#1 He was in the garage playing with the glue gun again.. #2 Did I burn down the joint?..I don’t think so, i was making ornaments out of fish hooks! #3 my NEW fish hooks?! #2 i can’t make ornaments out of the old ones, with dried worm guts stuck on em!
#1 Yeah, kids are scared of the dark #2 your afraid of the dark too Marv #1 No I’m not #2 you are too. #1 not not not!
#1- I send her a check. #2- Wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a Big Bird knitted on it. #1- Oh, that’s nice. #2- Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that. #1- Oh. #2- Yea, I’ve got a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas.
#1- Marv? #2- Harry? #1- Why’d you take your shoes off? #2- Why are you dressed like a chicken???
#1- You’re not at all worried that something might happen to him? #2- No, for three reasons. A, I’m not that lucky. 2, we have smoke detectors and D, we live in the most boring street in the United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.
#1- I’m Mitch Murphy I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We’re going to Orlando Florida, well actually first we’re going to Missouri to pick up my Grandma. Did you know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it’s cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage? #2- Gee kid I don’t know hit the road.
#1- Okay half in this van and half in that van. #2- Have a good trip. Bring me back something French.
#1…Al, Leo, Flip, you been smooching wit’ everybody #2 No it’s a lie.
(1)Who is it? (2)Its me Snakes I’ve got the stuff. (1)Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here. (2) All right Johnney, but what about my money? (1)What money? (2)A.C said you had some dough for me. (1)That a fact…how much do I owe you? (2)A.C said 10%. (1) Too bad A.C aint in charge no more. (2)Whatta mean? (1) He’s upstairs takin a bath, he’ll call you when he get’s out…Hey I tell you what I am gonna give you Snakes.
(1)You ever hear of the South Bend Shovel Slayer? (2) No. (1)That’s him. Back in’58 he murdered his whole family and half the people on the block with the snow shovel. Been hiding out in this neighborhood ever since. (2)Well, if he’s the Shovel slayer, how come the cops don’t arrest him? (1)Not enough evidence to convict. They never found the bodies, but everyone around here knows he did it. And it will just be a matter of time before he does it again. (2)What’s he doing now? (1)He walks up and down the street every night salting the sidewalks. (2)Maybe he’s trying to be nice. (1)No way. See that garbage can filled with salt. that’s where he keeps his victims. The salt turns the bodies into mummy’s.
(Marve) what if he calls the cops, (harry) what from a tree house
(MUM)::somebody pick up,PICK UP.(OFFICER)::sorry mam
(puts the package of soldiers on counter) It’s for the kids!
1) but they got nude beaches, right? 2)not in the winter.
1) Can I sleep in your room. I don’t want to sleep in the hide-a-bed with
Fuller. if he has something to drink, he’ll wet the bed.
2) I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!
1) He’s calling the cops!
2) From a tree house?!
1) Heather, did you count heads?
2) Eleven including me. Five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers, and
a partridge and a pear tree.
1) Hey you, watch out for traffic! 2) Sorry… 3) Santa don’t visit the funeral homes, little buddy.
1) Hey, by any chance, did you pick up a voltage adapter thing?
2) No, I didn’t have a chance.
3) How am I supposed to shave in France?
4) Grow a goatee
1) Hi, are your parents
home?
2) Yeah.
3) Do they live here?
4) No.
5) No. Why should they. All kids, no parents. Probably a fancy orphanage.
1) Hi, I’m Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We’re going to Orlando, Florida. Well,
actually, first we’re going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Do you know
that the McCalisters are going to France? Do you know if it’s cold there?
Do you know if these vans get good mileage?
2) Gee kid, I don’t know. Hit the road!
1) How could we do this. We forgot him.
2) We didn’t forget him. We miscounted.
3) What kind of mother am I?
4) If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading
glasses.
1) I don’t like the way that kid looked at me. You see that?
2) Ever seen him before?
3) I saw a hundred kids this week.
