#1 How often do the trains go by? #2 So often you won’t even notice.
#1 What are we doing here? #2 You said you’d visit the penguin when you got out #1 Okay so I lied #2 You can’t lie to a nun we gotta go in there and visit the penguin! #1 No FUCKING WAY!
#1- Are you the police? #2- No ma’am, we’re musicians.
#1-Ma’am would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we’re asking Matt here to do is a holy thing? #2-You see we’re on a mission from God. #3-Don’t you blaspheme in here, don’t you blaspheme in here.
(1) I’ll bet those cops have got SCMODS. (2) What? (1)State, County, Municipal Offender Data System.
(1) Shit. (2) What? (1) Rollers. (2) NO! (1) Yeap. (2) Shit!
(1)Goddamn it! I haven’t been pulled over in six months! I bet those cops have got SCMODS.
(2)SCMODS?
(1)State County Municipal Offender Data System.
(1)I took the liberty of bullshitting you. (2)You lied to me. (1)It wasn’t lies, it was just bullshit.
(Elwood) I took the liberty of bullshitting you. (Jake)You lied to me. (Elwood)It wasn’t lies, it was just bullshit.
(J)Where’s the Caddy – The Bluesmobile? (E)I traded it. (J)You traded the Bluesmobile for this? (E)No, for a microphone.
(Jake)I guess you’re really up shit creek then (WHACK!) (nun) what did you say (Jake) well you said you needed money (nun) yeah (Jake) and we offered to help (nun) yeah (Jake) but you refused (nun) yeah (Jake) so i said you’re really up shit creek (WHACK!) (Elwood) jesus christ Jake (WHACK!)
–Oh, no. The motor, it’s thrown a rod.
–Is that serious?
–Yup.
…And here is your receipt.
…Rollin, rollin, rollin, Raw Hide!!!….
1) How much for the little girl? The women, how much for the women? 2) What?
1) Your women, I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your childrens!
1) I’ll have four fried chickens and a coke. 2) And some dry white toast.
1) Shit 2) What? 1) Rollers 2) No 1) Yeah 2) Shit
1) This car has got alot of pick up. 2)It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tyres, cop suspension, cop shocks. It’s a model made before Cadalitic Convertors, so it will run good on regular gas. What do you say is it the new B**** Mobil or what?
(Pause) 2) Fix the cigerette lighter.
1) You don’t like it?
2) No I don’t like it. Of course it’s got a lot of pickup.
1) It’s got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Blues Mobile or what?
2) Fix the cigarette lighter.
1)Do you have any white bread? 2)Yeah 1)I’ll have some toasted white bread 2)Do you want butter or jam on that toast honey? 1)No ma’am Dry. 3)you got any fried chicken? 2)Best damn chicken in the State. 3)I’ll have 4 fried chickens and a coke. 2)Do you want chicken wings or chicken legs? 3)4 Fried chickens and a Coke 1)And Some dry white toast. 2)Do you want a drink? 1)No 3) A Coke.
1)Its 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarretes, it’s dark and we’re wearing shades. 2)Hit It!
1)shit 2)what 1)rollers 2)no 1)yes 2)shit
1. Shit 2. What? 1. Rollers 2. No 1. Yeah 2. Shit
106 miles to chicago we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses. man 2: hit it
1: What kind of music do you usually have here?
2: Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western
1:Are you the Police? 2:No we’re musician’s
1:Baby clothes 2:this place has got everything
1:Curtis I dont wanna listen to no jive ass preacher talking about heaven and hell 2:Jake you get wise you go to church
1:Forget it 5000$ no problem will have it for you in the morning let’s go Elwood! 2:no no I wont take your filthy stolen money 1:I guess your really up shit creek
1:What do you say is it the new Bluesmobile or what?…………..2:fix the cigarit lighter
1:You don’t like it? 2:No I don’t like it…………………….cars got a lotta pickup.
