oops i think i drooped something i need to pick up
!!!bend n snAp!!!
#1 If you’re going to let some stupid prick ruin your life, you’re not half the girl i thought you were.
#1- HI! My name is David Kidney. I have a masters in russian literature, a phd in biochemistry AND for the last eighteen months i’ve been deworming orphans in somalia…#2..cool..#3 hey how ya doin im enid wexler! I graduated from Berkelely with a masters in womens studies emphasis on the history of COM-BAT!and last year i single-handedly organized the march for lesbians against drunk driving…#2..killer..#4 Aaron Mitchell..graduated first in my class from Princeton, and have an IQ of 187. and it has been said that Stephen Hawkins stole his brief history of time…from my 4th grade paper. #2..wow..#5 ME? hi my name is elle woods and this is bruiser woods. We’re both gemini vegetarians. I have a bachelors degree in fashion and merchandising from CULA, i was a zeta lam denu sweetheart, president of my sorority, Delta Nu, and last year..i was homecoming queen..oh and two weeks ago i saw cameron diaz at fred segal and talked her out of buying this truly haneous angora sweater..whoever said orange was the new pink..was seriously disturbed!
#1.come on poohbear, get in the car.#2.no!#3.your gonna ruin your shoes!#4.oh, fine.
#1: You broke his nose?!?! #2: Oh, Elle, my snap was all over the place!
(Elle) Are you free? It’s an emergency. (Paulette) Bad day? (Elle) You can’t even imagine.
(Elle): That’s great,Paulette. Is this the only interaction you two have ever had? (Paulette): No, sometimes I say good instead of fine.
(Elle)They’re not last season!*gasps*
(She meets Warner in Harvard) Oh, hi! You go here too?
(TV soap opera playing in the background): But I love you!
Elle: LIAR!!!
(Warner) Excuse me,are you hear to see me? (Elle) No,silly. I go here! (Warner) You go where? (Elle) Harvard……law school. (Warner) YOU got into Harvard law? (Elle) What? Like it’s hard? Oh my gosh Warner, I’m planning this really great mixer…you totally have to help me! I’m thinking like a luoa or a casino night! This is gonna be just like Senior year except for better!
**Whistle** I object!
…..Whats ur boyfriends name.. Chuck
wait, i missunderstood chuck is just a friend
U @$%&*
…And for the Past 18 months i’ve been (weird eye brow movement) de-worming orfans in Somalia
…maybe you should talk to the cruise director on the Lido deck.
1) *gasp* Do you know who this is!?!? (pointing at magazine) 2)No. 1)That’s the kind of girl Warner wants to marry. 2)Practically deformed?
1) Do you remember those four amazing hours we spent in the hot tup after Winter formal? 2) Yeah 1) This is so much better than that!
1) Don’t tap those last season Prada shoes at me, honey 2) They’re not last season…*gasp*
1) I’m just tired of trying to b something that I’m just…that I’m just nt. 2) What ifyou’re tring to be somethng that you are? Th hell with Callahan. s-stay.
1) sniffs Elle’s resemay passes it ova – it’s scented
2) and it’s pink
1) gives it something don’t you think
1) You know, you’re really being a butthead. 2) What? I don’t think anyone’s called me a butthead since like the ninth grade. 1) (quietly) Well, maybe not to your face.
1)(W/ a heavy accent) Don’t eh stomp your last season Prada shoes at me, honey. 2)These aren’t last season.
1)Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date? 2)Yes. 1)Where? 2)A restaurant out of town where no one could recognize us. 1)How long have you been sleeping with Brooke? 2)3 months. 1)Thank you. No more questions. 2)No, I’m sorry, I was confused, I thought you said friend. Chuck is just a friend. 3)You bitch!
1)Girls…I’m going to harvard. 2) You mean like on vaca? 3)Let’s all go! 1&2)Road trip!!!!
1)Is she pretty? 2)Well…she’s not completely unfortunate looking.
1- No one’s called me a butthole since about the ninth grade. 2-Maybe not to your face
1- What? Your dumping me because im too… BLONDE? 2- No… no…
1- Then what? My boobs are too big? 2- no no honey your boobs are just fine…
1-And your boyfriends name is? 2-Chuck. Wait-I was confused-Chuck is just a friend 3-You Bitch!