1) I know I heard that name ‘snakes’ before.
2) Snakes … I don’t know no snakes
1) Is it true that French girls don’t shave their pits?
2) Some don’t.
1) But they got nude beaches.
2) Not in the winter.
1) Kevin, Get up stairs! 2) I am upstairs Dummy! 3rd Floor?? 1) Fuller will be up in a bit. 2) NO, he’ll pee all over me!!
1) Marv?
2) Harry?
3) Why the hell did you take Your shoes off?
4) Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
1) Pardon me, are you’re parents home?
2) Yeah, but they don’t live here
1) Say good night, Kevin! 2) Good night Kevin.
1) There is no way on earth we’re going to make this plane. It leaves in
forty-five minutes!
2) Think positive, Frank
3) You be positive. I’ll be realistic
1) We made it! 2) Do you believe it. I hope we didn’t forget anything…
1) We’ll go to the back door. Maybe he’ll let us in. You never
know.
2) Yeah, he’s a kid. Kid’s are stupid.
1) What else could we be forgetting?
2) KEVIN!!!!
1) Where’s your mom?
2) My mom’s in the car.
3) Where’s your father?
4) He’s at work.
5) What about your brothers and your sisters.
6) I’m the only child.
7) Where do you live?
8) I can’t tell you that.
9) Why not?
10) Because you’re a stranger
1)Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here. 2)You have to pay for your pizza, sir. 1)Is that a fact?
1)That’s what meghan said 2)What did I say? 1) you told Kevin tough 2) the dope was whining about his suitcase.. what was I suppose to do shake his hand and say congratulations you’re a idiot?
1-Who is it?
2-Johnny? It’s me,Snakes. I got the stuff.
1-Leave it on the door step and get the hell out of here.
2-AC said you got some dough for me.
1-Is that a fact? How much do I owe ya?
2-AC said ten percent.
1-Too bad AC ain’t in charge no more.
2-What do you mean?
1-He’s takin a bath I’ll have him call you when he gets out.
I’ll tell you what I’m gunna give you snakes, I’m gunna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly yella, no good keister offa my property, b4 I pump your guts fulla lead.
2-Alright Johnny I’m sorry, I’m goin.
1-1….2…10! Mwahahahahahahaha, Keep the change ya filthy animal.
1. He’s calling the cops! 2. He’s not calling—from a tree house?!?!
1. Maybe he’ll let us in, you never know! 2. Yeah! He’s a kid, kid’s are stupid!
1. What happened
2. somebody beat us to the job.
2. They were talking, then started arguing, one blew the other one away. He said his name was snakes.
1. Snakes snakes, I don’t know no snakes.
2. He sounded like a snake.
1.) Excuse me, are your parents home? 2.) yes 1.) Do they live here? 2.) No.
1.do you know if those microwavable dinners are any good? 2. i don’t know; i’ve never tried them. 1.i’ll give ’em a whirl. ::picks up toy soldiers:: 1.for the kids. 2.are you here all my yourself? 1. ma’am, i’m only 8 years old. 2.where’s your mom? 1.shes in the car. 2.where’s your dad? 1.he’s at work. 2.your brothers and your sisters? 1. i’m an only child. 2.where do you live? 1. i can’t tell you that. 2. why? 1.because you’re a STRANGER.
15 people in this house, and you’re the only one who has to make trouble!
1: Did anybody order me a plain cheese? 2: Yeah, we did but if you want any somebody’s gonna have to barf it all up, cause it’s gone.
1: Did anybody order me a plain cheese? 2: Yeah, we did but if you want any, somebody’s gonna have to barf it up, cause it’s gone.
1: Everybody in this family hates me. 2: Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family. 1: I don’t want a new family, I don’t want any family, families suck. 2: Just stay up there, I don’t want to see you for the rest of the night. 1: I don’t want to see you for the rest of my whole life.
1>We’ll come back later when it’s dark.
2>Yeah, kids are ascared of the dark.
1>You’re scared of the dark too Marv.
