1) FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! You are going through one of those *what does it all mean* stages aren’t you? 2) Yes, very much so indeed
1) I will now sell five copies of the three EP’s by the Beta Band. 2) Do it.
1) I will now sell three copies of the 3 EP’s by the Beta Band 2) Do it.
1)Forgive me if I don’t think of you as the world’s safest bet. 2) Would you marry me if I was? 1)What brought all this on? 2)I don’t know. I’m just sick of thinking about it all the time. 1)About what? 2) This stuff. Love, and settling down… and marriage, you know? I want to think about something else. 1)*sarcastic*I changed my mind. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I do! I will!
1)I wanna date a musician…2)I wanna live with a musician…3) and we could sit around and write songs all day, and maybe even include one of our little private jokes in the liner notes…2)or maybe even a picture of me somwhere in the liner notes…1) but just in the back ground somwhere….
1)I’m too tired not to be with you.
2)What, so if you had a bit more energy we’d stay split up, but things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all, you want to get back together? Is that it?
1)Yeah.
1)Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
2)No. I only have a few left, I’ve been saving them for later.
1)Right. It’ll have to be sex, then.
2)Right. Right.
1)Not alphabetical. 2)Nope. 1)What? 2)Autobiographical. 1)No fucking way!
1)rob we’re called sonic death monkey 2)sonic death monkey 1)yeah and if luara and her bushwacked lawyer friends cant take it fuck them let ’em riot we’re sonic fucking death monkey
1)The other girl, or other women, whatever. I mean, I was thinking that, they are just fantasies, you know? And they always seem really great, because there’s never any problems. And if there are, they are the cute problems, like we bought each other the same Christmas present, or she wants to see a movie I’ve already seen, you know. Then I come home… and you and I have real problems, you don’t want to see a movie I want to see, period. There’s no lingerie… 2) I *have* lingerie! 1) You have *great* lingerie! But you also have cotton underwear that’s been washed a thousand times, and it’s hanging on the thing, and… And they have it too, it’s just that I don’t have to see it, because it’s not in the fantasy… I’m tired ot the fantasy, cause it doesn’t really exist. And there are never really surprises and it never really… 2)Delivers? 1)Delivers. Right.
1)What’s wrong with the Rightious Brothers?! 2)Nothing, I just prefer the other one– 1)Bullshit!! 3)How can it be bullshit to state a preference?
1)What, are you guys stealing for other people?
2)That is so discriminatory!
1)Oh, so you’re slamming to Joni Mitchell now?
2)You don’t know anything about us! You think you know what we listen to?
1)I think you have more!
1)whats wrong? (while eating)2)luara’s dad died 1) oh drag (continues eating
1.)Did you really expect me to say yes?
2.)I didn’t really think about it, I thought asking was the important thing.
1.)I knew this was going to happen! This always happens!You move in, she goes! You move in, she goes!
2.)Shut up mom!
1.)Showing up at my house, ten phone calls a night…
2.)I’ve stopped all that now.
1.)You were there this morning.
1.)So what do you call him? Ian or Ray?
2.)Ray, I hate Ian
1.)I hate him too
1.Hey Liz. 2.Hi Rob, you fucking asshole!!!
1.Hey, do you have soul? 2.That all depends. (phone rings Back row right next to the blues.
1: Why’d you have to tell her about the store? 2: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don’t have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy.
1:Do you have I just called to say I love you? 2:Yes. 3: Can I have it? 4:No. 5:Why not? 6:Because it’s tacky sentimental crap thats why. Do we look like a store that would sell that song. Do you even know your daughter, theres no way she likes that song. Oh Im sorry, is she in a coma?
