. . . Not to mention this would be the worst movie since Greedo shooting first.
rite hey dude u seem to have a go at all these ppl misquoting the movie, shut the fuck for christ sake, its like u molding ur life on to jay n silent bob, u sad pathetic fuck get a life its a bit of fun. u no there is an outside world, were u can have friends, n if u can get any get ur daddy to buy um im sure that punk ass faggot suks ya cock all nite so im sure he’ll do that for ya, im out ur shit dawg,
(1) So how do you like dem apples? (2) I don’t know about dem apples man. (2) What are we gonna do? (3) It’s Hunting Season [pulls out a shotgun] BAM! (2) Applesauce, bitch.
(Brent): Hey, Mr Science guy, don’t spray that aerosol in my eye, for……for I don’t really wanna die…I’m a noble rabbit.
(Jays mom)Alright, Dontcha fucking move ya little shit machine k moma’s gonna try to score.(guy) What the hell, hey lady whose watching these babies (jays mom) Fat one’s watching the little one (guy)nice parenting leave them out here and see what happens (jays mom) Fuck you, you fucking square (guy)keep on truckin’ (jays mom) did ya hear that fucking tell me how to fucking raise you. What a fucker man who’s he fucking think he is Whats the worst fucking thing that could happen to you sitting in front of a fucking store fuck.
(loud Fart) Crissy: HOLY SHIT, the little stoner was right
(silent bob makes hand motions.) (Jay) What The Fuck Are You Tryina Say Man? (Silent Bob) THE SIGN ON THE BACK OF THE CAR SAYS CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD!!!! (Jay) Say It Don’t Spray It.
(slap) fuck you fatty
(song)15 bucks little man
Put that shit in my hand
(THE RIGHT QUOTE FOR JAY’S RAP!!)
fuck fuck fuck motha motha fuck motha motha fuck fuck motha fuck motha fuck noise noise noise 1-2-1-2-3-4 noise noise noise smokin weed smoking weeze doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers rollin fatties smokin blunts who smokes the blunts? we smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smokin em (uh let me get a nickle bag?) fifteen bucks little man put that shit in my hand if that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe
(While watching the news, also a part from a cut scene and also an ending to a scene that was cut short)
Randal: See, I told you that restraining order worked.
Dante: I still don’t get your ABC joke.
Randal: OF course you don’t (Part was cut out)
Holden: At times like these, I miss dating a lesbian!
(Cut scene)
Brodie: Oh youse guys!
Steve-Dave: This store sure does suck ass, doesn’t it, Walt?
Walt the Fanboy: Tell ’em, Steve-Dave!
Brodie: You guys are both banned.
Steve-Dave: Wait un-ban us and he’ll suck your dick.
Walt the Fanboy: NO!!!!
*into megaphone* Maybe they’re one of those gay couples… Oops.
*oh no not again Ben!* Bull shit I wasnt with a hooker today!
…but my tubby husband over here? he LOVES the cock
1) Girls don’t really like to be called bitch 2) What about slut? 1) No 2) What about boo boo kitty fuck? 1) That’s a start
1) Girls don’t really like to be called bitchs jay 2) What about fine peices of ass? 1) how about NOT 2)what the fuck then? 1) somthing sweet ya big goof 2)boo boo kitty fuck? 1) Well that’s a start
1) LET ME GET A NICKEL BAG! 2) FIFTEEN BUCKS LITTLE MAN. PUT THAT SHIT IN MY HAND. AND IF THAT MONEY DOESN’T SHOW THEN YOU OWE ME OWE ME OWE.
1) Miramax? I thought they only made classy flicks like The Piano and The Crying Game?
2)Yeah, well once they made She’s All That, everything went to hell.
1)(fart)Holy shit! The little stoner was right!
2)I can’t believe it! Months of planning and it’s blown by a fucking fart!
1)…gathered all their animals except for one, an orangatan
2)The most dangerous animal known to man…
1)and might i add, that is one fine lookin boy you’ve got there.
2)hell yeah, thats cuz he’s from my sperm!
1)Did they say who was fucking playing us in the movie? 2)Well, it’s Miramax, so they’d probably put Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. They put them in lots of movies together. 1)Who?
1)Fire a warning shot into his bulbus ass
2)One rectal Breech comin’ up
1)heres one called moviepoopshoot.com 2)ha poop shoot
1)Shit…he’s retarded to boot 2)Dude she just called you retarded!
1)the only thing i see here is a political fiasco that im about to avoid by letting this butt-fucking brady bunch go.
1)we’re shooting at you one, because we’re walking talking bad girl cliches and two, because your a man 2)only on the outside…
1)Ya sure watever Fucky 2) it’s Banky,sir 1) I said It’s Fucky
1-You da man, sir. 2-No, you da man…..and that’s the problem!
1. Are you down with this for the pussy? 2. No, i’m down with this cuz i loooove animals!
1. heres your coffe sir. 2. Got spit in it? 1. no 2. boogas in it?
1. no… 2. taste I know its in there tatse the booga flavor. 1. its all good sir. 2. no it anit now pick that shit up.
1. Hey man, you’re doing this for the fine ass pussy, am I right? 2. No, stupid. I’m doing this because I looooooooooove animals!
1. Stop stealing monkeys. 2. Fuck you. 3. Fair enough.
1. The internet? What’s that?
2. It’s a place used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography together.
1. This coming from the guy who pretends to be Shaft instead of the guy who takes the shaft.
2. I don’t hear you complaining every night.
1. You’re the man 2. No, you’re the man, and that’s the problem!
1.)Hey, nice movie you fuckin’ tracer.
2.)You!
1.)That’s right son’f’bitch. I’m back for round two. Waaa!
1.)Zoinks, yo! 2.)Dooby snacks!
1.THE SIGN…ON THE BACK OF THE CAR THAT CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD, YOU DUMB FUCK!!!! 2. Say it don’t spray it
1.Why are you shooting at me? 2.because you’re a man 3.Only on the outside.
1.yes now we can solve the mystery of the hitch hiking ghouls! 2. oh why do we have to solve the hitch hiking girls? 3. ghouls, you fuckin moron, not girls! .. i wish they were hitch hiking girls ..
1: can i get a dime bag? 2: Fifteen bucks little man, put that shit in my hand, if that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe. My jungle love ohe ohe ohe. I think I wanna know know yeah what. 3: what the hell are you singing?
1: Why the hell are you shooting at me? 2: Two reasons. One – we’re walking, talking bad-girl cliches! 3: And two – ’cause you’re a man!1: Only on the outside.
1>..Now your not so good will hunting. How do you like them apples? Chuckie> I don’t like the sound of them apples Will. What are we gonna do? Will> it’s hunting season (shotgun blast)!! Chuckie> Applesauce Bitch!!
Boy 1: Jay said you guys had a ‘Star Wars’ theme wedding, and you tied the knot dressed like stormtroopers. Boy 2: And he says you’re the bitch, and you’re the butch. Dante: I’m the Bitch? Randall: Well, if we were gay that’s the way i’d see it.
Chaka – Does yo’ daddy know you give a nigga his coffee? It would kill him wouldn’t it?
Assistant – Your coffee, sir….
Chaka – Any boogers in it?
Assistant – No Boogers
Chaka – Taste it! Taste the boogers, I know their in there
*Drinks Coffee*
Assistant – Its all good, sir
*Knocks it out his hand*
Assistant – You the man, sir
Chaka – No! You the man and thats the problem!
Cock-Knocker: Don’t fuck with a Jedi-Master, son.
Daphne: I don’t think that they’re hitchhiking girls, either. Velma: Ghouls, you fucking moron., not girls. I wish they were hitchhiking girls– sexy hitchhiking girls.
Federal Marshal – well its not my way but I’ll be damned if there doesn’t go one happy family . Alright Gang lets just shoot some tear gas into the dinner when the guys come out with the monkey. WELL FUCK BEANS! (looks at cop) that was then wasn’t it?
Hitchhiker: Don’t be so suburban. It’s the new millenium. Gay, straight– it’s all the same now. There are no more lines. Jay: Well, there’s a line, and on this side of it, we ain’t gay.
Holden: The internet is a communications tool used the world over, where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
Jay’s Mum: All right, don’t you fucking move, you little shit machine. Momma’s gonna try and score.
Jay: (Rapping) Fuck, fuck, fuck, mother, motherfuck, mother, motherfuck, fuck. Motherfuck, motherfuck, noise, noise, noise. One, two, one, two, three, four. Noise, noise, noise, smokin’ weed, smokin’ wizz. Doin’ coke, drinkin’ beers. Drinkin’ beers, beers, beers. Rollin’ fattys, smokin’ blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts. Rollin’ blunts and smokin’-
Jay: (referring to the orangutan) Holy fuck. Is that thing waving at us?
Jay: All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You all are the ones who are ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is makin’ the movie, we’re gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit that’s made up of our shit that we made em’ eat. And then all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.
Jay: Dude, I think I just filled the cup.
Jay: Hi, I’m Jay, and this is my hetero life-mate, Silent Bob.
Jay: I am the Clit Commander!
Jay: I can’t believe fine-ass bitches like yourself eat that shit. Don’t you know fast food makes girls fart?
Jay: I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy, and Tubby here’s my black manservant.
Jay: Say it, don’t spray it.
Jay: Think I can get a little blow job for good luck?
Jay: This little monkey could be the fuckin’ damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won’t spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks will start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh, when only those as super-smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry: You maniacs! Damn youse! God damn youse all to hell! Shit, not on my watch, motherfucker. Die, you super monkey fuck!
Jay: What is it a fucking crime to fart? Motherfucker!
Jay: What? I have a wiping problem. I stick those little pieces of paper up my brown eye and BAM– no shit stains in my undies. What you don’t believe me? Let me show you. Check this out. Spread my cheeks so that he can see the fucking stick nuggets.
Jules Asner: In a posting pulled off of moviepoopshoot.com, the gruesome twosome threatened, and I quote: ‘Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax’–expletive deleted–‘who are making the Bluntman and Chronic movie, we’re gonna make them eat out’–expletive deleted–‘then’–expletive deleted–‘out out’–expletive deleted–‘then eat their’–expletive deleted–‘which is made up of our’–expletive deleted–‘that we made them eat’, unquote.
Jussy: Well, your plan worked. The news is all about Jay, Bob, and your C.L.I.T.
Missy: Your shit is so tired, Justice. Jussy: Call me, Boo-Boo Kitty-Fuck… bitch.
Reg: At this point, what can you tell us about the C.L.I.T? Willenholly: From the intelligence we’ve been gathering, we’ve discovered that the C.L.I.T is actually a tiny offshoot of the L.A.B.I.A. Reg: Uh, the Liberate Apes Before Imprisoning Apes movement? Willenholly: Exactly.
Reg: In this chilling clip, they make it very clear that they are in control of the C.L.I.T.
Reg: The Provasik animal-testing facility in Boulder was the focus of an attack by a terroristic primate rescue syndicate calling themselves the Coalition for Liberation of Itinerant Tree-dwellers, or simple C.L.I.T.
Reg: What response do you hope to elicit from the C.L.I.T? Willenholly: It’s a difficult situation. You don’t want to rub the C.L.I.T the wrong way.
Sheriff: One rectal breach coming up.
Sissy: Yeah, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Jussy. Jay: Sure it is, Juggs. Missy: Oh, My God. He just called Sissy ‘Juggs’
Willenholly: I might add that’s one fine-looking boy you’re raising there. Jay: Hell, yeah. That’s ’cause he’s from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours who I fuck on the side, so I’m not to be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here , he’s 100% queer. He loves the cock. Willenholly: Well, he certainly looks insatiable.
Willenholly: Stimulation of the C.L.I.T. is not recommended.
Check this shit out Lunchbox! Animal Tranquilizers! This shit fucks you up lik Percocet!
A long time ago, in front of a convenience store far, far away…
Affleck you the bomb in Phantoms yo!
Affleck! You the bomb in Phantoms YO!
Affleck, you rocked in Phantoms!
Affleck: Affleck was the bomnb in phantoms.
Jay: Word bitch, phantoms like a motha fucker.
Affleck: yes, i remember the course, but frankly i found it rather elementry
guy: i seem to remember it being directly between breakfast, and lunch
affleck: are we gonna have a problem… again?
guy: i was just HOPING you could give me some INSIGHT into the southern colonies of France. See wood says…
Damon: What did i say, what did i tell you? you would be back here, regurgitating Gordon Wood… but you forgot about Vickus
guy: Oh i read vickus, so im up on inhereted wealth, but it seems you are no longer the angry young mind, hitting the books with a vengence like you once were. Now ive read shit you havnt even HEARD of yet, it seems you are no longer that good… will hunting. Now how do YOU like dem apples?
Affleck: I dont like the sound of those apples will! what are we gonna do?
Damon: It’s hunting season!
Affleck: Apple sauce bitch!
After you finish, you say ‘Oh what a lovely tea party’.
Ain’t that about a bitch?
All my god, he just called Sissy ‘Jugs’
ALL YOU FAGS ARE FUCKIN CLOWN SHOES U COULDNT PULL A QUOTE OUT OF YOUR ASS WHAT KINDA SITE WOULD LET YOU PUT THESE SHITY ASS QUOTES ON THERE SITE I MEAN COME ON THE ONLY ONE THAT I SAW THAT WAS SPELLED RIGHT WASNT EVEN FROM JAY AND SILENT BOB SKRITE BACK IT WAS FROM MALLRATS I MEAN I CAN TELL NONE OF YOU ARE GOOD FANS OF KEVIN SMITH (THE WRITER OF JAY AND SILENT BOB SKRITE BACK, MALLRATS, CLERKS, DOGMA, AND CHASING AMY FOR ALL THE QUOTE UNQUOTE FANS WHO DONT KNOW THAT)THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL ME JAYS REAL NAME GETS A COOKIE DAMN YOU ALL SUCK AT QUOTES
All you mother fuckers are gonna pay. YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS! We’re gonna fuck you’re mothers while you watch and cry like little whiney bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks, we’re gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit and make them eat that shit that was made up or our shit that we made them eat, then, all you little fucks are next
Love,
Jay and Silent Bob
All you motherfuckers are gonn pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. Were gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making that movie, were gonna make em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made em eat. Then youre all fucking next.
Love,
Jay and Silent Bob
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the
ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like
little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who
are making that movie, we’re gonna make ’em eat our shit, then shit out our
shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made ’em eat.
Then you’re all fucking next.
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who are making the movie, we’re gonna make ’em eat our shit, then shit our shit, then eat their shit which is made of our shit that we made ’em eat. Then all you motherfuckers are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.
All you motherfuckers will pay! You are the ones who are ball-lickers!
Allright, don’t ‘cha move ‘ya little shit machine, mommy’s gonna try and score.
Excuse me, who’s watching these babies?
uh, the fat one’s watching the little one?
Oh, nice parenting. Leave ’em out here like that and see what happens to ’em!
Oh yeah, well fuck you ‘ya fuckin’ square!
Aaah, keep on truckin’!
Can you believe that fuckin’ guy telling me how to fucking raise you?!What the fuck? I mean what’s the worst fucking thing that could fucking happen to you sitting outside a fucking store! Fuck, man!
alright dont you fucking move you little shit machine your mamas goint to try to score. what the hell whos watching these babys. ahh the fat ones watching the little one. oh nice parenting leave them out here and see what happens. Yo fuck you ya fucking square. aw keep on truckin. did you hear that fucking guy telling me how to fucking raise you mother fucker man who the fuck does he think he is whats the worst fucking thing that could happen to you standing in front of a fucking store right fuck
alright now don’t you fukin move you lil shit mishicin your mother is goin try and score. hey lady who’s watching these babies auh.. the fat ones watching the little’ hu thats great. leave them out here and see what happen. a yo fuck you you funkin square. ah keep on truckin. you hear that guy try and tell me how to fukin rasie you. mother fuker whats the worse fukin thing that can happen that happen to sittin out side fukin store. fuck.
And i’m a junkie with a monkey
And on that note we cue the music.
and sometimes you do reindeer games
and when it’s all over you say ooh what a lovely tea party.
And when it’s all over, you say ‘Ooh, what a lovely tea party!’
Applesauce, bitch. Ben Affleck tells the ponytail guy after gettig blown away with a shotgun while filming for Good Will hunting: Open Season.
Applesause BITCH!
Assistant: You’re the man sir. Chaka: No, you’re the man, and that’s the problem.
assistant: your the man sir.
director: no, your the man, and thats the problem!
Attention residents of Utah, stimulation of the CLIT is not reccomended!
Avenge me… Hemp…Knight….
aww god i’m…paralyzed! that monkey shot me in the ass and…PARALYZED ME!!! ooooh sweeeeeet irony!
Banky mother fuckin Edwards!
Banky: I’m so fucking embarrassed.
Hooper-X: Well, honey, you should be. Took your characters and turned them into one 90-Minute long gay joke. It’s like watching Batman and Robin again.
Banky: Thanks. That means a lot coming from the guy who pretends to be Shaft as opposed to the guy who takes Shaft.
Hooper-X: Uh-uh. I don’t hear you complaining nightly.
Banky: Stop the movie? What are you, crazy?
Jay: All these assholes on the internet are calling us names because of this stupid fucking movie.
Banky: That’s what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously. Stopping the flick isn’t gonna stop that.
Jay: This isn’t fair! We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin’, we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker!
Banky: You know what? I feel for you boys, I really do, but Miramax – you know, Miramax Films – paid me a shitload of money for Bluntman and Chronic. So it occurs to me that people badmouthing you on some website, is NONE OF MY FUCKING CONCERN!
Silent Bob: Oh, but I think it is… We had a deal with you, on the comics remember, for likeness rights, and as we’re not only the artistic basis, but also obviously the character basis, for your intellectual property, Bluntman and Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky, you are in breach of the original contract, ergo you find yourself in a very actionable position.
Jay: Yeah.
Bill Cosby didn’t need a tracer. He did it all himself… and it was very funny!
