1 Do the initials T and J mean anything to you? 2)Turkey Jizz?
1)Have you ever parked your bicycle in an airplane hanger?
2)I’m sorry?
1)Have you ever thrown a toothpick…into a valcano?
2)What?
1)Oh nothing, just making idle chit chat.
1)Hey fishy, fishy, fishy. 2) They don’t like that.
1)I’m a gigolo. 2)Jigga who?
1)I’m her pimp. 2)who? 1)You know, the girl you asspunched.
1)There must be some kind of mistake.
2)Did you say STEAK???
1) No, MIS-take.
2)Oh, see, now you got me all excited.
1)I’m gay.
2)Well how gay are you?
1)Very very gay. You must have called the Very Gay Escort Service.
2)Ah shit you see sometimes my fingers swell up and I can’t hit the numbers properly. They should make a phone for full figured girls.
1)So, what should we do?
2)Oh, cakes and pies, cakes and pies!
1)Which pie has the most sugar?
2)Peach cobbler.
1)Ah, you win again, that’s three games to one!
2)Fast food trivia’s my game baby!
1. Now you give me 500 dollars.
2. No, you give me…. my 10 dollars.
1. That will be $11.50. 2. No, perhaps you misunderstood. I wish to cancel my order for the martini and order just the cranberry juice. And I’m sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused you. 1. No, perhaps you misunderstood. Either you pay me right now, or I’m going to take this swizzle stick, and I’ll be shoving that up your pee hole. 2. So that was $11.50?
1: woman pay me to give them pleasure 2: I’m gonna kill my guidance counselor.
1: Wow! What are those?
2: Medieval weapons. I’m a collector. There worth twice as much if they’ve killed somebody.
1: I collect Canadian quarters…I got about six of em..
Are you kissin’ me?
Are you kissing me?
BALL HAIR! – Thats right, ball hair…what we need is a…strike hair!
Ball Hair!!
BIG BIG TITTIES!
Cakes and pies, cakes and pies
Deuce (responding to Antoine’s boast about being a gigolo): How’d you get that job?!
Antoine: I don’t know, I just sort of fell into it.
Deuce: I’m gonna kill my guidance counselor!
Deuce: I’m not an ungrateful he-bitch!
don’t make me he-bitch man-slap you!!!!!
Don’t make me he-bitch-man-slap you!
dont make this he bitch man slap you
Ducie, your the best he-bitch I got in my man-stable. If I had a few more mangina’s like you I’d be a millionaire.
Duecy, you have a way of pleasuring a woman that would SICKEN a normal man
Even though you have only one leg,
It is the most beautiful leg in the world.
Freak! Keep it in the circus, FREAK!
Get Down Tonight.
God damn it white boy!
HA HA VULVA!
Have a good niple!
Her mouth paid for our honeymoon
Hey Deuce its Antwon……I just realized I don’t know you that well, this whole thing is kinda freakin me out…….if anything in my apartment is messed up you will DIE……bye bye
Hi! Bob, we have an overflowing toilet in the ladies room and there is shit everywhere! I gotta a party of 8 coming in and Im up to my ankles in human crap, its a real stinkfeast back there so if you could go ahead and get that cleaned up for us Id appreciate it, thanks!
Holy Shit it’s Big Foot!!
I did man-whore for awhile.
I don’t want to bend you over and do you dry.
I dunno, maybe it’s a rash from jogging, how the hell should I know!
I GOT A THIN DICK!!!
I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and it all kind of culminated when your leg fell off.
I think there’s something wrong with my…big fish.
I’m not your average woman.
I’M UPSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRS!!!!!!!!!
IM UPSTAIRS. Deuce gets scared as he walks into her room! this must been a mistake. DID U SAY STEAK. no i said mis-steak. AH NOW U GOT ME ALL EXCITED! im gay! WELL HOW GAY ARE YOU? very very gay u mustve dialed the very gay escort service!AH ITS JUST THAT SUMTIMES MY FINGERS SWELL UP AND I CANT HIT THE BUTTONS. they should make a phone for full figured woman. they should. so now what? CAKES AND PIES CAKES AND PIES! what pie had the most sugar? PEACH COBBLER! correct thats 1 game to 5. well fast food trivia is my game!
It’s not small, it’s thin… spaghetti thin…
Jabba: I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking these are the biggest boobies you’ve ever seen.
Deuce: Can I please use your phone?
Jabba: I’m not your average woman. I like SEX……and I’m not afraid to admi..(coughs, coughs, coughs) EXCuse me I jusy had pudding an hour ago.
Deuce: DEAR GOD!
Jabba: Have you ever approached a bicycle in an airplane anchor?
Deuce: I’m sorry?
Jabba: Have you ever thrown a toothpick……..into a volcano?
Deuce: HUH?
Jabba: Oh nothin’…just making my own chitchat. Are you comfortable?
Deuce: Actually no.
Jabba: Oh….I’m sweatin’….you got me all HOT! You don’t like my hair do you?
Deuce: I think there’s been a mistake.
Jabba: DID U SAY STEAK?
Deuce: NO. MIStake!
Jabba: Oh SEE now you got me all excited!
Deuce: Look I’m gay?
Jabba: How gay are you?
Deuce: VERY VERY GAY! You must have dialed the very gay escort service!
Jabba: OH SHIT! See, sometimes my fingers swell up, and I can’t clearly hit the numbers. They should make a phone for full figured girls.
Deuce: They should.
Jabba: SO….WHAT DO WE DO?
Jabba: OH YEAH…..OH YEA Cakes and pies, Cakes and pies.
Deuce: Which pie has the most sugar?
Jabba: Peach Cobbler.
Deuce: YOU WIN AGAIN. That’s 4 games to one.
Jabba: Well, Fast food trivia is my game, honey.
Jigga-who?
Keep it in the circus!
Let’s Get It On.
Mangina. What? its a technical we man whores use
nipple biter (ieieieieieiei)
One time I dropped a cigar ash on his rug. He made me pick it up- with my anus!
One time, I dropped a cigar ash on Antoine’s carpet, and he made me pick it up….with my anus.
Shit Whore
SHIT!! SHIT WHORE!!!
Sir. There was an overflow in the womens bathroom. There is shit everywhere.
T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother’s birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
D: Where?
T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
D: Man-whoring?
T.J.: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
T.J.: See this ring? Topaz, my mother’s birthstone. Know where I got the money for it?
D: Where?
T.J.: Man-whoring! See this keychain? Mini yo-yo. Know where I got the money for it?
D: Man-whoring?
T.J.: Stock market! But I got the money for the stock market from man-whoring.
T.J.: You know, Antoine’s got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up with my anus.
That’s a HUGE BITCH
THAT’S A HUGE BITCH!
THAT’S A HUGE BITCH!!!!
That’s one tall bitch.
Thats one hell of a she bitch!
This is a CUSTOM HAND JOB!
TJ- you’re an un-grateful he-bitch!
vulva!
Well son, it looks like I’ve got some work to do
You know, Antoine’s got a really bad temper. One time, I dropped a cigar ash on his carpet, and he made me pick it up…. with my anus.
You must have a powerfull mangina
You must have a powerfull manginia
You’re a sick man and I’m gonna tell!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo’: Quotes from the movie ‘Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo’