#1 Hey Saboo, you know how to make a Bullshot? #2 You know how to make a shoe smell! #1 Very funny, your all right. Here, why don’t you get yourself a real haircut.
#1 My uncle says you’ve got a screw loose. #2 Your uncle molests Collies.
#1 Spaulding, get dressed your playing golf today. #2 No I’m not grandpa, I’m playing tennis. #1 Your playing golf and your going to like it! #2 What about my asthma? #1 I’ll give you asthma!
#1 You’re crazy. #2 That’s what they said about Son of Sam.
#1: You take drugs, Danny?
#2: Every day.
#1: Good. What’s the problem?
#2: I don’t know
#1Odd!!!
#2 Odd it is. Your Honor, Your Honor.
(1) so how was it? (2) how was what? (1) so obviously it wasn’t that good.
(1)Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
(2)Correct me if I’m wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they’ll lock me up and throw away the key.
(1)Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents! THE LITTLE BROWN, FURRY THINGS!
(2)We can do that. We don’t even need a reason
(1)I demand satisfaction.
(2)Yeah, well I’ll tell you what’s satisfying: CASH. I’ll shoot you 18 holes for ten thousand bucks.
(1)I could beat you with one good arm.
(2)Well, how about teams, then. I’ll take Ty here, and you can have Dr. Frankenputz.
(3)I beg your pardon.
(4)Judge, Al, I don’t play golf…for money…against people
(1)I like you Betty.
(2)It’s Danny sir.
(1)Danny.
(1)I want you to kill every gopher on the course.
(2)Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
(1)Gophers! You great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!
(2)We can do that. We don’t even have to have a reason.
(DVD-deleted scene) I read somewhere once, I believe it was Shakespeare. He said some are born into greatness, whereas others have it thrust upon them; and then others, others are just great, thats all.
(singing opening credits) I’m alright…. don’t nobody worry ’bout me…. why you gotta gimme a fight?…. why don’t you just let it be?
(singing) It’s easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you’ve got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts aren’t too tight in the seat.
(Ty)na na na na na na na na, fuhnuh nun na,buh buh buh buh buh buh, ta da da da da, na na na et op puh
-Do you know what I just saw? A gopher. Do you know what gophers can do to a golf course?
-Aye, sir. I think they’re tunneling in from that construction site.
-Czervik, huh. Well, I’ll slap an injunction on them so fast it’ll make their head spin.
-I tried to look you up but there wasn’t a listing for Mr. Wonderful.
-What spelling did you use?
-Let me just clean this up here…Getting ready for the season.
-Duck?
-No, dolphin.
-What are you, religious or something?
-You might say that.
-Who’s your decorator? Bennihana?
-No, I brought most of the stuff back with me from Vietnam.
-You were in the war?
-No…Homo!
…friends for life, I think.
…oh and tell the cook this is low-grade dog food, i’ve had better food at the ball game!
…So were on the 18th hole and the Lama’s gonna stiff me! So I say, hey Lama, how bout a little something, you know for the effort. He says, oh there won’t be any money involved; but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total conscienceness. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
…your uncle molests collies.
1) And this is your saliva line. 2)What does it tell? 1) How hot I can get you!
1) How many cokes didya have?
2) I dunno, 4 or 5.
1) What are you a diabetic?
1) I wanna hamburger…no a cheeseburger…i want a hot dog, an milk shake, some potatoe chips. 2) You’ll get nothing and like it!!
1) I’m gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
2) What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
1) I notice you don’t spend too much time there.
2) I’m not sure where they are.
1) I’m no slouch myself.
2) oh, don’t sell yourself short, judge. you’re a tremendous slouch.
1) We have to win this hole.
2) I kinda thought winning wasn’t important.
1) Me winning isn’t, you do.
2) Great grammer.
1) Danny, see your future, be your future. May, make, make it, make it. Make your future Danny. I’m, I’m a veg’, Danny.
1) You take drugs, Danny?
2) Every day.
1) Good. What’s the problem?
2) I don’t know.
1)Here’s an uncashed check for seventy thousand dollars 2) Keep it
1)How about a little something for the you know, effort. He turned around and said, 2)there will be no money exchange. But on your deathbed, you will receive complete conciousness. So I got that going for me. Which is nice.