BITCH! MY MAN AIN’T YOUR BABY’S DADDY
Bluntman & Chronic is the worst comic I ever read. Jay and Silent Bob are stupid characters. A couple of stoners who spout dumb-ass catch-phrases like a third rate ‘Cheech and Chong’ or ‘Bill and Ted’. Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses
Bluntman and Chronic is the worst comic I ever read. Jay and Silent Bob are stupid characters. A couple of stoners who spout dumb-ass catchphrases like a third-rate Cheech and Chong or Bill and Ted. Fuck Jay and Silent Bob. Fuck them up their stupid asses.
Bobs Mum: Bobby boy Stay Here while mummy picks up the free Cheese K?
(puts hat on baby bob) This’ll Keep the Sun out of your eyes, You be good Now
(Jays Mum Puts baby jay next to baby bob) Jays mum:Alright Dont you Fucking Move ya Little Shit machine, K? Mommas GOnna Try to Score
Passer By:What the Hell, Scuse me hey Whose Watching these babies?
Jays Mum:Err the Fat ones watching the little one
Passer By: oh Nice Parenting leave em out here and see what happens
Jays Mum: (Gives Finger) (Sounds Like Yo)yea Well Fuck you ya Fuckin Square
passer By: Keep On Trolking (never heard of that Word :S
jays mum:You Hear that Fucking guy Telling me how to raise you what a fucker man, whose he Fucking Thinks he Is, whats the Worst fucking thing that can Hapen to you standin outside a fucking store, Fuck (walks in to Quick Stop)
BONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
boo boo
Boo Boo Kitty Fuck
boo boo kitty fuck!
you remembered!
boo boo kitty-fuck!
boo-boo kitty fuck
Booooooong!
Brent (Singing): Hey Mr. science guy, don’t spray that aerosol in my eye, I, I don’t really wanna die…I’m a noble rabiiiit.
Brent: Hey there Mr. Science guy dont spray that Aerosol in my eye I dont really wanna die- Im a noble rabbit
Jay: What are you guys like a cover band or somethin?
Missy: We’re from the Kansas State chapter of SAAC – Student Against Animal Cruelty
Chrissy: And we’re on our way to Colorado to give them a piece of our mind.
Jay: What the fuck are you bitches babblin about?
Brent: Watch the language boy, there females present.
Jay: What kind of animals are we talkin about? Bears, Rhinos and shit?
Brent: No, more like rabbits, birds, dogs cats, even monkeys. If we dont do something who will? Right Jessie?
Jessie: Right Brent…
Jay: Yo Brent, can i talk to you over here for a second?
Brent: Sure.
Jay: Admit it, youre down with this because of the fine ass pussy right?
Brent: Im down with this cuz i loooove animals stupid.
Jay: You like sheep?
Brent: Of course, sheep are beautiful creatures.
Jay: So you’d fuck a sheep right?
Brent: Whats your damage little boy? You have a sick and twisted world perspective.
Jay: You’re misunderstanding me Brent… If you were a sheep, would you fuck another sheep if you were a sheep?
Brent: Since you put it that way, you bet your ass I would.
Jay: Thought so… YO THIS MOTHER FUCKER AINT ONE OF US HE SAID HED FUCK A SHEEP! (Jay throws Brent out of the van)
Jay: Now whos stupid, dirty sheep fucker?!?
Brodie: And on that note, let’s cue the music.
Jay: Meh Meh Meh
Brodie: Leh Leh Leh Leh
Jay: Meh Meh Meh
Brodie: Hmm-mmm
Jay: Meh-Meh- Meah
Brodie: Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh Meh
Brodie: And on that note, we cue the music-
Jay: Maa maa maa-
B: bleh neh neh neh-
J: Maa maa maa-
B: Bleh Bleh-
J: Maa maa maa-
B: Meh meh mow mow-
J: Mow meow mow-
B: Bleh bleh bleh blen meh meh meh meh
Call me Darth Balls! BOOOONG!
Call me Darth Balls, BONNGG!
Call me Darth Balls… Bong!
Chaka! Call Dawson off!
Chaka, I will not be upstaged by VanDerbeek!
Chaka: Look at all these crakers…$70 Million and I can’t even get a black grip…that’s a shame…its a damn shame!
White Kid: Here’s your coffee sir.
C: You spit in this?
WK: I didn’t spit in it sir.
C: Any boogers in it?
WK: There’s no boogers in it sir.
C: Went to film school didn’t ya? Must piss you off to see a black man run the big ol’ production like this huh? You went to film school. Does yo’ daddy know that you give a nigga his coffee? It would KILL him wouldn’t it?!
WK: There’s no boogers in it sir.
C: Then taste it. Taste it! Taste the booger flavor I know it’s in there.
*White Kid drinks coffee*
WK: It’s all good sir.
*Chaka slaps coffee outof white kid’s hands*
C: NO IT AIN’T ALL GOOD! Now clean that shit up. That’s right, get me a white-boy…Get me a blonde hair white-boy so I can enjoy that shit.
WK: You da man sir…
C: No! You da man, and that’s the problem.
Chris Rock: seasme street the white man came up with that shit i was gonna call it NWI NIGGAS WITH PUPPETS
Coalition for Liberation of Itinerary Treedwellers C.L.I.T.
CockKnocker: You Thought I’d Never Find Your Precious BluntCave Didnt You Hemp Knight
COME ON GUY’S, LET’S GO BACK TO THE STATION AND CORNHOLE US A DRUNK.
Come on lunchbox.
come on silent bob, we’re going to hollywood…
Crissy: Brent, tell these guys girl don’t fart..Brent: Of course they dont, only skeevy stoners fart.
damn, all of you wanna-be kevin smith fans need to go and sit in a room together, rent Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and take some serious notes. i have never heard anyone misquote parts of a movie as bad as these.
peace out of chi-town,
Labs420
Dawson’s crack
Devil Jay 1: What the fuck are you waiting for? She went for the setup. Reach in your pants and pull your cock out, bitch. Girls like that kind of shit.
Devil Jay 2: Right about here’s where the angel’s supposed to show up and tell you not to pull your dick out, but we bitch-slapped that motherfucker and sent him packing, so it’s smooth sailing. Let him rip, boy.
Angel Jay: Jesus loves the little children. Oh, sorry, I’m late. So what’s the deal here? Oh shit, don’t tell me you’re thinkin’ of whippin’ your dick out at this fine piece of woman, are you? Tell you what. Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks it’s a good idea to whip your dick out. (Silent Bob shakes his head) That’s it, boy. Put the dick down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv bullshit’s gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta go beat the shit outta 2 sucker-punching bitches. Remember, don’t pull your dick out until she asks or until she’s sleepin’. BYE!
Did you hear that fucking guy telling me how to fucking raise you?! Mother fucker man. Who’s he fucking think he is? What’s the worst fucking thing that can happen to you staying outside a fucking store right? Fuck!
Did you know that I came up with the idea of Sesame Street? That’s Right. I came up with it before PBS. I was gunna call it NWP, Niggas With Puppets. Catchy ain’t it?
did you write that last won adam
Die super monkey Fuck!!
Die, you super-monkey fuck!
Director: Man, this is gonna make House Party 1, look like House Party2 2.
Assistant: Or House Party 3.
Director: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Do somethin tons of fun!
Do something Tons of Fun!
Do sumthin
Do sumthin tons of fun!
Do you know that i came up with the idea for Sesame Street?
I came up with it before PBS.
The white man stole it, That’s right.
I was gonna call it N.W.P….
Niggas With Puppets, Catchy ain’t it?
Do you like snakes?
Of course, you shouldnt hate an animal because it isnt cuddily.
How about Trouser Snakes?? ;)
Does Your daddy know you bring a niggah his coffee?
Does your daddy know you serve a nigg** his coffee?….It would kill him wouldnt it!
does your daddy know you serve a nigga his cawfee?? It would kill him wouldn’t it??
Don’t fuck with a Jedi Master son
Don’t fuck with the Jedi Master, son!
Don’t move or I’ll shoot you right where you stand in your panzie red booties
Don’t you EVER say an unkind word about the Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fuckin lifes after Morris Day and Jerome! I’m a SMOOTH pimp who looooves the pussy, and tubby here is my black man-servant! WHAT!
Don’t you EVER say an unkind word about the Time! Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fuckin’ lifes after Morris Day and Jerome. I’m a smooooth pimp who looooooves the pussy, and Tubby here’s my black man-servant. WHAT!
Don’t you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy! And Tubby here is my black man servant! What!
dooby snacks!!!
dude you would last a day on the creek
Dude, its like were in a fucking cartoon.
EVERY ONE SO FAR HAS GOT THIS WRONG……….
– FUCKERS MAN!
– fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck mother fuck mother fuck noich noich noich, 1 2, 1 2 3 4 noich noich noich smokin weed smokin weed doing coke, drinking beers, drinking beers beers beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts who smokes the blunts? we smoke the blunts, rolling blust and smokin blunts and….
– Yo man can i get a nickle bag?
– 15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand, if that money doesnt show then you owe me owe me O. My jungle love owee owee o i think i wanna know ya know ya, yeah what.
Ewww! You eat the cock!?!
