“i’m just the token black guy. i’m supposed to smile, stay out of the conversation and say things like DAMN, SHIT, and THAT IS WHACK”…..”Jake, why is it whenever i tell a guy to put it wherever they want they always stick it in my ass?” “DAMN” “katherine that was too much information” “oh no jake, too much information would be telling you that when they’re done, i always take a huge dump” “SHIT” “on their chest” “Oh that is WHACK!!”
(black guy 1 to black guy 2) Uhh, what are you doing? I am supposed to be the only black guy at this party!
(Naked girl walks past) 1) …so fake 2) I agree, that’s not her real hair color
(watching a naked girl walk by her at a party) Oh, my God! I cannot believe she wore the same outfit as me!
*smells* MELANIE!
1) (talking about her mom’s death) The roads were….slippery. 2) Oh, Janey. Car accident? 1) No, cancer.
1) Girl go pee-pee not something I want to see-see. 2) I agree-gree.
1) How are we ever gonna lose our virginity by graduation? 2) Mitch, we’re freshmen.
1) I am a unique rebel. 2) Sounds more like your a lesbo. 3) Mitch, leave your sister alone. 1) Thank you, Daddy. 3) If your sister wants to be a rug-muncher, that’s her choice.
1) I’m Austin. 2) (shakes hands with 1) I’m Sandy Sue. LIPSTICK FAT FUCKER!!
1) Jake, I need some T to the fourth power Y! 2) Huh? 1) Some time to talk to you.
1) Just tell me the word, I’ll keep going. 2) Go! 1) Eenie, meenie miney… 2) Moe! 1) Your mother was a… 2) Ho! 1) He was a famous clown. 2) Bo-Bo! 3) (in a whiney voice) Mitch, cut it out! (mouths) Stop.
1) Thanks for the advice, Daddy. 2) That’s what I’m here for, Pumpkin-Tits.
1) You just got a dentention 2) That’s not fair 1) Cry me a river dickface
1) You’re leaving me for this guy? 2) I’m sorry, Jake, but we met on Spring Break. 3) (looking up from his video camera) I’m not ordinary. 1) You’re leaving me for this guy? 2) His name is Lex, and he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 3) Ah-hem. 2) And so is his bag.
1)So, what’s your name? 2)Why I’m Sandy Sue LIMP DICK FAG FUCKER!!! 1)Ok, who told you that? Was it, was it Alison? Because Alison was really bitter when we broke up.
1- Janie, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the most popular girl in school?
2- You mean anorexic, superficial, a bitch, a whore who lacks any real long-term goals?
1- Exactly.
1-I can’t believe no ones ever taken a dump on your chest before! 2-Will you be that guy?
1. How come whenever I tell I guy he can stick it wherever he wants, he always sticks it in my ass? 2. Uhh, thats too much in formation Cathrine 2. No, too much information would be saying that when there done, I always take a big dump.On their chest. 3. Damn, that shits whack!
1. your my sister!
2. only by blood.
1.)I’m sure it’s any hotter than in here. 2.) Molly, can u help me take off my panties 3.) I can’t. I have lotion all over my hands 2.) Oh that’s okay. You can use your mouth.
1.you better brrring it!
2.it’s already been brought’n!
10 Things I love About Janey, by Ricky Litmen,
I Love it when Janey talks
I Love it when Janey walks.
I Love it when Janey drinks
I Love it when Janey blinks.
I Love it when Janey says hi
I love it when Janey says..See ya in English.
I love following Janey to the mall
I love collecting strands of Janey’s hair, and rolling them up into little Janey hair balls.
1:So is that one for Ox or for Mitch? 2:Shut your hole wang chung! 1: I confused
This site is uglier than the turd I just took.
After all the god damn shannanigans you pulled last year, you should be thanking God you’re still in a god damn uniform god damn it!
all i’m supposed to say is stuff like ‘damn’, ‘shit’, and ‘that is wack’.
All right Jakey Jakey, about to make a big mistakey
Any chick with a guitar is hot. Even a hippy albino chick.
AUSTIN-all i said was,im pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear,so that jake here thinks that im telling a big secret,which will cause him to break into a hysterical confesion where he reveals a big secret , thus confirming everything i just whispered in your ear
Austin: Any girl with a guitar is hot. who cares that she’s a hippie albino, she could still be prom queen.
austin: congradulations jake, you just ruined my perfect season, senor you just ruined my perfect seasonn
Austin: Hi I’m Austin. Sandy Sue: Well I’m Sandy Sue… limp dick, fag fucker! Austin: Whoa! Who told you that? Was it Allison? Cause she was really bitter when we broke up.
Austin: Let’s find you a prom queen, Mr. Let’s Find Me A Prom Queen!
Be the ball, and throw yourself
Believe in the ball, and throw yourself.
Black cheerleader: Okay dont think your foolin us cuz i saw you at our practice and i know you ript off our routine!
Precilla:k i dont know waht youre talking about cuz weve always done our own cheers right girls…THATS RIGHT!
Black cheerleader:Well then you better bring it!
Precilla:oh its already been broughten!
black grl-well then u better brng it !
prisilla-oh its already been ber-ung!
random grl in groud- nice come bak prisilla!!!
BRING IT! priscilla: Oh it’s already been broughtin!
But not tonight.
Can’t fight this feeling.
Catherine: (singing) I don’t care if we have the same mother. Tonight, I’m gonna fuck my brother.
