I eat cause im not happy, and im not happy because eat, its a vicious cycle.
(Austin drinks a cup of poo thinking it was coffee)
A:This tastes like sh**!
B. Exposition: Thats because it is sh** Austin.
A:Oh. (takes another sip)A little nutty.
(austin,s and felicity,s romance moment get disturbed,when somebody knock
they door.)
voice:special delivery!
(fat bastard broke the door when he come inside,and he,s have a gun.)
fat bastard:suprise,suprise.hey baby,do you want to do it again?
because if have get fat,you never wanna go back,haahahhaaa!
austin:shut you mouth,you bastard…who is fat.
fat bastard:oh,yeah.
felicity:before you kill us,let me ask one question.are you happy?
fat bastard:what kind of stupid question is that?im rich and dead-sexy!
felicity:you didnt answer my question.are you happy?
fat bastard:of course im no happy.look at me,i am big, fat sloob.
i,ve got bigger tittyy,s then you do,and i got more chings then chiense
born pig!i havent see my wheely over two years,it,s long enough to say
it,s a legualy dea!(sighh..)i cant stop eating.i eat be cause im unhappy…(heavy sigghh…)and im unhappy because i eat,it,s wicth
circel.if you excuse,theres some i have to get in toush him to forget..
myself(fat bastard fart)prooooooooo!
austin:oh my god…
fat bastard.sorry,i farted.it,s a long to do ahead…argh,hwo im kidding?imgonna kill you anyway(butt felicity have allready get
ready to this and kick…RIGHT ON THE NUTTS!
OOOOOOOOOH!RIGHT IN THE MOMMYDADDY-BUTTOM!
felicity:that,s for calling me fat,you crappy.
(fat bastard fall in the floor.)
austin:no bab,he really is fat bastard,butt you shuoldnt knock him in the bells,it,s just not krickets…
(singing) What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us…bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo bloo…
1) (stating the absolute obvious) Vanessa!! You’re a Fembot!! 2) No shit, Sherlock!
1) Austin (breathing) I am your father 2)really? 1)no, not really. i can’t back that up
1) Do you know how we keep warm in Russia? 2) Ho ho ho, I can guess baby 1) We play chess 2) I guessed wrong
1) Mister president are you suggesting that we blow up the moon?
2) Would you miss it?
1) this kinda tastes like shit. 2) It is shit 1) Oh good, it’s not just me
1) Who are you, baby? 2) Ivana. Ivana Humpalot 1) Excuse me 2) Ivana Humpalot 1) And Ivana toilet made out of solid gold but that’s not in the cards now is it?
1)(in a Darth Vader voice) You must know this. Austin…I am your father. 2)Really? 1)(Regular voice) No, not really.
1)Come on, Mr. President. Show me the money. 2)What money? 1)Show me the money! Show me the money! You had me at hello. Tear. 3)Psst! This is 1969! Jerry Maguire doesn’t come out in another 30 years! Nobody knows what you’re talking about! Ass.
1)How do you get into those pants? 2)You could start by buying me a drink.
1)I would like…100 billion dollars! (everybody laughs) 2)Hey, this is 1969, that kind of money doesn’t even exist! (mocking) I’d like a million bajillion dollars!
1)Talk to the hand cuz the face isn’t listening. 2)Talk to what hand? Talk to YOUR hand? 1)You ain’t all that and a bag of potato chips. 2)What? 1)Don’t go there, girlfriend. Mmm hmm! 3)You’re an idiot.
1)This coffee smells like shit! 2)It IS shit, Austin! 1)Oh good, then it wasn’t just me. (drinks it) It’s a bit nutty…
1. Are you suggesting that we blow up the moon?
2. Well, would we miss it?
1. Colonel, you better have a look at this radar. 2. What is it son? 1. I don’t know sir, but it look like a giant.. 3. Dick! Dick, take a look out the starboard… 4. Oh my God, it looks like a huge.. 5. Pecker! 6. Where? 5. Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it’s not a bird, it’s.. 7. Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long smooth shaft complete with… 8. Two balls! What is that? It look like an enormous.. 2. Johnson! 1. Yes, sir? 2. Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
1. I shall call it The Death Star
2. [snickers]
1. What?
2. Oh, nothing….Darth
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh nothing, Darth What?