1>Rob it’s your turn. 2>Ok, I’m feeling kinda basic today. Top five side ones, track ones. Janey Jones, Clash, from the Clash. Let’s Get It On, Marvin Gaye, From Let’s Get It On. Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit, from Nevermind. 3> No. No. Rob, that’s not obivious at all, why not Point of No return from Point of No Return. 2> Ok, just shut up! White Light, White Heat, Velvet Underground. 1> That would definitely be on my list. 3> Though not on mine. 2> Last one is Under Attack, No Protection, the ablum is Radiation, Ruling the Nation. 3> Awww, kinda of a new record, very- 4> uh excuse me-3> in a minute very nice rob, a sly declaration of new classic status slipped in with a couple of old safe ones, very PUSSY!
(1) He offended me with his terrible taste!
(2) It wasn’t even his terrible taste! It was his daughter’s!
(1) I just prefer this one.
(2) Bullshit!
(3) How can it be bullshit to state a preference?
(1) Since when did this shop become a fascist regime?
(2) Since you brought that bullshit tape in!!!
A sly declaration of new classic status slipped in with some old, safe ones. Very pussy.
A while back, me Dick and Barry agreed that what really matters is WHAT you like, not what you ARE like. Books, records, films, these things matter! Call me shallow, it’s the fucking truth.
Allison MARRIED Kevin!!!!
I am fine now!!!
Alright, we have a 9 percent chance of getting back together.
And I’m tired of that. I’m tired of everything else, for that matter. But I never seem to get tired of you.
And she LIKED me, she liked ME, she LIKED me…at least I think she did.
Anyway, I’ve started to make a tape. In my head. For Laura. Full of stuff she’ll like. Full of stuff that will make her happy. For the first time, I can sorta see how that’s done.
Are you defending that ass muncher? C’mon, Rob.
Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It’s the new Belle and Sebastian–
Rob Gordon: It’s a record we’ve been listenting to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that’s unfortunate, because it sucks ass!
Barry: The night Laura’s Dady died. Motha what a night it really was! Brotha what a night it really was! Shana na nana na nana na nana na!
But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash’s autobiography, Cash by Johnny Cash.
But now, congratulations Laura, you’ve made it to the top 5. Nuber 5, with a bullet. Welcome.
Charlie you fucking bitch, lets work it out!
COSBY SWEATAAAAAHHH!
Desert island, all time, top five most memorable breakups, in chronological order are as follows.
did i listen 2 pop music cuz i was miserable or was i miserable cuz i listened 2 pop music?
Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
Did you ever see Gene Simmons less than 300 feet tall? No, and you won’t.
Do I listen to pop music because I’m miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?
Do I listen to pop music because I’m miserable?
Or am I miserable because I listen to pop music
Fetish properties are not unlike porn.
Get your Patchouli stink, OUTTA MY STORE!
He offended me with his terrible taste.
Here’s the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for YOU….SPECIAL!!!
Hi Rob. YOU F*CKING A$$HOLE!!
high
Holy sheiat what the fuck is that!!!!
How does an average guy like me become the number one lover man in his particular postal district?
I always had this feeling she was going ot leave me for one of them. Then she left me for one of them.
I can see I never really commited to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future, and… I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing. Keep my options open. And that’s suicide… by tiny tiny increments.
I can see now that i never really committed to Laura…I always had one foot out the door…and that prevented me from doing a lot of things,like thinking about my future…i guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open…and that’s suicide by tiny tiny incrimites
I can see now that I’m doomed to die a long, slow, sufficating death…and I try and figure out why. Of course there’s envy: why isn’t my life like this? Sure I want their money and clothes and jobs and opinions. And I’d like to have advice on jet lag, but that’s not it. I mean they’re not bad people and I’m not a class warrior, it’s something else.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but can I go to work now?
I can’t fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.
I can’t fire them. I hired these guys for 3 days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was 4 years ago.
I can’t fire them. I hired them to work three days a week, and they just started showing up EVERY day… That was four years ago.
I could’ve wound up having sex back there.
I could’ve wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn’t be sleeping with a person, you’d be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture. It’d be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren’t Rocky.
I didn’t know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don’t have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, you know. Not a business strategy!