1-i was getting liposuction.(low whisper)
2-huh?
1-i was getting liposuction.(whisper)
2-What?
1-I was getting liposuction!
2-(gasp) No!
1-I’ve got a package. 2-He’s got a package
1-Oh look, the Bend and Snap, Works every time.
1-So your breaking up with me because i’m too,Blonde?!
2-No,no thats not entirely true.
1-What,My boobs are too big?!
2-No, your boobs are fine.(whisper)
1-So hen you said you would always love me you were just dicking around?!
2-I do love you but i just can’t marry you.You have no idea the pressure i am under.My family has five generations of senators.My brothers at the top 3 at Yale law, and he just got engaged to a vanderbelt for christ sake.
1-(crying)
2-Bad Salad….Sweety, Pooh Bear
1-Uhh!
2-It’s not like i have a choice here, sweetheart.Ok you just get the car, i’ll get the check.
3-i wont be having salad.
1-So your breaking up with me because i’m too,Blonde?!
2-No,no thats not entirely true.
1-What,My boobs are too big?!
2-No, your boobs are fine.(whisper)
1-So when you said you would always love me you were just dicking around?!
2-I do love you but i just can’t marry you.You have no idea the pressure i am under.My family has five generations of senators.My brothers at the top 3 at Yale law, and he just got engaged to a vanderbelt for christ sake.
1-(crying)
2-Bad Salad….Sweety, Pooh Bear
1-Uhh!
2-It’s not like i have a choice here, sweetheart.Ok you just get the car, i’ll get the check.
3-i wont be having salad.
1. Are you sure?
2. Yes..
1. Are you willing to stake your life on it?
2. I think so..
1. What about….his life?
2. I dont know..
1. Well I recommend knowing before speaking..
1. Girls, I’m going to Harvard! 2. You mean like on vacay? Let’s all go! ROAD TRIP!!
1. I need someone serious. 2. But I am seriously in love with you, isn’t that enough?
1. Its pink!! 2. Yeah and its scented, it gives it a little something extra don’t you think?
1. My lucky scrunchie helped me pass my spanish final. 2.The only reason you passed that final is because you gave Professor Montoy a lap dance. 1. Yeah… luckily…
1. Nice outfit.
2. Thanks. I like yours too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
1. Poohbear, just get in the car.
2. No.
1. You’re gonna ruin your shoes.
2. Uh ok.
1. Your scrunchie?
2. My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
3. You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
4. Yeah luckily…
1.) Gasp! This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry! This is what I have to become to win back Warner!! 2.) What?? Practically deformed??
1.) He’s still scratching his head. 2.) Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.
1.) Oh Warner, remember those 4 amazing hours we spent in the hot tub after winter formal? 2.) Yeaaaa..uh no. 1.) This is so much better than that!
1.- Now you’re discraminating against brunettes?
2.- Why not? I’m discriminated as blonde!
1. You Look So Beautiful..
2. So Do You..
1.Did you see him? He’s probably still scratching his head. 2.Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.
1.Did you see this one? We just got it in yesturday. 2. Oooh is this low viscosity rayon? 1. Uh, yes, ofcourse. 2. With a half loop top stiching on the hem? 1. Absolutely, it’s one of a kind. 2. Hum. It’s impossible to use a half loop top stiching on low viscosity rayon, it would snag the fabric. And you didn’t just get it in, I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. If you’re trying to sell it to me for full price, you picked the wrong girl.
1.nice outfit2.oh i like yours to exceptwhen i dress up as a fritch bitch i try not to look so constapated
1: You got into Harvard for Law?
2: What? Like it’s hard?
1: You got into Hravard for Law?
2: What? Like it’s hard?
1:He said I have a really high metrabol-metrab 2:metabolism. 1:oh my god what are you doing? 3:I’m studying for the LSATs 2:my cousin had that, apparently you get a really bad rash on your -.
1:Is she as pretty as you?
2:She could use some mascara and some serious highlights. But shes not completely unfortunate looking.
1:Like maybe you could join like a serourity like somewhere! 2:At least if you came to one of our parties(?)the least i would do would be talk to you… 1:Would this be before or after u called me a dike behind my back? 2: i dont use that word, you must have heard it from Vivian!!!
1:My lucky scrunchie helped me pass spanish.
2:The reason you passed is because you gave Professor Montoy a lap dance after the final.