F*ck the police, F*ck , F*ck , F*ck the police.
F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, Motha Motha F*ck, Motha Motha F*ck, Motha F*ck Motha F*ck, Nyoonch Nyoonch Nyoonch, 1-2, 1-2-3-4, Nyoonch Nyoonch Nyoonch, Shmokin Weed, Shmokin Weed, Doin Coke, Drinkin Beers, Drinkin Beers Beers Beers, Rollin Fatties, Smokin Blunts, Who Smokes the Blunts, We Smoke the Blunts, Rollin Blunts and Smokin ’em…*Yo, let me get a nickle bag* Fifteen Bucks, Little Man, Put That Shit In My Hand, If That Money Doesn’t Show Then You Owe Me, Owe Me, Owe
F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, mother, mother f*uck, mother mother f*ck f*ck, mother f*ck, mother f*ck, noise, noise, noise. 1,2…1,2,3,4…noise, noise, noise….smokin weed, smokin wiz, doin coke, drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts…rollin’ blunts and smokin…(let me get a nicklebag)..15 bucks little man put that sh*t in my hand, if that money doesn’t show, then you owe me owe me owe, my jungle luv, owee owee owe, i think i want to know ya know ya…..yeah
F*CKBEANS! That was them wasn’t it?!
Federal Marshal- (looks at cop) oh god… this is the last thing I need. A bunch of uppity homosexual’s shooting there mouths off to liberal media that the federal wild life marshal office persecutes gays
Fifteen bucks, little man. Place that shit in my hand. If that money doesn’t show…then you owe me owe me owe.
My jungle love, I think i wanna know ya.
Fifteen bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn’t show, then you owe me owe me owe!
Fire a warning shot into his boulbus ass!
Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass. One rectal breech, coming up!!!
flee fatass flee
Flee Fatass FLee!!!
For fuck sake im discusted, do any of you know the correct quotes for this movie? Rather than guessing them to try and make you sound cool you little scrotheads, I suggest you watch the film and and get a fucking clue, aight poons?! WUT!
For the record, i’m not gay
For the record.. he LOVES the cock.
Fred: Now we can finally solve the mystery of the hitchhiking ghouls. Pull off their masks so we can so who they really are!
Velma: I don’t think they are masks.
Daphne: I don’t think they’re hitchhiking girls either.
Velma: Ghouls ya fuckin’ moron..not girls! I wish they were hitchhiking girls…sexy hitchhiking girls.
Fred: Lets kick’em out we’ve got a mystery to solve.
Shaggy: The only mystery is why we take our cues from a dick in a kneckerchief.
Fred: Keep it up Beatnick I’ll feed you to the fuckin’ dog.
Daphne: I can’t take all this fighting
FUCK BEANS
Fuck Beans that was them wasn’t it.
Fuck BEANS! That was them wasn’t it?
Fuck Beans!!!!
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck motherfuck motherfuck mother mother fuck fuck 123 noisenoisenoise, smokin weed smokin weed doin coke,drinkin beers drikin beers beers beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts who smokes the blunts we smokes tha blunts,rollin blunts and smokin-um lemme get a nikelbag-fifteen bucks lil man put that shit in ma hand if that money doesnt show than you owe me owe me owe! like jungle love, o-wie o-wie o, i think i wanna know ya know ya! yaaaaaaaa!
fuck fuck fuck fuck motha motha fuck motha motha fuck fuck motha fuck motha fuck motha fuck fuck noise noise noise one two one two three four noise noise noise smokin weed smokin whisk doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts who smokes the blunts we smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smokin blunts….(yo give me a nickel bag) 15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand if that money doesnt show then u owe me owe me oooo…my jungle love owey owey owe i like to get to know ya know yeah!
fuck fuck fuck mother mother fuck mother mother fuck fuck mother fuck mother fuck noise noise noise 1 2 1 2 3 4 noise noise noise smokin weed smokin weed doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers rollin fatties smokin blunts who smoked some blunts we smoked some blunts rollin blunts and smokin them *hey can we get a nickel bag* 15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand if that money doesnt show then you owe me owe me owe my jungle love oh ee oh ee oh i think i wanna know ya know ya
Fuck Fuck Fuck, Mother mother fuck mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck, mother fuck, noise noise noise, 1,2, 1,2,3,4, noise, noise, noise…Shmokin’ weed, Shmokin’ wizz, doin’ coke, drinking beers, drinking beers beers beers, rollin’ fatties, smokin’ blunts. Who smokes the blunts? we smoke the blunts. Rollin’ blunts and smokin—‘Let me get a nickel bag’ 15 bucks little man, put that shit in my hand, if that money doesnt show then you owe me owe me owe…my jungle love, yeah, owie owie oh, i think i wanna know ya know ya YEAH what?
Fuck Fuck Fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck, mother fuck, noich noich noich, 1 2, 1 2 3 4, noich noich noich, smokin weed smokin weed, doin coke drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers. Rollin fatties smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts, rollin blunts, we smoke – Hey can I get a nickle back? – 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe.
Fuck Fuck Fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, noich noich noich, 1 2, 1 2 3 4, noich noich noich, smokin weed smokin weed, doin coke drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers. Rollin fatties smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts, rollin blunts, toke back – Hey can I get a nickle back? – 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe.
Fuck Fuck Fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, noich noich noich, 1 2, 1 2 3 4, noich noich noich, smokin weed smokin weed, doin coke drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers. Rollin fatties smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts, we smoke the blunts, rollin blunts,smoke… Kids – Hey can I get a nickle bag.. Jay – 15 bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe. My jungle of love. Oye oye o. I think I want to know ya, know ya. yeah what? Kid- what the hell are u singing? Jay- You don’t know Jungle Love? That shit is the mad notes- written by God herself and handed down to the greatest band in the world the motherfucking Time. Kid- You mean the guys in that Prince movie? Other Kid- Yeah Purple Rain. Kid- That shit was so gay– fucking eighties style. Jay and Slient Bob look at each other.Then, grab the kid that said it and through him against the wall and Jay says Don’t never say an unkind word about the time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I’m a smooth pimp who loves the pussy and tubby here’s my black manservant. What?
fuck fuck fuck, mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck,mother fuck, mother fuck, noise noise noise,1 2 1 234 noise noise noise,smokin weed,smokin weed, doin cocke drinkin beers,drinkin beers beers beers,rollin fattys smokin blunts,who smokes the blunts we smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smokin um
Fuck fuck fuck..mother mother fuck, mother fuck mother fuck …..smokin weed smoking weed doing coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers rolling fatties smoking blunts who smokes the blunts we smoke the blunts rollin blunts and smoking …let me get a nickelback…15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand..If that money doesn’t show than you owe me owe me owe
Fuck fuck the police fuck fuck fuck the police
Fuck Jay and Silent Bob, Fuck them up their stupid asses
Fuck that fat fuck!
Fuck this asshole…Lets go cornhole oursleves a drunk
fuck u fatty
Fuck you fatty
Fuck, Fuck Fuck..Mother-mother fuck, mother-mother fuck-fuck…mother fuck mother fuck mother mother fuck fuck. Noise noise noise 1-2-3-4 noise noise noise schmokin weed schmokin weed doin coke drinkin beers drinkin beers beers beers. rollin blunts smokin blunt who mokes the blunt we smoke the blunts. ——15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand if the money doesnt show you owe me owe me oh. my jungle love…oh we oh we oh
fuck, fuck, fuck, mother-mother fuck, mother-mother fuck-fuck! Mother fuck-, mother-fuck, mother-fuck, noinch-noinch, noinch, smoking weed, smoking weed, doing coke, drinking beers! Drinking beers, beers, beers, rolling fatties, smoking blunts! Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts!
Fuck,Fuck,Fuck,Motha Motha Fuck, motha motha fuck fuck, motha fuck, motha fuck, noinch noinch noinch, 1 2 1234 noinch noinch noinch, smokin weed, smokin whizz, doin coke drinkin beers, drinkin beers,beers, beers, rollin fattys smokin blunts, who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts, rollin blunts and smokin……..
Yo,Let me get a nickelbag……
15 bucks little man, put that shit in my hand, if that money doesnt show then you owe me owe me oh, my jungle love, ooh ee ooh ee oh, I think I wanna know ya know ya, Yeah! What!
Fuck,fuck,fuck,mother mother,fuck,mother mother,fuck fuck,mother fuck,mother fuck, noise noise noise, 1,2 1,2,3,4 noise noise noise, smoking weed, smoking weed, doing coke, drinkin beers, drinkin beers beers beers, rollin fatties, smoking blunts, who smokes the blunts? we smoke the bluts, rollin blunts and smoking blunts, Hey let me get a nickle bag. 15 bucks little man put that shit in my hand, if that money doesnt show then you owe me owe me oh. My jungle, yeah, love oh e oh e oh, I think I wanna know ya know ya, yeah what? Man what the hell was that? You dont know Jungle love? That shits the mad notes written by God him self and handed down to the greatest band in the world. The mother fucking time! Isnt that the guy in the Prince Video? Yeah Purple rain. Man that shits so gay. Fucking 80’s style.
