*Talking about the character Patty* I’d like to rip every single bleach blonde hair outta her scalp..gouge out her eyeballs and use here head as a bowling ball!
1) I, ah… I can only play G-rated movies.
2) Oh well, there’s nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there’s lots of sex and violence.
1. well i never! 2. yeah, and you never will with dem soupcans on your head.
1. what’s the matter, did you forget where you put your broom? 2. listen fatso, if i had a broom i know exactly where i’d put it.
Bob: How’s your head?
Elvira: I haven’t had any complaints yet!
Bob: what perfumes re you wearing?
Elvira: super unleaded, dont smoke
Elvira (consoling Robin for getting told off about wearing make up) Hey don’t worry about it, i used to get the same line from the nuns at the orphanage about wearing make up. Course, i was only eight
Elvira (ringing the bell too interrupt a debate at the cosy cot) Listen, i hate to interrupt this little episode of the Waltons, but can I get a room?
Hows your head?…Well I havent had any complaints so far!
I didn’t know I had a good aunt…much less a GREAT one.
I don’t think you fit in this town…why…you don’t even fit in that dress.
I might just hang myself in the oven!
I need a house like a leper needs a three-way mirror!
I’m flat busted!!
I’m only in town for a couple of days and I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather squeeze into my agenda.
I’ve seen the peoples court, i’m entitled to one phonecall and a strip search (elvira in jail)
juat grab a tool and start bangin’
Judge: Any last words?
Elvira: Yes. HELP.
Listen sister, if I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.
She who holds the book of sight, when the moon is drained of all its light,
will be ruler of the night
Mistress of the Dark
Someone like her moves into town, and the next thing you know they’re teaching sex education in the schools and they’re handing out condoms to kindergarteners (Chastity Pariah talking about Elvira )
Sorry I’m late but, then, so’s my aunt (at the reading of Aunt Morganas will)
Tell ’em, tell ’em i was more than just a great set of boobs. ***Ponders a bit*** Tell ’em i was also an incredible set of legs too. And tell ’em, tell ’em I never turned down a friend. I, never turned down a stranger for that matter
The Girl who put the boob, back into boob tube
There she was parading around in clothes that wouldn’t keep a tit mouse dry in a drizzle.
Tom: At least you still have the ring.
Elvira: Yeah, but all I can get it to do is look cheap.
Trash does not compete with class.
Well, so much for my big opening.
What do I look like I just fell off the tuna truck?
What’s that perfume you’re wearin…the catch of the day?
Yeah really, lets get going before somebody else dies (still at the reading of the will)
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Elvira, Mistress of the Dark’: Quotes from the movie ‘Elvira, Mistress of the Dark’