Movie Quotes from Mr. Deeds: Quotes from the movie Mr. Deeds

Murph:Look at Deeds hangin out with Macanroe that’s awesome! Crazy Eyes: I love the beach boy’s!

#1)That’s hawaiian punch. #2)He adored hawaiian punch. #1)WOW! You kinda just… snuck up on me there, man. #2)I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

#1)This was our fireplace, where my dad would build fires… out of wood. And– And this is the dining room, where we would have our meals made of food. Oh, and this was my brother’s room. (opens door to closet)… My parents hated my brother. #2)My daddy built this house with his bare hands six years ago. #1)Well, your daddy is a liar.

1) Alright, peanutbutter and gumballs, nice combo. Don’t worry about what happened, time heals all things. Except these crazy eyes.
2)Well it’s good to be home, I know that much.
1)I wasn’t talking to you Deeds, I was talking to that squirrel over there.
2)Oh.

1) Did u used to have a hump on ur back? 2) Yes I had a slight hump. 3)Look, its little Quasi Modo all grown up

1) Enough about that! Tell me about this girl! 2) I like her. . . Shes a small town girl like me 3) the man at the pizza place takes over typing:Deedsy, you sick ass mo fo. you gotta tap that before she starts bumping other guys. 4) He thinks its you! He thinks its yoU!

1) Time heals all things…but it can’t fix these crazy eyes. 2) well…that’s too bad. 3) I wasn’t talking to you, Deeds. I was talking to that squirel over there. (shows a picture of a mountain goat.)

1) time heals all….except for these crazy eyes…2)oh, that’s too bad 3)i wasn’t talking to you Deeds, i was talking to that squirel over there. (shows a picture of a mountain goat)

1) well, here we are, Winchestertonfieldville. 2) YOu’ve gotta be shittin’ me.

1)Are you guys lost or something? 2)No, we’re acutally looking for a man named Longfellow Deeds. 1)Woah! That’s Deeds’ first name? I thought it was like Greg or something.

1)Are you related to Bill Dawson? 2)Uh, yes. He was my…relative.

1)Crazy-Eyes, I got your pizza just the way you like it. 2)French fries and oreos! You know me all too well, Deeds.

1)Have you ever played (tennis) before? 2) No, but Johnny MacInroe said it was wicked easy.

1)He’s right! I wudda beat my greedy ass red! 2)I wudda thrown myself off the merry-go-round! 3)I wudda tied myself naked to a chair and burned myself with lit cigarettes. 3)Anyone here every dream of becoming a phyciatrist?

1)Hey, how did you get down here so fast? 2)Sneaky, sneaky, sir.

1)Hey, man. what’s up? 2)Holy Canoli, you’re John McEnroe!

1)Hey, one more thing. I saw that couple over there, it’s their anniversary. Give them this. Don’t say it’s from us though. 2)This is like 20,000 dollars. 1)Tell them it was like a restaraunt giveaway or something like that.

1)How the hell does he climb like that? 2)He must have monkey blood in him or something!

1)How’s the elevator business treating you, Ruben? 2)Oh it has its ups and downs.

1)I got to ask you a question if it hits you is it my point or yours 2)yours

1)I gotta ask you though, if it hits you is it my point or yours? 2)Yours. 1)Well, I’m winning then, I guess.

1)I really like you a lot. 2)I like you too. 1)I can’t stop thinking about you. 2)I can’t stop thinking about YOU. 1)Please let me touch your feet. 2)Okay, this is getting weird. You can stand up now.

1)I see why you brought me here. To goof on me, huh? 2)Oh, no we wouldn’t do THAT! 1)I may be different from all you guys, but if you went to Mandrake Falls you’d look different to all of us. Only we wouldn’t laugh at you because it’s not good manners. Come on, Miss Dawson. I’m sorry you had to see this. (Everybody laughs at him) And by the way, if it wasn’t for Miss Dawson being here, I’d probably knock your heads in. 1)Oooooh! 3)I don’t mind. 2)Okay.

1)I’m from a little town too. 2)Where? 1)In Iowa. 2)What part? 1)Winchesterton…field…ville.

1)I’m not leaving without my kitties! 2)Well, how many cats do you have? 1)Seven. 2)Holy shit!

