#1) A gorilla suit? #2) That’s a gibbon suit. #1) What are novetly teeth?
#1) Do you want to see the reception? #2) No Thanks, I’m trying to quit.
#1) Well, that’s where we’re in kind of a grey area.
#2) How gray?
#1) Charcoal?
#1- He goes back and forth to Utah every weekend. #2- Oh is that right? What is he a Mormon? #3- HA …I don’t think he’s doin a whole lot of singing with the Tabernacle Choir.
(To the arresting officers)Why don’t you two leave us alone?
Yeah, go down to the gym and pump each other.
–Are you always this forward?
–Only with wet, married women.
–I’ve got some reds.
–You don’t mean communists do you, Sammy?
–Provo, Spain?
–Utah.
–These will be open.
–Wouldn’t they normally be locked?
–Sometimes yes, sometimes no. The staff usually forgets.
–I have the same problem with my help.
1) Ever seen a spleen that large? 2) No, not since breakfast.
1) Muchas Gracias. 2)Tierra Del Fuego.
1) Well, there we’re in a gray area.
2) How gray?
1) Charcoal.
1)Well, we’re in kind of a gray area there?
2)How gray?
3)Charcoal?
1)What a coincidence?
2)What’s that Senor?
1)I came this close to buying this place…something about Hopalong Cassidy killing himself….bow and arrow…very weird.
1. Can I get you something sir… 2. Yes, I will have a Steak Sandwich, a Bloody Mary, and a Steak Sandwich, and put that on the Underhills tab.
1. Do you own rubber gloves Mr. Nugent. 2. No, I have a lease with an option to buy.
1. Have you ever seen a Spleen that big? 2. Not since lunch (and he passes out)…..
1. That is sort of a grey area. 2. How Grey? 1. Charcoal
1. What kind of name is Poon?
2. Commanche Indian.
1. What was your name Dr.? 2. Dr. Rosen 1. Excuse Me 2. Dr. Rosen Penis. Dr. Rosen Rosen… Can you tell me how to get to the records room….
1. Who are you sir? 2. Frieda’s Boss 1. Who is Frieda? 2. My secretary, Thank you….
1.Huh, what a coincidence? 2.What’s that? 1.I was this close to buying this place, then I heard Hopalong Cassidy killed himself here. 2. Who? 1. Hopalong Cassidy, bow-and-arrow, very wierd.
1.Is there anyone sitting next to me, you see I’m in bridgework and my layouts take up a lot of space- I need a lot of space. 2.) Yes, there is someone sitting next to you 3.) Oh for gosh darn, darn, who is it Mr. Singlundun? 4.)No, Miss Cavanaugh, in fact you purchased the ticket for Miss Cavanaugh 5.) Doesn’t mean I want her sitting next to me!
1.where am I 2. Your in the records room doctor, you passed out. 1. Yes, I’ll need the Head of Alfredo Garcia in a jar, and the Beatles White Album.
1: Are you a cop?
2: As far as you know. Why? Did you steal this car?
1: I sure did.
2: Well, I’m not even sure that’s a crime anymore. There’ve been a lot of changes in the law.
1: Aren’t you gonna read me my rights?
2: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him.
1: I think I’ll waive my rights.
1: Can I help you Dr.–?
2: Oh it’s me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I’m just here to check out Alan Stanwyk’s file.
1: Dr. who?
2: Dr. Rosenrosen, i’m here to get into the records room.
Receptionist: What was that name again?
1: It’s Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room.
2: Dr. who?
1: Dr. Rosen! Where’s the records room?
1: Do you have caviar?
2: Si señor, Beluga, but it is 100 dollars a portion.
1: Oh, then I better just take two of those.
1: I’m John.
2: Ohhhh, John. John who?
1: John Cock…tos…ton.
2: Thats a beautiful name.
1: It’s Scotch/Romanian.
2: That’s an odd combination.
1: So were my parents.
1: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand – and your mouth shut.
2: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
1: It’s nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
2: Yeah, I assure you.
1: One thousand just to listen. I don’t see how you can pass that up, Mister…?
