Funny Blonde Joke Limericks

Blond Joke Poems

I can’t resist including these funny poems, by Graham Lester, which are also funny blonde jokes.

A blonde girl named Emily Skinner
Would not eat a bite of her dinner
She’d been painting her door
And the man at the store
Had told her she had to get thinner

Once a sleepy blonde server, Liz Dower
Had a dream she was taking a shower
When she woke she construed
She was totally nude
But by God she’d made tips that half hour!

A blonde-haired young lady from Wales
Applied for a job tracking sales
When they asked, “Can you file?”
She proceeded to smile
And held up ten pretty red nails

Acme’s chief of financial affairs
Hires as many dumb blondes as he dares
Though they can’t do math well
He just thinks that it’s swell
To be working with figures like theirs

Here are a few more good, funny limericks by Graham Lester:

He’s charming and handsome and slim
But Mary is dumping her Tim:
He’s unfaithful and brash
And won’t put out the trash,
Although all the trash put out for him.

I awoke late last night in my bed
With a grandiose scheme in my head
For ascending Mount Everest,
But it wasn’t my cleverest,
So I went to the bathroom instead.

“This looks like two squid on two bikes,”
Said the surgeon of poor Michael Sykes,
As he held up the tumor
(He just loved stand-up humor
And could never resist open Mikes).

Arthur Jones to his bride-to-be said,
“I can shoot off this pear from your head.”
Then he missed by a hair,
But he still split a pair,
For there’s lead in the miss he misled

A gambler in debt far too deep
Was needing a way to live cheap,
So he planted by hand
Lots of crops on his land.
Now he just has to weed ‘em and reap.

 

 

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