George Lucas gonna sue sumbody ass
get off my kool aid mutha fucker
Get off my kool-aid motherfucker!
Get off my koolaid!
Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season
got knocked in the cock by a guy named cock knocker
Guard: and when your finished you say oh what a lovely tea party
Guard> contray to popular belief not everyone his Hollywood is gay. Jay> okay how about he sucks my dick while you watch and jerks off? Guard> okay but make it sexy! Jay> come on it’s either this or prison and you know what they make you do in prison? Toss the salad!! Guard> I use to be a prison guard…and when you done say oh what a wonderful tea party we’re having
guy: now how do you like them apples? ben: i dont like the sound of them apples will what are we gonna do? matt: well jackie ben: yeah matt: its hunting season ::boom:: Ben: Applesauce bitch!
He *LOVES* the cock!
he loves the cock
He loves the COCK!
he loves thecock
here’s the pulse, and here’s your finger. far from the pulse and jammed straight in your ass. say does anybody want a chocholate covered pretzel!!
here’s your coffee sir. booger free.
Hey baby have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an over coat.
hey baby, did you ever have your asshole licked by a fatman in an overcoat?
Hey baby, ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
Hey baby, want ur ass hole licked by a fat man in an over coat!
hey baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat
Hey baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
Hey baby, you had your ass licked by a fat man in a trench coat?!?!
Hey Mr. Science guy, don’t spray that airisol in my eye, for I don’t, I don’t, I don’t really wanna die…I’m a nobal rabbit
Hey stop stealing monkeys.
~Fuck You!
Fair enough.
HEY THERE LITTLE MAN PUT THAT S*** RITE IN MY HAND!—HEY MR SCIENCE GUY DONT SPRAY THAT AEROSOL IN MY EYE!
HEY YO BABY! YOU EVER HAVE YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT GUY IN AN OVERCOAT?
Hey, if it’ll get me a couple hundred miles across the country, I’ll take a shot in the mouth.
Hi,I’m justice jay:and I’m so fuckin yours
Holy shit, I AM wearing pansy red booties! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?!
How about boo boo kitty fuck? (Justice) That’s a start
How bout PooPooKityFuck
How bout,Bitch my man aint yo baby daddy
how do you know he doesn’t smoke monkey pole
I AM THE CLIT CAMANDER!! WHEREVER YOU SEE A CLIT YOULL SEE THIS FACE
I am the clit commander
I am the clit commander!!
I am the clit commander!!!
I am the clit commander!!!—Lucky Owens
I am the clit commander…
I am the clit commander….wherever you see clit, you’ll see this face. No one works the clit like I can…not this tubby bitch, nobody. I make that shit work.
I am the leader of the clit, when you see the face think of the clit!
I am the Master oF All Clits. Remember this fucking face. When ever you see clit, you will see this fucking face. No one rolls a fucking clit like me, Not you little fuck, not this little fuck right here.
I am the master of the clit!. Remember this fuckin’ face, when ever you see clit you’ll see this fuckin’ face! I make that shit work. No one rules the clit like me, not this little fuck, none of you little fucks out there. I am the clit commander! When it comes down to buisness, its what I do. I pinch it like this, oh you little fuck, I rub my nose…
I am the master of the clit, whenever you see a clit you will see this face. Nobody rules a clit like me, not this fuck, not any of you fucks. I am the clit commander, but when its time to get down to business, ill be like, ooooooh yeah, come here you little fuck.
I am the pie fucker. In jail he’ll be the pie.
I can’t believe such fine bitches like yourselves eat that shit, don’t you know fast food makes girls fart?
i def. have a problem with you people misquoting this movie, either watch the movies and get the quotes right, or dont quote the movie.
I don’t like the sound of them apples Will. What are we gunna do?
i dont know what the fuck u just said little man…but you special..u reached up and you touched it by the heart..
I Dont Like The Sound’a Dem Apples Will!
I dont think they are masks.
(other girl): And they dont look like hitchhiking girls either
(first girl): GOULS ya fuckion moron, not GIRLS. But I wish they were hitchhiking girls… SEXY hitchhiking girls
I feel like I’m Han, you’re Chewbacca and we’re in that fucked up bar!
I fuck another girl on the side so as to not be all the way queer but my tubby husband here is 100% queer. HE LOVES THE COCK!
I hjate how fake hollywood is
I INVENTED SESAME STREET!! ‘Cept I called it something diffrent…NWP!! Niggahs With Puppets!
I just got hit in the balls by a guy called the cock knocker
I just got hit in the balls by a guy called the cock knocker.
i know this poor hapless son of a bitch does, i look into his sorry doe eyes and i see a man crying out, when lord when the fuck can ur servant ditch this foulmouthed little chucklehead to whom i am a constant victim to his foley so much so preventing him from ever getting to kiss a girl fuck when lord when whens going to be my time!
I like pie, but I don’t wanna eat a whole pie, I’ll feel sick.
I pinch it like this and then I go like that!
i really think all you guys need to check ur quotes and delete the duplicates
I said you love the cock. I gotta be the craftiest motherfucker alive.
I think George Lucas is gonna sue somebody!
I think i just filled the cup
I think i just filled the cup.
i want to put a bullet between the eyes of every panda who won’t screw to save its species
I wasn;t even supposed to be here today.
I wish i were an oscar mayer weiner, that is what id truly like to be, and if i were an oscar mayer weiner, everyone would be in love with me
i would jus like to say that i agree that these quotes should be filtered and only correct quotes used, but this guy who is clearly an elitest needs to realise that he is an asshole. dont doubt sumones knowlegde of a movie merely because they cannot remember a word or spell a pharse the incorrect way. if u where such a movie buff then u would go and correct the quotes and spell it correctly but by not doin so u prove that u may not even know the quotes urself. so if u wanna critise people fuck off sumwhere else and satisfy ur abusive side.
I’m a smooooth motherfucker who loves the pussy… and this here’s my black man servant, what!
I’m going to draw a chalk like around your dead fucking body, you fuck!!
I’m gonna finger fuck her tight little asshole, fingerbang, and tea bag my balls, in her mouth, where? where? in her mouth..balls a plenty, in her mouth..balls, balls, sweaty balls! (Deleted scene from dvd)
I’m gonna get some pussssy, for stealing the monkeeeeee
I’m gonna get some pussssy, for stealing the monkeeeeee!
I’m gonna kill all these fucks.
I’m Jay, this is my hetero life-mate, Silent Bob.
I’m only 1/2 gay but my friend here LOVES the cock
I’m paralyzed!! The monkey shot me in the ass and paralyzed me. Oh, sweet irony!!!
I’m scared of them apples.
I’m The Kraftiest Motherfucker Alive!
I’m the pie fucker!
I’ve got something that will turn those frowns upside down, I call them doobie snacks
IF A GUY’S GONNA’ GIVE ME A RIDE 200 MILES I’LL TAKE A SHOT IN THE MOUTH.
im going to let this butt-fucking brady bunch go
im hungry man where can we get something to eat
Im jay and this is my hetero life mate silent bob
Im not all that gay, but htis guy here, HE LOVES THE COCK
IM THE BITCH….well if we were gay thats how i would see it….
In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey…the monkey will spank us!
In this world gone mad, we won’t spank the monkey… the monkey will spank us!
It’s nights like this I miss dating a Lesbian.
It’s the 1st rule in the book!
It’s times like these that make me wish I was still dating a lesbian.
Jason Biggs – Whats going on with that gay huddle?
Other Dude – Jesus! Its just two guys talking in a corner. Your homophobic!
Jason Biggs – What?
Other Dude – Your always like….Look at that gay huddle, look at that gay dog!
Jason Biggs – Aww…Look at the monkey….
Other dude – Now your gonna tell me the monkeys gay!
Jason – I love gay people!
Other Dude – Ha! Im sure you do!
Jason – Not like that!
Jay – I’d like to offer a big gay thanks sir, we can tell all our gay friends that Utah is a gay friendly country for gays who are gay
Jay – Hell yeah that’s cause he’s from my sperm.See I knocked up this hot women friend of ours who I fuck on the side so not to be all the way gay (points to silent bob) but my tubby husband here he’s 100% queer. HE LOVES THE COCK!
Jay is Jayson Mewes.. and kevin smith doesnt write them. he produces and directs them shitface. i betyou fucking dont live in jersey and u probably dont get half the jokes. who give a fuck if the people on this site are fans or not. If you are such a fucking fan, then why arent you fucking spending your time doing something other than bitching at innocent people who may like a movie but are not obsessed with it, because to be on this site you dont have to be aobsessed with the movie to simply say your faverite quote, whether it is correct or not.
Jay is played by Jason Mewes….and yeh,I’m a little annoyed because people can’t get the quotes correct, especially since it isn’t very difficult. But,I’m not gonna yell at them and call them name about it. Damn,it is just a movie. Can’t we all get along? O-yeah,and I also don’t like how there is like 20 of the same quotes over and over again ,and most of them are wrong-that needs to be fixed! o-well, peace and love
jay to van der beek…yo, you’re the dawson. you ever get with that joey chick?
