Funny Universal Truths

Here are some funny universal truths:

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

Everyone who grew up in the 80’s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You’re never quite sure whether it’s against the law or not to have a fire in your back yard.

You never know where to look when eating a banana.

Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

You never ever run out of salt.

You can’t respect a man who carries a dog.

There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.

People who don’t drive slam car doors too hard

Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

Bricks are horrible to carry.

In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.