Funny Deep Thoughts: Funny Sayings and Thoughts that make you think

Here are some funny sayings, witty one liners and thought provoking oxymorons  that make you think. 
The future isn’t what it used to be.

This man’s work cannot be underrated.

Way down deep he’s shallow.

Before they made him they broke the mold.

Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.
—Samuel Goldwyn
 
I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I came in.
   
UFO’s show than our worst fears were groundless.
 
He’s a unique type.
 
You have one choice.
 
Acupuncture is pointless.
 
It’s 90% too late.

It’s probably a lot worse than it is.
   
The Avant-Garde is Passe.

While these results may seem rather trivial, their importance cannot be underestimated.
 
There’s more to photography that meets the eye.

If you think about it long enough, you’ll see that it’s obvious.
 
Anyone who always tells the truth is a big liar.

The main trouble with impossibility is that it is never total.

If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
 
I am going to be healthy if it kills me.
 
The only attitude I trust is skepticism.
 
Our lack of cooperation is mutual.

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
Life should have a purpose, however meaningless.
  
If everything goes perfectly, something’s wrong.
 
There’s nothing new in originality.

Down with propaganda!
 
Thinking is the last thing on my mind!
 
I have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse.
 
If it involves me, I want nothing to do with it.

I absolutely refuse to be assertive.

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Why should I consider your questions, when you don’t even know the answers?

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

How do you expect me to ignore you when you’re never around?

Please – I can only ignore one thing at a time.

At the last technical meeting I attended, so much went on that I was underwhelmed.
This book fills a much-needed gap.

People who like this sort of thing will fmd it just the sort of thing they like.
—Abraham Lincoln
 
I can’t stand people who look down on people who look down on people.

If he were alive today, he’d turn over in his grave.

Our advance is so rapid that we are falling farther and farther behind.

Whenever I look for something, it’s always in the last place I look.

We have worked ourselves into a frenzy of lethargy.

If God intended man to understand the human mind, he wouldn’t have given him one!

If I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn’t have worked so hard when I was young!

I gave you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!

This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.

I won’t hesitate for a moment to avoid answering!
 
I have something to say, but I don’t know what.

You don’t stand alone. I also stand alone!

I’m an atheist, thank God.

I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.

The time has come to rise above principles.

Include me out!
—Samuel Goldwyn

Page topic: Funny deep thoughts: Funny, clever and witty sayings, oxymorons and thoughts that make you think…