Scott: Oh nothing, Darth
1.) I will never love another man. 2.) Yes….that is true.
Felicity: Mr. Powers, I Presume…
Austin: Powers by name… powers by reputation!
Felicity: Felicity Shagwell… C.I.A… Shagwell by name; shag very well, by reputation!
Austin: Oh Behave Baby!
Felicity: Not it I can help it!
ive got more chins than a chinese phone book
A billion is more then a million-ass.
A trillion is more than a billion,numnuts!
Ahhhh! you shot me you A-hole!
All I asked for was a frickin’ rotating chair!
alright, zip it. Zip it, zip. Ladies and gentleman of the jury Ex-zip-it A.. Look I’m zippy longstockings. When a problem comes along you you must zip it. Zip it good. Hie bla du wah mi sa heu iso-do. (undertitle: Zip it) Zip. Would you like to have a suckle of my zipple? Zip. Zip, Zip it, zip it. zip…zip…zip…zip…zip it!
American Woman.
And I’m spent.
are you going to shed a tear number 2
Ass!
Austin: Machine gun jublies! How’d i miss those?
Vanessa: It’s called foreplay
Austin: You’re quite good on your feet
Felicity: I’m even better off my feet.
aww look at him… he is so small…. he looks like a dog or something..
Aww..poor bugger
Baby! the other other white meat
Baby! The other, other white meat. Baby! It’s whats for dinner.
Baby, the other, other white meat
Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and your a dope?
Because you’re not quite evil enough. you’re quasi evil. you’re semi evil. you’re the margarine of evil. you’re the diet coke of evil. just one calorie, not just quite evil enough
But what does it all mean, Basil?
CHILLY, baby back ribs
do I make you horny baby? do I make you very randy?
Do something…you cycloptic jack*ss
Do you want to wear the daddy pants number too? Huh? Are you going to cry? Are you going to cry?
Don’t mess with me. I am one crazy mo fo. I once popped a cop because he wasn’t giving my props in Oak town.. I’ve heard that somewhere.
Dont mess with me im one crazy mofo, i had to pop a cop cause he wasnt paying me my craps in ope-town…. no? i thought i heard that somewhere
Dr Evil: Dont be scared Mini Me
Dr Evil: I need an old priest and a young priest. The Power of christ compels you! The power of christ compels you! (Chair stops spinning) OK felling a little sick, gonna vom. .
Dr Evil: OUCH! You shot me you A-Hole!
dr. evil : mini me…r u hungry? no? not even a hot-pocket? an eggo? no?
Dr. Evil- YOU AIN’T ALL THAT AND A BAG OF POTATO CHIPS!!!
Dr. Evil: Now, where’s my mojo?
Fat Bastard: First thing’s first, where’s your shitter? I got a turtle-head pokin out. OH ay, it’s squinchy. Oh Christ I’m gettin all emotional from it ya know…Dr. Evil: Number 2 you look so healthy and youthful. And Frau you look so…..right.
DR. EVIL: Number 2 you look so healthy and youthful. Frau, you look so… righhhhht.
Dr.Evil-You know what Scott, you had your chance. I already had someone created in my image. He’s evil, wants to take over the world, and fits easily into most overhead storage bins. Scott- What? HIM? He’s like a vicious little chihuahua thing!! He’ll probably kill me the first chance he gets. Dr.Evil-probably.
Dr.Evil: Don’t mess with me you crazy mofo, I once popped a cop for not giving me my props in Oaktown!….I’ve heard that somewhere…
Dr.Evil:Don’t mess with me i’m one crazy mofo i had to pop a cop cause he wouldn’t give me props in oaktown,no? I heard that somewhere.
F.Bastard:Ugh! What is that smell?