1)I gotta go to college. I gotta!
2) Ahh, Danny, this isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia, is it?
1)I want you to kill every gopher on the course.
2) Correct me if I’m wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they’re gonna lock me up and throw away the key.
1) Gophers! You great git! Not golfers! The little brown furry rodents!
2) We can do that. We don’t even have to have a reason.
1)Porterhouse! 2) Yes, Judge! 1) Look at the wax build-up on these shoes! I want that scraped off of there, and then I want them creamed, and then buffed with a fine chamois. And I want them NOW! CHOP CHOP! 2) Yessa, Judge! Right away!
1. Yo Wang this is a private club, so don’t tell them that you’re Jewish.
1. You do drugs Danny. 2. Everyday sir. 1. SO what seems to be the problem.
1. You want your driver? 2. No, he’s not my type.
1.100 bucks says you slice it into the woods…
2.Gambling is a legal at bushwood and i NEVER slice
Slice into the woods
1.You can Owe me
2.I OWE YOU NOTHING
1.Be the ball danny. Your not being the ball danny. 2.Well its kinda hard with you talking like that. 1.OK i’m not talking, i’m not talking. be the ball.
1.Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
[looks at #2 who’s wearing the same hat] 1.Oh, it looks good on you, though.
1/ What do you think, son?
2/ I’d play on….. I don’t think the hard stuff’s gunna come down for some time
1/_You’ve got to win this hole!
2/_I kinda thought winning wasn’t important
1/_Me winning isn’t…. You do.
2/_Great grammar…. get a grip, will ya Ty?
1: and, you know, i’m no slouch myself! 2: aw, don’t sell yourself short, judge. you’re a tremendous slouch.
1: i thought you’d be the man to beat this year. 2: well, i guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself.
1: oh, i don’t keep score. 2: well how do you measure yourself against other golfers? 1: height.
1:Hi what can i get you? 2:I’ll have one hot dog, one milkshake… 3: You’ll have nothing, and you’ll like it.
1:What do you have rocks in this thing? 2:What are you kidding me? WHen i was your age, i had to carry 50 pounds of ice up 5 or 6 stories. 1:So? 2:So, let’s dance!
>Really… Are you going to Harvard?
>> No, St. Copias of Northern…
> Where!??
a danish is donut without a hole
A flute with no holes is not a flute, and a donut with no hole is a danish.
A flute with no holes is not a flute. And a donut with no hole is a Danish.
A flute with no holes is not a flute. And, a doughnut with no hole is a Danish.
A Flute with not holes in not a flute,but a donut with no holes is a danish.
A wise man once said–A flute with no holes is not a flute, A donut with no holes is a danish.
ahoy paloy, where did you come from a scotch ad??
Ahoy polloi!
Al Czervik: Hey honey, how would you like to make fourteen bucks … the HARD way?
Alright, who shit in the pool?
And you, pick up that blood!
Are you my pal, Danny?
Bark like a dog!
Be the ball Danny, make it happen!
Be the ball….na,na,na,na,na……..na,na,na,na,na
Big hitter, The Lama.
Bishop: …are you Catholic?
Danny: Yes sir.
Bishop: I’m sorry, then you cant come.
Bless this ship, and all who sail on her. I christen thee ‘The Flying WASP’.
buddies for life.
cannon ball.. CANNON BALL!!!
CANNONBALL it!
Cinderella Story here at Augusta
Cinderella story here…former greenskeeper, about to win the Masters…OH! He got all of that one, he has to be happy with that!
colored boy….while I’ll fix you.(Porterhouse)
come on barke like a dog for me bark like a dog
Czervik Construction Company?
danish
Danny are you my friend?….Danny
DANNY DO YOU DO DRUGS? YES. GOOD.
Danny Noonan: I’m gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty Webb: What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny Noonan: I notice you don’t spend too much time there.
Ty Webb: I’m not sure where they are.
Danny saw me naked!
danny- did you ever wonder what you wanted to be when you grow up.ty- no why.danny- i didnt think you’d understand.ty-do you do drugs danny.danny everyday.ty- good good.
Darling, hand me my loofa brush
Noonan: hmmmff, cough, gravle
DeNunzio: I aint paying no 50 Cents for no coke. Noonan: Well, then you no getta no coke!