2: Nugent. Ted Nugent.
1: She looks like a hooker. Could you love someone who looked like that?
2: What are you talking about? Of course not! Five, ten minutes tops, maybe.
1: That’s an interesting name, Mr…?
2: Babar.
1: Is that with one B or two?
2: One. B-A-B-A-R.
1: That’s two.
2: Yeah, but not right next to each other, that’s what I thought you meant.
1: Isn’t there a children’s book about an elephant named Babar.
2: Ha, ha, ha. I wouldn’t know. I don’t have any.
1: No children?
2: No elephant books.
1: Where am I?
2: You’re in the records room.
1: Oh. Do you have the Beatles White Album? Never mind, just bring me a cup of hot fat. And the head of Alfredo Garcia.
1: Why don’t you two leave us alone?
2: Yeah, go down to the gym and pump each other.
Chick Hearn: Hes 6-5, with the afro 6-9. 4 Million dollars a year sure..but he’s worth every penny. Fletch, he defines grace under pressure
A: muchos gracias!
B: Pup n’ taco.
Aircraft mechanic #1: He uses enough fuel to go to South America and back, so I tease him. I say to him, what are ya doin up there, ya doin some stunt flyin or soemthin?
Fletch: What’s he say?
#1: He doesn’t say anything, he just gives me that look. You know, he’s got that look?
Mechanic #2: Yeah, he doesn’t say anything, he just gives him that look.
Allright, I’ll have a steak sandwich, a bloody mary, and a.. steak sandwich.
And hats off to his wife Marge. 6 long weeks at Trembling Hills, no more alchohol and sedatives in her life.
Are you using the whole fist, doc?
Aren’t you gonna’ read me my rights?
You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him.
I think I’ll waive my rights.
As I approached my palatial immitation apartment building, I noticed the familiar blue Oldsmobuick of Mr. Arnold T. Pants Esquire…Time to use the service entrance.
Awwww, come on guys, it’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
Babar…isn’t that a children’s book?
I don’t know. I don’t have any.
No children?
No elephant books.
Bend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.
Bit by bit.
Boy, what in deeee hell are you talkin’ ’bout!
broken taco
can i borrow you towel for a sec., my car just hit a water buffalo
Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.
Can’t keep me here, chief.
Cash. I’m impressed.
Chief Karlin: Name?
Fletch: Fletch
Chief: Full name?
Fletch: Fletch, F. Fletch
Chief: Occupation?
Fletch: I’m a shepard.
cvv
Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
Don’t talk to me that way assface, I don’t work for you yet.
Dr. Jellyfinger: So you’re a member of the club. That’s strange, I don’t recall seeing your name on the registry.
Fletch: I belong under mu aunt, Mrs. Smith.
Dr.: Joan or Margaret?
Fletch: Yeah, uh-huh.
Eh…you using the whole fist doc?
Fat Sam isn’t the story. There’s a source behind him.
Fifty thousand dollars and a guarantee you won’t get caught.
Fine, I’ll back off. I’ve been working on another story-the off-track betting in the himalayas. It’s a smaller story, but I know you’ve been following it.
Fletch, get outta town.
For another grand, I’ll let you take me out to dinner.
Fred The Dorf Dorfman.
Gracias, Senor.
He draws the foul!
He’s 6’5….6’9 with the afro
Hey Fred hows the herpes? Do they hurt?
Hey! I think our problems may just be solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeah, Irwin M. Fletcher, you choose. Woo
wee! Oh, boy, I lost. Yeah. Sorry.
I am neither loitering nor tresspassing. I have merely chosen an advisable location to await my client’s delinquent husband.
I charged the whole trip to the Underhill’s American Express Card. Want the number?
I didn’t want to do this, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pull rank
on you. I’m with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these
mattresses.
I didn’t want to do this, but I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pull rank on you. I’m with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
I didn’t want to have to do this…..I’m gonna have to pull rank on you. I’m with the mattress police; there are no tags on these mattresses, I’m gonna have to take you downtown. Now give me the weapon……
I don’t like to dicuss business on the lanei, let’s step into the foyer.
