(reading contract) hmm…yeah…ok…oh, oh yeah…(pointing to paper, and smiling confidently) I know some of these words
1) hi Im a psychopath 2) I’m Ed 1) have small space aliens ever landed in your brain and told you to free all the kangaroos? 2) not that I recall 1) do you think Im cute? 2) well, sure 1) what’s cute about me? 2) um…your head 1) *gasps* you have a cute head too! 2) well, I try to keep it nice. So what are you in for? 1) I got in trouble, for breaking into the zoo and freeing all the kangaroos 2) oh 1) my name’s heather 2) really? My mom’s name is heather 1) really? 2) no
1) see right about know, id smack you in the head. But im not sure your brain would understand the concept of pain 2) wanna see my bellybutton?
1) So Ed, what do you wanna do? 2) I’ve always wanted to shave a Martian (pulls out razor) got a Martian?
1) They’re putting shark poison in our sauce! 2) Shark poison! 3) Why would they wanna harm those innocent sharks?
1) what happened? 2)Your head hit my golf ball, and then you went sleepy-by
1) Who are you? 2) Yo mama, who are you?
1)bottom line, you come and work for Kurt 2) who’s Kurt? 1) I’m Kurt 2) I’m Ed! 1) I’m aware! 2) I thought you said you were Kurt
1)can I give you a lift? 2) I don’t know dude, I weigh about 150 1) just get in the car
1)Excuse me? 2) What? 1) I ordered a good burger with nothing on it 2) well that’s what I gave you 1) no you gave me a bun, just a bun. There’s no meat in here! 2) You said nothing 1) well I expected a meat patty! 2) Dude, a meat patty is somethin, you said nothin. Hey fizz, is a meat patty somethin or nothin? 3) Uh, something? 2) I WIN! 1) I am reporting your name to the manager 2) but the manager already knows my name 1) I’ll see you in hell! (Throws bun down and leaves) 2) ok see you there! Such a nice guy, but I don’t know why he had to throw the bread everywhere, I mean jeez
1)hey, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere? 2) ever been to Australia? 1) uh, no 2) me neither 1) man, I swore Ive seen you somewhere 2) ooh I know! Maybe im a someone famous! Like a baseball player, or a pretty nurse 1) what?! 2) ok, I give up. Who am I? 1) I don’t know who you are, or why you think you’re an attractive nurse. But im sure I don’t wanna know you any longer. Now please, go away ive had a very bad day 2) were you bitten by a sheep? 1) no! 2)did you lose your trousers?
1)how does 10 bucks sound? 10 bucks! 2) I don’t know, it sounds kinda like krchcka chhckacha
1)man, you must not have any problems in the world 2) I have 6 toes on my left foot
1)Otis does fries! 2) yeah but look at him, how much longer can he possibly live?
1)you’re so hot 2) I often sweat at work
1. I’m reporting your name to the manager! 2. The manager already knows my name.
1. You better watch your butt! 2. [Tries.] I give up. There is no way a guy can watch his own butt.
1. You don’t want to make Kurt upset now do you? 2. Who’s Kurt? 1. I am! 2. Cool! I’m Ed! 1. I’m aware. 2. No, you just said you were Kurt!
1.Ed, you got a delivery. 2.But, I don’t do deliveries. 1.You do for the time being, I fired O’Malley. 1.Why? 2.’Cause the boy showed up to work without his pants! 1.Oh!
1: I could have sworn I saw you from someplace.
2: I know! Maybe I’m someone famous like a baseball player or a pretty nurse. Okay, I give up, who am I?
Chicken! Mooo! Mooo! Mooo!
Customer..I’ll see you in hell. Ed..alright see ya there!
Customer: [obviously frustrated] Oh, I’ll see you in hell! Ed: OK! See ya there!
Did aliens ever land in your head and tell you to go to the zoo and free all of the kangaroos?
Dude, you need a tic tac
ED-Is it because im black?
ED: Do you want to see my special area? Dexter: That’s not what I had in mind.
