Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.
(1)I don’t like raisins (2)Why?
(1)Theyre humiliated grapes.
(jonhhy aka Sam runs down a hall to doctors in white coats slides on his knees and says) Mommy?
1)Be serious. 2)I am. 1)Really? 2)I’m always serious. I’m TOO serious.
1)Could you please glue your sequant 2) Do we have an internal sequant issure to deal with Benjamin
1)Did you ever see those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff? 2)They scare me. 1)Yeah me too.
1)Did you have to go to school for that? 2)No, I got thrown out of school for that.
1)Did you have to go to school for that? 2) I got kicked out of school for that.
1)He can really cook can’t he? 2)Yeah, although for grilled cheese, I might use the wool setting. 1)That’s what I told him. 2)Really? What did he use? 1)Rayon. Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have burned it. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.
1)Its a shame about raisins. 2)Cannibals. 1)Yeah.
1)Maybe I should invite him back in. 2)Yeah, before someone sticks a stamp on his head and mails him to Guam.
1)What did you do to my hubcaps? 2)I… don’t know.
1)You don’t like raisins? 2)Not really. 1)Why? 2)They used to be fat and juicy. And now they’re twisted. They had their life stolen. Well, they used to taste sweet but really they’re just humiliated grapes.
Aside from being a little mentally ill, she seems pretty normal to me.
Benny: Hi, I’m Benny.
Sam: With an ‘N’?
Benny: Yeah, two of them…
Sam: ah…
Benny: And this is Joon
Sam: with an ‘N’?
Joon: one…
Sam:gotcha
Benny: So why’d you leave?
Ruthie: L.A.? I wasn’t that good of an actress.
Benny: Well, that’s not how Sam tells it. He’s raving about you.
Ruthie: Yeah, well, he’s sweeter than he is judgmental. How long have you known him?
Benny: Sam? Uh, 72 hours.
Ruthie: Be serious.
Benny: I am.
Ruthie: Really?
Benny: I’m always serious. I’m too serious.
Benny: You can’t bet a human being!
Benny:I hope you’re happy.Ihope you are happy with what you have done.
[slams Sam against wall]Stay away from my sister.You hear me? STAY AWAY FROM HER!!! Sam:No…No… Benny:You wanna know why everyone laughs at you?Cause’ your an idiot.A first class MORON!
Sam:[put down by Benny]You’re scared…Benny.
Benny:I’m WHAT?!? [Sam shakes his head] You’re scared. I can see it.
You know what,Benny?[avoiding to look at him] I used to look up to you.Now I can’t even look AT you. [walks out of hospital.]
Benny:Mrs.Smail said you abandoned the house.Did you leave the house alone?
Joon:Define ‘alone’…
Benny:You know full-well what I’m talking about.Listen I can’t be at work worried wether or not your knocking another house-keeper into retirement.First there was Ms.Larksburg.
Joon: A woman deeply and hygennically disturbed.
[Benny giving wierd look] Her hair smelt.
Benny:Then there was Mrs.Piltz…
Joon: Pitlz? The answers’ in the question. Let’s face it, Benjamin, hiring house-keepers is not your forte’.
cindy your sick cindy you need help cindy no no nnoooo no no no
Don’t under-estimate the metally ill; we know how to count.
Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?
Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?
Hey, Benny! Thanks for the couch. Mike made me sleep under the sink.
I didn’t know I could wright like that
I didn’t mean to kick him out. I mean, I didn’t kick him how, he just-he just left.
In Ireland, they have a saying: When a boat runs ashore, the sea has spoken.
It’s a shame about raisens.
Joon, I love you
Me too.
Joon: Did you have to go to school for that?
Sam: No, no, I got thrown out of school for that.
Joon: Have we an internal sequin issue to deal with, Benjamin?
Joon: Having a Boo Radley moment, are we?
Joon: He can really cook, can’t he?
Benny: Yeah, although for grilled cheese, I might use the wool setting.
Joon: That’s what I told him.
Benny: Really? What did he use?
Joon: Rayon. Silk would have been too soggy. Cotton would have…
Benny: Would have burned it.
Joon: Right. Fortunately, he consulted me before giving it steam. I was four square against it.
Joon: She was given to fits of semi-precious metaphors.
Benny: She’s a housekeeper, Joon, not an English professor
Joon: Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese.
Joon: What?
Sam: Kirk Douglas… Van Gogh… ear…
Joon: Oh.
Joon: You can’t throw him out, I won him
Joon: You’re out of your tree.
Sam: It’s not my tree.
Joon:I ran an errand! Benny:You did? (Joon shows him the bag of fish) Joon: They’re both names Steven..one with a v and one with a ph
No, Cindy…you’re sick!