Number 2: It’s sulfur. We’ve got air freshener.(sprays pine air freshener)
F.Bastard: Great. Now it smells like someone craped on a pine tree.fat bastard – of course me no happy…look at me im a big fat slob…ive got bigger titties than u do…ive got more chins than a chinese fone book…i have not seen my willy in over 2 yrs which is long enough to declare legally dead…i cant stop eating..i eat b/c im unhappy..and im unhappy b/c i eat…its a vicious cycle
Fat Bastard: first things first, where’s your shitter? i got a turtle head pokin out. ~~ i’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey! christ i’m gettin all emotional
Fat Bastard: First things first. Where’s your shitter? I’ve got a turtle head poking out. Dr. Evil: Charming. Fat Bastard: I’m not kidding. I gotta crap on deck that can choke a donkey. Ooh! it’s sqiunchy. Christ, I’m getting all emotional from it. Dr. Evil: Riiiiiight. Fat Bastard, Can I have my mojo please? Fat Bastard: Where’s my money. (mini-Me comes in with a briefcase full of money) Fat Bastard: Jesus Christ, he’s tiny. I have bigger chunks of corn in my crap.
Fat Bastard: First things first. Where’s your shitter? I’ve got a turtlehead pockin’ out. I’m no kiddin’. I’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Oh it’s squighy. Oh christ I’m gettin’ all emotinal from it. Jesus christ he’s tinny, I’ve had bigger chuncks o’ corn in ma crap. Wait a minute, he kinda looks like a baby. Come ‘ere, I’m gonna eat ya. I’m bigger than you, I’m higher in the foodchain. Get in my Belly. Come on. You’re lucky wee man. Aah Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright; You get the mojo, you keep your money an’ I’ll get your babby.
FAT BASTARD: I’ve got more chins than a chinese phone book
fat bastard: wait a minute…he kinda looks like a baby..come here im gonna eat ya…im bigger than u im higher on the food chain…get in my belly..c’mon!
Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, Shag very well by reputation.
Felicity, what do you think of my shagpad baby? It’s amazing Austin…Make yourself at home. (Looks at picture) Hang a tic, that’s how my mojo was stolin…FAT BASTARD. Oh she’s a secret agent shes not interested in shagging…..Please God, Spectical Testicals Wallet and Watch.
Felicity:Austin Powers I presume. Austin:Powers by name,powers by reputation. Felicity:Felicity Shagwell,CIA. Shagwell by name,shag very well by reputation. Austin:Oh behave! Felicity:Not if I can help it! (both burst out laughing)
First things first. Where’s your shitter? I’ve gotta crap on deck that could choke a donkey.
Frau (shouting): SEND IN THE CLONE!!!!!!
Frau: 30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, etc. Dr. Evil: ok when the door closes, just say go…(door closes) Frau: GO!!!!!
Frau: Dr. Evil, I don’t want this to interfere with our work.
Dr Evil: Don’t worry momma… things won’t get weird.from the moment i heard frau say i had a clone, i knew i’d be safe ’cause i’d never be alone, an evil doctor shouldn’t speak aloud about his feelings, my hurt and my pain don’t make me too appealing, i knew scott would look up to me, share the love i have, make me wanna cry, be evil, but how bout feelings too, share my life with oprah, and myah angelou, but scott rejected me, saylavee, life is cruel, treat you unfairly, even so, a god their must be, mini-me, you complete me…
from the moment i heard frau, say i had a clone. i knew that id be safe cause id never be alone. an evil doctor shouldnt speak alot about his feelings. my hurt and my pain dont make me to appealing. i thought scott, would look up to me. run the business of the faimly. head an evil empire just like his dear old dad. give him my love and the things i never had. scott would think i was a cool guy. return the love i have, make me want to cry. ‘be evil’, but have my feelings too. change my life with oprah and mya angelo. but scott rejected me, c’est la vie. life is cruel treat u unfairly. even so a g-d there must be. mini me u complete me.
From the moment i heard frow say i had a cloan, i knew that id be safe cus id never be alone,an evil doctor shouldnt speak aloud about his feelings but my hurt and my pain dont make me too apealin i hoped scott would look up 2 me run the business of the family, had an evil empire just like his dear old dad, give him my love and the things i never had,scott would think i was a cool guy return the love i have make me want to cry be evil but i have my feelins too, live my life with opera and mia angelou but scott regected me, c’est la vie life is cruel treat u unfarely even so a god there must be mini me you complete me
From the moment I heard frow, say I had a clone, I knew that I’d be safe cuz I’d never be alone. An Evil doctor shouldnt speak a lot about his fealings, my heart and my brain dont make me too appealing. I hoped Scott, would look up to me, run the buisness of the family. Head an evil empire just like his dear old dad. Give him my love and the things I never had. But Scott rejected me-Si La Vi-Life is crule, treat you unfairly. Even so, a god there must be. Mini Me, you compleat me.
