Since you’ve all been such good boys and girls, I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out for milk and cookies. There are buses outside. Everybody follow me.
(1)You don’t know the real me.
(2)There isn’t a real you.
(1)Oh yeah, I forgot.
–So you just pretend to be an asshole?
–It’s what I’m good at.
Andy Kaufman is Tony Clifton. And Tony Clifton is Andy Kaufman. They’ll deny it up and down. But believe me, it’s true!
Before we begin this event, I just wanna say a couple of things to you digusting people!
Fuck you!I’m not goin’!
Hello, I am Andy, and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie.I wish it was better, you know, but it’s so stupid. It’s terrible. I do not even like it. All of the most important things in my life are changed around and mixed up, um, for dramatic purposes, so I decided to cut out all of the baloney. Now the movie is much shorter. In fact, this is the end of the movie. I am not fooling. Goodbye. Go.
Here I come to save the day!
I am from Caspiar, an island in the Capian Sea. It sunk.
I am sick of this shit,Lawler.I am gonna sue you,I am gonna sue you for everything you got I swear to God.Fuck you!Ok?Ok,Lawler?Fuck you!
I don’t know if you are laughing at me or with me
I don’t know no Andy Kaufman!
I’m not a comedian! I’m a song and dance man.
I’ve gotta be me.
im just a lump
Kaufman, did you come here to wrestle or act like an ass?
Oh,you wanna wrassle me?You wanna wrassle me Memphis style?
One more song for you.
Rose Marie.
So..you wanna see Andy? Anybody gotta flashlight and a couple of shovels?
T: Whats your name?
B: Bob
T: Whats your last name…Up and Down the water…AHHHHHHHHH
TONY: CAN I USE THE BATHROOM, I MAY HAVE SHIT MY PANTS. GUARD: NOT ON THE LOT: TONY: DRINK OF WATER? GUARD:(SHAKES HEAD) TONY: ASPIRINE? GUARD:(SHAKES HEAD) TONY: MOIST TOWELETTE? GUARD: (SHAKES HEAD) TONY: WELL, IN THAT CASE A GOOD DAY.
TONY: I MAY HAVE SHIT MY PANTS. GUARD: NOT ON THE LOT: TONY: DRINK OF WATER? GUARD:(SHAKES HEAD) TONY: ASPRINE? GUARD:(SHAKES HEAD) TONY: MOIST TOWELETTE? GUARD: (SHAKES HEAD) TONY: WELL, IN THAT CASE A GOOD DAY.
TONY: Whoa! Look out, I think you sat in some cottage cheese. Oh pardon me, that’s your ass.
You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.
Your’e so proud.You’re like some stupid kid who came home from school, Lood, Dad.I got an F.
[singing] Italiano, Cachetori, Scallopini, Pastafazool.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Man on the Moon’: Quotes from the movie ‘Man on the Moon’