1:You got us into this parking lot pal now you get us out 2:You want out of this parking lot….OK
2000 Thousand bucks for this chunk of Shit!!!! Come on Ray.
And tonight…is ladies night, at the Palace Hotel Ballroom
Are you the police? No, ma’am, we’re musicians.
Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.
Boys, you gotta learn not to talk to nuns that way!
Buy you boys a drink?
Can I help you boys? Got any fried chicken? Best damn chicken in the state! I’ll have four fried chickens and a coke. You want chicken wing or chicken kegs? No, four fried chickens…and a coke. And what you want? Got any white bread? Mmmm mmm. I’d like some toasted white bread please. You want butter or jam with that toast? No m’amm. Anything to drink? No m’aam, a coke.
Chickenwire?
Christ Jake, you cant talk to nuns that way.
CURTIS: Boys, you got to learn not to talk to nuns that way.
Did ya get my cheeze whiz boy
don’t you say a fuckin’ word
ELWOOD: I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
JAKE: 1060 West Addison? That’s Wrigley Field.
Elwood: WHO IS THAT GIRL!?!
Elwood:…so is it the new bluesmobile or what? Jake:fix the cigarette lighter.
Elwood:We’re 105 miles from Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out and we’re wearing sunglasses. Jake: Hit it.
Five years! I thought it was five years!
Give us a bottle of your finest champagne, five shrimp cocktails and some bread for my brother.
God Damn Boy!
Hey Jake! There’s gotta’ be at least seven dollars worth of change here!
How much for the little girl?
HUT!! HUT!! HUT!! HUT!! HUT!! HUT!!
I bet you they have SCMADS – State County Municiple Affender Data System
I hate Illinois Nazis!
I offered to help. You said you didn’t need our help. Then I said, ‘Well then, I guess you’re really up shit creek.’
I picked it up at the Mount Prospect City Police auction last spring.
It’s an old Mount Prospect Police Car.
I ran out of gas. I got a flat tire. I..uh..didn’t have change for cab fare. I left my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake . . .a terrible flood! IT WASN’T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOD!!!
I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! It wasn’t my fault, I swear to god!
I’ll Have n Orange Whip. Orange Whip? Orange Whip? 3 Orange Whips.
I’ve always loved you
Iam going to catch that sucka if it’s the last thing I ever do
If you don’t play, we will come back here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner…EVERYDAY.
If you don’t say yes we’re gonna come here everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis.
It wasn’t lies…it was just…bullshit.
It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas and a half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.
It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses
It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of
gas, a half a pack of smokes, it’s dark, and we’re
wering sunglasses. Hit it.
It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses!………………..HIT IT!!!
It’s 106 miles to Chicago. We’ve got a half a tank of gas, half a pack of cigerettes, it’s dark out and we’re wearing sun glasses.
It’s got a cop motor, a four-forty cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It’s a model made before the catalytic converter so it’ll run good on regular gas.
It’s got a cop motor: a 440 cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It’s a model made before catalytic converters so it’ll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is this the new (?)mobile, or what?
it’s the fuckin’ nazzi party
It’s true. We had a sound so powerful, you could turn goat piss into gasoline.
Its a 106 miles to Chicago. We’ve got full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, its dark and we’re wearing sunglasses…Hit it!
Its pretty hard to eat corn on the cob with no fuckin teeth!
Jake! Elwood!
JAKE: If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast, lunch, and dinner…every day of the week.
jake: WHO IS THAT GIRL!?!
Jesus H. Tapdancing Crist!!!
MAN 1- It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses…..MAN 2- HIT IT
Move over goddamn it
Mr Man.. Mr Man
Mr. Blues is going to fuck up. And when he does, he better pray the police get to him before we do
New Oldsmobiles are in early this year….
New Oldsmobiles are out early this year
No fucking way!!!
No problem will have that money by tommorw…
-Jake Blues
OK so I owe you guys 300 dollars and you boys drank 500 dollars worth of beer………………Well the bar lady never charged us after the first round so we thought that beer was complimentary, you know, for the band?????