Get in mah bellay!
Get in my Belly
Get in my BELLY!
Get the stick!
grr baby, very grr..
He kinda looks like a baby
He left a floater!
he put roadkill in my bed!
he weighs a metric tonne his name Fat Basterd
He’s biting me! He’s biting me! The fucker is biting me!
He’s the snake to my mongoose, or the mongoose to my snake, either way it’s bad. I don’t know animals.
He’s the snake to my mongoose…or the mongoose to my snake. Either way its bad. I don’t know animals…
HEY, you kinda look like a baby!!! GET IN MY BELLY!!!
honestly who throws a shoe?
how about no scott OK!
How about NO, you crazy dutch Bastard- dr.evil in goldmember
How about no…Scott…okay?
I am about to travel back in time, I bid you all Adieu!
I am damn sexy, You are crap!
I eat because I’m unhappy. And I’m unhappy because I eat.
I got more chins than a chinese phonebook
I haven’t seen my dick in 2 years, I got more chins than a Chineese phone book, I eat because I’m unhappy…and I’m unhappy because I eat.
i need a young priest and an old priest. (yells) the power of christ compels you… the power of christ compels you!!! o shit sick as a dog gonna vomit
i shall call him mini me
I shall call him……..Mini Me
I wouldn’t have sex with you even if you were the last man left on earth and we had to do it just for the sake of procreation, I still wouldn’t have sex with you
I’ll Never Fall In Love Again.
I’m a sexy bitch!!!!
I’m bigger than you, I’m higher on the food chain! Get in my belly!
I’m dead sexy, look at my sexy body, yeaaa
I’m dead sexy…You were crap!
I’m gonna go watch a moooovie.
I’v got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey!
I’ve got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey
I’ve got a turtle head pokin out!
I’ve got your hood! I’ve got your hood!
I’ve had bigger chunks of corn in my crap!
If anything should happen to you I don’t know what I would do. I’d probably move on and get another replica but there would be a ten minute period where I would just be inconsolable
im dead sexy
Im late…..
In Like Flint.
it looks like you’ve been beaten with an ugly stick.
It’s a bit nutty!
It’s called a Belgian dip.
Its what we call a LASER
Ivana: Do you know how they keep warm in Russia?
Austin: I can guess, baby.
Ivana: We play chess.
Austin: I guessed wrong.ivhanna humpalot : oooooh! hairy like animal!
Johnson
Machine gun jobblies? How did I miss those baby?
Machine gun Jubblies!? How’d i miss those babay?
mini me stop humping the lazer why dont you and the lazer get a frickin room
mini me, quit humping the laser, oh for god sakes get a freakin room
Mini Me, stop humping the laser! Mini Me- will somebody get him a frickin’ room or something?
Mini Me, stop humping the laser.
Mini Me? Mini Me,where are you? Can someone put a frekin bell on him or something?!
Mini-Me not feeling well? Got an ear infuctions, tits ok, he has to take a pill every half whore. Taken from the delete scenes off of the DVD.
mini-me stop humping the lazer!
Mini-Me you complete me! I love you! (Evil points at mini me) (me me points at himself and mimes ‘me’?) Evil: You.
Mini-Me, stop humping the laser. God, why don’t you and the great big laser get a frickin’ room.
My name’s Ivanna. Ivanna Humpalot.
No, we don’t gnaw on our kitty.
Now, create an interconnected series of tunnels like the Vietcong!
Of course im not happy Im a big fat hairy slob, ive got bigger tittes then you do ive got more chins than a chinese phone book, I aint seen my willie in three years which is long enough to declare a legal deed
Oh aye, baby. The other, other white meat.