Do you smoke?
Do you stand for goodness or badness?
Do you want your driver sir?
No, he’s not my type!
Don’t sell your self short judge. You’re a tremendous slouch.
Don’t sell yourself short Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.
Don’t you people have homes?
Don’t you people have jobs?
Doody!!
DOODY!!!
Double Turds!!
DUTY!!
Elehue……come loofa my stretch marks!
Elihu, will you come loofah my stretch marks?
Ellejugh, be a dear and come loofa my stretch marks
Farts!!! Double Farts!!!
Female: My uncle says you have a screw loose; Male: Your uncle molests collies!
five bucks he picks his nose ten bucks he eats it
Fore… Hey, I should of yelled two
FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!
Freeze gopher
Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice….. DAMN!!!!!
Gambling is illegal at Bushwood, sir. And I never slice.
God I admire you
Great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts.
He called me a baboon. He thinks I’m his wife!
He said on my death bed I would achieve total conciousness, so I’ve got that going for me, which nice.
He tried To choke me! You saw it! Al: Yeah, right he called me a baboon and thinks i’m his wife!
He was caught night putting. You know putting at night, with the 15 year old daughter of the dean.
He was gonna stiff me so I say hey Lama how about a little something you know for the effort and he goes there will be no money, but on your death bed you will receive total conscienceness. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
He’s not a member Grandma. He’s a Caddy.
He’s on his final hole. He’s about 455 yards away, he’s gonna hit about a 2 iron I think
Hello Mr. Gopher. Yeah it’s me, just a squirrel. Just a squirrel, not a plastic explosive, nothing to be worried about.
Here at the golf course the cowd is on there feet for the last whole of the championship.
The first shot he’s about 480yds. away he’s gonna pull out about a 2 iron. O fokes wat a shot he really got all of that one folks and the crowd is going wild.
the second shot on this par 5 is about 320 yds away he’s gonna use about a 5 iron. OOOOO folks he really clubed that one its a beautiful shot.
The third shot he’s gonna take out about an 8iron. He smacked it waut…… wait……. IT’S IN THE WHOLE
OH YES IT’S IN THE WHOLE
Here you are kid. Park my car, get my bags, and … put on some weight will you.
Hey doll, Can you scare up another round for our table over here, and tell the cook this is low grade dog food.
Hey everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!
Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!
hey fifty buck says the spaulding kid picks his nose. 2)ok ok i’ll take that bet. 1) go for it kid do it do it!!……Yeah i won ok fellas pay up to the man. 2) hey another fifty says he eats it. 1) alright i’ll take that bet, dont do it kid dont eat it………naaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww man that kid will eat anything!!
Hey Moose, Rocco, help the judge find his wallet
Hey Moose, Rocko, help the Judge find his checkbook
Hey nice hat, I bet if you buy this you get a free bowl of soup! it looks good on you though.
Hey Shmells, 100 bucks ya slice in the woods. Gambling’s illegal at Bushwood sir and I never slice. DAMN!!! oK you can owe me. I owe you nothin!
Hey Smails…..thousand dollars you miss that putt.
Hey Wang
Hey Wang what’s with the pictures? It’s only a parking lot!
hey want some fries with that shake?
Hey whitey! Where’s your hat?!
Hey you want to earn $14 dollars the hard way…. Whoa I bet you where something before electricity….
Hey! That kangaroo stole my ball!!
Hey! You scratched my anchor!
Hey! You scratched my anchor!!
Hey, 10 bucks says the Smail kid picks his nose….
Double or nothin says he eats it
Hey, Cary Grant, you want to get high?
Hey, did somebody step on a duck?
Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dogfood. I’ve had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.
Hey, everybody! We’re all gonna get laid!
Hey, everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!
Hey, here’s a check for $70,000.
Keep it.
Here’s a summons for court.
It’s yours.
Hey, how ’bout a Fresca?
Hey, I could get better food than this at the ballgame, you know?
Hey, orange balls! I’ll have a box of those, gimmie a box of those naked lady tees, gimmie 2 of those, gimmie 6 of those. Oh, this is the worst looking hat I ever saw. Well you buy a hat like this I’ll bet you get a free bowl of soup. Huh? Oh, well it looks good on you though.
