First we’re going to take an hour meditation break. Then we’re going to climb that 1000-foot rock face over there with our bare hands and feet. I know you can do it, I have faith in you. But for now, observe the silence of the chi.
Hello campers, it’s a glorious morning. The key word for today is Values, do you have any, not yet. But by the end of the summer, you all will be skinny winners.
*Lars screams*
Shut up! Lars, gues what we found out? we found out, if you dont have a job, *chuckles* you get deported! So lars, buddy, pal, are you wih tus or are you against us?
(fear in his voice) I am with you. I love you.
-Name 5 US vice presidents. -Quayle! -Uhhuh! -George Washington. -No, Im sorry. -Oh!! Uh, Quayle. -You said that already. -Cher?
1) And I am LARS! 2) Lars?! Where are you from!? 1)Fa a-way
1) its josh! josh is back! josh speak to me its me jerry! 2) jeeeerrrrrry! 1) What happened did they put u in jail? the nut house? 2)josh was bad…now josh good must be… 1) must be what? 2) must be good to see my big ass again!
1) Oh my god! I’m DEAD!
1) So what was the first thing you did out there? 2) Went to the Sizzler, got one of those all you can eat meals. Yeah, closed the place down.
1) Where are you from Laz?
2) Fa Fa Avay…
1)Don’t Blubber Chubber! (Roy hits the boy with the bad remark in the stomach with a bat)Roy:That’ll teach em to mess with us!
1)Go-carts! How many times can u ride them? 2) As many as u want! But be careful they can get addicting!…I’m only kidding…
1)Good morning campers, today is evaluation day. The key word is value. Do you have any? Not yet. But by the end of this summer this camp will be full of skinny winners! 2) Skinny weiners? Did you hear that guys!?
1.) mmmm can you smell it? theres a light force in here tonight, can you feel it?? hmm?? i look around this room and i see, potential, i see the future chairaman of a fortune 500 company, i see a famous rap artist. I see the president of the united states of america
2.) hes from england!
1.) some of you from western pennsylvania may know my father, tony perkis senior, the light fixture king, all of the lights that you see around the camp have been donated by him! but im gonna do ol’ dad one better, im not gonna give u a light, im gonna show u the light!! and to help me do it, please meet the new staff of camp hope, team perkis!! stand proud boys! hey who wants to be on tv hmm?? thats kenny the camera man! hey there kenny! if all goes according to plan, we’re gonna make summer, into the number one weight loss info-mercial in the country.. kids, at age 12 i weighted 319 lbs, i had bad skin, low self esteem, and no self respect. but now i eat success for breakfast! pounds are gonna fly and fat is OUTTA HERE MISTER! and were gonna do it TOGETHER!!
2.) o0o0o0oh my god…
3.) I WANNA GO HOME!!
70% of the people in america are fat asses and theres nothing they cand do about it they are some fat bastards and will never change in a day in their fat lives and i mean all the fat people sitting on the couch eating
Tim to kid during baseball
You can do it
Keep your eyes on the bat
Put it in the pocket
Swing harder
I have no idea what I’m saying
A man once said war is hell, well he never went to fat camp.
Alright! Josh Burnbound, get on the scale son! (applause, cheers,scale clinking)Alright get off the scale!
And Fat’s out a here! MR!
And I am Lars! Lars?..what kind of a name is that?..where are you from anyways? ..FAHH AWAY..
and what have we learned from this?… never put twinkies on your pizza!
Anybody who brings candy to this camp isn’t your friend, he’s a destroyer.
Are we rolling Kenneth? Speed, does that mean rolling? aa yes it does… everyone clap your hands…
At age 12 i weighed 319 pounds i had bad skin low self esteem and no self respect now i eat success for breakfast…with skim milk. Pounds fly and that fat is outta here mister! and we’re gonna do it TOGETHER!
Attention campers. Lunch has been canceled today due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.
BODY!
Buddy!!!……. Buddy!!!!……. BUDDY!!!!!!!!
can you smell it
congradulations mr sims, your the fattest boy in camp!
hey you guys, lets hear it for sims!
eeehhhh eeeeehhhhhh
Congradulations Mr. Sims, you are the fattest boy at camp.
congratulations Mr. Simms, you are the fattest boy in camp.
Congratulations Mr. Simms, you’re the fattest boy in camp.
Congratulations Nicolas, you’ve been a great guard. Your queen would be proud. I would like to reward you with this chocolate kiss…Oops, butterfingers!
congratulations sims, you are the fattest boy in camp
Congratulations, Mrs. Simms, you’re the fatest boy at camp!
Dear Grandma, A man once said that war is hell…..he obviously didn’t go to fat camp. The kids over at camp MVP come by everyday just to humiliate us. But worst of all, today the killed the blob.
