Movie Quotes from Half Baked: Quotes from the movie Half Baked

1.)Lets get Billy Bong Thorton… 2.) No! We can’t use Billy Bong Thorton if the whole gang is not here! Get out Wesley Pipes.

Hey you guys beleive in angels?

#1what did u do to my horse buttercup buttercup breath
#2 all i did was feed him candy chips and popcorn
#1 hes lactose and tolerant!!! #2 sorry i didnt know #well you are under arrest for killin a cop

*beep* *beep* *beep* marijuana affects the memory.

-Mister, you cool as shit. Sorry but I am gonna have to charge you, that’s sixty bucks.
-Sixty bucks? Man, I remember when a dime bag costed a dime. Do you know how much condoms costed?
-What
-Hell, I don’t know we never used them!

…my Dad was a drug dealer. ***That musta been da sheeit!!! It ruined his life!?! ***That musta been shitty.

1) dont worry.. dont worry.. im not gonna do- what everyone thinks im gonna do- n just FLIP OUT.. all i wanna know.. is whos comin with me man?? come one! whos comin with me??… 2) ill come …1) YES JAN! thank you jan!!!..

1) Hey, is it January?
2) no… its august!
1) really?

1) I know this isn’t your responsibility but, uh would you be a dear and run this down to the supply department for me? It’s on the second floor.
2) Just run this down?
1) Uh yes, but make sure you bring the order right back to me. I need it A.S.A.P.
2) Got ya. Hey, I know this isn’t your responsibility but just mop the rest of this shit up, I’ll be right back.

1) i think that your bullshitting me. 2) if i wasnt from Jamaica, then why would i be wearing this hat?

1) One hefer w/ cheese. 2) You son of a bitch I’m right behind you! Turn around and ask me for a hefer w/ cheese. Why you gotta make me feel inferior b/c I’m on the grille b? Damn!

1) show me your scary face..
20…eh!

1) you guys want anything else?
2) yea umm can you get me something that we always used to eat back in the day, on yea… pussy. get me some of dat!

1) You said that you bought Mary Jane a pearl necklace 2) Yeah B 3) I don’t think you guys understood the meaning of that story.

1)hey guys, why is there a dog biting the guy? 2)oh, thats because i bought a dog 3)for how much? 4)oh, its cool, hes used. i got him and a dog house for only $250. 5)you bought a used dog for $250? 6)and a dog house b! brian bought something too! 7)for $400 i got jerry garcia in a pouch man! 8)who told you that? 9)the guy who sold it to me, barry garcia. 10)who’s that supposed to be, jerry garcias brother? 11)no, its andy garcias brother. 12)what in the hell are you guys spending money for? we’re not drug dealers, we’re fund raisers. 13)well, you said you gave mary jane a pearl necklace. how much did that cost? 14) aha! (points) 15)brian, you obviously missed the point of that story.

1)If I’m not back in ten minutes, call the police!
2)If he’s not back in ten minutes, we’re calling Domino’s!

1)Im from Jamaica mon..lord have mercy. 2)What part of Jamaica? 1)Right near the beach..Boi!

1)Marijuana is not an addictive drug. I sucked dick for crack. 2)I seen him! 1) Have you ever sucked dick for weed? 3)Naw, man.

1)yo the guy did you kill my dog?
2)(grunts)
3)yo i dont know why but i believe him

1)Yo, i am Cuban B
2) Yeees, Cuban B

1-Hey man we’re out of papers
2-Alright, then get me a toilet paper roll, a corkscrew and some tinfoil
1-man we don’t have a corkscrew
2-Alright, then get me an avacado, an ice pick and my snorkel, I’ve made bongs with less, hurry up!!

1-Hey, seeing as how we don’t know who your are and all, are you planning on moving out any time soon? 2-Thergood, why don’t you just focus on one thing at a time? I’ll be fine–the robbery’s what’s important now

1. It’s bad enough you’re a janitor, b
2. Custodian, dick!

1.) All we have to do is raise 10% of 1 million dollars which by our calulations is… 2.) Fucking impossible man!

1.)Turn around and tell me you want a heffer with cheese! Why you got to make me feel inferior because I’m on the grill B! 2.) *on the intercom* Sorry!

1.Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Das ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make smores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
2. That’s it?

1.Heffer with cheese 2. You son-of-a-bitch! I’m right behind you, turn around and ask me for a heffer with cheese yo! Why you gotta make me feel inferior because i’m on the grill B? Damn! 1. soorrry

1.How long will you be able to last in there? 2. About.. 5……6…..O’clock

1.yo they killer KILLER 2. ah man hold on ( walked of killer) 1. MAN watch it you stepped on his head

1.yo they killer KILLER 2. ah man hold on ( walked over killer) 1. MAN watch it you stepped on his head

1: Heard that before! 2: Said that before

1: Marijuana is not a drug…I used to suck dick for coke. 2: I seen ’em!

1:hey Fish give me your fruit cocktail
2:umm.. no, because if i give you my fruit cocktail today ill have to give it to you everyday and then i wont get all my needed vitamins
1:Fish i said give me your fruit cocktail
3:wow! back off Nasty Nate, Fish is my bitch
2:yhaa, im somebody`s bitch
1:listin fish Squirrel Master is not going to be there all the time and i`ll be looking for some cocktail fruit!

Scarface:I’ll get Billy Bong Thorton
Brian:No Scarface…No Billy Bong Thorton without Kenny…that would not be right…get Wesley Pipes…yeah…

You Know What I want I WANT SAMPSON!

>I loved Butternutts >>Buttercup >Buttercup

A) (holding mirror)You are not a fish. (makes a fish face) What was that? You are not a fish, youre a homoerectus…did i just say homo? I didn’t mean it! (starts to cry) THURGOOD!!! Come baaaack!!

A) You guys feel like your floating? Lets go outside.

A)Jane, you wanna be like my girlfriend?
B)Um…I would, but im gay…yea im a big dike…
A)Whats that like?

A)Where in Jamaca. B)Right near da beach, boooyyy!

Abazaba…you my only friend

ABBA ZABBA, you my only friend.

Abba Zabba, you’re my only friend.

Abba Zabba… you my only friend!

Abba Zabba…you my only friend!

Abracadabra my nigga!

Abracadabra, my nigga!

And hey, if im not back it ten minutes call the police.
2) if he aint back in ten minutes we callin domino’s
3YEAAAA

as far as erb goes you caan get it all over this town like at these little corner stores called bodegas, say it with me now, bo-de-gas, yes very good

at least brian got away…AHHHHHHH MY NADS!!

Back off Nate he’s my bitch. If anyone is going to stab its going to be me.

Back up Nasty Nate, this my bitch!

Biatch you know what i want i wanna talk to samson fly me to the moon like that bitch alice kramser, cause it’s hard being black and gifted, sometimes i throw it all up and get lifted. everybody knows in my neighbourhood its the best shit around, samson’s shit is best put the whole town on lock down!!

biatch, you know what i want. I wanna talk to samson, fly me to the moon like that bitch alice kramdon.

Bitch you know what i want……i wanna talk to samson, fly me to the moon like that bitch alice kramden!

Bitch, you know what I want. I wanna talk ta Samson, fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden, Cause it’s hard being black and gifted, and times like this wanna throw it al down and get lifted.

In background while Thurgood and Brian are talking (I’m Sir Smoke Alot, What ______________ Shut up Bitch Call Samson _______________)

Everybody knows in my neighborhood, It’s the best sens around, Samson’s shit is blessed, Got the whole town on lock down.

BITCH, you know what I want…HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I wanna talk to SAMPSON…

bitch…you know what i want…i want to talk to SAMSON…

Breur: [After being fired] Don’t Worry. I’m not gonna DO what everybody THINKS I’m gonna do, and just FLIP OUT MAN! All I wanna know…is who’s coming with me? Who’s coming with me man?!
Girl: I will.
Breur: Thank you! Thank you jan. Hey Jan, do you want to be my girlfriend?
Girl: Oh. See I would, but I’m gay. Yeah I’m a big dyke.
Breur: Wow- what’s that like?