A lovely cheese pizza just for me.
A plain cheese pizza just for me!
AHHHHHH
All the great ones leave their calling cards. We’re the Wet Bandits!!!
Allow me to introduce myself, Gus Polinski How are you? Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? No? That’s okay I thought you might have recognized– …Anyways I had a few hits a few years ago. That’s why I… Polka, Polka, Polka?(singing) Polka, polka, polka… No? Twin Lakes Polka… Domavougi Polka A.K.A. Kiss me polka…polka twist?
Allow me to introduce myself, Gus Polinski How are you? Polka King of the Midwest? The Kenosha Kickers? No? That’s okay I thought you might have reconizrd– …Anyways I had a few hits a few years ago. That’s why I… Polka. Polka, Polka?(singing) Polka,polka,polka… No? Twin Lakes Polka… Domavougi Polka A.K.A. Kiss me polka…polka twist?
Because your a stanger
Bless this highly nutricious, microwaveable, macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale, AMEN!
Bring me back something french!
Buzz your girlfriend..woof!!
buzz, dont be a moron
Buzz, your girlfriend.. WOOF!
Buzz…your girlfriend..WOOF!
Buzz: ever heard of knocking, fligm-wad? Kevin: Buzz, can I sleep in your room? I don’t want to sleep with Fuller, if he has something to drink, he’s gonna wet the bed. Buzz: I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!
Buzz: Hey check it out, Old Man Marley
Can we take a direct flight to reality, or do we have to switch planes in Denver?
Did any one order me a cheese pizza.
Do you know where the shampoo is?! No. I can’t believe that in a house with this many people theres no shampoo!
Do you smell chicken bock
Don’t worry about me. I spoke with your husband already, and don’t worry
about your home. It’s in good hands
Excuse me, is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?
Excuse me, M’am? Is this toothbrush approved by the American
Dental Association?
Get up stairs. I am upstairs you dummy (mom points to attic) the third floor it’s scary up there! Fuller will be up in a minute. Fuller you know how he is he wets the bed, he’ll pee all over me!
Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!
Harry- Well, Where to now? Marv- Well, you promised you’d take me to the central park zoo.
harry:why the hell did you take your shoes off?
marv:why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?
haven’t you ever heard of knocking flemwad?
He went shopping? He doesn’t know how to tie his shoes, he’s going shopping?
Herb, we’ve got a question here about a toothbrush.
Hey Marv. Look at this. I think we’re gettin’ scammed by a kindy-gartener !
Hi ya Paaaal!
Hmm a nice cheese pizza all to my self
How fast does this thing go? Does it have automatic transmissioning? Does it have four wheel drive?
How low can you get giving Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next? Rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?
How you kids doing, huh? Good? Lot of action around here today, huh? Going on a vacation? Where you going? You hear me or what? You going on a trip? Where you going, kid?
I can’t sleep with him he’ll pee all over me.
I don’t want a new family. I don’t want any family. Families suck!
I got milk, eggs, and fabric softener.
I had a few hits a few years ago. That’s why I… Polka, Polka, Polka?(singing) Polka, polka, polka… No? Twin Lakes Polka… Domavougi Polka A.K.A. Kiss me polka…polka twist?
i hope you didnt just pack crap
I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can’t seem to find my toothbrush, so I’ll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I’m in good shape.
I wish they all just disappeared
I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room, if you were growing on my ass!
I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room…if you were growing on my ass!
i wouldnt let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass
I’m a criminal.
I’m desperate. I’m begging … from a mother to a mother … please!
I’m dreaming…of a white christmas, just like the ones i used to know..*puts on aftershave* AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
I’m FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I’m free! Free free free!
I’m going to give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yella, no good keyster off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1, 2, 10!!!!!
I’m Kevin McCalister. Instead of presents this year, I just want my family
back. No toys, no presents … and if he has time, my Uncle Frank too
If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.
