‘Alright Alex, I have a big job for you. I want you to stay here and protect the car.’ ‘Protect the car? Come on, dad. Just because I’m a kid, it doesn’t mean I’m stupid.’ ‘I know.’
‘Honey, what are you doing? These guys don’t use doors!’
‘It’s just a chest. No harm ever came from opening a chest.’ ‘Yeah, and no harm ever came from reading a book. Remember how that one went?’
‘What’s wrong with my car?’ ‘Well, I was forced to find an alternative mode of transportation.’ ‘A double-decker bus?!?’
‘Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you want to see her again, you’d better behave.’ ‘Lady, I don’t behave for my parents, what makes you think I’m going to do it for you?’ ‘Because your parents wouldn’t slip poisonous snakes into your bed…while you were sleeping’
(1)Alex, I’m serious. If you’ve lost that key, you’re grounded.
(2)I haven’t lost it. I just can’t find it. There’s a difference.
(1)But what shall I do?
(2)I don’t know, surprise me. Build a better mousetrap
(1)Okay.
(2)While your mother goes and desecrates another tomb.
(1)I swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.
(2)What, you mean attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?
(1)The Book of the Dead gives life.
(2)And the Book of the Living takes life away.
(1)You have remembered the old ways.
(2) (headbutts her) That’s a little something new!
(character is sword fighting)
1)Whoa mom, where did you learn that?
2)I have no idea!
(character punches and knees someone in groin)
2)That I learned from your father!
*Person 1 pulls up in a double decker bus*
Person 2-Whats wrong with my car?
Person 1-I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation.
Person 2-A DOUBLE DECKER BUS?!?!?!?!
Person 1-*points to person 3* It was his idea!*hysterical*
Person 3-Was not!!!!!!!
1) Give me that gold stick and you can shave my head, wax my legs and use me as a surfboard. 2) Didn’t we do that in Tripoli?
1) I’m sorry, you’re not catching me at my best. 2) Oh, I’m sure I am.
1) If I was to say to you I am a stranger travelling from the East seeking that which is lost 2) Then I would reply that I am a stranger travelling from the West, it is I whom you seek.
1) If I were to say to you, I am a stranger traveling from the east seeking that which is lost….2) Then I would reply I am the stranger from the west it is I whom you seek
1) O’Connell, you almost got me killed! 2) At least you didn’t get shot.
1) Sucker weighs a goddam ton!
2) Alex, watch your language
1) Rather weighty this.
1) Think of my children.
2) You don’t have any children!
1) Someday I might.
1) This is bad, Evie! 2) We’ve had bad before! 1) Yeah, but this is worse!!
1) What would you say if I told you that I was from the west seeking that which is lost ?
2) Then I would reply that I am from the east , I am that which you seek .
1) What’s wrong with my car ?
2) Well I was forced to find an alternative means of transport .
1) A double-deckor bus ?!?
1) You know Issy , You were right .
2) …I was ?
1) Yeah , You’re gonna get shot
1) You want the shottgun ?
2) No I preferr the Tommy
1) Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you want to see her again, you’d better behave. 2) Lady, I don’t behave for my parents, what makes you think I’m going to do it for you? 1) Because your parents woudn’t slip poisonous snakes into your bed….while you were sleeping.
1)Do you want the shotgun?
2)I prefer the Thompson.
1)For a minute there, I’d thought I’d lost you.
2)For a minute there you did. Would you like to know what heaven looks like?
1)Later.
1)Get out of my way or imma shoot you in the face! 2)He means it, he’s shot someone before.
1)It’s just a chest…no harm ever came from opening a chest.
2)Yeah, just like it was just a book! And look where that one got us!
1-Sucker weighs a goddang ton! 2-Alex watch your language. 1-Rather weighty this.
1-You know, it’s not…easy being a …dad. 2-Yeah. But you do it real good. 1-Thanks.
1. By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse.
2.You, lighten up.
3.You, big trouble.
4.You, get in the car.
1. We’re gonna wanna make it outta here, Izzy, so make this work. 2. No, you don’t understand, this thing was filled with gas! Not hot air, gas! Where am I gonna get gas from around here, bananas? mangos? Tarzan’s ass?
Alex: Come on, Dad, just because I’m a kid doesn’t mean I’m stupid.
Alex: Lady…I don’t behave for my parents. What makes you think I’m going to do it for you?
Alex: Mom what do I do with this chest? this sucker weighs a god dang ton. Evy: Alex watch your language. Alex: Rather weighty ,this.
Alex: Sucker weighs a goddang ton.
Evelyn: Alex, watch your language!
Alex: Rather weighty, this.
Alex: This thing weighs a G–damn ton!
Evie: Alex, watch your language!
Alex: Rather weighty, this.
Ardeth : [to Alex] By putting this on, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse.