Brian – Don’t worry, Don’t worry. I’m not gonna do what everyone thinks i’m gonna do and flip out man. I just wanna know one thing…Whos coming with me? Whos coming with me, man? yeah jan yeah man. Jan will you be my girlfriend?Jan- No i’m gay, yeah a big dyke. Brian – How is that, man?

Brian-Samson, can i ask you a question? Samson, ::sigh:: yes, what is it? Brian-Do you know where i can score some CO-CAINE? Samson – You want some candy? Brian-No thanks, but i would like to know where i could get some CO-CAINE.

Brian: First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he’s adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he’s a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer’s good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said ‘no man that’s my brother, I can’t fight nibbles’ but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said ‘that’s it!’ he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.
Thurgood Jenkins: You know uh, I never thought I’d say this to anybody, but you two smoke entirely too much reefer.

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia’s brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia’s brother

Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Das ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make smores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.
Kenny Davis: That’s it?

Brian: Lady, seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I’ll give you five.
Record Store Customer: Ugh-huh, he autographed it himself.
Brian: Alright, I’ll give you four.

burritos man

candy makes you dandy – sampson

Chill Nasty Nate, He’s my bitch.

COP:What did you give my Buttercup? KENNY:I just gave him some candy and some popcorn and some funyons COP: THIS HORSE IS A DIABETIC! (crying) WHY?! KENNY: WHY?! COP:Your under aresst, you dumb son of a bitch. KENNY:But i love horses, I love butterstuff COP:Buttercup, say it! KENNY:Butternutts!!

Cuz it shard being black n gifted!

DAMN B!

damn, why you gotta make me feel inferior cuz im on the grill b?

Did he just move?

do you believe in angels?

Do you know how much condoms were back then?
No. How much?
I dont know…we never used them…

Do your sock laundry, yo.

Do your sock laundry, you!

Doctor said I need a backeotomy.

Doctor says I need a back-iotomy

Dont call too late, you know I be stripin’ in the evenings.

dont get me wrong i love weed.. but not as much as i love pussy

DOnt Worry , DONt worry im not going to do what you think i am going to do FLIP OUT MAN all i want to know is who’s comming who comming man whos comming with me.

Dont worry, dont worry iam not goin to do what every1 thinks iam goin to do flip out man all i want to kno is whos comein with me who comein who comein man who comein with me.

Enhancement Smoker: You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill… on weed? Oh, there’s some crazy shit, man. There’s a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

First of all to understand what happened to killer, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. Now killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. He was always ashamed of this, man. And then right after that he’s adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz he’s a small time gun runner and a rotweiler fight promoter. So he puts killer into training. They see killer’s good. He is damn good. But then he had the fight of his life. They pit him against his brother nibbles. And killer said no man that’s my brother, I can’t fight nibbles but they made him fight anyway, and killer, he killed nibbles. Killer said that’s it! he called off all his fights, and he started doing crack, and he freaked out. Then in a rage, he collapsed, and his heart no longer beat. wow.

First of all, to understand what happened to killer, you have to understand who Killer the dog was… Killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother, and he was always ashamed of this.

Fish, gimme your cocktail fruit.

FOUR YEARS JUST FOR WEED?!?!?!?!?!?

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Your cool! Im out!

FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK U, YOUR COOL, AND FUCK YOU IM OUT

fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you i’m out

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Your cool, And fuck you,im out

Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you…You’re cool, Fuck you Fuck

fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you. im out.

FULLY man! that is an official FULLY!

