Rick: Right Guard sports stick anything less…. Would be uncivilized. Director: the stick’s upside down. Rick: upside down.
#1: I’ve never had a real girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. I thought I’d never stop hurtin’. But you know what happened the very next week? 2: What? 1: My momma died. After that, I didn’t care no more about my balls hurtin’.
(1) I’ve got a new one I’ll show you. You get a piece of it, I’ll let you name it.
(2) I’d, uh, call it the masturbator.
(1)I never has a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought that I would be hurting for the rest of my life, but you know what happened the very next week?
(2) What?
(1) My momma died.
–That ball wouldn’t have been out of a lot of parks.
–Name one.
–Yellowstone.
…Tanaka, formerly of the Tokyo Giants, knocks himself out cold for the third time this week. Maybe in Japan thats better than actually catching the ball. Personaly I think he’s just trying to get out of the line up.
1. C’mon you’re not gonna let her get you down are you? You guys won last year just to spite her. I think she’s just what we need.
2. That was a different team last year skip.
1. Taylor! It’s not your job to make excuses! That’s all you guys do good! It’s either a leg thing! Or a spiritual thing! or a physcological thing! Or a heart attack!
2. Who used heart attack?
1. Me. (has a heart attack)
1. Harry! Wake Up!
2. Huh? My God! Good news fans! The Indians seem to be showing signs of life for the first time this season! The appear to be beating the crap out of each other! Looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn, and why not, everybody in the league’s hitting him these days. Monty, Vaughn’s carrying that left arm a little low, that may hurt him in the later rounds!
1. That was a different team last year skip.
2. Taylor! It’s not your job to make excuses! That’s all you guys do good! It’s either a leg thing, or a spiritual thing, or a physcological thing, or a heart attack!
1. Who used heart attack?
2. Me.(suffers a heart attack)
1. Wow! Willie’s really got some power.
2. Yeah for a guy who may be bagging groceries in a couple of weeks.
1: You ok, Pedro? 2: Ok? Free and Clear. 3: Did he just say ‘Free and Queer’?
a week later my momma died
All my love is gone.
And that might be a top nominie for the Trojan Boner Of The Week Award
Back goes Cerrano. He’ll need a rocket up his ass to catch this one. That baby is outta here.
Baker sends a real screamer towards short…. and he beats it with a head first slide, i think ill wet my self
Brown: Its either a leg thing, or an arm thing, oh a a heart attack.
Jake: Who used heart attack?
Brown: I did.
Fly ball…………… Caught
Good news, fans. The Indians are showing signs of life for the first time in weeks. As a matter of fact, they appear to be beating the crap out of each other
Harry wake up! Wake Up!
Huh?
Look!
My God! Good news fans! The Indians seem to showing signs of life for the first time in weeks! They appear to be beating the crap out of each other! Looks like Willie Hayes is trying to hit Rick Vaughn; And why not Everyone in the league does. Monte Vaughn is holding that left arm a little low, that may hurt him in the later rounds.
What are we gonna do now?
Toss them I guess.
The whole team?
(nods his head yes)
Alright! You’re outta here! All of ya!
HEY BLACK HAMMER!!!
hey mild thing, i think i loathe you…you didn’t think I’d abandon ya, did ya vaughn?…..you big piece of cow flop, you steaming pile of mastodon dung! bring out the pooper scooper…..you no talent, flash in the past, choke artist……huh, where ya goin vaughn, huh, you looking for your terminator, vaughn…..yeah, you get back in there vaughn!
Hey, Mr. Vaughn. I thought you started tonight. I did. Oh, I didn’t turn on the game untill the second inning.
Humiliator, lined to left. Base hit. Eliminator, lined to right. Another base hit. There’s some real puss lined to center.
I ain’t ever had a serious girlfriend like you or nothing, but this one time, I got kicked in the balls by a mule. I was in so much pain. But you know what happened the very next week? My momma died..hell, after that, I didn’t care about my balls hurtin no more. You see what I’m getting at?
I couldn’t hit sand if I fell off a camel
i love this shit i may move to england
I talked to a boy who hailed from downtown, and he says that the most grass he’s seen in his life is the one we play on right now.
Now, we’re in the goldarn Major Leagues boys. I’ve waited my whole life to get here, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna quit just because we ain’t doing so good.
I love to play baseball and I bet somewhere along the way you guys all did too.
I want parkman
I would’ve gone to see his movie, but it was only out for 2 1/2 hours. I was told, however, it was in focus.
I’ll be home soon sweetie! Ill be waiting for ya darling!
I’m the only winner on the team, the rest of ’em are losers–either by choice, or by birth.
ILL TELL YOU WHAT IF YOU CAN HIT THIS PITCH ILL LET YOU NAME IT OK! (HOME RUN) HOW BOUT THE MASTERBATER?
Look at that SCORE BOARD now Grasshopper!
Lou Brown: You guys won last year just to spite her.
Jake Taylor: Ah Lou they were a different team.
Lou Brown: TAYLOR! It’s not your job to make excuses! Thats all you guys do good! It’s either a leg thing!…or a spiritual thing!…or a psychological thing!…or a heart attack!!!
Jake Taylor: Who used heart attack?
Lou Brown: Me. [collapses]
Mild Thing, you make my butt sting!
Mr. Parkman, you’re a great ball player, but I would just like to say, You’re standing on the tracks and the train is coming through.
odiroferous, olflactagil, emancipations
Ok guys, we won last night and were gonna win tonight. That’s called a winning streak. It has happened before.
Ok Padro Big nock baby big nock!!!
Ok, guys. We’ve won two games in a row. If we win tonight, its called a winning streak. IT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.
So, the Indians have a runner. I think I’ll wet my pants.
So..The Indians have a runner…I think i’ll wet my pants.
Strike three!
The Indians Win! The Indians Win!
Oh, I gotta get out of this business!
That looked like the Terminator, only slower. Maybe it was his out-of-stater, or it could have been the Hibernator–that baby is definitely going away for the winter. Whatever for Vaughn, it might be see-ya-later. He’s probably gonna become a spectator.
The outfield walls now look like the yellow pages. And, any of you folks having trouble finding a good proctologist might want to come down here and check out the area around the 375 foot sign.
They’re gonna send me back to Omaha, and I don’t even live there.
Unless thats Shaquille O’Neal in right that babies outta here
welcome back to major league baseball… sort of
When the tough get going, the going get tough
Willie, get in there and run for Rube.
My legs are hurting.
I’ll run.
Sit down. Rube’s hurting worse than you are now get in there!
The gutless wonder doesn’t have to pitch why should I have to run?
Who are you calling a gutless wonder tin man, Y’know that leg has been the best acting you’ve done in weeks.
So, at least I don’t have an agent who’s interfering with people’s images all the time!
Women, can’t live with ’em and they can’t pee standing up.
Women. Can’t live without ’em and they can’t pee standing up.
Women. You can’t live with ’em, and they can’t pee standin’ up.
You BUSH LEAGUE,NO TALENT,FLASH-IN-THE-PAN CHOKE ARTIST!!!
You name your pitches now?
You’re standing on the tracks, and the train’s coming through, butthead.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Major League II’: Quotes from the movie ‘Major League II’