Funny Epitaphs and Tombstones from old cemeteries

Most of these funny cemetery tombstone epitaphs came from graveyards in the old West, where it was often left to acquaintances or even strangers to choose the words on a tombstone, and where a sense of humor was a survivor tool. Some came from elsewhere in the U.S., and some from England or elsewhere. many of these funny epitpahs are well-documented, and some can still be found. Boot Hill, in Tombstone Arizona, and also Boot Hill, in Dodge City, Kansas, have several preserved.

Here are some of the funniest epitaphs:

It was a Cough

That carried him Off

It was a Coffin

They Carried him Off In

On an attorneyâ€™s tombstone:

Goembel

John E.

1867-1946

“The defense rests”

Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon me For not rising.

Ruidoso, New Mexico

Jedediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828

Going!

Going!!

Gone!!!

1876

Stranger tread

This ground with gravity.

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity.

Here Lies Jane Smith

Wife of Thomas Smith

Marble Cutter:

This Monument Erected

By Her Husband

As A Tribute

To Her Memory.

Monuments of this style

are 250 Dollars.

Effie Jean Robinson

1897-1922

Come blooming youths,

as you pass by ,

And on these lines do cast an eye.

As you are now, so once was I;

As I am now, so must you be;

Prepare for death and follow me.

Upon which someone scribbled:

To follow you

I am not content,

How do I know

Which way you went.

Here lies Lester Moore.

Four slugs

From a forty-four.

No Les

No More.

Here lies Johnny Cole.

Who died upon my soul

After eating a plentiful dinner.

While chewing his crust

He was turned into dust

With his crimes undigested –

poor sinner.

Bill Blake

Was hanged by mistake.

Here lays Butch.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.

Here lies a man named Zeke.

Second fastest draw

in Cripple Creek.

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.

We made the mistake, But the joke’s on him.

He called

Bill Smith

A Liar

I would

rather be here

than in Texas.

Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.

He got a fish-bone

in his throat

and then he sang

an angel note.

She was not smart,

she was not fair,

But hearts with grief

for her are swellin’;

All empty stands

her little chair:

She died of eatin’

water-mellon.

Rebecca Freeland

1741

She drank good ale,

good punch and wine

And lived to the age of 99.

Beneath this stone,

a lump of clay,

Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt.

Who died one morning just at ten

And saved a dinner by it.

here lies AN athiest, John Doe

All dressed up and no place to go!

Here he lies, James T. Carson

He blew up his wife

and was hung for arson.

Here lies the body

of John Round.

Lost at sea

and never found.

And here’s an epitaph with a funny double meaning-
you might have to think about it…

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot

Who was accidentally killed

in the 45th year of his age.

This monument was erected

by his grateful family.

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