Fully! Now that is an offical fully!

get me a box a condoms and uhh whats that stuff they use to eat back in the day…oh yeah…PUSSY!

get me a box of codems and whats that stuff we use to eat back in the day???? oh yea pussy

Get me some condoms, and what’s it called… The stuff I used to eat a lot back in the day… Oh yeah!!! Pussy

Get me some of that stuff we used to it back in the day….what was that??? Oh yeah, pussy.

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Das ice cream bars a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make smores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and…….funyons.

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Haagen-Das ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make smores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Captain Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ’em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.

gimme that, sorry 4 yelling, but im serious we gotta be more responsible and focus, alright. be sharp.

GIMME YO’ COCKTAIL, FRUIT!

hahahah

He had sex with my momma! WHY??

Gawd… if you listenin… HELP

HE HAD SEX WITH MY MOMMA!!!!

heffer with cheese, u son of a bitch im rite behind u, turn around an ask me for heffer with cheese yo. why do u always got to make me feel inferior cuz im on the grill b damn!

Hey Are you payin attention 2) NO

Hey hold up I gotta give some of this to the guy…

Hey is it January?
Naw man it’s August.

Hey Janitor? Yes scientist?

Hey, the guy, did you kill my dog?

hey, u like popcorn….makes your teeth go POP POP POP POP POP

How about i pretend im jamaican man!!

Hungry girl? Fuck you nigga

I ain’t even in to the mother fucker yet back off bro

I am a master of the custodial arts, or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it.

I believe him, yo. I dunno why, but I do

I don’t do drugs, just weed.

I don’t do drugs. They’re bad for your body. Up with hope down with dope!

I don’t DO drugs…only weed.

I don’t remember the first day of school… And my ‘first time’… I don’t remember that either… But I will never forget the first time I smoked that sweet, sweet, Cheba!

I dont have no idea what your talking about—ahh! black-ass! why didnt you moon us earlier, eh?

i got some booty i got some booty

I got some booty! I got some booty!

I looove weed…but not more than pussy

I love ButterNuts….ButterStuff….BUTTERCUP!!

I love butterstuff
Buttercup, say it!
BUTTERNUTS!

i love smoking weed. i love it. but not as much as i love pussy.

I love weed, I love it, but not as much as I love pussy.

I myself am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it.

I never thought I’d say this to anyone, but you guys smoke entirely too much reefer.

I see a tittie, yea man thats deffenitly a titty

I think it’s much more complex than that. To know what happened to killer, you have to know who killer the dog was man. Now killer was born to a three-legged-bitch mother and he was always ashamed of this. Then he got adopted by this man, Tito Libowitz. He was a part time gun smuggler and rotwieler dog fight promoter and he trained Killer and Killer was good. He was damn good. Then he pit agianst the fight of his life…his brother, Nibbles. And Killer said no way man, I can’t fight nibbles, he’s my brother. But they made them fight anyway and Killer killed Nibbles. Then he said, that’s it man and called all his fights and started smoking and one day he just went bazurk and collapsed and his heart no longer beat. Wow.

I think they’re mistaking my kindness for weakness.

i used to suck dick for coke

i wana talk to samson!!!

I wanna talk to Sampson! Fly me to the moon like that bitch Allace Grampton!

I’m a master of the custodial arts, a janitor if you wanna be a dick about it.

I’m a master of the custodial arts..or a janitor if you want to be a dick about it

I’m impotent…bitch get off me.
-Sir-Smoke-A-Alot

I’m not a fish, I’m a man. Where’d that come from

I’m not gonna do what everybody thinks im gonna do and FREAK OUT! I just wanna know…. whos comin with me? WHOS COMIN WITH ME??

I’m somebody’s bitch!!

I’ve made bongs with less

I’ve never been so thirsty in my life!

If I weren’t Jamaican, then why would I be wearin’ this hat!?

If im not back in 10 minutes, call the police…If he aint back in 10 minutes im callin dominoes!

if im not back in ten minutes……..call the police
….if he ain’t back in ten minutes…we callin dominos!

im impotent man..get away from me bit*h!