1:Yeah…luckily…
1:what kind of shoes are these? 2:uh, black.
1:Whats a girl to do? he’s a guy, who followed his pecker to greener pastures. and I’m a middle-aged high school dropout whose got stretch marks and a fat ass. 2:That’s Terrible. 1: so whats this Vivian girl got that you dont have, three tits?
1:You look like a walking felony. 2: oh! thank you, you’re so sweet.
2 weeks ago I saw Cameron Diaz
2 weeks ago, I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Seagul and talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed!
(1) Everybody likes me!
(2) People are different on the East Coast!
(1) If I want to be a senator I need someone serious!
(2) But I’m seriously in love with you!
(1)You’re one of my lawyers?
(2)Kind of…
(1)Thank God one of you has brains!
Brooke: You know a Delta-Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle: Never!
Brooke: (innocently) I just like watching him clean the filter.
Elle: Did you see him? He’s probably still scratching his head.
Paulette: Yeah, which must be a nice vacation from his balls!
Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. (someone wolf whistles, and Elle turns around) I object!
Elle: I love that restaurant! Oh, I heard Madonna went into labor there, gosh I have to go shopping…
Elle: I’m able to recall hundreds of details at the drop of a hat.
Margo: Hey, Elle, Do you know what happened on Days of Our Lives yesterday?
Elle: Why yes, Margo, I do. Once again we join Hope in the search of her identity. As we know she’s been brainwashed by the evil Stefano.
Elle: I’m going to Harvard Law School!
Margo: Why?
Serena: Elle, Elle, I know your upset about all this, but can’t you just take a Percocet?
Elle: No, silly. I go here.
Warner: You go… where?
Elle: Harvard. Law School?
Warner: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What, like it’s hard?
Elle: Oh my God! (points to a picture in a magazine) Do you know who this is?
Old Woman: No.
Elle: That’s Warner’s older brother!
Old Woman: (confused) Who?
Elle: (reads) Third year Yale law student, patenting bows, Huntington the third, and his fiancé: Lane Walker Vanderbelt. First year, Yale Law, (hushes) this is the type of girl that Warner wants to marry! This is what I need to become to be serious!
Old Woman: (looks at the picture) What? Practically deformed?
Elle: What, just because I’m not a Vanderbelt, suddenly I’m white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling! I think most people would agree that’s a lot better than some sticky old Vanderbelt.
Mr. Woods: (to Elle) Oh sweetheart, you don’t need to go to law school. Law school is for people who are boring, and ugly and serious. And you button, are none of those things.
Mrs. Woods: (after hearing Elle wants to go to law school) Honey, you were first runner up at the Miss Hawaiian Tropica contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Paulette: I mean, what’s a girl to do? He’s a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. And I’m a middle-aged high school dropout, who’s got stretch marks and a fat ass.
Paulette: So what’s this Vivian got that you don’t have.. three tits?
Warner: YOU got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What, like it’s hard?
Ahhh the Bend and Snap, works every time.
all those opposed to chaffing say i (i)
Alright,ummm a little less bend, a little more snap.
And for that matter, all masturbatory emmissions where his sperm was clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandoment.
And here I am, a middle aged highschool drop out…. with stretch marks and a fat ass.
And you button, are none of those things.
And your boyfriend’s name is…?
are you free? it’s an emergency!
Are you sure this Warner guy is,like,THE one?
Bad Salad
Bend and snap
BLONDES R DUMB HOES AND SUK COCKS ALL DAY LONG!!!
Booke exercised. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t.
brooke-You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong!
elle-Never!
brooke-I just like to watch him clean the filter!
elle-I believe in you brooke!
But I’m seriously in love with you…isn’t that enough?
but you had time to hid the gun didnt you chutny after you shot your father!
Callahan- Ms. Woods, you did well today.
Elle- Really?
Callahan- You’re applying for my internship aren’t you?
Elle- I don’t know.
Callahan- Well you should. Do you have a resume?
Elle- Yes I do. Here it is.
Callahan- It’s pink!
Elle- And it’s scented! I think it gives it a little something extra! Don’t you think?…Ok, well see ya next class (She leaves the room).
Callahan (to Emmet, who has just walked in)- Do you think she just woke up one morning and said, ‘I think I’ll go to law school today.’