Jay’s Mom: Alright don’t fucking move ya little shit machine. Okay Momma’s going to try an’score. Dude: What the hell?? Excuse me, who’s watching these babies? Jay’s Mom: Aah…the fat one’s watching the little one. Dude: Oh nice parenting. Leave’em out here like that see what happens. Jay’s mom: Yo fuck you ya fucking square. Dude: AH! Keep on Truckin’. Jay’s Mom: Did you hear that fucking guy tell me how to fucking raise you. What a fucker man. Who the fuck does he think is? What is the worse fucking thing that could happen outside a fucking store. Right!?! FUCK!!!
Jay’s mom: Alright don’tchya fuckin move ya little shit machine… mommy’s gonna try and score. Guy: What the hell? Excuse me… who’s watchin these babies? Mom: Uh the… fat one’s watchin the lil’ one? Guy: Oh nice parenting… leave ’em out here like that see what happens. Mom: Know what fuck you ya fuckin square. Guy: Eh, keep truckin’. Mom: Didja hear that fuckin guy tellin me how to fuckin raise you? motherfucker man who the fuck does he think he is? what’s the worst fuckin thing can happen to you standin outside a fuckin store?… fuck!
Jay’s Mom: Hey fuck you, Ya fuckin’ square! Man: Ahh…Kepp on truckin’!
Jay’s real name is Jason Mewes. Wheres my cookie BITCH!!
Jay- (slap hands) WORD bitch! Phantom’s like a murtha fuckerrrr
Jay- Do not shoot! DON’T SHOOT! Were just uhhh trying to take our son out on a hostel environment
Jay- hell yeah that’s cause he’s from my sperm. See I knocked up this hot women friend of ours who I fuck on the side so not to be all the way gay (points to silent bob) but my tubby husband here he’s 100% queer. HE LOVES THE COCK!
Jay: This sucks balls man. How come we aint gettin’ no rides
Hitch hiker: Cuz you doin it all wrong. You gotta give the drive a little insentive.
Jay: Like what?
Hitech hiker: Like this: ~hold sign~ (Will give head for rides)
Jay:Yeah, but what happens when they pick you up and you don’t make with the head. Don’t they kick your ass to the curb.
Hitch hiker: Sure, if you dont make with the head
Jay and silent: Nods…~SHOCKED LOOK~
Hitch hiker: Yeah. Hey if it will get me a couple hundred miles across the country…I’ll take a shot in the mouth
Jay: Yeah but we aint gay
Hitch hiker: Don’t be so suburban. Its the new millenium. Gay, strait, its all the same now. There is no more lines
Jay: Well theres a line, and on this side of it we aint gay.
Hitch: Hey all the hitchers do this. Why do you think people pick us up? If you get a ride, its expected. I don’t care who the driver is. Its the first rule in the book.
Jay: What book
Hitch: The unwritten book of the road.
Hitch hiker gets in truck:::
Hitch: Follow the rule of the book boys and youll get where your going in no time. ~head bobs down on trucker~
Jay: Fuckin’, we came to Hollywood, I fell in love, we stole a monkey, I got shot at…and I got punched in the mother fuckin’ nuts by a guy named Cock Knocker. We ain’t goin home empty handed.
Jay: Hey baby ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
Jay: I just got hit in the balls by some guy named Cock Nocker.
Jay: It’s a Mirimax Flick, we gotta bust it up so people stop calling us names on the internet..even thought they’re not really talking about us but charaters based on us and at the same time find my ex-girlfriend, who was killed in a car explosions, monkey.
Pumpkin: I don’t know what the Fuck you just said little kid, but you special…you reached down and touch a brother by the heart
Jay: This isn’t fair! We came to Hollywood, I fell in love. Fuckin’, we got shot at, we stole a monkey, and I got punched in the motherfucking nuts by a guy named Cock-Knocker!
Jay: Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn’t we used to ride that shit to school every day for free?
Jay: we don’t smoke pot, yo
cop: no pot, eh? then what do you use these for?
Jay: what, i got a wiping problem, i just stick one of those pieces of paper in my brown eye and BAM, not shit stains in my undies. What you don’t believe me? here, spread my cheecks so you can she the fucking stink nuggets
Cop: pull up your fucking pants
Jay: ***FARTS**
Jay: What the fuck is the internet!?
Jay: Will we fuck when you get out (kiss) dont change the subject will we fuck when you get out?
Jay: Yea we kicked those guys’ asses bad. Real Bad.
Guard: Great job sirs, now if you’ll let us in, we’ll clean that right up for ya.
Jay: No, me and Jason Biggs are in here naked! Butt naked! Together!
Jay: Yo say me and lunchbox are mackin on some chick and shit and she’s like oooh I wanna suck yous guys dicks off and then she’s like whats your names and i’m like Jay and Silent Bob and she’s like oh I read on the internet about fuckin yous guys are a couple of little fuckin jerkoffs then she goes and sucks 2 other guys dicks off… Well fuck that! We gotta put a stop to these fuckin hateful sons of bitches before they put an end to our good names.
Jay: Yo silent Bob even popped his cherry there Justice: Aww, I bet she was a special girl! Jay: Look, FUCK that fat FUCK
JAY:
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
motha motha fuck, motha motha fuck,
motha fuck motha fuck,
noinch noinch noinch,
1,2 1,2,3,4,
noinch noinch noinch,
shmokin weed, shmokin weed,
doin coke, drinkin beers,
drinkin beers beers beers,
rollin fatties, smokin blunts,
who smokes the blunts,
we smoke the blunts,
rollin blunts and shmokin…
KID:
Yo, let me get a nickle bag.
JAY:
Fifteen bucks, little man,
put that shit in my hand,
if that money doesn’t show
then you owe me, owe me, owe
My jungle love, oee,oee,oh
Yeah, what?
Jay:whats twisting that bitches tit. justice:maybe its because girls dont like being called bitches. Jay:then what should i call you. Justice: i dont know… something sweet. Jay: like boo boo kitty fuck. Justice: its a start.
Jay> hey it’s them mother fuckers from the Mork movie!!
Jessica Gottlieb is a dirty dirty whore. Call her: 216-0225-0005.
jesus loves the little children….
Just like winnie the pooh dude
Justice: Honest Injun
Chrissy: (Mockingly) Honest Injun.
Justice: Shut Up!
KID: what the hell are you singin?
JAY: you don’t know jungle love? That shit is the mad notes. Written by god herself and handed down to the greatest band in the world—the motherfuckin time!
KID: You mean the guys in that Prince movie?
KID 2: Yeah purple rain…
KID: That shit was so gay- fuckin 80s style.
[whoosh whoosh]
JAY: HEY! Dont you never say an unkind word about the time…me and silent Bob modeled our whole fuckin lives around Morris day and jerome. I’m a smooooth pimp who loooves the pussy, and Tubby heres my blackman servant…what?!
ladies ladies ladies! jay and silent bob are in the hiz-zouse
LADIES LADIES LADIES!!! Jay and Silent Bob are in the HIZ-ILLS!!!!!!!!!
ladies ladies ladies, Jay and silent Bob are in the hizzouse!
Later me and justice can shoot each other and fuck like stoned test rabbitss…bongggg
Lemon face ewww, lion face raaah, lemon face ewww, lion face raaah
Let’s go back the station…round up them drunks…get em to blow us
Let’s go back the station…round up them drunks…have us some man chowder
Lets go back to the station and cornhole us a drunk!
Lets go back to the station house boys…. and corn hole us a drunk
lets say me and lunchbox are out mackin’ some chick right AND shes like oooooooh i wanna suck yous guys dicks off! and shes like whats your name and im like Jay & silant Bob, RECONIZE! and shes like OOOHH i heard on the INTERNET that you two were a couple of little fuckin jerk offs and than shes go and sucks two other guys dicks off! well FUCK THAT!
Lion face GRRRRR Lemon face mmmmmm Lion face GRRRRR Lemon face mmmmmm Lion face GRRRRR Lemon face mmmmmm
Look at these carouse mother fuckers right here. Looks like someone shit in their cereal. Bong.
Look at these marose mother fuckers. Smells like someone shit in your ceral.. BOOONNNGGG
Look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Smells like somebody shit in thier cereal.
Look at these morose motherfuckers right here. Smells like someone shit in their cereal. BONG! Yeah, that was good.
Look over there at Bob and ask if you should pull out your cock…*Bob shakes head*….Yeah, thats right. Put it away for now.
Look, it’s simple. I film this motha fucka then I haul ass back to my trailer coz I got more white girls in there then the first lifeboat on the Titanic, and they allll want a part in my movie
ma jungle love o e o e o i think i wanna know ya know ya
Mabye its a supermonkey!
Make it fast and sexy and when you’re done I want you to say that was a lovely tea party!
Make it fast… and sexy!
matt + ben: lion face! roar! lemon face oooooooohhhhhh! lion face roar! lemon face oohhhhhhhhh!
Matt and Ben: Lemon face- Eeewww… Lion Face- GRAWWRE… Lemon face- Eeewww… Lion Face- GRAWWRE
Matt: Just take it from, it’s a good course.
Ben: What you’re the director now?
