Funny Church Bulletins and Announcement Mistakes and Bloopers

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Don’t let worries kill you- let the church help.

 

 

Here are some really funny church bulletins and announcements:

 

 

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on the Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I will not pass this way again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: “Break Forth Into Joy.”

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 

 

Page Topic: Funny Church Bulletins and Announcement Mistakes

 

 

13 thoughts on “Funny Church Bulletins and Announcement Mistakes and Bloopers”

  1. Pastor says, ” Today’s sermon title is “The Seven Steps to Sex”… He meant to say success.. it was very funny… I think the whole church was in tears

  2. “We are currently running short on mice pies for the church trip, and would be very pleased if you brought us some.”
    -A mistake my father made in an announcement.

  3. ” I have my main text here and my kotex”
    -A mistake made by our associate pastor one night when he was preaching he meant to say “cotext”

  4. A men’s choir is starting in two weeks. If you are a man and you like to sin in the shower, consider joining in with other men!

  6. our choire director said once at practice
    “ok guys let’s start today from the psalm 150, ‘let everything that has breasts praise the Lord’ ”
    that was hilarious, he got so imbarrased and you could see him turn read after he realized what he had just said LOL :D

  7. Bulletin mess up “Ladies wanting to find more happiness in your life see the pastor for details on joining the group.”

  8. As one lay reader preached:
    “Our faith should explode like giant geysers (pronounced geezers). Let as all be geysers of God!”

  10. the farewell sermon of our senior pastor happened to land on july 4th. it was called, “Our senior pastor is leaving, Let’s celebrate our independance!”

  11. Church Bloopers:
    “There will be a meeting of the little mothers club on Thursday. All wishnig to become little mothers please see the pastor in his private office.”

    “Scouts are collecting recyclable goods. All proceeds will help cripple children.”

  12. Our bulletin like any other has had it’s misprints, and i saw this one last week, “Join the Upward basketball team this Friday at 7:30pm as we kill Christ the King.” In our community, the church is a Luthren church. The church was nearly dying in laughter as the pastor read that annoucement.

  13. From a preacher who did not proofread his notes before sending them to b e included in the bulletin. Point one for Sunday’s sermon: ISRAEL ‘SEXODUS FROM EGYPT.

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