Oh Mr. English Sergeant telling me to loose weight! Well listen here! I ate a baby! Oh aye! A baby! The other, other white meat! Baby! It’s what’s for dinner!
Oh my God! Fat Bastard left a floater! In the name of all things sacred,that is the most foul smelling thing ever!
Oh my God. Fat Bastard left a floater.
Oh, I’m gettin’ all emotional.
Ok, thats enough Fat Bastard. As much as I love to see Austin Powers in pain, and I do, the thought of you naked is just gross.
Poor little bugger.
Robin Swallows: You .. can’t .. win .. Powers .. Austin Powers: Why won’t you die???
RRIIGGHTTT OKAY THEN THIS IS A QUOTE FROM THE MOVIE – HEHE RRIGGHHT I KNOW YOU ALL KOW THIS BUT I WANTED TO WRITE THIS ANYWAYS HEHEHEHEHE
LOVES ALWAYS WHITNEYscott, i been a fricken evil doctor for fricken 30 years, cut me some fricken slack
Scott- Yes…I would love some chocolate ass-cream
Scott: If you have a time machine why don’t you go back in time and kill Austin powers while he is on the crapper or somthing!
Dr. Evil: How about… no Scott. Ok?Sexy man, sexy man…eatin’ like a sexy man can…
Shag well by name, shag very well by reputation!
Show me the money. Show me the money. What money? You had me at hello tear. Jerry Maguire won’t come out foranother thirty years. Nobody knows what your talking about ass.
SILENCE! I will not tolerate your insolence!
son-i like animals, maybe i’ll be a vet!
dad-and evil vet?
son-no. maybe like work in a petting zoo.
dad-and *evil* petting zoo?
son-YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!!Sorry I farted
Spectacles, testicales, wallet, and watch!
Spectacles, testicles, wallet, and watch!
talk to the hand cause the face dont want to hear it anymore
TALKING ABOUT HIS CHAIR~ I need an old priest and a young priest~ the power of crist compels you the power of christ compels you
Tear? Nothing?
that really hurt! what kind of idiot throws a shoe i mean honestly!
The 70s and the 80s? I’ve looked into it. There’s a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That’s about it.
The shear mechanice are mind boggling!
This coffee smells like shit! It is shit austin! Its a bit nutty.
This is just regoddamndiculous!
This is ri-goddamn-diculous
Those pants are skin tight, baby. How do you get into them? You could start by buying me a drink.
Try the hot pockets, they’re breathtaking.
Try the hotpockets, they’re breathtaking
Two of my assasins are dead! I will not tolerate failure! I’m the man who will maintain the dignity of this evil organization!
ur a tiger….ur a IIamma
V: do you smoke after sex? A: I dont know I have never looked! BOTH HAHA
We call it the Belgian Dip
We’re in a volcano! Surrounded by liquid hot MAG-MA!
Well i ain’t a baby
well what is it baby? spits or swallows?
What are you? Some kinda FREAAAK?
Whoopdeedoo Basil, what does it all mean?
Why can’t you just die?
Why don’t you call it Operation Wang Chung, ass? Or Operation Bananarama?
Why don’t you just call it Operation Wang Chung,ass?
why make trillions when you can make BILLIONS? – a Trillion is more then a Billion, numb nuts!!!!
Why not just call it operation bananaram!…….. idiot
Why won’t you die?!?!
Will somebody put a freakin bell on him?
will someone put a friken bell on him?!
Woah! It looks like a giant–WANG! Pay attention!
Woppty doo basil, BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??
Would somebody put a frickin’ bell on him or something?
would u like to have a sucle of my zippil
would you like to have a suckle of my zipple
yeah baby yeah!!
Yeah, Baby, Yeah~!
you are the margarine of evil, the diet coke of evil. just one calorie, not evil enough!
You don’t like to talk much? Hm? Yeah, Sleepy Pee Pee.
You gonna cry, you gonna squirt some, huh?
You shut your mouth you bastard!…..Who is fat!
you’re not all that and a bag of potatoe chips!
You’re one groovy baby…baby
Zip it! Zip it! Zip it! www.ZIPIT.com!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me’: Quotes from the movie ‘Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me’