Im not gonna do what you think im gonna do, im not gonna flip out man!

im somebodys bitch!

it’s hard being black and gifted…. sometimes i just want to throw it all down and get lifted!!

Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!

Just SMOKE it, yo!

Kenny called,
He’s in jail…
didnt leave a #
sincerely, the guy on the couch

Kenny’s butthole was in constant jeopardy

Kenny-I can’t give you my fruit cocktail.
Nasty Nate-WHY
Kenny-Because if i give you my fruit cocktail then i’ll have to give it to you everyday, and then I won’t get all my vitamins.
SQUIRREL MASTER – You leave FISH alone, he’s MY bitch!

kenny-you guys want anything else while i’m out?
thurgood- ya, get me some of that stuff that we used to eat back in the day, what was it…….oh ya, PUSSY get me lotsa that!!!!

KENNY: Dirty jungle of love!

KENNY: hey girl, you hungry?
LADY: Fuck you nigger!

Kenny: if im not back in 10 minutes call the policE
if he ant back in 10 minutes were calling dominos

Kenny: Say uh, do you believe in angels, or uh?
Nasty Nate: Man gimme your fruit cocktail.
Kenny: Well I can’t. If I did that I’d have to give it to you every day and I wont get all my vitamins
Nasty Nate: Do you know who you’re dealing with?
Squirrel Master: Chill Nasty Nate, he’s my bitch. If anyone’s gonna stab him, it’s gonna be me. You got a problem with that?
Nasty Nate: Better watch your back fish cause Squirrel Master aint gonna be there all the time, cause next time I come for you, I’m gonna want some cocktail… fruit.
Kenny: Take it, I’m somebody’s bitch.

Kenny: Say uh, do you believe in angels, or uh?
Nasty Nate: Man gimme your fruit cocktail.
Kenny: Well I can’t. If I did that I’d have to give it to you every day and I wont get all my vitamins
Nasty Nate: Do you know who you’re dealing with?
Squirrel Master: Chill Nasty Nate, he’s my bitch. If anyone’s gonna stab him, it’s gonna be me. You got a problem with that?
Nasty Nate: Better watch your back fish cause Squirrel Master aint gonna be there all the time, cause next time I come for you, I’m gonna want some cocktail… fruit.
Kenny: Take it, I’m somebody’s bitch.

killer got the rath, he got the rath of the nunchucks yo’

Killer got the wrath…the wrath of the nunchucks, yo

Killer killed nibbles.

Lets use billy bong thorton

Listen Fish, Squirrel Master always isn’t going to be there for you. Next time I see I’m going to want some cocktail…..fruit.

Man i remember when dime bags used to cost a dime!

Man, why didnt you tell me you were into this shit? We could have been hanging out months ago!

Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that’s an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana

Maybe i was a little forward with that ice cream stuff.

Motha Fucka said ice cream yo!

Mother fucker said ice cream.

MOWIE WOWIE!!!!!

Mr.Nice Guy, party accessories

My Doctor say i need a Back-e-otomy!!

nasty nate kept asking me for my coctail fruit, and then the squirrel master came out of left field and called me his bitch!!!!!!!!!!

Nasty Nate: You better watch your back fish! Squirrel Master ain’t always gonna be there to protect you…and the next time I come for you I’m gonna want some cocktail. FRUIT!

Naughty jungle of love!

Nooo, this is Mary Jane!! Meet her, say hello to her, shake her hand..

Now don’t get me wrong, I love weed. But not as much as love BOOTY!

Now I don’t need to tell y’all this, but this weed was the Shiz-nittle-bam-snip-snap-sack!

Now that’s a titty

Now thats a titty

oh dip, your titty.

Ok, Mary Jane, I swear…that you got pretty eyes.

On no. see this is just my costume. yeah everyday of the week I dress up as a differnt village person. Its kinda this thing im into.

