Funny Doctor Stories and True Medical Exam Stories

Embarrassing medical exam stories and Funny doctor examination stories:  True funny stories and accounts reported by doctors asked to give the funniest or most unusual physical exam stories.

The physical exam: Sometimes awkward, sometimes embarrassing, and quite a ripe set up for some humorous unexpected moments.  This collection includes funny and embarrassing stories by doctors and ER physicians.

Embarrassing medical exam stories and funny doctor stories.

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, ‘Keep off the grass.’ Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which said, ‘Sorry, had to mow the lawn.’
-Submitted by RN no name

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. ‘Which one?’ I asked. ‘The patch, the Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’ I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
-Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA

An elderly patient became irate during a medical examination when he peaked at the doctor’s chart and saw that the doctor had written Major S.O.B. underlined at the bottom.
The physician stopped him in mid-rant by saying “Major Shortness of Breath. But now they both apply.”
-unnamed physician

A man comes into the ER and yells, ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!’ I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her under-wear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs — and I was in the wrong one.
-Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. ‘Big breaths,’ I instructed. ‘Yes, they used to be,’ replied the patient.
-Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’ After a look of complete confusion she answered, ‘Why, not for about twenty years — when my husband was alive.’
-Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR

I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a woman I asked, ‘So how’s your breakfast this morning?’ ‘It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,’ the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’
-Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

page topic: true funny stories about Doctor examinations. Accounts by physicians about funny medical exams and physicals.