!)oh my god your gay!!! 2)come on sing it with me u know the words! 3)no thanks man, you’ve been singin that shit all week, i swear to god if u sing that shit at MSU this saturday i’ll kick your ass!
#1. (singing) How sweet it is to be loved by you (points at #2)
#2. Oh my God, you’re gay.
‘I don’t think he’s comin’ back.’
(1)Dude that chick’s a MILF! (2)What to hell is that?
(1)M-I-L-F Mom I’d like to fuck! (2)Yeah dude! Yeah!
(during sex)
STIFLER’S MOM: Oh Finchy, oh Finch!
FINCH: Stifler’s mom, oh Stifler’s mom!
(Stifler looking at Jim stripping on the Internet): What the fuck is this? (to his brother, who’s dancing like Jim): Chill out man!
..is it true that he is… epuipped…?
1) All you have to do is ask them questions and listen to what they have to say and shit. 2) I don’t know, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
1) Ariel, man she is so hot 2) She’s a mermaid, dude 1) Yeah, Oz, but not when she’s on land
1) I had no idea you’d be this good. 2) Neither did I.
1)Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the one with a girlfriend and you’re still stranded on third base. 2)At least I know what third base feels like. You’re still a batboy. 1)A batboy?
1)Dude. Chick’s a MILF! 2)What the hell is that? 1)M-I-L-F! Mom I’d Like to Fuck!
1. How’s the pale ale Stiffler? 2. Fuck you.
1. I got some scotch. 2. Single malt? 1. Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
1. I want it to be the right time, the right place… 2. It’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s SEX.
1. Oh, Finchy. Finch. 2. Oh, Stifler’s Mom, whoa!
1. Separately we are flawed and vunerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny. 2. [imitating dubbed martial-arts dialogue] Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it! 1. Guys… 3. The Shaolin masters of East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one! 1. GUYS! I’m serious!
1. So what’d you think? 2. I thought you sounded really good. 3. I think you need your balls reattached.
1. You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit. 2. Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
1.)I am a sofisticated sex robot sent back through time, to change the world, for one lucky lady… 2.) Go get ’em tiger… 3.) I’ll be back
1.Dude that fart stinks you smell like the yeti! 2. YETI! I AM THE YETI!
1/oz! 2/ hey you called me oz 1/ Well yeah, i mean that’s what your friends call you and i am your friend and even your…girlfriend
1: I don’t wanna see any of you thinking you’re gonna score. You don’t score, till you score. 2: TILL YOU SCORE! 1: This game marks the culmination of the past four years! 2: CULMINATION!
1: If Sherman has sex before I do, I gonna be really pissed! 2: Sherman? The Sherminator?
1: We´re here for the party! 2:What party? Here´s no party! Try the house down the street!
Jessica: You’ve never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
Vicky: I’ve never tried it.
Jessica: You’ve never double-clicked your mouse?
Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Oz: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald’s or homemade?
Jim: I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.
Michelle: There was this one time, at band camp, when I stuck a flute up my pussy.
Michelle:There was this one time, at band camp, and I stuck a flute up my pussy.
Oz: Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.
Girl: That’s pathetic!
Oz: Suck me beautiful!
Stifler’s Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
Stifler: I say, why don’t you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking use them!
Stifler: I’ll see you guys tonight, in the ‘No Fucking Section’, right?
Vicky: And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that’s okay cause’ he’s a guy, right?
Jessica: He got a dick, he’s a guy
Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place.
Jessica: It’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s sex.
all you have to do is ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit. i dont know dude, that sounds like a lot of work.
All you need to do is how to press a girl´s buttons!
You have to give her what she´s never had!
And there was this one time at band camp, when i shoved a flute up my pussy
And this one time at band camp i stuck a flute up my pussy
Are we gonna screw soon? I’m getting kind of antsy.
Choir chick…what the hell are you doing here?
Confidence is high, repeat confidence is high.
Doggie wants to hide the bone! – Ride me like a pony!!
Dude! You gotta take a shit, you smell like a yeti!
Dude, it’s gonna happen. She’s a college chick!
Enough of this blowjob bullshit I gotta get laid all ready.
finch and stiflers mum fucking on the pool table and stifler comes in)
STIFLER: mum? shitbrick?
FINCH: oh hey stifler
(stifler faints)
finch- woman are like a fine wine,they only get better with age.
Finch: I gotta go, it’s 16 minutes round trip./Kevin: Finch, when are you gonna learn to take a dump at school?/Finch: Have you looked at the facilities in this school?
