Top 50 Business and Office Slang Terms and expressions for 2007

Just in case you find yourself lost in the strange and exotic world of office conversations, InnocentEnglish presents the top 50 business slang terms for 2007.  If you read them out loud at work, you might notice some prairie dogging happening in the cube farm.

404 – Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Adminisphere – The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek – The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”

Assmosis – The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Betamaxed – When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in “Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market”

Blamestorming – A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Bookmark – To take note of a person for future reference. “After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him.”

Brain Fart – A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly; a burst of useful information. “I know you’re busy on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?” Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.

CGI Joe – A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Chainsaw Consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Chip Jewelry – Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. “I paid three grand for that Mac and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.”

Chips and Salsa – Chips = hardware, salsa = software. “First we gotta figure out if the problem’s in your chips or your salsa.”

CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. “Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.”

Cobweb – A WWW site that never changes.

Crapplet – A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!”

Cube Farm – An office filled with cubicles.

Dead Tree Edition – The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.

Dilberted – To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. “Damn, I’ve been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week.”

Dorito Syndrome – The feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome.”

Egosurfing – Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one’s own name.

Elvis Year – The peak year of popularity as in “1993 was Barney the dinosaur’s Elvis year”

Flight Risk – Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

Generica – Fast food joints, strip malls, sub-divisions as in “we were so lost in generica that I couldn’t remember what city it was”.

Glazing – Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?”

GOOD job – A “Get-Out-Of-Debt” job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Gray Matter – Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.

Graybar Land – The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across the screen). “That CAD rendering put me in graybar land for like an hour.”

High Dome – Egghead, scientist, PhD

Idea Hamsters – People whose idea generators are always running.

Irritainment – Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Link Rot – The process by which web page’s links become obsolete as the sites they’re connected to change or die.

Mouse Potato – The online generation’s answer to the couch potato.

Ohnosecond – That minuscule fraction of time during which you realize you’ve just made a terrible error.

Open-Collar Workers – People who work at home or telecommute.

Percussive Maintenance – The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Plug-and-Play – A new hire who doesn’t require training. “That new guy is totally plug-and-play.”

Prairie Dogging – When something loud happens in a cube farm, causing heads to pop up over the walls trying to see what’s going on.

Salmon Day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed in the end. “God, today was a total salmon day!”

Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

SITCOMs – What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. “Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage”

Starter Marriage – A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy – A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.

Swiped Out – An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.

Treeware – Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Umfriend – One with whom one has a sexual relationship; as in, “this is Dale, my…um…friend.”

Under Mouse Arrest – Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest.”

Uninstalled – Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.

WOOFYS – Well Off Older Folks.

Xerox Subsidy – Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

Yuppie Food Coupons – Twenty dollar bills from an ATM.

Page topic: Top 50 Business and Office Slang Terms for 2007: Common office slang terms and expressions for 2007