If Uncle Frank says no, then it must be really bad.
im gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly yellow no good keister off my property, before i pump your guts fulla lead. 1,2,10!
Is it true that French babes don’t shave their pits?
It’s too late. Get upstairs.
Jimmy, stop that boy!
keep the change ya filthy animal
keep the change you filthy animal
Keep the change you filthy animal!
Keep the change, you filthy animal.
Kevin you’re such a disease
Kevin, Get Upstairs Right Now.
Kevin, I’m going to feed you to my tarantula
KEVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM???
KEVIN, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM???
Kevin, you’re such a disease!
Kevin: This house is so full of people it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married I’m living alone did you hear me? I’m living alone, I’m living alone.
Kevin:Mama you think I would be here alone?I don’t think so.
leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here
Linny:I hope you didn’t just pack crap Jeff. Jeff:Shut up Linny!
Listen, Kevin, what are you so worried about? You know that Mom is going
to pack your stuff anyway. You are what the French call Les Incompetent.
Look what ya did now ya little jerk
Look what ya did, ya little jerk.
Look what you did you little jerk
Look what you did you little jerk.
look what you did, you little jerk!
Look what you did–you little JERK!
Mam, im 8 years old, do you think i’d be here ALONE? I odn’t think so.
Mom, does Santa Claus have to go through customs?
Mom- say Goodnight Kevin
Kevin- Goodnight Kevin!
My gold tooth. My gold tooth. I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him!
My new fish hooks??????????
No clothes on anyone! Sickening!
No clothes on anyone. Sickening.
Pack my suitcase?
Peter!
We slept in!!
Police Guy: You want us to send someone to your house just to check and see if anyone is home? Mom: YES!!!!!!!!
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree.
Rose, hyper on 2! Hang on please…
Rose, hyper on two.
Run Rudolph Run.
Santa Claus is comin’ to town.
Santie don’t visit the funeral home little buddy.
SHIT!
(Marv when he was trying to break in and his shoe went in the house)
shut up
snakes snakes?/ i dunno know no snakes
Somebody pick up. PICK UP!
That’s real. That’s real crystal. It’s real. Put them in you purse. Put em, put em, put em. Just…PUT THEM IN YOUR PURSE! Uhhh, fill it up, fill it up, fill it up please. Thaaank you.
The Kenosha Kickers.
The little jerk is armed!
There are 15 people in this house and you’re the only one who has to make trouble.
There are fifteen people in this house, but you’re the only one who seems to cause trouble.
this house is so full of people it makes me sick..when i grow up im living alone…did you hear me IM LIVING ALONE!
This house is so full of people, it makes me sick! When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone. You hear me? I’m living alone! I’m living alone!
This is it. Don’t get scared now.
This is my house i have to defend it!
Tuff, Thats what Megan said. What did I say? You told Kevin tough! The dope was wining about a suitcase what was I supose to do shake his hand and say congratulations your an idiot!
Two scoops sir? Make it three, I’m not drivin’
We sold 500 copies of Polka, Polka, Polka. It was mostly around Sheboygan.
We’re going to Orlando, Florida.
Were goin out the window
were the wet bandits
shutup you idiot
When i grow up and get married and have kids, I’M LIVING ALONE! Hear me?? I’M LIVING ALONE!
When i grow up and get married, i’m living alone!!!!!!!
When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone.
where are you little creep?
White Christmas.
You are what the French call ‘Les Incompetent.’
You are what the French call Les incompatant!
You are what the French call Les incompétent.
you better hope your parents got you a tombstone for christmas
you dive bomb me with one more can kid, and im gonna snap off your cajones and boil ’em in motor oil
You guys give up, or you thirsty for more?!?
You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means
you keep using that word.i do not think it means what you tkink it means
You know you’re one of the great cat burglars, Marv. You think you can
keep it down a little in there? Huh?!
You left the water running again didn’t you?
You’re completely helpless!
You’re what the french call, le incompetant
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Home Alone’: Quotes from the movie ‘Home Alone’