[Alex gasps]
Rick: [to Ardeth] Okay. You, lighten up.
[to Alex]
Rick: You, big trouble.
[to Jonathan]
Rick: You, get in the car.
Ardeth Bey: If I were to say to you ‘I’m a stranger, traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost’…
O’Connell: Then I would reply that I am a traveler from the West, it is I whom you seek.
Because your parents wouldn’t slip poisonous snakes into your bed…while you were sleeping.
Bravo! Bravo! Well done, my daughter Nefertiri.
Definitely not the best idea. I think it’s time to yell for dad now.
Egyptian asps are quite poisonous.
Evie: How did you know?
Rick: I didn’t…but that’s always the story.
Evie: Its just a chest, no harm ever came from opening a chest.
Rick: No harm ever came from reading a book either and you remeber how that one went
Evie: Its just an Oasis…………….
Rick: Can we get those big drinks with the little umbrella’s??
(Evie nodds her head)
Rick: What’s the catch??
Evie: apparently it was the resting place of Anubus’ army.
Rick: See there?!? theres the catch. theres ALWAYS a catch.
Go To Hell!!! AND TAKE YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOU!!!!!
Have I kissed you today?
Honey, what are you doing? These guys don’t use doors!
Hunny , Whatchya doing ? : These guys don’t use doors
I knew it, I’m going to get shot!
I’M IN MOURNING FOR MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
If you see anyone run out screaming, it’s just me.
Imhotep: Gather your limbs, collect your bones, shake the earth from you, your master is here. DESTROY THEM!
Imhotep: Shamou…
Anock-su-namun: BURN HER!
It’s just an oasis darling. A beautiful,exciting,romantic oasis.
Jonathan: What are we going to do? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?!?!
Alex: You’re asking me?! I’m only 8 years old for christ’s sake!!
Jonathon, I thought I told you no more wild parties?
Last time I got shot in the ass. I’m in mourning for my ass.
Mom, Dad I can explain everything!!!
Mom….Dad….I can explain everything!
mum.. dad I can explain everything
Mummies,Pygmies,Big Bugs.
My dad is going to kick your ass.
My dad’s gonna kick your ass!
My God, how do I get this friggin’ thing off?
Nanukh hertakh. Nanus paranukh. Ibut-nut setna.
NO NO NO!!! NOT THE CAR!!!!!!
O’Connel: (moving quickly out of the way) Hey! Those things are poinous you know. Evie: (smilling)Only if they bite you.
OH OH YOU SEE THOSE SACRED STONES??? OH OH THEY’LL NEVER CROSS THOSE STONE.. ARE YOU SURE YEASSSS YEAAAAS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH WOOPSSSSS MY MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2)I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM..LOCKNA- HURRY UP!! ALEX-I CANT GO WHEN SOMEONES WATCHING….. LOCKNA TURNS AROUND, ALEX- IM AFRIAD YOU LOOK!!!!! LOCKNA SLAMS DOOR!! MUAHAH
3)THIS PLACE IS CURSED.. WILL YOU SHUTUP ABOUT THAT EH? YEA THIS IS CURSED THAT IS CURSED… ALIGH YOU TOO.
Oh, God. Not these guys again!
Oh, man. I hate mummies.
OK, you’re really starting to freak me out.
Person 1-By putting on the bracelet you could bring about the next apocalypse!
Person 2-*gasps*
Person 3-Alright, *points to 2* you, lighten up, *points to 1* you, big trouble, *points to 4* you, get in the car!
Put your mask back on. You wouldn’t want to scar that pretty face.
Put your mask on. Let’s not scar that pretty face.
Rick: Okay, you’re here, the bad guys are here, and Evie’s been kidnapped. Let me guess…
Ardeth: Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave.
Jonathan: Don’t mean to point fingers, but isn’t it your job to make sure that doesn’t happen?
The sands of time have already begun to fall against you.
There! You see? I knew there’s a catch. There’s ALWAYS a catch!
There’s a fine line between coincidence…and fate.
This is my house and I have rules about snakes and dismemberment.
This was…my first bus ride
Those knickers …are not mine
Till Death!!!!!
Why can’t you people ever keep your feet on the ground?
Yeah, no harm ever came from reading a book either.
You : Lighten up . You :big trouble . You : Get in the car
You know, if you do that fast enough you can almost write your name!
You know, if you do that fast enough, you can almost write your name.
You lighten up. You big trouble. You get in the car!
You, lighten up. You, big trouble. You, get in the car.
You, over here. You, big trouble.
[Evie is sword-fighting the bad guys]
Alex: Mom! Where’d you learn to do that?
Evie: I have no idea.
[knees a bad guy in the groin]
Evie: *That* I learned from your father.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Mummy Returns, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Mummy Returns, The’