I get by because of the people who make a special effort to shop here. Mostly young men who spend all their time looking for deleted Smith’s singles and original, not rereleased, Frank Zappa albums.
I knew there was a reason I wore a skirt today.
I lost it all: faith, dignity, about 15 pounds…
I swear to God, if you’d have ripped this, it’s vintage and I will f*cking sock your nose
I wasn’t interested in any of her nice qualities, just her breasts
I would have to say my all time favorite book is Johnny Cash’s autobiography, Cash by Johnny Cash.
I’m gonna tell you this for your own good pal, that’s the worst fucking sweater i’ve ever seen, It’s a Cosby sweater, a Cosby sweater!
I’m not going to walk out of Laura’s dad’s funeral in a sulk.
I’m not going to walk out of Laura’s dad’s feneral in a sulk.
I walk out of Laura’s dad’s funeral in a sulk.
I’m tired of the fantasy
I’m too tired not to be with you
I’ve been following my gut since I was 14 years old.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have sh*t for brains
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains!
If you really wanted to mess me up you should have gotten to me earlier!
If you really wanted to mess me up, you should’ve gotten to me earlier
If you ripped this it is vintage and I will fucking smack your nose.
Is it better to burn out than to fade away?
is that peter fucking frampton?
Is that Peter fucking Frampton?!
It just seems that you think it would be wiser to start a record label by putting out a record with business-crippling Nazi youth shoplifters than with someone you know in your bitter, jealous heart is a musical visionary.
It was as if breasts were little pieces of property that had been unlawfully annexed by the opposite sex and were rightfully ours, and we wanted them back.
It’s a mystery of human chemistry, and I don’t understand it, some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just feel like home.
John Dillinger was shot dead behind that theatre in a hail of FBI gunfire. You know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. He just wanted to see a movie.
Laura: Art Garfunkel and Marvine Gaye both make pop records. Rob: Made, made, Marvin Gaye’s dead; his father shot him.
Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm. Rob Gordon: No. I only have a few left, I’ve been saving them for later. Laura: Right. It’ll have to be sex, then. Rob Gordon: Right. Right.
My relationship with Allison Ashmore lasted for 6 hours.
No woman in the history of all time is experiencing the pleasure you are having with Ian… in my head!
No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian in my head.
Number 3… Tell Laura I Love Her– that would bring the HOUSE down, Laura’s mom could sing it!
Number five with a bullet.
Oh okay buddy. I didn’t know it was ‘pick on the middle aged square guy’ day. my apologies. i’ll be on my way.
Ok buddy, uh, I was just tryin’ to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care.
One moment they werent’ there – not in any form that interested us, anyway. And then the next, you couldn’t miss them. They were everywhere. And they’d grown breasts.
Quick Rob, top 5 crimes perpetrated by Stevie Wonder in the 80’s; subquestion, is it better to burn out than to fade away?
Rob Gordon: It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that’s happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.
Rob Gordon: Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.
Rob! Looky. Looky. Dick are you gettin’ some? Un-fuckin-believable! Dick’s gotta a hot date! How’d this happen Dick? What rational explanation could there possibly be? What’s her name? Anna. Anna? Anna conda? Anna Moss. Anna Moss? Is she all green and fuzzy and mossy? And you met this bruiser where exactly? The home for the mentally challenged , or blind or bus station? No I met her here and she asked me about the Green Day album and I said-AHHH man….finally! Anna! That’s great…..Dick! Really smoke that ass!
Rob, top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the 80s and 90s? Go…sub-question…is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?
Rob–and I’m telling you this for your own good–that’s the worst fucking sweater I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s a Cosby sweater!! A COSSSSSBY SWEATAAAH!!
Rob: Are you saying that sex is a basic human right? Marie deSalle: Hell yeah!
Rob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians.
Laura: No, it’s really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records.
Rob: Made! Made! Marvin Gaye was shot by his father!
