Best Homer Simpson Quotes: Top 20 Funny Quotes and Lines from Homer Simpson

With around two decades of The Simpsons (Shouldn’t Homer he be about 60 by now?!?) it’s not easy to pick out the top 20 Best funny quotes by Homer Simpson, but we couldn’t help but give it a try. So,here are the top 20 best funny quotes and lines from one of the world’s most beloved intellectually-challenged nuclear plant workers.

Top 20 Best Homer Simpson Quotes:

1. Oh, they have Internet on computers now.2. Marge I swear, I never thought that you would find out.

3. Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life’s problems.

4. America’s health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain… well…all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don’t live in Paraguay!

5. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen.

6. Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand!

7. Oh, everything’s too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody’s a sinner! Except this guy.

8. Don’t let Krusty’s death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!

9. If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers!

10. All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

11. Woo hoo! 350 dollars! Now I can buy 70 transcripts of Nightline!

12. Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster’s dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one’s garden.

13. Now, Marge, don’t discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.

14. I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

15. I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”

16. Well, let’s just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, ‘Marge, if this doesn’t get your motor running, my name isn’t Homer J. Simpson.’

17. Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just the sex! It’s also the food preparation.

18. When I look at the smiles on all the children’s faces, I just know they’re about to jab me with something.

19. Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure…not even close!

20. You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.

Page Topic: Top 20 Best Funny quotes and lines from Homer Simpson on The Simpsons