Friends call me Nova, as in Casa Nova…
fuck man, youre all deadbeat wankers, yeah you the one reading this, i fucked your mum.
Fuckface?!
girl(whispering): …i want to have sex…
guy(surprised):NOW???!!!
Go Over and Ask If She Needs An Extra Hand
go tri-boy, its your birthday
God bless the Internet
God bless the Internet.
GOd stiffler, why you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
He just didn’t pull out the chair? Yes he pulled out the chair. Stifler- What the fuck is this? Bad Jim, bad! Sit, this is gotten a hole hell of a lot better.
he likes getting head, gee, what a total shocker
Heres and idea how about you guys locate your dicks remove the shrink wrap and fucking use them
Hey, you know what we should do? Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. That would be so funny!
Hit that high C! LAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
How are you this evening ? I am 3 sheets to the wind mam. Oh I am so happy for you.
how sweet it is 2 be loved by you!!!
I don’t know man, that sounds like a lot of work!
I have an announcement that i would like to make!
There is a gorgeous woman, masterbating, on my bed!
I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
I say, why don’t you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!
i think you need your balls reattached
I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.
I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed.
I’ll look for you guys in the non-fucking section.
I’ll look for you in the no fucking section
I’ve never even had sex and I hate it. I HATE SEX!!
if i going to have sex with you tomorrow you gonna tell all your friends about me
Illegal channels? If there’s any channel that should be illegal it’s that all womans channel, lifetime supply of pantyhose, or some shit.
Im going to get myself a real bitch
SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL
It almost looks like a tropical plant or something. . .
It’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s sex
It’s not a space shuttle launch, it’s SEX.
its about time she experienced the shermanater
Jim’s Dad: Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. I just want you to know that it is a perfectly normal, uh, thing. I have have admit, I did a fair amount of, masturbating, when i was a little younger, I used to call it stroking the salami. You know pounding the old pudding. I never did it with baked goods. But you know your Uncle Mort? He pets the old-eyed-snake five or six times a day. You see it’s like practice for the big game. You see? And it’s like banging a tennis ball against the brick wall. Which can be fun. It can be fun, but it’s not a game. What you want is a partner to return the ball. Do you want a partner?
Jim: Yeah. Yeah, yeah I want a partner.
Jim’s Dad: You want a partner?
Jim: Yes.
Jim’s Dad: Good. Good.
Jim: You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Jim: Holy shit. Kev/Finch. Hoooly shit. Blink182: Hoooooly Shit.
Jim: What am I gonna do, huh? Broadcast her over the internet.
Stifler: Yeah. Kevin: You can do that? Jim: No, I cannot do that to her. Stifler: Man, I you don’t have the guts to photograph a naked chick in your house, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one? Finch: I don’t like the kid, but he’s got a point Jim. Stifler: See, even shit-brick knows you should do it!
just relax, take it slow, and let the good times roll
kevin : no longer will out penises remain flacid and unused
Kevin: No prostitutes, if that’s what your thinking, Finch! Jim: Busted.
Let me hear that high c not…aaahhh!!!
Maybe i should call you a cab, or not considerind i might go to hell this time of night!
Michelle :SAY MY NAME… WHAT’S MY NAME BITCH
Jim: Michelle ,Michelle
michelle okay b4 we start whats my name
jim uhhhhh uh
michelle say my name bitch!!
jim michelle michelle
Michelle:Now I have 2 condoms. Wear them both. It will de-synthesize you. I don’t want you coming so damn early this time.
Jim: Wh-What makes you think that I would come early?
Michelle: Oh come on! I saw you on the net. Why do you think I accepted this date? You’re a sure thing.
Jim: Yes I am!
MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF!
MILF!!! MILF!!! MILF!!!
mmm… she reads the articles…
Mom…? Shitbreak…?
Mom? Shitbreak?
mr finch-are you trying to seduce me?
My dates a flute toting band dork. Does that answer your question ?
Nadia stripping: Finch- oh, oh there that goes. oh nice collection there Jimbo! she reads the articles.
Nadia: So, um, shaved is the expession?
Jim: Holy shit.
Finch: Holy shit!
Band Group: Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: H-holy shit!
Now i’m going back to my date now, because at least she talks about something besides sex.
Now, Im gonna go talk to that geek over there. At least she has other things to talk about besides sex.
oh god, she sure takes her vitamins
Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. Beautiful country
Oh, nice collection there, Jim.
Oh, that was a tit! That is a tit!
