#1- I can’t take it anymore. The idea of you out there dead and me all alone back here with the smoke and the bullets. I can’t take it. #2- Are you serious? #1- I can’t stay here. #2- Okay, But remember serpentine!
#1- It’s Germany before Hitler you can see that! I don’t know what people are going to do when a six pack of Budweiser cost $1,200.00.
#1- Next time we’re in Tejada Shel don’t let me forget, they make a chicken sandwich down here…they serve on a hard roll, they heat it up…with oragne juice you know grande…a big one or pineapple juice and coffee. Do you take coffee Shel? Expresso with the beautiful foam…OH JEEZ PIGS!
#1-Alright relax. Now the thing, we’ll call it the thing okay Shel but you know we’re talking about the engraving, the thing will be out of your house in 2 hours. A man calling himself ‘D. Tracy’ will come to your home wearing galoshes give him the thing.
#1-I was in the jungle – the bush we called it – for approximately nine months… #2-Nine months! That must have really been something!
#1-It was. I saw things… They have tsetse flies down there the size of eagles.
#1-I’m Sheldon Kornpett #2- Shelly I’m just thrilled to meet you. Tommy tells me you were the first dentist ever to use that drill that spritzes water.
#1-Remember Shel, D. Tracy – galoshes.
#1-The enormous flies flapping away slowly into the sunset…small brown babies clutched in their beaks. #2- Beaks? Flies with beaks?!
#1-The enormous flies flapping away slowly into the sunset…small brown babies clutched in there beaks. #2- Beaks? Flies with beaks?!
#1-You sure these are flies you are talking about? #2- Flies. The natives had a name for them Jose Greco de Muertos, flamenco dancers of death.
#1-You were involved in the Bay of Pigs? #2-Involved? That was my idea.
-Dad and his mysterious phone calls.
-What the hell do you mean by that?
-Nothing. You’re just always making these weird calls in back rooms and pay booths…
-You little snot-nose! Those phone calls put you through college!
-Did we hit the little boy on Sixth Avenue?
-No, we missed him by a good foot and a half.
-I was in the jungle. The bush we called it. For approximately nine
months…
-Nine months! That must have really been something!
-It was. I saw things. They have tsetse flies down there the size of
eagles!
-You were involved in the Bag of Pigs?
-Involved? That was my idea.
1. Aqua Frio! 2. Awww, he wants cold water Shell, that’s what he’s saying.
1) And now you’ve probably made me radioactive with that fecal nuclear waste in my pocket! 2) I bet you’ve never said that sentence before in your life!
1) How many kills do you have ? 2) …six! 1) Six only ? 2) Uh… since Christmas! 1) Aah. People think we’re insane. They do not know the joy of holding a man’s beating heart in the palm of your hand. 2) That is a good feeling. 1) Oohhh….. moan of ecstasy
1) Oh great. My least favorite person. 2) You want to do something about it, fanny boy ?
A : It’s very nice to have a wife. But as a man, there are certain things I can only do with… other men… B : Like… golf ?
A: I was on my way here, excited about my submarine, and then I realized something. B:… A: Do you want to know what it was, that I realized ? B:uh… yes… A: I was more excited to see YOU! I am attracted to you physically, which for me is very strange, because I find homosexuality DISGUSTING ! B: It’s a big subject…
A Hop in ! B Look I’m not… HOPPING anywhere with you !
(Upon jumping off a building’s roof on a parachute) – A : There’s gonna be a slight…jerk B : You’re so much more than a slight jerk !!! A : That’s not very nice…
(Upon jumping off the roof of a building on a parachute)A: There’s gonna be a slight…parachute opens…jerk B: You’re so much more than a slight jerk ! A: That’s not very nice…
In Chinatown…1) This place is gonna knock your socks off ! They walk through the door of a chinese restaurant with improbable food hanging around, ducks and so on. A Chihuahua, sitting on the threshold, barks at them. 2) whispering to his wife: At least the dog looks fresh…
A ZEE?!?
Always the bridemaid, never the bride.
Are you coming, sweet Cobra?
Are you interested in joining? The benefits are terrific. The trick
is not to get killed. That’s really the key to the benefit program.
BEAKS! Flies with beaks!?!
can we have a sedative for shell here general
Don’t Rape me!
Don’t think of it as a problem. Think of it as an opportunity for a solution.
Flies… with BEAKS?
He who is tardy, pays for the party !
He who is tarty, pays for the party.
He’s a rogue agent. I mean it — he’s dangerous. He took me on a plane to France!
i left those slides in a suit i had martinized, they would have won me a pulitzer prize
I’m curious to know more about wet bone.
I’m such a good driver, it’s incomprehensible they took my license away.
Is that a fanny pack?
Is the freeze dried? It’s really good.
Is this coffee freeze dried? It’s really good.
It’s Now Or Never.
It’s over the water to Scranton Pennsylvania?
Jer, you really have to work on your listening skills.
Just go with flow Shell, just go with the Flow.
What flow? There isn’t any flow
Memories.
Mom, when I opened the door i thought they were strippers!
My car has flames!
Oh Jesus, Pigs!
Oh, Jesus, Pigs!
Oh, no! This is about the tax return, isn’t it?
Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head.
Remember Shell, D. Tracy, galoshes.
See you in four days.
Serpentine, serpentine.
Serpintine, Shel! SERPINTINE!!!!
Six thousand a year tuition to liston to this?
so I’m in france, because of submarine piss….. ?
STOP WITH THE SOUP!
The fat cobra.
The fungus on your toes is coming back.
There’s a lot of red-tape in the bush.
There’s no reason to shoot at me, I’m a denist.
They weren’t caterers! They were a man and his wife, and… lettuce!
This man was caught stealing from me. Now, were this one year ago, I would torture him to death. But, I’ve made some personal growth. You notice it, right ? Yeah well I’m calmer now. I’m more centered. I spent some time with Deepak Chopra – he wrote ‘Molecules of emotion’ and ‘Natural healing for anxiety and depression’. I have learned how to forgive. Voyez. Walks up to the thief Run for your life ! Grabs bodyguard’s uzi and starts shooting at the guy who runs away screaming. Well, I know I need to do more work on myself…
Very nice. A little greasy, but very nice. Crumble some crackers into it Shell, that will help to absorb the grease.
We are deep undercover.
We’ve got the FBI on us like trailer trash on Velveeta.
Wedding Day.
Weddings are not about the bride and groom.
What’s wrong with you ? something’s really WRONG !
You guys, my father wouldn’t buy a russian sub – he won’t even buy a foreign car !!!
You have no reason to shoot at me ! I’m a dentist !
You have to stop and smell the roses.
You Never Take an Early Lunch?
You should crumble up some saltine crackers in there, Shell, it will absorb the grease.
You think you can get me tickets to Celine Dion?
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘In-Laws, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘In-Laws, The’