1)I’m still very worried about this. 2)What do you got in that pipe, hashish?!

1)Longfellow Deeds, our jackass of the week. 2)Oh no. They’re going to know my name’s Longfellow.

1)Look at Deedsy hangin’ out with McInroe! That’s awesome! 2)I love the Beach Boys!

1)My dad said he built this house with his bare hands six years ago. 2)Your dad is a LIAR!

1)Okay…you have a spastic colon. 2)That would explain a lot.

1)Remember I’m Pam Dawson: virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. 2)That’s priceless! You a virgin!

1)So Deeds, what’s new? 2)Well, I found out I have an uncle but he died. 3)Oh, that’s too bad. 2)He gave me 40 billion dollars though. 4)Well, that’s nice. 2)Oh yeah. 3)Don’t you go spending it all on some fancy record player. 2)I won’t.

1)That’s Hawaiian punch! 2)He adored Hawaiian punch! 1)Wow! You kinda just…snuck up on me there, man! 2)I fear you’re underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

1)We are looking for Longfellow Deeds. 2)is that Deed’s first name?
1) If its the same deeds u r thinking of then yes, that is deed’s first name. 2)well, i dont know deed’s first name, maybe its greg. 1)maybe its longfellow 2)well, i dont know. I have another friend named Greg, want me to call him up?

1)Well, other than a few foul words, he’s a good person. 2)He was WHAT? (takes off his belt) You were using foul language? 3)No Daddy! Noooooo!

1)What did you want to be? 2)I wanted to be a veterinarian. 1)Cool. Why would you want to do that? 2)I wanted to help sick animals. 1)And what do you do now? 2)I own a chain of slaughter houses. 1)Okay, you kinda went the other way on that one, didn’t you?

1)What’s Deedsy doing there? 2)Deeds? I thought we were watching Scooby Doo.

1)What’s Deedsy doing up there?! 2)Deeds? I thought we were watching Scooby Doo.

1)When Mr. Blake died, he left a large fortune of 40 billion dollars. He left it all to you, Deeds. 2)Wait…a second. You’re not off duty! You’re not even a cop!

1)Who are your friends? 2)well, this is secel and this is chuck. 1)oooh……… I dont like em!

1)Woah, you kinda snuck up on me, there. 2)I am very very sneaky, sir.

1)You’re not a school nurse. 2)Why don’t you believe me? 1)You’re too nice to be a school nurse. My school nurse was so mean to me whenever I’d say my stomach hurt, she’d tell me to stop complaining and go back to class. I miss my mother.

1. Hey Deeds, who’s your friends? 2. This is ____ and ___ 3. I don’t like em

All I heard was Blah, Blah, Blah, I’m a dirty tramp!

Are you sure about that?

b-b-b-b-b-bullshit

B-B-B-BULLSHIT!!

Boob

BOOB!!!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOP!

could u stop soaping your ass

Crazy-Eyes: I wasn’t talkin to you Deeds, I was talkin to that squrriel over there.
Deeds: Oh.

Deed’s information is good. Please stop soaping your ass.

deeds)why you in jail crazy-eyes? crazy-eyes) oh i bite at a mailman again, he was trying to cast a spell or something, you sure about that? deeds) i dont know maybe he was just waving.

deeds, you sick ass mofo, you gotta hit the before other guys start tappin’ that….. boo yea!

Deeds-So hows the elevator business going?
Ruben-Oh, you know, it has its ups and downs!
(both together)-HAHAHAH!

Deedsy, yo sick ass mo’fo, you gotta tap that before she goes off and starts bonin other guys kid…Boooyah! He thinks it’s you! He thinks it’s you! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Emillo: THAT IS MY BIRTHDAY! THAT IS ME! THAT IS MY MONEY!!

Emillo: WOO WOO

even after 50 year i will love your more even when your boobs sag all the way down to the floor

Fire makes me excited! (when she has the camera up her shirt)

Hard to breathe, feels like floating, so full of love my heart’s exploding, mouth is dry hands are shaking, my heart is yours for the taking, acting weird and not myself, dancing around like the Keebler elf, finally time for this poor schlub, to know how it feels to fall in love.

