Good Funny quotes: Best famous quotes about Funny
You’re only has good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz
Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day. – Jay Leno
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. – Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
I rant, therefore I am. – Dennis Miller
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. – Spike Milligan
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Emo Philips
I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name. – Paula Poundstone
If God wanted us to bend over he’d put diamonds on the floor. – Joan Rivers
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. – Rita Rudner
There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them. – Casey Stengel
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. – Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? – Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? – Lily Tomlin
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. – Harry S. Truman
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. – Mark Twain
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together. – Oprah Winfrey
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. – Steven Wright
I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. – Steven Wright
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. – Steven Wright
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