One time at band camp…
One time, at band camp, I stuck a flute up my pussy.
opening scene: oh! doggie wants to hide the bone, do a little bone smuggling. Man would you shut up!!
Oz (singing): How sweet it is to be loved by you.. (points at Stifler)
Stifler: Oh my God, you’re gay!
Sarah(girl running down stairs)-ahh! Jim-regergitation..
Say goodbye to Chuck Sherman the boy. I am a man. We were doing the wild thing all night. I’m exhausted.
Say my name bitch!
See, even shitbrick thinks you should do it.
Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our own sexual destiny.
She’s gone! Oh my God! She used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
Sherman!!…. hhh What the fuck are you doing here?
Sherman, What the fuck are you doing here?
sherman,( sherman put his hand up ) wwwhat the fuck are you doing here!
Sherminator – I’m a safistacated sex robot sent back through time to change the future, for one lucky lady.
shitbreak
SI KEMP WROTE THE ONE BEFORE THIS QUOTE
So how was the pale ale?
So shaved is the expression?
Somebody’s goin’ in there!
Spank my hairy ass!
Stiffler, fuck! Why do you always have to be so damn insensitive all the time?
STIFFLER, FUCK!, why do you have to be so insensitive??
Stifler’s mom!!!!!!
Stifler’s Mom: Aged 18 years, just how I like them.
Stifler: Sherman! Sherman: Hey! Stifler: WHat the fuck are you doing here?!
Stifler: They sucked ass! Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?!
Heather: Well, I was going to ask Chris to the prom, so do you want to go?
Oz: Yeah, that would be great.
Stifler: Just don’t expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Oz: Stifler! Why do gotta to be so insensitive all the time?
Sifler: What?! Whatever.
Stifler: They sucked ass! Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?!
Heather: Well, I was going to ask Chris to the prom, so do you want to go?
Oz: Yeah, that would be great.
Stifler: Just don’t expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Oz: Stifler! Why do gotta to be so insensitive all the time?
Stifler: What?! Whatever.
SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL
Suck me beautiful!
suck me beautiful!!
Suck me beautiful.
Suck me.. Beautiful..
The shaolin masters from east and west must fight, and find out who’s number 1
Their tiger style kung-fu is strong but our dragon style will defeat it.
Their tiger-style kung fu is strong, but our dragon-style kung fu will defeat it!
There is a bueatiful girl… masterbating on my bed.
This one time at band camp. I stuck a flute in my pussy.
This one time at band camp…
This one time, at band camp…..i stuck a flute up my pussy.
-Spits drink everywhere-
What you think I dont know how to get myself off?
Vicky! Jessica! Great to see you, glad you could make it… Haha *Bitches!*
Vicky, Jessica, good to see you! Ha Ha…BITCHES
Vicky- Is this translation right, go home bird teacher I’ve had enough?
viky: hey kevin, Kevin: what? Vicky: I want to have sex, Kevin: Now? Vicky: Prom
We were doing the wild thing all night. I’m exausted.
We’re Here for the party. There’s no party. Stifler great party man here have another beer. Wierd why don’t you try the house down the street.
Well safer than a tube sock.
Well we’ll just tell your mother that we ate it all.
well, youve seen me now it my turn to see you…strip!!
What’s my name bitch!
What’s my name? SAY MY NAME BITCH!
What’s my name? Say my Name Bitch!
What? Whatever!
whats my name? SAY MY NAME BITCH!
Whoa! This is like the coolest thing I ever seen! I know.
Why dont you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrinkwrap, and fucking use them!!
Why is this door locked? Mom where’s-. Mom? Sh-shit brick?!
women are like a fine wine…they only get better with age
wot do u think hes gonna drive up there for…..milk and cookies??
Yeti! I am the Yeti!
You coming to the party tonight Ozzy? You fuck face!
You guys are goin fuck aren’t you!
You guys are gonna fuck aren’t ya? FUCKERS!! FUCKERS!!
YOu guys are gonna fuck! You guys are gonna fuck!
you guys are gunna fuck arent u?? fuckers fuckers fuckers fuckers!!!
You have seen me now it’s time for me to see you!
you just inherrited the bible
You know what? I am a band geek. I just never joined the band.
You know, if you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it!
You mean you never double clicked your mouse?
You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
you smell like a fuckin yeti
You’ve never double clicked your mouse?
You’ve never double-clicked your mouse?
You’ve never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
[stiffler]sherman! [sherman]hey! [stiffler} what the fuck are you doing here!!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘American Pie’: Quotes from the movie ‘American Pie’