Hey, you scratched my anchor.
heyyy, mr. golpher its me mr. squirrel iam just poppin in to see ya. (and blow you up)ohh the wires dont worry about those its docters orders……………….
His name was Mitch Cumstein.
How ’bout a nice cool drink, varmints. Scum. Slime. Menace to the golfing industry. Your a disgrace to the varmints. Your one of the lowest members of the food chain, and you’ll probably be replaced by the rat.
How about a Fresca
How about a Fresca?
How much for the little girls
How’d you like to earn 14 bucks the hard way??
hy
i ain’t payin no 50 cents for no coke!!!!AHAHA then u ain’t gettin no coke!
I almost got head from Amelia Earhart
I don’t play golf for money, against people.
What, are you religious or something?
You might say that.
I enjoy skinny skiing, going to bullfights on acid
I enjoy…skinny skiing, going to bullfights on acid…
I enjoy: skinny skiing…going to bullfights on acid….
I got to get into this dude’s pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who’s the gopher’s ally. His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.
I guess we’re playin’ for keeps now. I guess the kidding around is pretty much over, huh?
I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.
I smell varmit poontang
I smell varmit pun-tang, the only thing better than varmit pun-tang is dead varmit pun-tang.
I think it’s time for the ol’ Billy Baroo. This is a BIG one Billy…Eighty..Thousand..Dollars…Billy..Billy..Billy
I think this place is resricted, Wang. So don’t tell them your Jewish. Ok, fine.
I think this place is restricted, Wang, so don’t tell ’em you’re Jewish
I was born to love you,
I was born to lick your face,
I was born to rub you,
But you were born to rub me first.
I was born to love you. I was born to lick your face. I was born to rub you, but you were born to rub me first.
I was born to love you. I was born to lick your face. I was born to rub you. But you were born to rub me first.
I will take a box of those naked lady tees, and this hat, boy that is the worst looking hat I have ever seen, do you get a free bowl of soup when you buy this hat. OHHH, but it looks good on you!!!
I’d keep playing
I’d keep playing. I don’t think the heavy stuff’s gonna come down for quite some time now.
I’ll slack you off, you fuzzy little forigner.
I’ve sent people younger than you to the gas chamber…I felt I owed it to them.
If I’d known i was going to play like this, I would have stayed home and played with Myself!
If you ever, you know, wanna hang out.. Or just get weird with someone…. Buddies for life.
is this your place? ya, what do you think? It’s really awful! Well, I gotta lot of stuff on order.
it looks like a meras…ITS IN THE HOLE!!!
It’s a little harsh.
It’s easy to grin / When your ship comes in / And you’ve got the stock market beat. / But the man worthwhile, / Is the man who can smile, / When his shorts are too tight in the seat.
It’s easy to grin when your ship comes in, and you’ve got the stockmarket beat. But a man worthwhile is a man who can smile; when his pants are to tight in the seat.
It’s easy to grin, when your ship comes in
And you got the stockmarket beat
But a man who’s worthwhile
Is a man who can smile
When his shorts are too tight in the seat
It’s easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man who’s worth while, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat.
It’s easy to grin…when your ship comes in. And you’ve got the stock market beat. But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile, when his shorts aren’t too tight in the seat…Ok Pooky..do the honors
It’s the best man.. I got it from a negro. You’re probably so high already you don’t even know it.
j
Judge: Hey there Frank, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic and the Colored boy who went to heaven?
Bishop Frank: Yeah Judge, thats a doozy (laughs)
Judge: How do you measure yourself with other golfers? Ty: Height
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook in it.
Lemme tell you a little story, I once knew a guy that could’ve been a great golfer, coulda gone pro, all he needed was a little time and some practice, decided to go to college instead, Went for 4 years, did pretty well. The end of his 4 years, it was his last semester, he was kicked out, you know what for? …he was night putting, just ….putting …at night …..with the 15 year old daughter of the dean. You know who that guy was Danny?
No
Take one good guess
Bob Hope!
..hehehehhe….no….no that guy was Mitch Cumstein, my roomate…he’s a good guy….
Let’s go! While we’re young!