Matt: Hey shove it Bounce boy. Let’s remember who talked who into doing this shit in the first place. I mean talking me into Dogma is one thing, but this is-
Ben: Look I’m sorry I dragged you away from whatever gay serial killers who ride horses and like to play golf touchy-feely picture you’re gonna do this week.
Matt: I take it you haven’t seen Forces of Nature.
Ben: You’re like a child. What do I keep telling you? You gotta do the safe picture, then you do the art picture. Then sometimes you gotta do the payback picture ’cause your friend says you owe him. Then sometimes you gotta go back to the well.
Matt: Yeah, and sometimes you do Reindeer Games.
Ben: See, that’s just mean.
Matt: You frosted your hair, though. Ben: Yeah, I frosted my hair, but it looks good.
Me and lunchbox here modeled our whole lives after Morris Day and the Time im a smmooooothh pimp who loves the pussy and tubby here is my black man servant
Meet my fat friend here, he’s 100% gay…he LOVES the cock
Mom#1:
Bobby boy stay here while mommy picks up free cheese,
k? This’ll keep the sun out of your eyes. You be good now.
Mom#2:
Alright, don’t you fuckin move you little shit machine. Your momma is gonna try to score.
Man:
What the hell?
Excuse me, who’s watching these babies?
Mom#2:
Aaa th… the fat one is watching the little one?
Man:
Oh, Nice parenting. Leave them out here like that and see what happens.
Mom#2:
Yo, fuck you, you fuckin square.
Man:
Ah, keep on truckin.
Mom#2
Did you hear that fucking guy telling me how to fucking raise you?
Mother fucker, man!
Who’s he fucking think he is?
What’s the worst fucking thing that could happen to you standing in front of a fucking store?
Fuck!
Motha Motha Fuck,Motha Motha Fuck Fuck…Motha Fuck Motha Fuck noinch noinch noinch……..1-2-1-2-3-4…..Noinch noinch noinch……schmokin weed,schmokin whizz,doin coke,drink beers….drinkin beers,beers,beers….rollin fattys,smokin blunts…who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts! Rollin blunts and smoke em! (Boy): Hey, can I get a nickelback? (Jay): 15 bucks little man,put that shit in my hand! If that money doesn’t show then you owe me owe me owe!
Motherfucker, its time we wrote something back. Type this shit down. All you motherfuckers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball lickers. We’re gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little whiny bitches. Once we get to hollywood and find those Mirimax fucks whose making the movie, we’re going to make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit thats made up of our shit that we made them eat. And then all you motherfucks are next. Love Jay and Silent Bob
My fat freind here loves the cock.
My friend here, he loves the cock
My Jungle love ohh wee ohh wee ohh i think i want to know ya
My tubby husband here, he’s 100% queer, he loves the cock!
No more distractions! No more hairy bush nuns, no more dogs! We need to keep our eyes on the prize!
Nobody rolls a clit like me- not this fuck, not any of you fucks
Noooo, bullshit! I wasn’t with a hooker last night! Haaaa!
Not on my watch motherfucker.
Oh my god, do you get free refills with that?
Oh my god, you guys couldnt get some of these qutoes more wrong
. It’s an insult to any true kevin smith fan.
oh-e-oh-e-oh, i really want to know ya know ya, oh-e-oh-e-oh, jungle love…
Ok, here’s the pulse. And here’s your finger, far from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. SAY, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
ok, the person that keeps writing in here complaining about the quotes not being right, if your that freakin concerned, go back and change every one yourself, or shut the hell up, cuz nobody cares!!
Only Ben Affleck can stop THE MOONRAPER
Phantoms like a mothafucka!!
Plasky:Might I say that is one fine boy you are raising. Jay:Thats because hes from my sperm. I knocked up this hot lady friend on the side so I’m not all the way, but my tubby husband here is 100% queer, HE LOVES THE COCK. Plasky:Well he sure looks sensatiable, bye bye.
PLEASE SOOOMMMEBODY post the quote in the beginning when Jay’s mom starts cursing and all that.. its the BEST part ever! PLEASE SOMEBODY POST AND OR FIND IT! THANKS!!
QUOTE 1) Girls don’t really like to be called bitchs jay 2) What about fine peice of ass 1) how about NOT 2) boo boo kitty fuck? 1) That’s a start
Randall: …and for the record, the Time sucked ass!
Remember, don’t pull your cock out until she asks, or until she’s sleeping.
Right about here is were the angel posta show up and tell you not to pull your dick out, but we bitch slapped that mother f**ker and sent him packing.
Right about now is where the angel’s supposed to show up, but we kicked that bitch’s ass!
Say me and Lunchbox are mackin on some chick and shit and she’s like oooh I wanna suck yous guys dicks off and then she’s like whats your names and i’m like *** and ****** ***, recognize and she’s like oh I read on the internet about fuckin yous guys are a couple of little fuckin jerkoffs then she goes and sucks 2 other guys dicks off… Well fuck that! We gotta put a stop to these fuckin hateful sons of bitches before they put an end to our good names.
Say me and Lunchbox are mackin on some chick and shit and she’s like oooh I wanna suck youse guys dicks off and then she’s like whats your names and i’m like *** and ****** ***, recognize? And she’s like oh I read on the internet about fuckin youse guys are a couple of little fuckin jerkoffs then she goes and sucks two other guys dicks off… Well fuck that! We gotta put a stop to these fuckin hateful sons of bitches before they put an end to our good names.
SB: THE SIGN…ON THE BACK OF THE CAR…SAID CRIT-TERS OF HOL-LY-WOOD!!! YOU DUMB FUCK!!!
J: Say it, don’t spray it.
SHITS YEA WE GOTS TA GET PAID!
silent bob even busted his cherry there. aww…she must have been a lucky girl. HEY! fuck that fat fuck, i’m telling a story here
Silent Bob: the sign on the back of the car said critters of Hollywood you dumb FUCK!!!!… Jay: say it don’t spray it
Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn’t we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?
Smokin Weed Makin Noise Drikin Beers Drinkin Beers, Drinkin Beers Beers Beers.
snoochies boochies
Snootchie Bootchies!!!!!
some even had two jets
(deleted scene on DVD)
STINK NUGGGGGGGEEEETTTTTS!!!
Taste it,Taste the booger flavor.I know it’s in there.
Taste it!
Teen1: How was the service last week?
Cashier1: What service?
Teen2: The one at the church where you two got married to eachother!
Cashier2: What?
Teen1: Jay said you two had a Star Wars theme wedding and tied the knot like Storm Troopers.
Teen2: Yeah and he says you’re the bitch and you’re the butch.
Cashier2: Im the bitch?!?
Cashier1: If we were gay thats how I’d see it
Cashier2: SHUT UP!
That shit is so gay. Fuckin’ 80s style.
that was just one daring escape
duncx
Thats it man, no more hairy bush nuns for us
The female orgasm, thats the myth
The internet buzz.
the internet is a communications tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.
The internet is a communications tool, used the world over, where people can come together and bitch about movies or share pornography with one another.
The only mystery here is why we take our clues from a dick in a neckerchief.
The real question here is, why are we taking orders from a dick in a neckerchief?
The sign on the back of the car said Crittes of Hollywood
THE SIGN!!!!!!!! ON THE BACK OF THE TRUCK !!!!!!!!! SAID!!!!! CRITTERS OF HOLLYWOOD YOU STUPID FUCK!!!!!! jay: say it dont spray it
The sign… on the back of the car… said Critters of Hollywood… YOU DUMB FUCK!
The whole f***ing world’s against us, dude! I swear to God!
The whole world’s against us, man, I swear to God.
These guys are good.
THIS GUYS A SHEEP FUCKER! HES NOT ONE OF US!!!
This is so stupid! Have any of you guys actually seen this movie? i am reading these and seeing these quotes and they are all worded wrong. I bet you heard them from a friend. Unless you know the quote word for word, don’t try to repeat it. You just look stupid.
This is the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?
This isnt fair, we came to hollywood, i fell in love. Fuckin’, we stole a monkey, got shot at, and i got punched in the motherfuckin’ nuts by a guy named Cock Knocker!
This shit fucks you up like perkaset.
Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn’t we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?
to all the fucks that are complaining about these motherfucks quoting the movie wrong, who gives a fuck. let these shits have their fuckin fun.
love jay and silent bob
Trish the Dish: Well… that was just paean to male adolescence and its refusal to grow up.
Alyssa: Yeah, sis, but it was better than MallRats. At least Holden had the good sense to keep his name off of it.
Trish the Dish: Why wouldn’t Miramax option his other comic instead, the one with you and him and your relationship?
Alyssa: What, Chasing Amy? That’d never work as a movie.
Trish the Dish: But-
Turn those frowns upside-down, and I’ve got just the thing for that. We call it – Doobie snacks
Uh, i think i just filled the cup.
ummm well i did those and i made a few little errors on the spelling and i dont think u can edit on here
We love this monkey!
We modeled our entire life on Morris Day and Jerome, I’m a smoooooth pimp daddy who loves the pussy and tubby here’s my black man servant.
We modeled our entire life on Morris Day and Jerome, I’m smoooooth pimp daddy and he’s my black man servant.