Rob: Marvin Gaye is responsible for our whole relationship! Laura: I’d like to have a word with him then.
Rob: So Charlie, why’d you break up with me for Marco? Charlie: Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! I knew it! I knew it!
sentimental music has this great way of taking you backsomewhere at the same time that it takes you forward, so you feel nostalgic & hopefull all at the same time.
Seriously man, that is the worst f*cking sweater I have ever seen. It is a Cosby sweater….A Cosby Schweata
She didn’t make me miserable or ill at ease, it wasn’t terrific it was just good. Real good.
She does this thing in bed when she can’t get to sleep where she rubs her feet together and even number of times and sort of half-moans…it kills me.
She lives in an Ian-less universe.
She’s in the F*CKING phone book! She should be living on Neptune!
She’s a myth, a legend! Not somebody in the phone book!
She’s in the phone book! She’s in the fucking phone book! She should be living on Neptune! She’s an extra terrestrial, a ghost, a myth, not a person in a phone book!
She’s kind of a Sheryl-Crow-meets-a-post-Partridge-Family-pre-LA Law-Susan-Day…only…black.
Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
Shut up, mom! Goddamn, that’s some cold shit!
Since when did this store become a facist regime?
Slut.
So then I asked her if she ever thought of meeting other people, and she said Of course, so I admit that Yes, I daydream from time to time. But now I can see what we were really talking about, her and Ian. And she suckered me into absolving her. It was a sneaky loiterous trick, and I feel for it because……..well because she is smarter than me
Some people never get over the Vietnam War, or the night their band opened for Nirvana.
Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.
That Is The Ugliest Sweater I’ve Every Seen In My Life. It’s A Cosby Sweater!!! A Cosby Sweater!!!
the day laura’s father died
The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up is hard to do – it takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick it off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you gotta take it up a notch -but you don’t wanna blow you wad, so then you gotta to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules…
the musical moron twins
The night Laura’s Daddy died. Shana na nana na nana! Brotha what a night it really was! Motha what a night… anginas really tough!
There is no way your daughter likes Stevie Wonder
Three … I miss her smell .. and the way she tastes. It’s a mystery of human chemistry and I don’t understand it … some people as far as your senses are concerned, just feel like home.
Top five things I miss about Laura:
One – Sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. And she’s got one of the best all-time laughs in the history of all-time laughs. She laughs with her entire body.
Two – She’s got character…or at least she had character before the Ian nightmare. She’s loyal and honest and she doesn’t even take it out on people when she’s having a bad day. That’s character.
Three – I miss…her smell…and the way she tastes. Its a mystery of human chemistry and I don’t understand it. Some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just…feel…like home.
I really dig how she walks around. Its like she doesn’t care how she looks or what she projects. And its not that she doesn’t care, its just…she’s not affected I guess. And that gives her grace.
and Five – She does this thing in bed when she can’t get to sleep. She kind of half-moans and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times. It just kills me
Top five things that I miss about Laura…
Wait a minute… Dick, are you getting some? Rob, Dick’s getting some!
We’re no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We’re on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.
We’re no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We’re on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.
Well, I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
What came first – the music or the misery?
What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns or watching violent videos afraid that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands, of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery, and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
WHAT F*CKING IAN GUY?!?! No one in her family is named Ian! None of her friends are called Ian! There is no Ian in her office! I am positive she doesn’t know or has ever known anyone named Ian! She lives in an Ian-less universe!
What fucking Ian guy?
What sheeeaat! What the fuck is that?
What would you say, if I said, I never saw Evil Dead 2 yet?
what would you think if I said to you ‘I haven’t seen Evil Dead 2…yet’?
When that little shitbag came to me it wasn’t rape because I said ok, but it wasn’t far off!
who brings the heat
WouId you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something other than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire.
You don’t have to go this SECOND. You can stay until whenever.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘High Fidelity’: Quotes from the movie ‘High Fidelity’