Emmett- Well, that lapse in judgement aside, I think she’s got a lot of potential. Here’s the Windham file.
Callahan- Smell this.
Emmett- (Smells the resume). What’s that?
Callahan- It’s her resume.
Emmett- Smells good.
collete: i didn’t even get to throw him a birthday party
elle: NO!
Congratulation class of 2004… WE DID IT!!!!!
Could I be any more god damn spastic?
Could I be any more goddamn SPAZTIC?!
Could I have been anymore goddam spastic??
Curls weren’t a good look for her. She didn’t have your bone structure.
Do you think it’s acceptable that miss woods is not prepared? **No…….I don’t**…Would you support my decision to ask her to leave class and to return only when she is prepared?**absolutely**
don’t estomp your little last season prada shoes at me honey
Don’t stomp those last season prada shoes at me honie!
Don’t stomp your last season Prada shoes at me honey.
don’t stomp your little last season prada shoes at me hunny
Don’t tap those last-season Prada shoes at me honey.
don’t tap your last season prada shoes at me honey
dont tap your little last season prada shoes at me HONEY!
Elle in restaurant crying sounds like a pig snorting, everybody is staring at the couple. 2) anounces – bad salad
Elle to Emmet: You’re really being a butt head
Elle Woods, welcome to Harvard.
Elle Woods: Oh my god, did you see that, he’s probably still scratching his head!
Beauty Sallon friend: Yeah which would be a nice vacation for his balls!
Elle’s friends: (upon seeing her with books in her lap) what are you doing? Elle: i’m studying for the LSATS. Friend 1: my cousin had that once, apparently you get a really bad rash on your…(points downward). E: the LSATs aren’t a disease, silly, they’re a test. Girls, im going to harvard! F: you mean like on vacay? let’s all go! ROAD TRIP!! E: no, girls, i’m going to harvard law school!
Elle’s mom- Honey you were 1st runner up at the Miss Hawaiian Tropics contest.. why are you going to throw that all away? Elle- going to Harvard is the only way im going to get the love of my life back Elle’s dad- Honey you dont need law school law shool’s for people who are boring and ugly and …serious and you button are none of those things.
Elle, Do you know what happened on Days of our Lives yesterday?
Elle, it’s Amy, I’m having trouble with this whole lipliner thing…
Elle- Girls, i’m going to harvard!
Girls- u mean on vaca? lets all go!!!! ROAD TRIP!!!!!
Elle- Now dont worry, everyone will love you
Elle- Thansk for inviting me girls, this party is super fun Vivian-Like the outfit Elle-Oh, I like yours too, except when I dress up as a fridgid bitch, I try not to look so constipated!
elle- warner, remember when we spent those four AMAZING hours in the hot tub after winter formal?
warner- ya uh no
elle- THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER!
vivan- FOUR hours?!
Elle-So your breaking up with me because im to….BLONDE!
elle: and do you know what… subject matter durestiction is?
collete’s horrible ex: hu
elle: tell him collette
pause
collete: i’m taking the dog…. dumbass
Elle: Are you free? It’s an emergency. Paulette: Bad day? Elle: You can’t even imagine! Paulette: Spill! Elle: I worked so hard to get into law school, I blew off great grades to study for the L.S.A.T.’s, all to get my boyfriend Warrner back and now he’s engagged to this awful girl Vivian and I just wish. . I just wish I had never gone to Hearvard!
Elle: Brooke exercised. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands. They just dont!
Elle: exactly, because isn’t it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wash your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thyglocilate?
Chutney: uuuhh…ye
Elle: and wouldn’t someone who’s had say thirty perms in there life be well aware of this rule? And if infact you weren’t washing your hair, which I suspect you weren’t as your curls are still in tact, wouldn’t you7 have heard the gun shot? And if you had heard the gunshot, Mrs Windom wouldn’t have had time to hide the gun before you got down stairs. Which would mean you would have had to have found Mrs Windom with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn’t that right?
Chutney: she’s my age, did she tell you that?
Elle: you however chutney had time to hide the gun, after you shot your father.
Chutney: I didn’t mean to shoot him. I thought it was YOU (pointing at brook).
Elle:ohhhhhhhh
Elle: had you ever gotten a perm before?
Chutney: Yes.
Elle: how many would you say?
Chutney: 2 a year since I was 12.