Did you ever hear the story of Icarus, who continually rolled the ball up a hill, but when he got too close, the ball melted in the heat of the sun. You are all like Icarus.
Do it to it Lars!
Do it to it Larz. It would be my pleasure Tony.
Do it to it, LARS!
do you jerry i havent scored a point in anything
Don’t be frightened, Nicholas. I’m a beaten man.
Don’t Pee in the water! (Blows Whistle) HEY! Don’t drink the water, he just peed in it!
Don’t put twinkies on your pizza
dont let anyone sign your checks!
Everywhere I go I’m late!
Everywhere I got I’m late!
Feel the chi. Repulse the monkey.
Feel the chi… Repulse the monkey… Ride the wild horse’s mane…
Feel the chi…Repulse the monkey
Garner…Gerald, age 11, 141 pounds. People that bring food into this camp are not your friends, they’re destoyers. I know you’re not a destroyer Gerald. I’m sure your father Morrie Garner (disturbing dark voice) wouldn’t want to hear his son is a destroyer.
Gerald :Dont tell, but i uh snuck in some oreos.Roy:That was very sneaky of you Roy:I just checkeed out the new nurse an she is very attractive. Josh:This pleases me
Gerald Garner step on up son, get off the scale, let me make something very clear, the perki system does not work for cheaters like Gerald Garner… How can we sell an infomercial about fat kids that cant keep their piggy little mouths shut… You know what I blame myself, no I dont blame myself, not this time Tony… Excuse me one minute
gerald:mr perkis?
mr perkis: poppa
girl 1: why don’t they just lose some weight?
girl 2: why don’t you teach them how to throw up after meals just like you do?
Girl1)why can’t those guys just loose weight?? Girl2)well maybe you could teach them how to stick there finger down their throats and throw up after meals like you do!
Good morning campers. Today is evaluation day. The key word is value. Have any? Not yet!
Great movie. The cinematography was excellent. But the villain was a little…over the top.
hellllllllllllllllo im your new friend and counsela please enjo your new perkis system uniforms your families will be billed automaticly
hey new kid get these salamies off my back
Hey there Mr. Rainy day–I have a little surprise for you (pins wings on him) Cutie!
Hey you going to fat camp…yea why…cause your fat…is that your dad over there…no why..because he’s fat too
Hey, I’m looking for several portly adolescents!
Hey, that’s me! I’m skinny!
Hi Hi HI YA!!!
How many of you know the story or Icarus, the man who rolled the ball up the hill ’till finally he got so high up it melted in the heat of the sun. Youre all like Icarus!
how would u like to suck my balls
How’s This For Fun Cody
Hurry up fatty! My on legged gramma can run faster than you!
I did not send you to go-kart camp!
I did not send you to go..kart…camp…
I eat sucess for breakfast!…..with skim milk
i eat sucess for breakfest.. with skim milk
i have a severely deviated septum, i make a very disturbing sound when i sleep. Don’t be alarmed I am quite alright.
I have a severly deviated septom and when I sleep I make a very disturbing sound. But don’t be alarmed, I’M FINE.
I just saw the nurse in the infermery and she is very attractive. Josh: This pleases me.
I must warn you, i have a very Deviated septum, when i sleep, i make a very disturbing sound…do not be alarmed…I am fine…now…go to sleep.
i think he blew a micro chip!
I’m feeling skinny, Tony!
If I wasn’t so dang fat, maybe then I could be skinny.
Im in the PG club and all you guys stink butt at qoutes cuz you dont even no the correct way of saying them. We are PG lovin kids and we love wut we do so keep it PG keep it PG
is that tony??
It’s just father sky, mother earth, and dear old Uncle Tony.
It’s just father sky, mother earth, and your dear old Uncle Tony.
Jerry says: wrapper i hear wrapper. all of them:hey whos there Nicolas:no one…now go away..(josh opens door)Where did you get that Nicolas says: i found it.
jerry: hey guys…you hear that?…(confusion)…WRAPPER…FOOD WRAPPER!
jerry: hey josh, how long you been shaving?
josh: couple years
jerry: wrapper.. i hear a wrapper
All the kids: hey whos in there
nicolas: no one now go away
josh opens the door and says: where did you gett that
nicolas says: i found it…
Josh Burnbound, step on the scale son. Step off the scale!
josh step on the scale..[thud] stepp off
josh: are you going to fat camp?
jerry: no, why?
josh: because you’re fat! is that your dad?
jerry: no! why?
josh: because he’s fat too!
Josh: Is that your dad?
Jerry: No, why?
Josh: Because he’s fat too!
Josh: Semour Butts. Tony: Semour Butts? Whose Semour Butts? Josh: Nobody’s Semour Butts than you Uncle Tony.
Josh: So, Lars, Buddy, Pal. Are you wiht us or against us?