Operator with an emergency break through from your sister. Sampson, this is sheila, momma fell! SHUT UP BITCH!

opperator with emergancy breakthrough from your sister: Samson this is Sheila! momma fell! (samson) shuddup bitch!

people say that you don’t get high the first time that you smoke weed, but not us, the first time we touched the stuff, we wuz hoooookt!!!

peptobismal…ye motha fuckaxz

Sampsom, its Sheila, momma fell

SAMSON GETS ME LIFTED
SIR SMOKA LOT
MCA RECORDS
DIR. TAMRA DAVIS

What do you want master?
Bitch, You know what I want…Hahahaha

I wanna talk to Samson
Fly me to the moon like that bitch Alice Kramden
Cause it’s hard bein black and gifted
Sometimes I just wanna throw it all down and get lifted
My name is Sir Smoka Alot!
Everybody knows in my neighborhood it’s the bestest around
Samson’s shit is blessed Got the whole town on lockdown
Think about this shit please

Samson Simpson, I Stick to my story!

Samson: Now im gunna take your mexican friend here, Scarface: I’m Cuban B. Samson: Yes! Cubanb

SAMSON:’Here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna take your little Mexican freind here, and I’m gonna kill him.’
SCARFACE:’Yo! I’m Cuban, B!’
SAMSON:’YES! CubanBee!’

Scarface: Don’t worry, man. All we gotta do to get you out is to get ten percent of ten million dollars. Which by our calculations is…
Brian: … Fucking impossible, man!

Scarface: I’m CUBAN, B!
Samson: Ah yes…Cuban B.

Scarface: yo the guy, did you kill my dog?

Sir Smoka Alot
Mr. Nice Guy

When life is hard, I pick up that card with the smiley face
Call him over to my place
Box it Man it gets you high, Man it gets you high, Man it gets you highhhhhhh with Mr Nice Guy
Mr Nice GUY! MR NICE GUY!!!!! MR NICE GUYYYYYY!!!
Hahaha Ahhhhhhh!

Sir Smokalot: Doctor says I need a back-iotomy

Sir Smoke Alot- When life gets hard i pick up that card with the smiley face to come over to my place

Sir Smoke Alot: Bitch! you know what i want… hahahahahaha I wanna talk to sampson!

So tell me a little bit about youself. Well I be from Jamaica mon, Lohd have mercy. What part of Jamaica? Right nee-ah da beach… BOY-EEE! I think… your bullshitting me. Sampson Simpson I stick to mah story I’m from Jamaica, if I wasnt Jamaican… why would I wear this hat?

so you guys feel like smokin??? Naa man, just sittin here thinkin about kenny b. (couple seconds later),,,,,so you guys feel like smokin, i’ll get billy bong thorton, naaa mmaaaannn, no billy bong thorton without kenny, get wesley pipes.

Some people say they dont get high the first time they smoke…not me, no not us we were REALLY REALLY HIGH, we was TOW UP!

Still waiting on that pepper juilo. Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you, Your cool, and Fuck you Im out

That motha fucka just said ice cream!

that must have been the shit that must have been shit

That weed was the shiznittlebamsnipsapsnap!

that’s it? (Dave C) Oh ya…and pick up some of that stuff…you know, we use to eat it all the time back in the day….oh yeah…pussy. Ha ha…bring me back some of that

Therogood – Now thats a titty…Bryan – Fully man, fully

They have to have papers, I mean, they’re scientists.

they killed killa, yo!

they might call it the city that never sleeps, but ill tell you this, it takes a lot of fucking weed naps

This is what I am going to do>>> I am going to take your litte mexican friend>>> and I’m going to kill him.
I’m Cuban B!!!!
Yes Cuban B!!!!!!!!

This weed was the shiz-nittle-bam SNIP SNAP SNAP!!

Thurgood Jenkins: Guys just shutup about the weed for two seconds, I don’t want this girl to know I smoke
Scarface: Yeah it’s bad enough you a janitor yo.
Thurgood Jenkins: Custodian, dick!

Thurgood Jenkins: I be from Jamaica, mon.
Samson Simpson: What part of Jamaica?
Thurgood Jenkins: Right near the beach, boy!