Elle: a girl in my sorority, Tracy marcinko, got a perm once; we all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren’t a good look for her. She didn’t have your bone structure. But thankfully later that day she entered the lamda kappa pi wet t-shirt contest where she got completely hosed down from head to toe.
Lawyer: objection. Why is this relevant?
Elle: oh I have a point you honour, I promise.
Judge: than make it.
Elle: ms woods, why was it that Tracy marcinko’s curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
Chutney: because they got wet.
Elle: exactly, because isn’t it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wash your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thyglocilate?
Chutney: uuuhh…ye
Elle: and wouldn’t someone who’s had say thirty perms in there life be well aware of this rule? And if infact you weren’t washing your hair, which I suspect you weren’t as your curls are still in tact, wouldn’t you7 have heard the gun shot? And if you had heard the gunshot, Mrs Windom wouldn’t have had time to hide the gun before you got down stairs. Which would mean you would have had to have found Mrs Windom with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn’t that right?
Chutney: she’s my age, did she tell you that?
Elle: you however chutney had time to hide the gun, after you shot your father.
Chutney: I didn’t mean to shoot him. I thought it was YOU (pointing at brook).
Elle:ohhhhhhhh
elle: i’m sorry but i seem to be missing my social events calender
Elle: Look at me Paulette, all they see is big boobs and blonde hair. No one’s ever going to take ME seriously.
Elle: Oh my god, did you see that, he’s probably still scratching his head!
Paulette: Yeah which would be a nice vacation for his balls!
Elle: So you’re breaking up with me because you’re afraid your family won’t like me?… Everybody likes me!
Elle: So… how are you? You look so… Orange.
Elle: TAP TAP TAP
Enrique: Don’t Es Stomp your little last season Praga shoes at me honey.
Elle: These aren’t last season…AH
Elle: He’s gay Enrique is gay.
Emmett: What how do you know that?
Elle: Gay men know desingers Straight men don’t…Warner what kind of shoes are these?
Warner: Um….black ones.
Elle: thanks for inviting me girls, this party is superfun! Vivian: Nice outfit! Elle: oh thanks, i like your outfit too. only when i dress up as a frigid bitch, i try not to look so constipated.
Elle: That’s great Patricia.. is that ALL the interaction you 2 have had?? Patricia: NO!!.. sometimes I say Okay instead of Fine….
Elle: why didnt u call me? we spend a beautiful night together and then i never hear from you again!? David: um i’m sorry?? Elle: sorry for what? breaking my heart? or for giving me the greatest pleasure i have ever known? David: umm both? Elle: well forget it I’ve already spent too many hours crying over you!
elle:is this noviscosity rayon? With a half loop top stitching on the hem?
saleswoman: uh…of course! It’s one of a kind
elle:hmmm….it’s impossible to use a half loop top stitching on noviscosity rayon, it would snag the fabric. And u didn’t just get this in. I saw it in the june Vogue a year ago. So if ur trying to sell it to me for full price, u picked the wrong girl.
Margot: ouch.
Elle:Oh thanx for inviting me girls this party is SUPER FUN! Vivian: Nice costume (laugh)Elle: o thanx i like yours to except when i dress up as a frigid bitch i try not to look so constapated!Vivian:errr shes horrible Vivians friend: youve got the ring honey! (sigh )
emmet-no ones called me a butthead since the ninth grade. elle-yeah maybe not to your face.
Endorphines make you happy, happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t!
excercise builds endorphines, endorphines make you happy. Happy people just don’t go around shooting their husbands
Exercise gives you endorphines. Endorphines make you happy. Happy people don’t just kill their husbands…they just don’t.
Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy. Happy people dont shoot their husbands…they just don’t.
Exercise gives you endorphins–endorphins make people happy and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands… they just don’t.
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t!
Exercise gives you endorphins… Endorphins make you happy… Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands… They just don’t!
Exercise gives you endorphins….endorphins make you happy…..and happy people just dont shoot their husbands!
Exercise produces endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands
Girl: So was that before or after you called me a dike and voted against me?
Elle: I don’t use that word. You must have heard it from Vivian.
Going to Harvard is the only way im gonna get the love of my life back!
