Funny dating jokes, sex jokes and romance jokes. (Pretty clean, but funny).

Funny jokes about dating, romance and sex.  Here are some jokes about sex, dating, romance and relationships. The pharmacist joke and “Chaka and his Boss” are great…

Chaka and his Boss 

Chaka got hired by an American dictionary company to help them with their new dictionary for his language.  They had a tight deadline and he was working really long hours.  He was feeling more and more run down, and finally day around lunch he goes into his supervisor’s office and said “Sorry boss. Can’t keep working today. Don’t feel good.”  His supervisor said “You have been working hard. You’re married aren’t you? You know what I do when I’m feeling tired of working? I go buy a single long stem red rose, a bottle of good wine and some fine chocolate.  Then I go home to my wife, and give her a soft sweet kiss on the cheek. Then I start to kiss her neck. Then I lead her over to the couch, put my hand on her knee, and give her a really long, passionate kiss.  And then, well, let’s just say  an hour or two later, I’m feeling great, and ready to come back to work again. Works every time.

So Chaka leaves and a couple of hours later he comes in and he’s got a big smile on his face and he looks much happier and more relaxed.  And his boss said “well, it looks like you took my advice”.  And Chaka said “I sure did. Thanks, boss. I feel a lot better now.  By the way, you have nice house.”
I once dated a girl who was a magician. She put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.

The Pharmacist
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
“Hey. Nice earring. How long have you been wearing an earring?” “Ever since my wife found it in the car.”

 The Husband and the Snails

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, “Wouldn’t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?” He went back to gathering the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They talked for a few hours, and then she kissed him.  He suddenly realized that to stay with her might end his marriage with his beloved wife. Things weren’t exciting anymore, be he did love her.  He apologized, excused himself, grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we’re almost there!!”

Page topic: Funny sex jokes, dating jokes and romance and relationship jokes