Ed: I come up here to think.
Dexter: Really? I didn’t take you for much of a thinker.
Ed: Oh ya! I think about all kinds of things. Good Burger…squirrels…cardboard boxes…things that are sticky.
Ed: Ok you got it Dexter: Got what? I’m swinging from a dang pipe!
Ed] Hey, Fizz hand me a good burger ( holds both a mondo burger and a good burger up to his ears) uhh..they sound similar..!
Goodness gracious, he’s killin Sydney!
Have small space aliens come and landed in your brain and told you to go to the zoo and to free all the kangaroos?
Hay bitch let play suck my dick and finger your ass untill shit come out or let play finger your pussy untill you penatrate
Hello Im Connie Muldoon! I’m hosting a family reunion and my oven’s run amok! I think it’s the heat actuator. Anyhoo! Id like to order 3 good meals, 4 junior good meals, and 17-piece order of your good chunks. Um ok on 2 of the junior good meals I’ll need to substitute the good cookies for good pies, not don’t fret if that’s extra I’ll pony up the overage. On the regular good meals I need 2 of the burgers to have ketchup, mayo, mustard, lettuce but no onion. I’ve got an interview this afternoon. That takes care of everyone except uncle Leslie who doesn’t eat meant but he does eat dairy so I don’t get it. Lets get Leslie a chickwich, some good fries and a good root beer, all to go. But I would like to have y beverage while I wait, now tootal me up!
Hey Dex, were going to putt-putt tomorrow night, you should ask Monique to come with us, no man I know she’ll say NO, come on’, are you a chicken,(Dexter No)Chicken MOO MOO,dude chickens dont moo the cluck, ya know BAHHGAA BAHHGAA(chicken noise),oh, MOO MOO
I don’t remember my dad either, but at least I get to see him everyday.
i dont know mabey im someone famous, like a baseball player, or a pretty nurse, ok ok ok i give up who am i
I hate to put a black man in jail, but I’m calling the police
I think I broke my ass!
I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, were all dudes HEY
I’m not hungry for food, I’m hungry for you.
But I’m not edible.
If you ask me, the guy’s a few tacos short of a combination plate.
Im Grape Nose Boy! Boopedy Booopedy Boopedy Booopedy Boopedy Booopedy Boopedy Booopedy…
kirk- so, how does $10 sound ed?
ed- kinda like, crshwrcrshhhshr
Kurt go in the grinder!
Kurt go to jail, Kurt go to jail, Kurt go to jail, jail, jail!
kurt) you can forget about your friends you can forget about your vamily cause now kurt is both your mother and your father dex) well kurt must look offly strange naked
Kurt: You can forget about your friends, you can forget about your families, because Kurt is now your mother AND your father. Dexter: This Kurt must look awfully strange naked. Kurt: Who said that? Who talked while Kurt was talking?!? Employee: It was him, he uttered something! Kurt: Well, I should’ve known. Dexter: Oh, I’m sorry I uttered.
Kurt: You mess with Kurt, and you go in the grinder! Dexter: Now this grinder, is it an actual grinder or is it some kind of metaphor?
Look Im grape nose boy! Blubity Blubity Blubity!
look im grape NOSE BOY!!
ok dude, I give up, it is impossible for a guy to watch his own butt
Otis: I need a hot jacuzzi
ROXANNE CAN GET THE RECEPIE OUT OF HIM OHH SHE IS SO HOT!!!
Strawberry jacuzzi!
The fro, the boots, and this jacket! You have a nice summer…shaft
Welcome to Good Burger home of the Good Burgers can I take your order?
Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?
Well you see when I was 6, I said my first words. My mom thinks it was trousers, but I think it was tweezers.
would you like fries with that
you mess with kurt and you go into the grinder! ok now this grinder of yours is it a real grinder or is it a some type of metaphor.
You’re gone! Adios! T.K.O’ed! Historical!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Good Burger’: Quotes from the movie ‘Good Burger’