GOOD COSTUME.EXCEPT WHEN I DRESS UP AS A FRIGID BITCH,I TRY NOT TO LOOK SO CONSTIPATED.
harvard wont be impressed that you aced the history of poka dots
he did leave a cher tape in the pool house once
He’s engaged! She’s got the 6 carat diamond on her bony unpolished finger!
he’s engaged, she’s got the 6 karot harry winston on her boney unpolished finger
He’s engaged, she’s got the 6-carrot harry winstin on her bony unpoliched finger
He’s ingaged! She’s got the 6-carrot dimond on her unpolished, bony finger
He’s Ingaged! She’s got the 6-carrot Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.
He’s ingaged! She’s got the6-carrot dimond on her unpolished, bony finger
Thats misquoted its…He’s ingaged! She’s got the 6-carrot henry winston on her unpolished, bony finger
He’s ingaged! She’s got the6-carrot dimond on her unpolished, bony finger
Hey Malibu Barbie where’s the beach?
Hi my name is Elle Woods and this Bruiser Woods, we are both gemini vegetarians……..I got my bachelors degree at cwla, President of my soririty Delta Nu and I was homocoming queen……….oh and last week I saw Cameron Diaz @ Fred Siegal buying this haneous angura sweater…….whoever said orange was the new pink was seriouly mistaken.
hi my name is elle woods and this is bruser woods we are both gemini vegitarians i have a 4.0 from c.u.l.a fashion merchandising
Hi my name is Elle Woods and this is my dog Bruser Woods,We are both Gemini Vegiterians
Honey you don’t need law school, law school is for people who boring and ugly and serious…and you button are none of those things.
Honey, you have to leave this room, it’s been like a week!
i believe the witness has made it clear, she was in the shower
I can’t understand why you’re totally disregarding your signature color!
i didn’t kill my wife.
i feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. i object!
I forgot to tell you! I got BANGS! My hair’s so now.
I haven’t really met the girl, but I hear she can be quite the little bitch.
I like your outfit too. Except when I try to dress as a frigid bitch…. I try not to look so constipated.
i object
I object!
i once had to judege a tighty whitey contest for lamda kappa pi, trust me i can handel anything
i once talked cameron diaz out of buying this ridiculously haneous sweater from fred siegel. whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed
I worked so hard to get in to law school
I’ll never be good enough for you, am i?
I’ll Show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!!!
I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be.
I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be.
I’M ABLE TO RECALL HUNDREDS OF IMPORTANT DETAILS AT THE DROP OF A HAT! HEY ELLE DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES YESTURDAY? WHY YES MARGO I DO! ONCE AGAIN WE JOIN HOPE IN THE SEARCH FOR HER IDENTITY AS YOU KNOW SHE HAS BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE EVIL STEFINO!
I’M GOING TO HARVARD.
lIKE ON VACA?
ROAD TRIP!
I’m just a man who knows what he wants.
-Proffesor Callahan
I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I?
i’m sure there’s more to life than being really, really good looking.
I’m takin’ the dawwwg dumbass!
I’m taking the dog. DUMBASS!!!!
I’m taking the dog… Dumbass!
I’ve already lost my husband! I’d rather go to jail than lose my reputation!
If I was going to dress like a frigid bitch I wouldn’t try and look so constipated!
If you’re going to let one prick ruin your life…you’re not the girl I thought you were.
If your going to let one stupid prick ruin your career than your not the girl I thoght you were
If your going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, your not the girl I thought you were
If your going to let one stupid prick ruing your career than your not the girl I thought you were
im just a highschool dropout with stretch marks and a fat ass!
IS SHE AS PRETTY AS YOU ARE? WELL… SHE COULD USE SOME MASCARA AND SOME SERIOUSE HIGHLIGHTS BUT SHES NOT THAT UNFORTUNATE LOOKING
is that low viscosity rayon?(mmmmhmm) with a half loop stitching on the hem? (mmmhmm) its impossible to have a half loop stitching on low viscosity rayon it would snag the fabric. and you didnt just get that in- i saw it in the june vogue of last year so if you’re trying to sell it to me for full price you’ve got the wrong girl.
is this like an rsvp thing? no it’s like a smart ppl thing!
isnt it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that your forbiden to wash your hair for atleast 24 after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the amonium thygolocolate? and wouldnt someone whos had say 30 perms in their life be well aware of this rule?