Lars: I am with you. I love you.
Josh: This pleases me
Kiss the ground fat boy!
Kristin Hartmann is cool, not
Lares: Nurse Judy! i have this problem with my siotic nerve i was thinking maybe later you could give me a deep tissue massage? Nurse Judy: Lares shouldnt you be watching the kids? Lares: don’t worry i have them on the boddy system. Nurse: the boddy system? Lares: yes watch. BODDYYYYY!!! Kids: BUDDY!!
Lars – And I am Lars! Roy – Lars? What kind of name is that? Where are you from? Lars – Very far away.
Lars – Please put your fat finger down!…. You have broken my Camera!
Lars: (in Scandinavian accent) Now, let’s play a little game to learn each other’s names.
Josh: (mimicking Lars) We already know eetz ahdah’s names
Lars: Congratulations Mr. Simms, Your the fattest boy in camp!
Josh: Comeon lets give the man a round of applause! (CLAP)
Lars: GET DOWN!
Lars: Hey! Don’t pee in the wahda. Don’t drink the wahda, he peed in it!
Lars: I have candy!
Lars: I love you, I WITH you!
Lars: I’ll see you all in hell!
Lars: Put your fat finger DOWN!
LARS=CONGRATULATIONS MR. SIMMS YOU ARE THE FATTEST BOY IN CAMP.
Larz: I’m feeling skinny Tony!
Leave him, Hes a straggler…stragglers must be left to fend for themselves.
Lighten up fellas, the party’s over!
Listen up campers. Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle. Deal with it.
London bridges falling downn
Looks like London Bridge is falling down..
Lunch will be cancelled today due to a lack of hussel-deal with it
More Waffles PLEASE!!
My ass is wheat grass.
my grandmother runs faster than you, and she only has one leg!
My name is Lars
My penis is bulging out of my size 12 underwear.
never put twinkies on your pizza
next were going to climb that 1000 foot rock face with our bare hands and feet
NURSE JULIE!
oh look…a deli meat!
Oh the fat man is trying to tell me what’s healthy. You’re a negativity spreader finley, and I won’t have it.
Oh, look–a deli meat!
one hundred fourty one pounds Gerald Garner
OUCH!!
Pack your shine, boys! The Party’s Over!
Pat Finly, please report to the man’s toilets immediately…bring a mop and a plunger….now.
Pat Finnley, please report to the men’s toilet,immediaty. bring a mop an a plunger, NOW
Pat Finnley, please report to the mens bathrooms imediatly, bring a mop and a plunger. NOW
PAT! PAT! PAT! PAT!
PAT: 20 miles? mr perkis with all do respect i just don’t think it’s healthy..
TONY: oooooo the fat man is going to tell ME whats healthy
PAT: well i just thought
TONY: well i jus, you know it’s funny no ones really cares what you think, you’re a negativity spreader
PAT: i’ll talk to tony
LARS: please do… let me get your bag(throws bag) enjoy your summa
perkis: down on the ground joker boy josh:could you please get off of me?
Please Put your fat finger down!
Put the fruit trays away. THe insects will be out soon.
PUT YOUR FAT FINGER DOWN!!
PUT YOUR FAT FINGER DOWN…..YOUVE BROKEN MY CAMERA!
Roy: I saw the new nurse today Josh. She is very attractive
Josh: This pleases me.
Sam:help me get this salimi off my back its killin me
So, are you with us or against us? Lars: I am with you. I love you.
Someone once wrote, War is Hell. Well they have never been to fat camp.
Someone once wrote…War is Hell. Well they have never been to fat camp.
Step on the scale son…step off
step on the scale… step off the scale
Sugar free punch!?! This bites!!
sugar free punch… this bites!!
The dance is over, ladies thank you for coming I know its been difficult…. better bring in the fruit trays, the insects will be out soon.
THE DANCE IS OVER, wrap up the food, the insects will be out soon
The guy: now this is called the blob Mori: the bluuuuuooooooob
The word for today is value. Do you have any? No way! Because you’re a loser! A loser with a skinny weiner!
Then we’re going to climb that 1000 foot rock in our bare hands and feet
There will be no food. This is a clensing hike. Just father sky, mother Earth, and your dear old Uncle Tony
They killed the blob today! And as for the Go-Karts, may they rest in pieces.
This is the 18th level of the PerkiSystem. You’ll all be doing this by Labor Day. All right, do it to it Lars!
This is the day we seperate the men from the boys.
THIS ISN’T FROM HEAVYWEIGHTS
but me and a few of my friends could take any of you people on in a duel….(series of movie quotes exchanging back and forth until someone can’t go anymore) on the following PG rated films.. heavyweights, little big league, rookie of the year, D2, angels in the outfield, PG FOREVER
Those of you from Western Pennsylvania probably know my father, Tony Perkis Senior, the Lighting fixture king
Tim: (when seeing Tony tied up, to kids) You can’t kidnap the owner of a camp! They give people the chair for this kind of thing!
today’s lecture: liposuction, option or obsession?