Thurgood Jenkins: I’m sorry, yo. I don’t wanna be the first nigga to die from a crossbow!

Thurgood Jenkins: So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.

Thurgood: He opened up to me like i was Barbara Walters.

Thurgood: Meet Maryjane

Scarface: Thats what i said, we gonna burn one, B.

Thurgood: Nooo, this is Mary Jane!! Meet her, say hello to her, shake her hand..

To understand how killer the dog was killed, you gotta understand who killer the dog was. See killer was born o a three legged bitch of a mother, and he was always ashamed of this. So then he was sold to this man, Tito Leevowitz, a small time gun-runner, and wrotwieler fight promoter. So he put killer into training, and the next thing you know, killer is good, he is DAMN good. But then, he had the fight of his life. They put him against his brother nibbles. And killer said No Man, I can’t fight killer man, that’s my brother man! But they made ’em fight anyway, and killer killed nibbles. So killer said that’s it! And he started calling off all his fights, and smoking crack, and in a fit of rage, he collapsed, his heart no longer beating…………Yeah

To understand what happened to killer, you gotta
understand who killer the dog was

To understand what happened to Killer, you gotta understand who Killer the Dog really was. Now Killer was born to a three-legged bitch of a mother. And he was ashamed of this, man. And then he was adopted by this man, Tito Liebowitz, a small time gun runner and rotweiler fight promoter. And they put Killer into training, and they realized Killer was good. He was damn good. Then, he was scheduled for the fight of his life, against his brother, Nibbles. And he was like ‘no man, i’m not gonna fight Nibbles, thats my brother, man’. And they made him fight. And he killed Nibbles. And that was it, he cancelled all his fights, started smoking crack. And in a rage, he wrecked the apartment and collapsed on the floor. And Killer was no more…wow!

Toe Up!!

u have smoked urself retarded

Ummm, scientist… mop this shit up real quick, ill be right back.

We gotta save Kenny’s sweet virgin ass!

we need to use wesley pipes

We’re not drugdealers. We’re fundraisers.

were not drug dealers were fund rasiers

What was that we used to eat…..oh yeah, PUSSY!

When life gets hard… I pick up that card… The one with the smily face… Take me to the place! (Fly me to the moon baby!)

When life is hard I pick up that card with the smilely face,invivite him over to my place…

Why must you rage? Stop the hate, child!

wut u guys doin? nuthin bummin cuz of kenny.yea .i got some weed at work today u all wanna smoke? naw………………..so u wanna smoke. i’ll get billybong thortan. no scarface no billy bong thortan with out kenny that wouldn’t b right man get westley pipes yeaaa.

Yes ,cuban b.

Yes! Cuban bee!

YO im cuban B. Yes cuban B.

yo killa, Kill. Killa, Kill!!

yo thats a fully man

Yo they killed killer B.

You ever ran backwards through a corn field naked??

You ever see a 20 dollar bill……..you ever see a 20 dollar bill on weeeeed

You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill… on weed? Oh, there’s some crazy shit, man. There’s a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO

You ever see the back of a twenty dollar bill… on weed? Oh, there’s some crazy shit, man. There’s a dude in the bushes. Has he got a gun? I dunno! RED TEAM GO, RED TEAM GO.

You guys gotta get me out of here! There’s this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I’m his bitch!

You guys gotta get me out of here! There’s this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I’m his bitch!

you have officialy smoked yourself retarded

you have smoked yourself retarded

you have smoked yourself retarded!

You have smoked yourself retarded.

you in here for some marijuana?

You said you gave Mary Jane a pearl necklace

You stepped on his head, b!

You walk around on two legs, homo erectus. Did I say homo? I didn’t mean that!

You’re not a fish…You’re a man…Homo erectus…Did I say homo?…I DIDN’T MEAN IT!

your cool, your cool, your cool

~*Shiz Nit La Bam Snip Snap Snap*~

Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Half Baked’: Quotes from the movie ‘Half Baked’

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