It has just come to my attention the that maintence staff is switching our toliet paper from Charmin to generic. All of those opposed to chaffing, please say aye.
It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct. You must always have faith in people and most importantly you must always have faith in yourself.
IT MEANS I’M TAKING THE DOG DUMB ASS!!!!!!!!
it’s not like normal women can have this ass
It’s not like normal women to have this ASS!!
it’s not like she’d fed-ex a 6 carat diamond
Its gonna be just like senior year except for FUNNER!
Just because I’m not a Vanderbilt suddenly I’m white trash?? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that’s a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.
Just last week I saw Camron Diez in Fred Seigal and talked her out of buying a truely heinous angora sweater! Whoever said that orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed!
Last week, i saw Fred Segal, and i stopped cameron diaz from buying this REALLY hanus angora sweater…whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed!(class stares) What?
law is reason free from passion
lydia is better looking than elle
Margot: well, you’re gonna need this. Elle: your scrunchie? M: my lucky scrunchie. it helped me pass spanish. Other friend: you passed spanish because you gave professor montoya a lap dance after the final. M: yeah…luckily.
Me!Yes
Me?! OK….Hi, I’m Elle Woods…and this is Bruiser Woods. And we’re both Gemini vegetarians. I have a bachelor’s degree for fashion merchandising at CULA. And I am a zeta lambda nu sweetheart. President of my sorority delta nu. And last year, I was homecoming queen. (pause). Oh! Two weeks ago I saw Cameron Diaz at a Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink, was seriously disturbed.
My name is David Kidney. I have a masters in Russian Literature, a Ph. D. in Bio-Chemistry aaaaaaaaaand………. for the last eighteen months I’ve been aaaaa….. DEWORMING ORPHANS IN SOMALIA.
No one’s called mme a butthead since like, 9th grade
Oh and last week I saw Cameron Diaz in Fred Segal, whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously distubed!
Oh how cute! There’s like a judge and everything! LOOK,JURY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! VOTE FOR ELLE!
oh i like your costume too, but when i dress up like a frigid bitch i try not look so constipated
Oh my god the bend and snap works every time
OH MY GOD! That’s SO cute! there’s like a judge and EVERYTHING! and jury people… VOTE FOR ELLE!!
Oh my god, what are you doing?> Studying for the LSAT’s> Oh, my cousin had that, it’s where you get a really bad rash on you(hand motion) thingy..> No! the LSAT’s a re a test. Girls.. I’m going to Harvard! ? You mean, like on vaca?> Oh my god, let’s all go! > Road trip!
Oh my god…..What are you doing? *studying for the LSATS* (whispers) My cousin had that….apparently you get a really bad rash on your……..*The LSATS are an exam. Girls, I’m going to Harvard!* Like on Vacay? (both scream) ROAD TRIP!!!!!! *No, I’m going to Harvard Law School….* Why? Elle,Now I know you’re upset about all this,but can’t you just take a perkisit? *OK, once Warner sees me as a serious law student…..he’ll totally want me back! It’s a completely brilliant plan!!* Well then,you’ll be needing this.*Your scrunchie?* My lucky scrunchie! It helped me pass Spanish….(other girl) You passed Spanish because you gave professor Montoya a lap dance after finals! Yah…….LUCKILY!*smiles*
Oh my gosh, Warner. I’m planning this great mixer you totally have to help me. I’m thinking like a luau, or a casino night. This is gonna be just like senior year except for funner!
Oh Warner, I’ve waited so long to hear you say that – but if I’m gonna be partner in a law firm by the time I’m thirty, I’m gonna need a boyfriend that’s not such a complete bonehead!
oh was that before you voted against me and called me a dyke behind my back? i don’t used that word..u must have heard it from vivian.
Oh, I like your costum too, except when i dress like a fridged bitch, i try not to look so constipated
Oh,how cute! There’s like a judge and everything!! Look,Jury people! VOTE FOR ELLE!!!!!
OH,Warner…I’ve waited so long to hear you say that! But if I’m going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30…I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.
Ohh it’s so cute! There’s like a judge and everything! Vote for Elle!
On our very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle, The law is reason free from passion. Well…no offense to Aristotle, but in my 3 years at Harvard I have come to find that passion is a key ingredient to the study and practice of law…and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct…You must always have faith in people, but, most importantly, you must always have faith…in yourself. Congratulations, Class of 2004!! WE DID IT!!
