Funny Pickup Lines: Best pick-up lines ever

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Funny Pickup Line Song!!

Cute, Stupid, Dumb and Funny Pickup Lines: Best really funny pick up lines. Here is a collection of some of the best cheesy, funny, stupid, bad and sweet pickup lines.

Here is a collection of dumb and funny and cheesy and bad pickup lines and chat up lines. Remember, InnocentEnglish.com can’t be held responsible for any drinks thrown in your face when you try to use some of these. Funny pickup lines aren’t always the ones that give you the desired result! If you do use any, good luck! And please add your own Funny Pickup Lines and Chat Up Lines at the bottom. But take a minute to see if someone else already posted it…

Here they are: Some good pickup lines: (and we use the word “good” pretty loosely here…)

 

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!

Is your dad a thief or something? Because someone stole the stars and put them into your eyes!

I’ve heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?

Excuse me, but I’m new in town, can I have directions to your place?

Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?

I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

I wish I were a tear so i could start in your eyes, live on your face, and die on your lips.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Am I cute enough yet? Or do you need more to drink?

You must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.

You know what would look great on you? Me.

Can I read your T shirt in brail?

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.

I think I need to call heaven because they’ve lost one of their angels.

Is your name Gillette? Because you’re the best a man can get!

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

The body is made up of 90% water and I’m thirsty.

Baby you must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night!

Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice- can I get your number?

I have Skittles in my mouth, wanna taste the rainbow?

That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

You know, winning the lottery doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together.

What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called McGorgeous.

All those curves! And me with no brakes!

Can I even get a fake number?

You’ll do.

And more funny pick up lines:

Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much ass.

You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!

Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.

I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

Damn, I’m glad I’m not blind!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?

You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?

If you were Sprite, I’d obey my thirst!

Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to giver her a call the first time I fell in love.

I lost my number, can I have yours?

Let’s make like fabric softner and snuggle

Do you like bananas or blueberries? Why? I wanna know what kind of pancackes to make in the morning.

Hey baby. Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m not a poet, but damn girl, you’re hot!

Hi there. Inheriting 50 million dollars doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

Page topic: Some of the best and worst pickup lines: Good, bad, cheesy and sweet pick up lines and chat up lines for picking up a girl or guy at a bar…

1,261 thoughts on “Funny Pickup Lines: Best pick-up lines ever”

  1. (Guy) Hey you wanna dance…
    (Girl) NO!
    (Guy) Oh I’m sorry, you must have miss understood me. I said you look fat in those pants…

    I want you to have my children. In fact, you can have them right now. They’re out in the car.

    This isn’t a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for a love machine.

    Can I buy you a drink? I promise it will make me look better.

    Can I lick that film off your teeth?

    Love is like peeing on yourself: Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it.

    Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together…
    Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put F and U together. But for now I’d rather leave it as it is with N and O together… Get it? Now leave before I rearrange your face…

    My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on. (She says: “Yes I do!”). Oh damn, it must be 15 minutes fast.

  4. Hey, i don’t believe we have met before. My name is Spongebob and I want to live in your Bikini Bottom.

  11. A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, but a kiss ain’t a kiss without some tongue. So open your mouth and close your eyes and give your tongue some excersize. ;) Worked on me. haha

  13. is yo daddy a mechanic cus u got the most finely tunned body ive ever seen!!!!!

    ur cute, im cute, together were 2cute

    bab, u so sweet u would put hersheys out of buisness!!!!!

    unless u have a twin sister u r the most beautiful woman on da plannet

    hey, come over and we can play pool together, ill bring the balls if u bring the rack!!!!!

    were u arrested earlier cus its got to be illegal to look that good!!!!!

    that shirt looks good on u but i think it would look better on my floor!!!!!!

    there must b something wrong with my eyes cus i cant take them off u!!!!!

    ill cook u dinner if u cook me breakfast

    theres something wrong with my phone… it doesnt hav ur # in it!!!!!!

    is ur daddy a baker cus ur a cuttie pie!!!!!

    your lips look so lonely, would they like to meet mine!!!!!

  26. Can I borrow your phone please? (Why?) I need to phone God and tell him I have found his missing angel.

    Baby, you turn my floppy disc into a hard drive. (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!)

    Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

    Do want any raisins? How about a date?

    I am _________ and YOU must be the reason for global warming!

    Excuse me! I don’t mean to embarrass you but you have something down your top (Do I? What?) My eyes!

    Yess some of them are a bit yucky but y’know :)

  33. Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together~

    Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put ‘F’ and ‘U’ together. But since I can’t I’ll just leave it as it is with ‘N’ and ‘O’ together.

  34. Lol i used “Should i smile cause your my friend? or should I cry cause I know that’s all you’ll ever be?”
    on one of my best friends, she replied with
    “cry bitch cry…” fail.

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