Lew raised the price of coke, he’s been losin’ at the track.
Yeah, well I ain’t payin’ no 50 cents for no Coke!
Ooohhhh, you don’t getta no coke then (Noonan then drinks it himself)
licence to kill gopher by the government ofunited nations. man free to kill gophers at will. to kill u must must kno your enemy in this case my enemy is a varmit and a varmit will never quit ever. theyre like the veit con , varmit con. so what u gotta do u gotta fall backwith superior fire power and superior intellegance. and thats how she wrote.
License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will.
License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit – ever. They’re like the Viet Cong – Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that’s all she wrote.
Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man free to kill gophers at will.
Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man free to kill gophers at will.
Look at that one. The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.
Lou: The caddy scholarship is back up for grabs. as you may have already heard bo tag died of athema, he was a good kid and everyone liked him. #2 he was a brown nose lou u hated him. Lou:shut up. Well if u want to get information on it talk to judge smails
Manganese…Most people don’t even know what that is…Chinch Bug…
mmmmmmmiss it. mmmmmmmiss it Noonan!
Mommy, Danny saw me nakkkiddd!
Mommy, Danny saw me nakkkiddd…!!!
Move over Swanson! I’m driving!
Mrs. Crane, I’m looking at you; you wore green so you can hide. I don’t blame you, you’re a tramp… Ooo ooo that was a good one, oh a good one. Mrs. Crane you little monkey woman Little monkey woman…you’re lean, you’re mean and you not too far between either…are ya… how would you like to wrap your spikes around my head…
Music is a viloation of our personal privacy. He’s breaking the law!
Nixon played golf.
No one says that about you; as far as you know
Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents!
Now I know why Tigers eat there young…….
ODD!!!
oh did somebody step on a duck
Oh Mrs. Crane, you’re a little monkey woman. Yeah, you’re lean, mean, and I bet you’re not too far in between are ya.
Oh Mrs. Crane, you’re a little monkey woman. Yeah, you’re lean, mean, and I bet you’re not too far in between are ya. How’d you like to wrap your spikes around my –
oh thats all i need
Oh yes, your the young man who wants to be in the senate.
Oh, is this your wife. Oh, a lovely lady. Hey baby, your all right. You must of been something before electricity, huh?
Oh, man in the boat overboard. You beast, you savage. C’mon bark like a dog for me. Bark like a dog, I will teach you the meaning of the word respect.
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?
Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must’ve been something before electricity.
Pick up that blood!
Play it up girls. I’ve got a salami to hide.
Pool or a pond. Pond would be good for you
putting denny putting at night
Ratfarts!
See your future danny. May,may,may, make it.Make you future danny i’m a i’m a veage.
so how was it? How was what? It must not have been that good then!
so i got that going for me which is nice
so i jump ship in hong kong and i make my way over to tibet and i get on as a loope over there in a course in the himilayas …… a looper?.,,,,,,,,,,,,,, a looper , a caddy ya kno a looper, jock so i tell em im a pro jock and who do u think they give me? the dalai llama himself the twelth son of the llamas the flowing robes the grace, bald striking. so im on the first tee with him and i give him the driver he hauls off and whacks one big hitter long into a ten thousand foot crevice right at the base of this glacier do you know wut the llama says?………..no…………………..gunga alunga gunga alagunga… so we finish 18 and hes gonna stiff me and i say hey llama hey how bout a little somethin for ya know the effort ya know and he says well ohh there wont be any money but when you die on your deathbed you will recieve total conscienceness so i got that goin for me which is nice
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga…gunga — gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know. And he says, Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness. So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one—big hitter, the Lama—long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
so i jump ship in hong kong make my way to tibet and get a job on a course over there in the himilayins as a looper. you know a looper a jock a caddy. so i tell em’ im a pro jock and guess who they give me the dali lama himself 12th son of the lama the flowing robe, the grace, striking. so we’re on the first tee and i hang him the driver and he hauls off and wacks one – big hitter the lama- onto a 1000 foot cliff at the edge of this glacier, and he turns to me and you know what he says? gunga lagunga, gunga unga gunga lagunga. so we finish up 18… and he’s gonna stiff me so i say to him hey… lama… hey how about something you know for the effort you know. and he says to me oh uhh there will be no money, but when you die, on your death bed you will recieve total conscienceness. so i got that going for me, which is nice.