One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One solied.
One Timex watch, broken. One unused prophylactic…one soiled.
Orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.
Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.
orange whip? orange whip? three orange whips.
Our Lady Of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now!
Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don’t fail me now.
Pursuit has left the interstate;proceeding on the el
Shit! What’s one more ol’ nigger to the board of education?
Shit. What? Rollers. No. Yeah. Shit.
So Jake, you’re out, you’re free, you’re rehabilitated, what’s next? What’s new? You got the money you owe us, MOTHER FUCKER????!!!!!
So Jake, you’re out, you’re free, you’re rehabilitated….. you got the money you owe us motherfucker?
talk to bob
Th light was yellow, sir.
That ain’t no Hank Williams song…
the Blues Brothers???!! Shit-they still owe you money fool!
The light was yellow, sir.
there not going to catch us we’re on a mission from god
These aren’t the kind of guys that write letters!
This is definitely lower Wacker Drive.
This is glue. Strong stuff.
Try not to be so negative all the time. Why don’t you offer some constructive criticism?
Try not to be so negative all the time.Why don’t you offer some constructive criticsm?
Two thousand bucks for this chunk of shit!!!! Come on Ray.
Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers has been approved.
wake up sucker we’re thieves & we’re bad guys & thats all we are
WAKE UP! (yeah) WAKE UP! Don’t be lost when your time comes! (NO!). Don’t be LOST when your time comes! (NO!) Because the Day of the Lord cometh, as a thief in the night!
We are in high speed pursuit, northbound on Courtland Avenue. 1974 Black and White Dodge Sudan with Illinios plate. Request Assistance.
We got both kinds, Country and Western.
We got two honkies out there look like a seedy diamond merchant or something. Say what? They look like the’re from the CIA or somethin’. What they want to eat? The tall one wants white bread, toatsted, dry with nothin’ on it, and the other one wants four whole fried chickens and coke. Shit! The Blues Brothers!
We had a band powerfull enough to turn goat piss into gasolean.
we’re 106 miles from chicago, a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarretes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses!!
We’re getting the band back together!
We’re on a mission from god
We’re on a mission from God.
We’re the good ole blues brothers boys band from chicago
We’ve got both kinds, Country and Western.
Well go on Damnit!!
Well if the shit fits where it. Move over goddamit
Well, thank YOU, pal. The day I get out of prison, my own BROTHER, picks me up in a POLICE CAR!
Were on a mission from God.
What kind of music do you listen to here? Oh, we like both kinds, country and western!
What kind of music do you listen to here? Oh, we like both kinds, country and western!
What’s this? What? This car, this stupid car. Where’s the Cadillac? Huh? The Caddy, where’s the Caddy? What? The Cadillac we used to have, the _____ ______? I traded it. You traded the _____ ______ for this? No, for a microphone. Okay, I can see that. But what the Hell is this? This was a bargain. I picked it up at the Mount Prospect city police auction last spring. It’s an old Mount Prospect police car. They were practically givin’ ’em away. Thank you pal. The day I get out of prison, my own brother picks me up in a police car. You don’t like it? No, I don’t like it. (driver floors gas pedal and jumps opening bridge) Car’s got a lotta pick up. It’s got a cop motor, a four hundred-forty cubic inch plant. It’s got cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. It’s a model made before the catalytic converter so it’ll run good on regular gas. Whattaya say, is it the new _____ ______ or what? Fix the cigarette lighter.
When i woke up this morning i heard a disturbing sound. I said when i woke up this morning i heard a disturbing sound! The sound was a Jingle Jangle of a Thousand Lost Souls!
Who wants an Orange Whip?
Woman – We got two honkey’s out there dressed like hassedic Diamond Merchants. Man – Say what? Woman – They look like they’re from the CIA or somethin’.
Yes yes Jesus H god dancing christ I have seen the light!!!!!!!!!
