Engineers were the best people to party with back in college. No, no, don’t laugh, it is true! After being cooped up for days and weeks on end, when they finally got a night off my engineer friends always went wild. You see, they had to pack days and weeks’ worth of merriment into one night. They were like springs wound too tight, ready to be released. Yup, they were fun loving people… which is why I hope they won’t kill me for posting a list of jokes about them!
Psychology and Engineers
A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started through the test.
“How does this glass of water look to you?â€
Person 1: It is half empty.
Student writes ‘pessimist’ in his report.
Person 2 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?â€
Person 2: It is half full.
Student writes ‘optimist’ in his report.
Person 3 enters the room. “How does this glass of water look to you?â€
Person 3: Looks like you have twice as much glass as you need there.
The student looks totally blank and goes to consult with the professor.
“Oh them!â€, the professor says, “I forgot to warn you about the engineers! They have no personality.â€
Engineer at a Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The Engineer said, “In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit’s package.”
The HR Person said, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Corvette?”
The Engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! Are you kidding?”
And the HR Person said, “Certainly, …but you started it.”
An Engineer goes Golfing
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
Engineer: What’s with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!
Doctor: I don’t know but I’ve never seen such ineptitude!
Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let’s have a word with him.
Priest: Hi George. Say George, what’s with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow aren’t they?
wP>George: Oh yes. That’s a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight hile saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!
(silence)
Priest: That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.
Doctor: Good idea. And I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there’s anything he can do for them.
Engineer: Why can’t these guys play at night?
Engineers and the Human Body
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”
An Engineer deciding between a Wife and Mistress
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done.”
page topic: Jokes about Engineers