Todays lecture topic will be, Liposuction, Option or obsession?
tonights lecture is liposuction… Option or obsession
Tony – Good morning campers, it’s a glorious morning. Today’s key word is Value. Do you have any? Not yet! But at the end of this summer this camp’s going to be filled with Skinny Winners! Roy – Skinny weeners? Here that guys?!
Tony – Joshua Bernbow, step on the scale son! Josh – Alright! Tony – Step off the scale! Josh – Alright!
tony talking to himself: how you doin’ little tony. baaad. why are you doing bad. because they are messing up my camp and..well its not your fault. thats right its not. its their fault. thats right its their fault. ITS YOUR FAULT AND YOU WILL PAY
Tony, as he lays on a bed of nails with a giant ice cube on his chest: This is the 18th level of the Perkis System… You’ll all be doing this by Labor Day.
Tony- You’ve been a good boy Nicholas, a good guard…your queen would be proud. Reward yourslef with this sweet, chocolate kiss.
Nicholas- Throw it over.
Tony- But it will smoosh
(Nicholas walks over to grab the kiss)
Tony- Oops…butterfingers.
(Tony gets Nicholas in a headlock)
Tony: Do it to it Lars.
Tony: (Glide, Stride) Only film the ones who are standing, Kenneth
tony: COME HERE YOU DEVIL LOG!
Tony: Congratulations. You’ve just joined the 76 percent of Americans who forget to stretch before physical activity.
Tony: Do it to it Lars!
Lars: With pleasure Tony.
Tony: Do it to it Lars!
Lars: My pleasure Tony
TONY: hightail it back to camp lars.. it’s gonna be a rough one
Tony: I know each and every one of you… because I was you.
Tony: I see a famous rap artist, i see a ceo of a fortune 500 company, i see the president of the united states of america Jerry: he’s from england
TONY: Lunch will be cancelled today do to lack of hustle…deal with it
Tony: Oh we have a comedian! I love comedians. Perhaps I can book you on a tour.
Tony: Ok Josh step on the scale
(Josh steps on)
Tony: OK STEP OFF
Tony: Only film the ones who are standing Kenneth. Sliiiiiiiiide..striiiiiiiiiiiiiide…sliiiiiiiiide…
Tony: Put the fruit trays away. The insects will be out soon.
Tony: There are so many myths about the abdominal muscles. I’m happy to finally put this one to rest.
Tony: You picked the wrong man to mess with.
Josh: I didnt know I was messing with a MAN!
Tony: Your a negativity spreader, and I won’t have it.
Tony:all of the lights here ahve been donated by my father..yiu’ve probably heard of him..the lightning fixture king..
Uncle Tony we need some rest. Rest ok thats a good idea. Well take a 1 hour meditation break and then we’ll climb that 1000 foot rock face over there with our bare hands and feet, until then obserbe the scielence of the chi.
Uncle Tony’s gonna do a little demo!
was that one of those fish and chips farts nicki?
We already know eachAHthers’ names
We’re not teaching them about sports, we’re teaching them about life!
We’re Perkisizing!
when on the hike cody falls and tony says: leave him, hes a straggler(to himself) i know, i was
when tony is running through the woods, sees pat the counselor and yells, I’M DOGGIN IT PAT, and then picks a large log and continues running
who’s seamore butts no ones esammore butts then you uncle tony
Woooooo! (clap clap clap) So entertaining! The cinematography! The editing techniques! But I must say…the villain was a bit over the top.
You gained 9 pounds, have you been cheating?
You have all done much better than i have thought, that is why i have decided to extend the hike indefinatly. Your not going to return to camp untill your in the meanest, leanest, bestest shape of your short little lives.
YOU have failed and YOU will pay
You’re a good guard, Nicholas. Strong. Fair.
You’re sending me to Fat Camp? You’re fatter than i am. Why don’t you go to camp!
You’ve been a good guard Nicholas, wise and strong. Your queen would be proud. I have a chocolate kiss for your good work. Oops, butterfingers.
you’ve been a good guard nicholas…strong…fair…your queen would be proud
you’ve broken my camera
YOU’VE BROKEN MY CAMERA!!!
Your a negativity spreader Finely. your contaminating my wealth and i won’t allow it
[ Everyone Is Assessing Results ]
[ Gerry Gets On Scale ]
[ Tony Sees Gerry Has Gained Pounds ]
You’ve gained 9 pounds! Have you been cheatin’? Huh?
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Heavyweights’: Quotes from the movie ‘Heavyweights’