We’ve probably all heard people say stupid things at the office. We might have said 1 or 2 (hundred) ourselves. Here’s a collection of actual quotes people overheard their coworkers say. Some are funny, some are just stupid and a few are pretty sad… So here are funny things people overheard at the office:
“Do you think I’ve been sitting here twiddling my ass?”
“At no time do I ever condone you making changes to improve things in the office.”
“Snakes on a Plane – what’s that about?”
“Go jump off a lake.”
“He’s not the sharpest canister in the ocean.”
“Keep a stiff upper chin.”
“The squeaky wheel gets the spoke.”
“I can lead you to horsewater, but I can’t make you drink.”
“He’d give you the arm off his back.”
“You play ball with me, and I’ll scratch yours.”
“It’s half of one, six dozen of another…”
“Don’t look at me with that tone of voice!â€
“We do not have a smoking cow at this point.”
“Is there 264 days in the year? Or is it 265?”
“My daughter is as smart as a tack.”
“I’ve got a higher IQ than your little pinky finger.”
“If Dad were here right now, he’d be rolling over in his grave.”
“Well, it may be the wrong tool for the job, but it is the right tool for the business.”
“It’s our golden goose. We better figure out how to make her purr.”
“I can’t believe they took my license! Now if they catch me speeding I’ll REALLY be in trouble!â€
“You know that $100 bucks I didn’t need from you? Do you think we could split it? You still come out $50 ahead.â€
And I’m adding my own here- I swear I had this exact conversation with a rather innocent-minded coworker:
Me: You know, you are so gullible, that in the dictionary, under the word gullible, there’s a picture of you.
Her: [with a big proud smile that she didn’t fall for it] No there is not!
Page topic: Funny and stupid things overheard at the office.
He is, indeed, a few crumbs short of the biscuit!
“What happens when you rub 2 sticks together?”
“You’re Fired!!!”
“…and he came down like an apple in a bag of oranges!”
Receptionist: “This man is very angry and he wants to speak to a live person.”
Me: “Wow, so that is a break from the normal calls you receive from customers wanting to talk to a dead person’s voice mail?”
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