So I jump ship in Hong Kong, and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over there in the Himalayas. (a looper?) A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper,..a jock. So I tell ’em I’m a pro jock and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama himself. The Twelfth son of the Lama; the flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So i’m on the first tee with him, I give him the driver; he hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long…into a ten thousand foot crevasse right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says: (pause) ‘Gunga Galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga.’ So we finish the 18th and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey. How about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So i’ve got THAT going for me. Which is nice.
So I jump ship in Hong Kong, make my way over Tibet and get a job in the Hymmalians as a looper. – Looper? – Yeah, caddy, jock. So I tell them I’m a pro jock, and guess who they give me. The Dahli Llama himself. The 12th son of the Llama, graceful flowing robe, bald, stricking. SO we tee off and big hitter the Llama long. He hits it into this 20,000 foot abyss and the edge of this glacier. He turns to me and he says, ‘Goonga galoongo, goonga galoongo.’ So we finish 18 and he’s about to stiff me. So I say, ‘hey Llama, how about a little something for the effort you know.’ He says, ‘there will be no money, but when you die, on your death bed you will recieve total consciencousness.’ So I got that going for me, which is nice.
So I jumped port in hong kong and made my way over to tibet. I got a job loopin’ over in the himalayas, you know a pro jock. So i get a job loopin’ for none other than the dhali llama himself, the bald head, the flowing robes…striking! So we get up on the first tee and he whacks off about a 10,000 foot crevice down into this glacier, a bit hitter the llama….Long. So he turns to me and says oonga-lagoonga..oonga-googa-lagrunga. So we finish 18 and he starts to walk off…you know tries to stiff me and say hey Dhali!! hey Llama!! How about somethin’ for the effort you know? ….a little moola and says Oh there will be no money but on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness….so I got dat goin for me….which is nice!
So I jumped ship in Hong Kong
So I say, HEY Lama
So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.
So it looks like we’re playing for keeps now.
So we finish the 18th and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
So we finish up the 18, and he’s gonna stiff me. So i say ‘hey, lama, how ’bout a little something, you know, for the effort, ya know.’ And he says, ‘oh there’ll be no money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that going for me. which is nice.
So what?
So, let’s dance.
So, I’ve got that going for me, Which is nice
Some body has to teach them a lesson about morality, and what it’s like to be a decent member of a society!…. OOh! That’s it i guess were playing for keeps.
spalding get your foot off the boat!
Spalding, you’ll have nothing and like it!
Spaulding: This is good sttuff man. I got it from a negro. You’re probably so high already you don’t even know it.
TANKS FOR NOTHING DANNY NOONAN!! TANKS FOR NOTHING!
Tears in his eyes I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He’s got about 195 left. And it looks like he’s got… about an 8 iron. The crowd has gone dead silent, Cinderella story, out of nowhere, former greens keeper now about to become Master’s Champion. It looks like a marac.. It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!
Thank you very little
Thank you very little.
That’s a peach Hon. Oh dolly, I’m hot today.
The crowd is just on its feet here. He’s the Cinderella boy, tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot. He’s got about 195 yard left and it looks like he’s got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent. Cinderella story, out of nowhere, the former greens keeper now about to become the master’s champion. It looks like a mira.. IT’S IN THE HOLE. IT’S IN THE HOLE.
The graveyard is two blocks to the left.
There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen, and all you have to do is get in touch with it. Stop thinking. Let things happen and be the ball.
They say that for Italian this is skilled labor, you know that.
They’re like the vietcong…varmintcong. So what you got to do…you got to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that’s all she wrote.
This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.
This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.
This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You’re probably high already and you don’t even know it.
This is my guest, Mr. Wang. No offense.
This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it. You tell the chef this is low grade Dog Food.
This your grandson huh? Oh, wonderful boy. Nice boy. Yeah, this is a good boy. I’ll tell ya, now I know why tigers eat their young!
This your place, Carl?
Yeah, whatta ya think?
It’s really… awful.
Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know… credit trouble.
Ty, what did you shoot today?
Ty Webb: Oh, Judge, I don’t keep score.
Judge Smails: Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?