We steal monkeys all the time,right Lunchbox?
We’re going to let this butt fucking brady bunch go.
Well if she does, it’ll be necrophilia, because she’s going to be one dead bitch.
Well if she does, it’s going to be necrophilia, because she’s going to be one dead bitch.
well it is miramax so it’ll probably be ben affleck and matt damon they put them in a bunch of movies jay:who the fuck holden:you know those kids from good will hunting jay:you mean the movie with fuckin mork from orcanut holden:yea i wasnt a big fan either but ben affleck was the bomb in phantoms jay:word bitch phantoms like a motherfucker holden:yea wazzap now.
Well, look at these two murose mother fuckers, smells like someone shit in their cereal…BUNG!
Well…..look at these moross motherfuckers right here…..smells like somebody shit in your cereal bowl….BUNG!
were gonna fuck like two stoned test bunnies
What am I, producin’ an A&E biography about ’em?
what are you looking at lunch box there aint no snacks here
what are you waiting for, start sucking bitch! BAAAAAAAA
What I see here is a political time bomb waiting to explode…we might as well just let this butt-fucking Brady Bunch go.
What if one night me and lunchbox are out mackin’ some chick and she is all like ooo I wanna suck yos guys dicks off, yo whad’ you guys say your names where again and I’m like Jay and Silent Bob recognize, ooooh well I read on the internet that fuckin’ yous guys are a couple of fucking jerk offs, then she goes and sucks two others guys dicks off, well fuck that shit.
What the fuck are we gonna do with a fucking Monkey….Holy shit this is Justices monkey….Why the fuck is it looking at me like that??Holy shit save me tons of fun
What the fuck are you bitches babblin’ about?
What the fuck are you waiting for, bitch, start suckin’? BOOONNNGGG-ING!!!!
what the fuck is the internet
What the fuck is the internet?
What the fuck is the internet?!
What! I stick those little pieces of paper in my browneye and BAM! No shit stains in my undies! WHAT!?!? YOu don`t believe me spread my cheeks so you can see the stick nuggets
What!? You dont know Jungle Love? That shit is the mad notes!
What’s with the knife? are we having cake or something?
What’s with the knife? We havin’ cake or something?
What…there aint no snacks here
Whats your damage little boys?You’ve got a sick and twisted world prespective!
WHO SMOKES THE BLUNTS?……..WE SMOKE THE BLUNTS!!!!!
Who the fuck said that shit?
Whoever this guy is that keeps whining about quotes, and putting people down must have some serious penis envy. If you actually have enough time to sit around and read all these quotes and have nothing better to do then complain I suggest you get a job and move out of your mothers basement. Cut the cord man, grow up get a job take a shower and all the other great things that are part of becoming a part of society. You sit there and complain about people spelling things wrong and yet half of everything you type has mispelled words. If I had to guess what you looked like, I would guess overweight, glasses, real nerdy looking type of guy who has probably never had sex with anything but your hand. If you have actually slept with a girl she probably killed herself because you are one sad human being. Anyone that cares this much about one movie has got some serious issues, especially when the movie was not that good. Oh by the way I am guessing you are in the early to mid thirties by the way if any one is looking to date a 30 something that lives at home with there mom. I bet everytime Shannon Elizabeth comes on the screen you touch your tiny little excuse for a penis. Stop using the internet as a way to make up for the fact you were not popular in highschool.
Why do they call you Cock Knocker?
Willenholly: And stop stealing monkeys! Jay: Fuck you. W: Fair enough.
Woman: Alright, don’t you fuckin’ move you little shit machine. Your momma’s gonna try and score.
Man: What the hell?! Excuse me. Who’s watching these babies?
Woman: Uh, the fat one’s watching the little one.
Man: Oh nice parenting. Leave ’em out here like that and see what happens
Woman: Fuck you, you fucking square.
Man: Ah, keep on trucking.
Woman: Did you hear that fucking guy telling me how to fucking raise you?! Mother fucker man. Who’s he fucking think he is? What’s the worst fucking thing that can happen to you staying outside a fucking store right? Fuck!
Baby: Fuck… fuck… fuck… fuck!
there ya go just for you!!!
word bitch, phantoms like a mallfucker
word bitch. Phantoms like a mallfucker
Wow, that was a daring escape!
y’all need to stop criticizin people if y’all can’t even get the quotes right…thats not cool…o and her name isnt jessie its jussie…DON’T U NEVER SAY ANOTHER UNKIND WORD ABOUT THE TIME – ME AND SILENT BOB MODELED OUR WHOLE FUCKING LIVES AROUND MORRIS DAY AND JEROME…IM A SMOOTH PIMP WHO LOVES THE PUSSY AND TUBBY HERES MY BLACK MAN SERVANT…WHAT?
YA KNOW WHAT. THE DUDE THAT SAID NOBODY CARES ABOUT MESSED UP QUOTES IS A FUCKING MORON. I AGREE WITH THAT DUDE THATS COMPLAINING. SO ABVIOUSLY SOMEBODY CARES. SOME PEOPLE ARE FANS OF THIS MOVIE AND THEY WANT TO KNOW THE QUOTES. IF YOU KEEP SENDING IN THE WRONG QUOTES, THEN THEY WONT GET IT RIGHT. SO DONT YOU SAY THAT NOBODY CARES, YOU FUCKING MORON. BECAUSE PEOPLE DO CARE. WHY DONT YOU GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.
YA KNOW WHAT. THE DUDE THAT SAID NOBODY CARES ABOUT MESSED UP QUOTES IS A FUCKING MORON. I AGREE WITH THAT DUDE THATS COMPLAINING. SO OBVIOUSLY SOMEBODY CARES. SOME PEOPLE ARE FANS OF THIS MOVIE AND THEY WANT TO KNOW THE QUOTES. IF YOU KEEP SENDING IN THE WRONG QUOTES, THEN THEY WONT GET IT RIGHT. SO DONT YOU SAY THAT NOBODY CARES, YOU FUCKING MORON. BECAUSE PEOPLE DO CARE. WHY DONT YOU GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.
yea quote the movie right.. nickle back? its nickle bag. and it’s i don’t like the sounda dem apples will? what are we gonna doo?
Yeah! And all these people who read that shit think the real Jay and Silent Bob are a couple of faggots ’cause of that all these dicks are writing about the comic book Jay and Silent Bob! And maybe one night, me and Lunchbox’ll be macking some bitch, and she’ll be like Oooo! I want to suck youse guys dicks off. What’s your names? And I’ll be like, Jay and Silent Bob. And she’ll be like, Oh–I read on the Internet that youse guys were little fucking jerkoffs. And then she goes and sucks two other guys’s dicks off instead! Well fuck that! We gotta put a stop to these hateful sonsa-bitches before they ruin our good names!
yo baby ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?!
Yo baby. You ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?!
Yo bitch fist!!!!
yo she called you retarded
YO you guys gettin medical out there…Jay: Nah man, we may have to strike in November.
Yo, I GOTS ta get PAID!
Yo, this mother fucker ain’t one of us! He said he’d fuck a sheep!
Yo,She called you retarded!!!
You are the ones who are the ball lickers!!
you fucking idiots. I cant fucking believe you guys.QUOTE THE GOD DAMNED MOVIE RIGHT! YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!GAH YOU DUMB SHITS ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME!
You Gotta Take A Shit….You Gotta Take A Salad
you guys are pathetic…learn to quote the fucking movie right. i could sit here and correct these all day, but that’d be a waste of my time.
you know im acthually quita a good marksman
you know maybe one night me and lunchbox are out, were mackin some chick and shes like, ohhhh i wanna suck yous guys dicks off, and shes like whats your name? and im like, Jay and Silent Bob, Recognize. And shes like, ohh I read on the internet that fuckin yous guys were a coupla fuckin jerk offs and she goes and sucks two other guys dicks off instead, well FUCK THAT, we gotta stop these hateful mother fuckers before they ruin our good name.
You know seaseme street was my idea. Only I had another name for it, NWP, niggers with puppets.
You live by the book too?
You no what they make you do in jail? Toss the salid
You the man sir!! no you the man and thats the problem!!
You want crack to get you high
You were really gonna suck my dick werent ya? *shakes head*….*nods*
You wouldn’t last a day on the creak
you wouldnt last a day on the creek.
Your in this for the pussy right !? Noo .. I’m in this because I lovveee the animals .. STUPID
Your name doesn’t even fit the rhyme scheme
Zoinks, yo!
{Mother} Alright, don’t ya fuckin’ move ya little shit machine,
momma’s gonna try to score.
{Man} What the hell? Excuse me who’s watchin’ these babies?
{Mother} Uhhh, the fat one’s watchin’ the little one?
{Man} Ohhh, nice parenting. Leave ’em out here like that and see
what happens
{Mother} Yea well FUCK you ya fuckin’ square!
{Man} Ahhh, keep on truckin’.
{Mother} You here the fuckin’ guy tellin’ me how to fuckin’ raise
you? MotherFUCKER man. Who the fuck does he think he is?
What the worst fuckin’ thing that could happen to you
standin’ in front of a fuckin’ store right? FUCK!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back’: Quotes from the movie ‘Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back’