The Mask: No it wasn’t me it was the one armed man, alright i confess i did it ya here and i’m glad glad i tell ya, what are they gonna do to me searg what are they gonna do? Seargent: Sorry son thats not my deaprtment
1) As I was saying about that tie. It’s
like one of those, what do you
call them, ink blot tests.
2) Rorschach test.
3)
That’s it. It looks like… um.
A young woman riding bareback.
You know, like a Lady Godiva or
something….what do you see, Mr..Ipkiisss..
4)Uuhh..um..I don’t know. …Bold colors.
It’s a power tie, y’know? They’re
supposed to make you feel…
powerful.
1) But what should I do about my date?
2)
Your date?
3)
You know. Tonight. The park.
Tina. Do I go as myself of the
Mask?
4) If I tell you, would you leave my office…right now? 5) Yes.
5)
Go as yourself.
And as the Mask.
Because they are the one and the same,
beautiful person.
1) do you have the time? 2) as a matter of fact i do cubby. it is exactly two seconds before i honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head [ding]
1) Er, uh… Are you on the list?
2)
No, but I believe my friends are.
(fans a wad of cash)
Jackson, Lincoln and Roosevelt.
1) Green Civic… Green Civic. Oh
yeah! Brake drums are still on
order and I’m only halfway through
rebuilding the trans.
2)
But I just brought it in for an
oil change!
1) Ipkiss! Feeze ! ..Put your hands up ! 2)But you old me o reeze ! 1)Alright Alright : Unfreeze . You’re under arrest ! 2)No! It was not me ! It was the one armed man ! Alright I confess I did it you here and I’m glad ! Glad I tells ya ! WHat are they gonna do to me sarge ?!? What are they gonna do ? 1)Sorry son : That’s not my department . Search him ! 3) Really big sunglasses . 4) Bowling pin . 2) Little to the left . That’s it . 4) Ye-owww ! Mouse trap . 3) Umm… I dunno . Small mouth bass . 4) Rubber chicken . 3) Funny eyeball glasses . 2) I’ve never seen those before in my life . 4) Bazooka ? 2) I have a permit for that . 3) Picture of Calloway’s wife!! 1) WHat?!? 2) Uh-oh. 1)Margrett! You sonofabitch! 2) Gee’s I figured you had a sense of humour . After all : YOU married her !!!
1) Ipkiss! We have a crisis on our
hands here and you stroll in over
an hour late. If I have to put
up with your slovenly…
2)
Back off Monkey-Boy, before I tell
your daddy how you’re running this
branch like it’s your own personal
piggy bank! If the I.R.S. saw
some of those files we could
arrange a little vacation for you
at Club Fed!
3)
That will be all, Ipkiss.
1) Stanley Ipkiss, you are the nicest guy! Hey Charlie, isn’t Stanley the nicest guy?
1) That’s impossible. 2) no, those pajamas are impossible – this really happened
1) You know something Mrs Peenman 2) What?! 1)…Nothing 2) Well that’s what you are Ipkiss : A big nothing . *leaves* 1) Are you due back at the lab to get your bolts tightened ?…I shoulda said that
1) You on the list? 2) No, but I believe my friends are, perhaps you know them…Franklin, Grant, and Jackson!
1) You’re Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss?
2)
That’s right.
3)
Some kind of prowler broke in and
attacked Mrs. Peenman.
4)
Really? I didn’t hear a thing.
5)
Then you must be a pretty sound
sleeper, Ipkiss ’cause she
unloaded a couple rounds of 20
buckshot five feet from your
door.
6) That’s impossible… 7) Those pajamas are impossible, this actually happened.
all righty then
Are ya feeling lucky? Well are ya, punk?
Aren’t you due back at the laboratory to get your bolts tightened?! I should’ve said that
AREN’T YOU DUE BACK AT THE LABORTORY TO GET YOUR BOLTS TIGHTENED?!!?…I should of have said that
Back off, monkey boy!
Bank Manager: Ipkiss! We have a crisis on our hands and you stroll in over an hour late…
Stanley Ipkiss: Back off monkey-boy, or I’ll tell your daddy you’re running this place like you’re own personal piggie-bank or maybe I should call the IRS and arrange a little vacation for you at club FED!
But it wasnt me, It was the one armed man!
Can’t make a scene if you don’t have any green.I better make a little stop!
did you miss me? I GUESS NOT!
Fortunately , funeral boquets are deductable
Go get those Keys! Go get ’em! Go get ’em… not the cheese the keys!
Guy in Cadillac: Hey, get out of the road!
Mask: I think he wants to communicate.
AHOOGA!!!!!!
He’s a really modest guy. Although he’s the hottest guy. In Havana. In Havana.
Hey Ma! I’m roadkill!
Hey Stan!
Hold me closer Ed ! It ..it’s getting dark ! *cough* Tell aunty Em to let old yella out . *cough* Tell Tiny Yim : I won’t be comin ‘ome this Christmas *cough* Tell Scarlette I DO give a damn .
Hold me closer, Ed! It’s getting dark!!!! Tell Auntie Em I won’t be home this Christmas! Tell Scarlett I DO give a damn! (Hack, fart sound) Pardon me.
Hold me closer, Ed! It’s getting dark!!!! Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller out! Tell Tiny Tim I won’t ne home this Christmas. Tell Scarlett I DO give a damn! (Hack, fart sound) Pardon me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR LUG NUTS; IT’S TIME FOR AN OVERHAUL!
Hold the phone. Killer at three
o’clock.
I could only whisper your name.
I think he wants to communicate.
Ipkiss: I’m late for the ball!
Kellaway: Oh, gee whiz! Alice and the White Rabbit will be so disappointed!
It’s Party time PART, Y? because i gotta.
It’s Party time, P-A-R-T-WHY? Because I gotta!
It’s party time. P-A-R-T-WHY? Because I gotta!
Kellaway: Doyle, get in the car.
Doyle: But I ordered onion rings.
Kellaway: DOYLE!!!
Let the good times roll.
LET’S ROCK THIS JOINT!!!
LETS ROCK THIS JOINT!!!
Loki?
Look Ma, I’m road kill!
Milo, this could be dangerous. You stay here and be a good boy. Daddy’s gonna have to go kick some ass.
Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind of wood.
No!!It wasent MEE
Now you’re being cynical.
Ooooooo SMOKING!
Shut the door. Shut the door. Shut the window, I don’t care!
Smmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmokin
SMOKIN’!!!
SMOKINNNNGGG!!!!
Somebody stole your pajamas?!
Somebody stop me!!!
Sorry fellas : Waste not want not .
SSSPOOKY!!
that kind of girl’ll rip out your heart, put it in a blender and hit ‘frappe’!!
Thatsa spicy meetball !
The Mask: Did you miss me?… I GUESS NOT!
They call me Cuban Pete ! I’m the King of the Rhumba beat ! When i play the maracas I go chicky-chicky-boom chick-chicky-boom chick-chicky-boom !
This business of love.
This is incredible, with these powers I could be a super hero. I could fight crime, protect the innocent, work for world peace! But first…
This is the moment of truth. When a man shows what he’s really made of. (gun cocks) Crap.
u r like a red red rose and i’m a little throny. cigratte? no? (blows) now like napolian i will divied and conquer
well, alrighty then
What side of whose bed did you wake up on?
You would be my baby.
You’re 40 minutes late.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Mask, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Mask, The’