Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application

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 Here is an actual McDonald’s Application. Nothing was changed except the name of the applicant, Greg Bulmash, whose name was changed to John Smith to protect his anonymity.

McDONALDS APPLICATION

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

Page topic: Funny Job Application: Real McDonalds Job Application
 

31 thoughts on “Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application”

  10. my uncle was the manager of that very store and i have seen the application in question, in fact the guy who applied is my friend

  16. lol that is so funny thats the kinda funny guy i would consider dating lol i like wise guys lol

  17. This is lol funny because of three things

    3. The Funniest part was the great way you protected Greg Bulmash’s Identity

    2. Most People Missed the “Sign Here” Part

    and the number 1 reason

    1. He Got Hired

  26. He appropriately and smartley responded to the various questions. Where the question was precise and clear he answered correctly. Where the question was ambiquous he intentionaly gave a what appears to be a stupid answer.

    He is not stupid after all.

    I would definitely hire his services.

  27. “Here is an actual McDonald’s Application. Nothing was changed except the name of the applicant, Greg Bulmash, whose name was changed to John Smith to protect his anonymity.” I think you just gave his real name, idiot.

  31. It was written by a 28-year-old humorist who never submitted it at McDonalds. He wrote that 4 months before he got his name in People, Newsweek, and Wired, for writing a funny “where are they now” column that appeared on the Internet Movie Database.

    The Greg Bulmash who wrote that is a Scorpio, was tthe winning bachelor on an episode of “The All New Dating Game” in 1987, has a degree in Creative Writing, and can’t believe that this gag, which celebrated its 14th birthday this month, still makes its way around the internet.

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