Once i talked Cameron Diaz out of buying this haneous sweater from Fred Siegel’s, whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed
Oooh that’s so cute! There’s like a judge and everything!
She could use some mascara – and some serious highlights- but she’s not completely unfortunate looking.
she had 8 grilled cheese sandwhiches, just stuffed um in her mouth
She has the 6 carat Harry Winston on her boney unpolished finger.
She told me I look like Britney Spears! Why would she say that if she doesn’t like me?
she was sitting by the pool, topless, while the latin boy handed her a drink
So what has this Vivian got that you don’t? Three tits?
so when you said you would always love me…you were just DICKING around?
sp:did u see this dress, we just got it in?elle:is the lovesgosedy rayon? sp: yes elle: with a hlaf flip stich on the end? sp:of course, its one of a kind. elle: its impossible to use a half flip stich on lovesgosedy rayon … it would snag the fabric, and u did just get it in…i saw it in the june catolouge a year ago. so if ur trying to sell this to me for full price … u picked the wrong girl. girls : ouch!
Sweetie…Poohbear…
Thanks for inviting me girls…..this party is SUPERFUN!
that’s cause men are big, fat retards!
That’s touching,Elle. But we need an alibi.
The bend and snap! Works every time!
The law is reason free from passion….Does anyone know who spoke those immortal words? *Aristotle* Are you sure? *Yes* Would you be willing to stake your life on it? *I think so* (Taps guy on head) What about his life? *I don’t know. Well, I suggest knowing before speaking. The law leaves much room for interpretation but very little for self doubt……and you were right……….it was aristotle. (girl whispers)*good job*
The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo Girl would have known!
There is nothing that I love more than a dumb blonde with daddy’s plastic.
There’s nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy’s plastic.
This is gonna be just like senior year except for funner.
Totally look the part!
Vivian dumped Warner. Sh and Ele are now bet friends. Emmitt is proposing o Elle – Tonight.
Vivian- Nice outfit *laughs* Ele- Aww I like yours too, ‘cept when I dress up as a friggy bitch I try not to look so constipated
Vivian-I like your outfit Elle- thanks. i like yours to except when i dress up like a frigid bitch i try not 2 look so constapated Vivian-~*gasp*~
Vivian: I like your costume!
Elle: I like yours too, except when i dress up as a frigid bitch i try to look a little less constipated!
Vivian: Nice costume.
Elle: You too. Except that when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try to look a little less constipated.
Warner- poohbear, just get in the car Elle- no Warner- your gonna ruin your shoes Elle- eh… ok
Warner: So I think its time we…Elle: I do! Warner: break up Elle: Your breaking up with me?
Well, don’t you look like a walking felony?
What does she got that you don’t have, THREE TITS?
what does she have that you don’t?…….3 tits?
What, Like it’s hard?
what, practicly deformed?
WHAT? Practically de-foermed?
whoever said orange was the new pink is seriously disturbed!
WHoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed
Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
Whoever said orange was the new pink, was seriously disturbed.
Whoever said orange was the new pink, was seriously distured!
Why am I always so goddammn spastic?
Why am i always such a god damn spastic?
Why, is it because im too, blonde?
Yeah, and all I have are stretch marks and a fat ass.
You bitch!
you broke his nose? (oh my snap was all over the place elle) don’t worry my girlfriend serina once barfed on a guy during the blair witch project and they ended up dating for three months
You got an A because you gave the professor a lap dance.
Yeah, luckily.
you have to help me plan this really great clam bake and mixer…this year is gunna be just like old times…except for FUNNER!
~~~~~~
WARNER?!!
~~~~~~~~~
i feel free to use legal jargon in every day conversation…I OBJECT!
you know you’re really being a butthead!
you look like the 4th of july…mmm..makes me want a hotdog reall bad!!!
You look like the fourth of July! It makes me want a hot dog reaaalll baaaadd!
You look so…orange!
You look very nice today, Vivian.
you must always have faith in people..and most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself
You’re breaking up with me because I’m too….blonde!
You’re breaking up with me because I’m too…blonde?
Your outfit’s nice too. But at least when I dress like a fridgid bitch, I try not to look so constipated
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Legally Blonde’: Quotes from the movie ‘Legally Blonde’