Hard to breathe, feels like floating, so full of love, my heart’s exploding.
Mouth is dry, hands are shaking, my heart is yours for the taking.
Acting weird, not myself, dancing around like the Keebler elf.
Finally time for this poor schlub to know how it feels to fall in lub.

hard to breeth feel’s like floating, so full of love my heart’s exploding, mouth is dry hands are shaking. my heart is yours for the taking, acting weird and not myself, dancing around like the keibler elf, finally time for this poor slub to no how it feels to fall in love.

Heroic is good…Depraved and insane is better. This footage you’re getting–gorgeous. Keep it commin’

Hey Crazy eyes here is your pizza just like you like it with oreos and pizza enjoy! 2) i already am!

hey crazy eyes i got your pizza just like you like it with oreos and french fries enjoy! 2) i already am

hey crazy eyes why are you in jail again 2) i bit a mailman again

Hey, all you guys, I noticed you were French. Opposite of Bonjour to you.

Holy sheet eet’s a cat.

How’s that frosty treatin you Cecil.

I fear you are underestimating the sneakiness, sir.

I hail from Spain..Olay (flips guy off)

i like feet, i do not know why…

I think Heather Lemmon’s got way too much time on her hands.
Whoopie-Doo!

I think I just shat myself.

I think I shat myself!!

I watch the stock market channel all the time – I just watch because I
suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun.

I watch the stock market channel all the time – I only do it because i suspect the newscaster guy of being an evil lepercon, he can bullshit everyone else but he aint foolin me

I watch the stock market channel all the time, I just watch because I suspect that anchor man of being an evil leprechaun. He can bullshit everybody else but he ain’t foolin’ me!

I watch the stock market channel all the time.

I watch the stock market channel alot. Actually i watch because i suspect one of the weathermen to be an evil leprachaun…he can bullshit everybody else but he aint foolin’ me!

I’m sorry, all I heard was blah, blah, blah I’m a dirty tramp

I’m very very sneaky

im sorry , all i heard was
blah blAh blah
iM A DiRTY TRAMP

im sorry all i heard was bla bla bla im a dirty little tramp!

Im sorry all I heard was, Blah, Blah, Blah, I’m a dirty Whore!

Is Longfellow deeds around here? Is that deed’s first name? If ur talking about Longfellow Deeds than yes. maybe its Frank? Or maybe its Longfellow? Maybe? but i don’t know

It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

Love ya Anderson…

Miss Dawson my tummy hurts…heehee….I got too much doodooin my underpants…make the stinky go away.

Mom, you were the one who brought me to planet earth,
You were the one who suffered through my 14 hour birth,
You were the one who made me lemonade when i came back from play,
I love you Mom, so have a wicked nice Mother’s Day!

My BACK hurts!!!

My friend got me a mug one time that said it’s hard to sour the eagles, when your surrounded by turkeys….but what you said was better.

Not right…it’s not right…

Now, Brother Preston is soaring with eagles above
Because he lived a life of love.
Yes, he’s flying way up high,
Because he was a supercool guy.
He’s gone away, too soon, it seems
Leaving behind his unfinished dreams.
Yes, we remember Preston Blake,
A man with faith no man could shake.
A strength no man could break.
A character no man could fake.
For goodness sake, let’s eat some cake.

Oh You Kinda Snuck Up On Me There- Deeds(Adam Sandler)
I’m Very Very Sneaky Sir- Ammelio

Oh, I’m sorry, all I heard was blah blah blah, I’m a dirty tramp.

Or should I say MEOW!

Shit no! I mean… NO.

Sneaky sneaky.

So how’s the elevator business treating ya, Ruben?
Oh it has it’s ups and downs… AHHAHAHAHHAA

The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever.

u climb mountains and built skycrapers u made tv shows and put out newspapers u were wicked good at doing stocks u liked it when emilio would change ur socks we never hung out and that makes me sad all the good times we could had but when i die uncle preston u better say cheers cause me and u are hanging at the pearly gates il bring the beers……ill bring the beers

whats up chuck?

whoa easy fella’s boy the biggie fries are making a comeback.

Woo! Feelin’ crazy!

You make more money than any of us, what did ya blow it on?….Shoes!

You underestimate my sneakiness.

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