Movie Quotes from Death to Smoochy: Quotes from the movie Death to Smoochy

#1: Are you okay?
#2: Well, you know, I’m pretty fucked up in general so its kinda hard to gage.

(At cousin’s funeral) It’s a shame this happened. Ok boys, let’s go pray and get shitfaced.

(Bashing in television) Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Mupppet from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker!

(Holding Penis Shaped Cookie) It’s a…. umm… uh… It’s a ROCKET SHIP!!!!!!!

(Randolph calling Sheldon)You better grow eyes in the back of your head, you horned piece of shit, because I’m not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I’m goin’ on safari motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I![rhino noise]

(Sheldon):I’ll be in my office, the big one with a view!
(Nora): They all have views, you dumb shit!
(Sheldon): Not looking this way, cupcake!

(Sheldon):So you see, kids, a stepfather is just like a new puppy. He needs love and care. Remember though, if your stepdad is EVER abusive towards YOU or MOMMY, what’s the magic numbers?
(Kids): 9-1-1!
(Sheldon): Thaaaaaaat’s right!

(singing and playing acoustic guitar) . . .We’ll get that monkey right off of your back, and we’ll get you of that smack oh yes we will. Cause that smack can lead to crack, oh yes it can. (stops singing) Carl, you know what I’m talking about…

(Spray painted on Wall) SMOOCHY IS A NAZI

(Talking about the penis cookie)What are you, blind? It’s a cock! It’s not a rocket, you sick fuck! It’s a cock! Look. It’s a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It’s a big stiffy! It’s a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don’t you see that? It’s Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It’s made from dil-dough.

(Whispering) Get my cookie… Get my cookie… hehehehehe

1) Are you ok? 2) I’m pretty fucked up in general so it’s kind of hard to gage.

1- I thought you cleaned up!?

2- yeah, I cleaned up half of the poppies in Asia!

1: If you need me, I’ll be in my office. It’s the big one with the view.
2: All of them have a view, a**hole!
1: Not looking this way, cupcakes!

::While Smoochy is singing about the healthy cookies, Rainbow Randolph waits back stage waiting for the Penis cookie to be pulled out.:: ::Soochy sings:: They have milk and juice for an energy boost! Rainbow Randolph- Whatever that means you fucking peasant..

::While Smoochy is singing about the healthy cookies, Rainbow Randolph waits back stage waiting from the Penis cookie to be pulled out.:: ::Soochy sings:: They have milk and juice for an energy boost! Rainbow Randolph- Whatever that means you fucking peasant..

Squeaky fucking clean!

Allow me to untangle this web of shit. Smoochy the Rhino is the real deal, I don’t care if his last job was juggling apples for a hut full of pigmies on the outskirts of the Congo. This man fits the bill.

Are you ok?
I don’t know, I am kinda fucked up in general so it is hard to gauge.

Bite me Buddah!

Captain Kangaroo, like Jesus Christ, was someone you could really believe in. With those guys it wasn’t about the bells and whistles and the rickety rackety, it was all about the work. Especially Jesus.

Come on boys, let’s go pray and get shit-faced.

Cop: Are you ok?
Randolph: I’m pretty fucked up all the time so it’s hard to gauge.

Don’t do what I did. Keep your dignity….Ah! My balls! They’re on fire!

everyone wants a piece of my ass. im like a toaster oven at macy’s, RANDOLPHS ASS ISLE 3!

Friends come in all sizes, take it from meeeee….

Friends come in all sizes, that’s a fact it’s true. All the colors of the Rainbow, from mauve to blue.

He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June.

He’s a bottle of pancake syrup with legs!

hello, little nipple nibbler! the rhino’s a nazi!!!

I’m a little fucked up right now, so hits kinda hard to gauge.

I’m goin safari motherfucker…Safari!!!

I’m not mentally unbalanced. I’m on the same dosage I was always on.

I’m Rainbow FUCKING Randolph

I’M RAINBOW FUCKING RANDOLPH.I know the way out.

I’M RAINBOW-FUCKING-RANDOLPH!!!!!

I’ve never owned a gun; I don’t believe in them. When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railway worker.

It’s small, but it’s fierce!!!!!

Its the rhino..the Devil sent him to destroy me!

Man someone throw me a beach towel, cause my head is swimmin

My name isnt Wandolph its Randolph.shes a fuckin liar shes been down on everythin except the titanic. (someone said u were crazy) who the fuck said that who said that. (my client is havin a psycho depression) some1 touched my ass (throws an egg) omg i’ve been shot i’m bleedin someone grabbed my ass

My stepdad’s not mean he’s just adjusting…

No, You know, yeah.

Now young Moses, I am your Pharoh… and YOU are my slave

Rainbow Randolph is the king yes oh yes he is. Rainbow Randolph is the king yes oh yes he is. Wit a laugh laugh hea and a sing sing there hea a laugh there a sing everywhere is fun fun. Rainbow Randolph is the king…. lalalalala.

Right there I had a big picture of a naked woman with a little plant for a little bush, not a picture of your f*cking mother.

She’s Right Shel you have to keep you dignity in tact… OWWW, my BALLS!!! They’re on FIRE!!!

Sheldon: I’ll be in my office! It’s the big one with the view!
Nora: They all have views, you dumb shit!
Sheldon: Not looking this way, cupcake!

Sheldon: Norah, how could you do it with Wally the Whale? Randolph: Thar she blows!

Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped Cookie made by Randolph.
Randolph: What are you, blind? It’s a cock! It’s not a rocket, you sick fuck! It’s a cock! Look. It’s a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It’s a big stiffy! It’s a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don’t you see that? It’s Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It’s made from dil-dough.

Smoochy is the face of EVIL!!!

Someone hand me a beach towel,my head is swimming.

the fire… it’s driving me MAD!!!!

the krinkle kids are ten feet under…with you

The Rhino is a Nazi..

Theres lotta kids and a lotta junkies counting on me out there….

Well big junkies come from little junkies…we gotta nip this thing in the bud…

Well, wasn’t that fun…in an akward sort of way.

What are you, blind? It’s a cock! It’s not a rocket, you sick fuck! It’s a cock! Look. It’s a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It’s a big stiffy! It’s a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don’t you see that? It’s Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It’s made from dil-dough.

What the fuck are you doing? You can’t Do that! Do you know who I am? I’m Rainbow Fucking Randal!!! I AM RAINBOW FUCKING RANDAL!!!!!!!!

When I was young and my brother and I played cowboys and indians, I was always the chinese railroad-worker.

when my brother and i played cops and robbers, i was always the Chinese railroad worker!

When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.

You can’t change the world, but you can make a dent.

You can’t mess with the parade of hope. They’re the roughest of all the charities!

you dont even see children out there anymore do you? all you see are wallets with pig tails

you know what to do with the hand lotion…you jerk off!

You said kill the rhino,you didn’t specify a color.

You said,you didn’t specify a color.

You’d better grow eyes in the back of your fuckin head you horned piece of shit, because I’m not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubbered ass. I’m going on safari motherfucker…safarrrrrrri..mmmpphhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Death to Smoochy’: Quotes from the movie ‘Death to Smoochy’