Ty Webb: By height.
TY: I like you, Betty.
DANNY: That’s Danny, sir.
TY: Danny.
Ty:In one physical model of the universe the shortest distance between two points is a stright line…in the opposite direction Danny.
Danny:Amazing
Ty:Thank you very little
W-e-l-l!…we’re waiting!
Wanna tie me up with some of your ties, Tie?
Was that your ball I heard ramblin’ through here?
Well the World needs ditch diggers too.
Well, put it in the college fund.
Well, we’re waiting!
Well? We’re waiting!
What an incredible cinderella story, this unknown, comes out of nowhere, to lead the pack, at augusta, he’s on his final hole, he’s about 455 yards away he’s gonna hit about a 2 iron, i think(whack) oh he got all a dat, the crowd is standing on its feet here at augusta, the normally reserved augusta crowd, going wild, for this young cinderella, who’s come out of nowhere, he’s got about, 350 yards left he’s gonna hit about a 5 iron, i’d expect, dont ya think,he’s got a beautiful backswing, (whack) dats, oh he got all a dat one!,he’s gotta be pleased with that, the crowd is just on its feet here, he’s a cinderella boy, uh, tears in his eyes, i guess, as he, as he lines up this last shot, he’s got about 195 yards left and he’s gonna, looks like he’s got about a 8 iron, this crowd has gone deadly silent, cinderella story, out of nowhere, a former greenskeeper now about to become the masters champion, looks like a mirac, ITS IN DA HOLE! its in da hole…..
What an incredible story… This unknown comes out of nowhere to lead the pack – at Augusta. He’s on his final hole. He’s about 455 yards away – he’s going to hit about a 2-iron, I think. Oh, he got all of that – the crowd is standing on its feet here at Augusta. The normally reserved Augusta crowd – going wild – for this young cinderella, who’s come out of nowhere. He’s got about 350 yards left – he’s going to hit about a 5-iron it looks like – don’t you think? He’s got a beautiful backswing… That’s, oh, he got all of that one! He’s got to be pleased with that. The crowd is just on its feet here. He’s the cinderella boy – tears in his eyes I guess as he lines up this last shot… He’s got about 195 yards left and it looks as if he’s got about an 8-iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent, cinderella story, out of nowhere, a former greenskeeper and now – about to become the Masters champion… It looks like a mirac – its in the hole!!!
What are we running, a restaurant?
What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape. How come
you’re here?
what does that sign say?….no bare feet……what’s that sign say?…..no fighting
What’s that candy wrapper doing there? Well don’t you see it? Well PICK IT UP!!
Whoa, this is the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen! Do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat? Oh, it looks good on you though. Whew!
would you loofa my stretch marks?
Y’know, Judge…my dad never liked you.
Ya fuzzy little foreigner!!
Yeah, you’re alright, wanna make fourteen dollars the hard way?
Yo Wang, its a parking lot, what’s with the pictures?
You can have Doctor Frankenputz here and I’ll take Ty.
A lot you fucking know….Danunzio.
you don’t have to go to college danny….this isn’t russia, is this russia, this isn’t russia
You know Danny, I’ve sent quite a few boys your age to the gas chamber, I didn’t want to do it, I felt I owed it to them.
You know I invented my own grass too and the amazing stuff about this is you can play 36 holes on it, then you can take some home and get stoned out of the bejesus with it.
You know I’ve often thought of becoming a golf club.
You know, I’ve often dreamt of becoming a golf club.
You know, they say for Italians this is skilled labor. You know that.
You look like you came out of a scotch ad.
You Never ask a Navy man if he’ll have another drink, because it’s nobodys god damn business how many drinks he’s had already, right!
You want to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?
you will get nothing and like it!
You’ll get nothing and like it!
You’re a good egg, Noonan.
You’re a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
You’re not, you’re not good, Al. You stink.
You’re rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body
You’re rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.
You, pick up that blood!
Your a funny kid, you know. Yeah, what time are you do back in Boy’s Town?!
Your a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?
Your over there on Briar Right? Yeah 12 Briar. You got a pool up there? uh..yeah..a pool and a pond…..the pond would be good for you.
Your Uncle molests collies.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Caddyshack’: Quotes from the movie ‘Caddyshack’