You can’t lie to a nun…
-Elwood
You get me my Cheez Whiz boy!
You guys are still wearing those focacta suits!
You promised that you would visit the pinguin the day you came out. 2) Well…I lied
You traded the caddy for a MICROPHONE?!? …I can see that.
[ Jake has exited prison and he and Elwood go to visit the nun AKA the penguin, which Jake does not like, they enter, front door closes itself, they go up the stairs ]
Nun: Who is it?
Elwood: Jake and Elwood.
[ Door opens itself, nun is in seat ]
Nun: Hello, boys. Nice to see you. Please… have a seat.
[ Jake and Elwood sit in school seats right by door ]
Nun: No-no, come over here. I want to see your faces.
[ they drag the school desks in front of the nun’s desk ]
Nun: The county took a tax assessment. They want $5,000
Elwood: Doesn’t the church have to pay that?
Nun: They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren’t.
Elwood: What’s gonna happen to you?
Nun: I’ll be sent to the missions.
Jake: FORGET IT! 5 GRAND?! NO PROBLEM! WE’LL HAVE IT FOR YOU IN THE MORNIN’! LET’S GO ELWOOD!
Nun: NO-NO! I will NOT take your FILTHY STOLEN MONEY!
Jake: Well, then… I guess you’re really up [ Swear word ] …Creek.
[ Nun hits Jake on the hand with the ruler for using that kind of language ]
Jake: OWWW!
Nun: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake: I offered to help you…
Nun: Uh-huh.
Jake: …you refused to take out money…
Nun: Uh-huh.
Jake: …then I said… [ Repeats phrase with swear word ]
[ Nun hits Jake again with the ruler for swearing ]
Elwood: [ takes Lord’s name in vein ], Jake, take it easy.
Nun: Elwood! [ Hits Elwood with ruler ]
[ Swearing, taking Lords name in vein, and hitting with the ruler continues, Nun breaks ruler, takes metal staff, Elwood and Jake fall down stairs and break desks ]
Nun: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so har for you. It saddens and hurts me… that the 2 young men whom I raised to believe in the Ten Commandments… have returned to me as 2 thieves… with filthy mouthes… and bad attitudes. Get out! And don’t come back… until you’ve redeemed yourselves. [ Nun puts hands together, slides away, door closes itself ]
[After Jake and Elwood said the complete set of bad words to the Penguin.]
Penguin: You’re such a disappointing pair. I prayed so hard for you. It saddens and hurts me… that the 2 young men whom I raised to believe in the 10 Commandments… have returned to me as 2 thieves… with filthy mouthes… and bad attitudes. Get out! And don’t come back… until you’ve redeemed yourselves.
[Penguin holds hands together, slides away, door closes itself.]
[At the Penguin’s office.]
Jake: FORGET IT!!! $5 GRAND?! NO PROBLEM! WE’LL HAVE IT FOR YOU IN THE MORNIN’! LET’S GO, ELWOOD!
[Jake and Elwood try to get out of their seats.]
Penguin: NO-NO!
[Jake and Elwood sit down again.]
Penguin: I will NOT take your FILTHY STOLEN MONEY!!!!
Jake: Well, then… I guess you’re really up S~~t Creek!
[Penguin hits Jake Blues on the hand with a ruler for using that kind of language.]
Jake: OWWWWW!
Penguin: I beg your pardon, what did you say?
Jake: I offered to help you… you refused to take our money, then I said I guess you’re really up S~~t Creek!
[Penguin hits Jake Blues on the hand with a ruler again.]
Elwood: Christ Jake, take it easy.
[Penguin hits Elwood Blues on the hand with a ruler.]
Jake: F~~k!
[Penguin hits Jake on the hand.]
Elwood: JESUS CHRIST!
[Penguin hits Elwood on the hand.]
Jake: S~~t!
[Penguin hits Jake on the hand.]
Elwood: F~~k!
[Penguin hits Elwood on the hand.]
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Blues Brothers, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Blues Brothers, The’