Oh, they taste sweet. But really, they’re just humiliated grapes.
Ruthie, do you have any avocados?
RUTHIE-hey pal I’m trying to work here if you don’t mind!
SAM-oh my god. I just been looking for my boyfriend. Have you seen him? He’s a cute guy with a little mole on his right cheek.
GUY-Hey Ruthy, one of your ghosts come back to haunt ya?
SAM-Ohhhhhhoooh! Oh brad! Oh Brad! Brad, please don’t be dead. Brad, i never go the chance to tell you, how much you meant to me. Oh Brad PLEASE!…….It’s you, your you, Ruthie Melon, a coststar of the prom queen mutilator with Dick Beebee.
RUTHIE-You saw that?
SAM-He was mine! He was mine! No Cindy you’re sick. Cindy you need help! No Cindy! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! ((while yelling this Johnny Depp aka sam is stabing self in the heart with an imaginary knife))
Salad Shoooooter!
Sam: How sick is she?
Benny: Oh, she’s plenty sick.
Sam: Oh. Because you know, it seems to me that, aside from being a little mentally ill, she’s pretty normal.
Sam: Joon. I, I love you.
Joon: Me too.
[door opens]
Joon: [getting up] Don’t tell Benny.
Sam: Okay.
Sam: Mommy!
Sam: Mommy?
Sam: Thanks for the couch. Um… Mike made me sleep under the sink.
sam: u dont like raisons? joon: not realy. sam: why? Joon: they used to be fat and juicy, but now there shriveled and twisted. Like they had their life stolen.I guess Im not a big supporter of the raison council. Sam: Did u see those raisons on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff. Joon: they scare me. sam: yeah me 2. joon: its sick how they make them sing and dance so that people will eat them. sam: its a shame about raisons. joon: canibals. sam: yeah! do u like avacodoes? joon: they r a fruit you know. sam: ruthy? do u have any avacadoes?
Sam: Why don’t you like raisins?
Joon: Well, they taste sweet, but really they’re just humiliated grapes.
Sam: You don’t like raisins?
Joon: Not really.
Sam: Why?
Joon: They used to be fat and juicy and now they’re twisted. They had their lives stolen. Well, they taste sweet, but really they’re just humiliated grapes. I can’t say I am a big supporter of the raisin council.
Sam: Did you see those, those raisins on TV? The ones that sing and dance and stuff?
Joon: They scare me.
Sam: Yeah me too
Joon: It’s sick. The commercial people they make them sing and dance so people will eat them.
Sam: It’s a shame about raisins.
Joon: Cannibals.
Sam: Yeah. Do you like avocados?
Joon: They’re a fruit you know.
Sam: Ruthie, do you got any avocados?
she paints, she reads, she sets things on fire.
Silk is too soggy. Cotton would burn in. Rayon is just right.
Soap on a rope…slightly used!
They used to be fat and juicy, now they’re twisted. They had their life stolen.
They’re both named Steven–one with a V and one with a ph
They’re both names ‘Steven’…one with a ‘v’ and one with a ‘ph’
with an n?
you can’t kick him out, I won him
You’re out of your tree . . . It’s not my tree!
You’re out of your tree…
[Benny is at his garage and the phone rings.]
Waldo: HEY, BENNY, JOON’S ON THE PHONE AGAIN!
Benny: Well tell her I’ll call her back; find out what she wants.
Waldo: It’s an emergency; she says you’re runnin’ low on Peanut Butter Super Chunks.
Benny: Emergency!
[Benny, Mike, Thomas and fellow technician are playing poker.]
Mike: I got a solution to your housekeeper problem: you can have my roommate.
Joon: Oh… that’s a teriffic offer, Benjamin. Save you from the wretched chores of ”Smail shopping.” Those places are such drudgery, arent they? ”Montgomery Smails,” ”Smails & Roebuck,” ”Smails-R-Us”–
Benny: JOON!
[Joon, Mike & Thomas have played poker with weird stakes.]
Mike: Hey, man, rules are rules! Without ’em there’s no order in the universe!
Benny: Oh, don’t you give me that crap! You took advantage!
Joon: …of your sick sister. A heart flush is a perfectly respectable hand.
Mike: Not respectable enough!
Benny: HEY, SHUT UP, MIKE! I am not takin’ this guy home!
Mike: Ya have to, man! Remember the bet I lost where I had to replate your socket set? I didn’t back out, did I?
Benny: YOU CAN’T BET A HUMAN BEING!!!!
[while playing cards]
Eric: Salad shooter!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Benny and Joon’: Quotes from the movie ‘Benny and Joon’