever”.

  3. guy:do you have a keg in your pants?
    girl:no
    guy:really, ’cause i’d like to tap that.
    :) &&
    guy:my magic watch says you don’t have any pants on.
    girl:yes i do.
    guy:danngg must be fifteen minutes fast.
    :)
    haha,

  4. It’s a good think your not carrying around a can of propane because the sparkle in your eye might set it off.

  5. People should do a CTRL+F and search a word or 2 from their line because the same ones appeared over and over which was a shame =\ and some people should proof read their comments because the english was bad.

    Most of these were good, made me laugh at least, lol but I doubt they’ll work unless you’re just having a laugh.

    the one about the bunny (#559) was probably the best.

  6. so…not to be hating
    but i think people need to read some of these
    before they put their own
    because there are so many repeats
    it’s making me crazy!

  7. guy- Hey I tryed calling you last night
    isn’t ur number 6926435

    girl-what makes you think thats my number?

    guy-Cause it spells out myangel

  8. Walk up to a girl and ask her to dance, if she says no, you say, “You misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants!”

  9. how are you pulling off that style… that outfit looks great on you … but… it would look better on my floor ;)

  10. u guys need to lern how to talk to wemen and then u goy saying these dumb ones and u wonder yy they don’t like u

  11. These are great for a laugh and all, but seriously, guys, if you want to meet a good woman, just be nice and try some normal conversation.

  12. Hey baby, I noticed you noticin’ me, so I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

  13. baby if ever you and i break up ill help you move on. just go to google go to the search box and type ”tips on how to move on” goodluck:))

  14. May 16th, 2009 at 12:21 am

    START BY LOOKING AT LOOK AT YOUR WATCH
    Women; are you late for a date
    Man; no my watch has this new feature where talks to me
    Woman; really what is it saying
    Man; well its telling me your not wearing any panties
    Women; well your watch is wrong
    Man; yeah, your right dang watch must be an hour fast

  15. Guy: If i could rearange the alphabet i wud put u and i together

    Girl: i like it the way it is with n and o together

  16. Wanna make millions?

    [Sure.]

    Millions of Babies!
    ——————–
    I’m going outside to make out.
    Care to join me?
    ——————–
    haha funny stuff.

  17. Giant Polar Bear!
    [What?]
    Oh, it’s just an icebreaker.
    Hi, my name is..
    —————-
    [Change name according to gender]
    Eric! Wow! How’ve you been. [Give big hug]
    Wow! I haven’t seen you in forever!
    [Give big kiss]
    You’ve changed so much!
    Them: I’m not Eric..
    You changed your name too!?

  18. Are you a theif? cause u just stole my heart!

    >>INsert name here<< (NATTY!) thts the name i will be screaming later on ;)

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