A Day of Tutoring

These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.

I am so eager to mate you!

Please execute me for being late.

Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?

I am sorry I am later.
It took me ten minutes to ignite my car.

Am I making P correctly?

Did you have an accident?
When I was skiing, a tree got in front of me
and hit me hard!

You look sad today.
Do you want to expose yourself to me?

You called at the perfect time.
I just walked into the door.

Thank you so much for tuting!

Please don’t shoot so many people in my country.
What?
Please don’t shoot people in my country very often.
Could you say it really slowly?
Police don’t shoot people in my country very often.

I’m sorry, but I couldn’t write my essay.
My roommate had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn’t write your essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!

What did you do this weekend?
We went to a Karaoke bar.
Did you sing?
yes. I was shy but I strongly did it.
What did you sing?
You are the wind beneath my wigs.