I like men. I like to be manhandled. I like you.
I TAKE IT YOU AND YOUR WIFE ARE CURRENTLY ALIVE….UH.. HARRY?
I was neither loitering nor trespassing. I have simply chosen an advisable location to await my clients delinquent husband.
I would have been here sooner, but a manure-spreader jacknifed on the Santa Ana. You should see my shoes.
I’m gonna need some pliers and a set of thirty weight ball bearings.
And I’m gonna need about ten quarts of antifreeze, preferably Prestone. No, make that Quaker State.
I’m sorry, who are you again?
I’m Frieda’s boss.
Who’s Frieda?
My secretary.
If you’re wearing rubbers, leave them outside.
In the court ruling U.S. vs. Fishbine, a man subjected to potential
incineration while wearing another man’s suit is entitled to $10,000
worth of airline tickets. It’s an obscure ruling, but a very important one to me.
It must be that pederast O’Harrahan. He’s bucking for promotion.
It was something your wife said to me while we were in bed together….. I assume she meant from the waist up.
It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.
It was something your wife said while we were in bed together. She said we had the same build. From the waist up I imagine.
It’s all ballbearing these days!
It’s nothing of the sexual nature, I assure you
Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick!
Keep ten for yourself. Go and get yourself a nice piece of ass.
Look at her! Could you love someone that looked like that?(takes picture) No, of course not. Ten, fifteen minutes, tops.
Look, defenseless babies!
Love your body Larry.
May I get you something?
You have any of the Beatle’s White Album? Nevermind, just bring me a glass of hot fat, and the head of Alfredo Garcia while you’re over there.
Moe Greene’s out of the Tropicana now. I have my sons Michael and Fredo running it.
Mr. Stanwyk’s parents, Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are three names I enjoy: Marvin, Velma, and
Provo.
No more alcohol and sedatives in her life
No, just one, B-A-B-A-R
Now, you and your wife are both currently alive?
Nugent. Ted Nugent.
Nurse, can I have a brown paper bag?
Oh, you remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.
Oh, you’ve remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.
oh..and..He draws the foul.
One thousand just to listen. I don’t see how you can pass that up, Mister – ?
Nugent. Ted Nugent.
Saw my pimp today.
Shall I put it on the Underhill account, señor?
So you’re saying she moved out?
stewed prunes
Suicide would nullify my insurance. Murder does not.
Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.
Thank God, the …police.
That’s a beautiful wing. I love the shape.
The Lord forgives you!!!!
The name is Liddy….Gordon Liddy
There has been a lot of drug smuggling on the beach lately. I have been trying to find out who’s behind it. It hasn’t been easy … I don’t shower much.
Uh-oh. There’s Fred! Won’t he be surprised!
Using the whole fist, Doc?
We are not talking Robutussin and No Doz.
Well I don’t like to discuss business on the lanai, let’s go inside.
What can I say about Fletch? He boxes out for us.
What is ur name fletch full name f fletch and what do u do mr fletch i am a shepherd officers why don;t u excuse us yea why don’t u 2 go down to the gym and pump each other fletch aka chevy chase telling james avery aka gene one of the officers and another officer not sure what actor but before that quote from joe don baker to chevy chase after fletch is questioned by the police chief
What kind of name is Poon, anyway?
What the hell you need ball bearings for?
What? Are you doped up now?
Don’t talk to me like that Assface… I don’t work for you yet.
Who is it, Mr Singalingdon??
Whoops? What do you meen whoops!
Why don’t we go lay on the bed and I’ll fill you in.
Woookie,look at all this filth muck on this windshield. I’m going to need some gauze pads, wd-40, and some ball bearings.
You don’t look sick, Mr. Stanwyk.
you have a very soft touch doc…ever serve time? moooooooon riverrrrr
You know Utah. It’s wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You’ve
seen pictures.
You ordered lunch here? : Well, I knew this is where my mouth would be
You should see my shoes
You’re in the records room.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Fletch’: Quotes from the movie ‘Fletch’