Catherine: Jake can you tell me why whenever i ask to put it anywhere they want they stick it in my ass Black guy: Damn Jake: that is way to much information Catherine: To much information would be telling you after they do that i take a dump Black guy: Shit Catherine: On there chest Black Guy: Now that is wack
catherine:Why is it that whenever I tell a guy they can stick it wherever they want they always stick it in my ass? Black guy: DAM! Jake:oh catherine that was way too much information! Catherine: no too much information would be that after theyre done i take an enourmous dump! jake:awww black guy: SHIT! Catherine: on their chest Jake: aww come on! black guy: oh now that is whack!
Cheerleaders): We’re black, we know it! We shake our big booties and we show it! We ain’t white! We ain’t white! We definitely ain’t white! Break it down niggers!
Cocky Blonde Guy: Well you always did have a thing for butt ugly gurls Mr. I have a thing for butt ugly gurls.
Cry Me a river,dickface
Damn That shit is wak
Do u think im just some cheap slut…I don’t fuck every pathetic guy that gives me a letter…I give them hand jobs
Don’t forget about me.
evry girl with a guitar is hot….
granted shes a hippy albino
Give me a H.. H! give me a u.. U! give me a giant pussy licking ass fucker cock shit!
give me a w, give me a y, give me a pussylicking arse cock shit!
GOD DAMN IT! You should be thanking GOD, that you’re on the GOD DAMN TEAM! GOD DAMN IT!
heavens to bettsy
Hippie Albino (sings): I have no pigments….. i need sun-screen.
HOLY SHIT THIS MOTHER FUCKER IS HEAVY NIGGERS SUCK MY DICK AND LAZY MEXICON SHOULD BE SHOT
HYE JANIE , oh hey jake, LISTEN IVE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING AND THE THING IS THERES SOMETHING I WANT TO ASK U,AND I DONT WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT …AND I DONT WANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT AND DRAG IT OUT , SO IM JUST GONNA LAY IT OUT THERE OK…here it is …see i dont like making big speeches , im a straight shooter i call em like i see em, wat wat u se is wat u get , aint nobody gonna break my stride , aint nobody gonna low me down, i dont know …
I am APPALLED! I can’t believe nobody has ever taken a dump on your chest!
I don’t need the class schedule. I come only to this school to be object of lust for poor nerds who cannot get American pussy.
i give them blowjobs
i have the perfect rebound girl 4 u
I melt with you.
I need no class schedule. I am only object of lust for poor nerds who can’t get any real American pussy.
I never said anything about a bet. All I said was ‘I’m pretending to whisper a big secret in your ear so that Jake here thinks I’m telling you a big secret, which will cause him to break into a hysterical confession, where he actually reveals a big secret. Thus confirming everything I just whispered in your ear.’
I never said anything about a bet. I just told her I ma pretending to tell you a really big secret which will force Jake into revealing, A really big secret thus confirming what i jsut whispered in your ear.
I spend weekend at grandfather’s… I played teatherball with my sister
I wish someone would take a dump on my chest
If my parents find out I got a detention I won’t be able to eat dessert for like a week! – Ox
If you leave.
Im Get n pussy no matter wot
im getting pussy no matter what
im gonna win her back no matter what it takes here i go im gonna forget about jake
In between days.
it was raining the roads were wet… oh janey car crash? No cancer
jake – come on man dont do this
austin- no man i think ill hang around…maybe tell janey a little S E C R A T ..P…??(mouthing the letter p ,thinking hard…)
JAKE- JANEY’S GOT A GUN! SO RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY……!
Jake: Comeon guys. She’s just an illusion. I mean you take the away her clothes, the smell of her hair, the face she makes when she’s tounging my balls.
Jake: One day you’ll catch me in bed with another woman and call me a slut. I’ll call you a cock tease and it’ll be over.
jake: you have her eyes
Janey – No ones allowed down here!
Jake – Listin, Janey..I was just thinking
Janey – How did you get in here i dead bolted the door?
Jake – There’s a hole in the side of your house..
(walks to stick figure painting)
Jake – Who’s that?
Janey – It’s my mom.
Jake – You have her eyes.
Janey – talking about her dead mom]: I remember it like it was yesterday, Christmas 1989, Dad had just gotten fired from the Zippo factory, Mom was still pulling in tricks to make ends meet, Daniel Day Lewis won an Oscar for My Left Foot, and all I wanted was one of those little Betsy Wetsy dolls. Jake): I remember those. Push her belly and she’d piss all over herself.
Janey – talking about her dead mum): She said she was going out to get my Dad a bottle of gin, but I knew she was going to get me that present. It was raining really hard that night, the roads were… slippery. Jake): … a car accident? Janey): No. Cancer.
janey-jake uve taught me to be myslef…u never saw me as the girl with glasses and a pone tail..
jake-dont forget about the paint covered overalls.
janey-right u never noticed thoses ither…..
Janey: How did u get in here? my dad bolted the door
Jake: Theirs a hole in the side of your house
janey: it was 1989 dad had just gotten fired from the zipper factory mum was still puliing in tricks to make ends meet, leonard J lewiss had just won an oscar for my left foot Jake: hmmm Janey: And all i wanted was one of those betsy wetsy dolls Jake: I remember those you’d push her belly and she’d piss all over herself Janey: She said she was going out to get dad a bottle of gin but i knew she was going to get me that present. It was raining really hard that night, the roads were slippery Jake: Oh Janey Car accident Janey: No cancer.
I was really hard after that i had to take on all her responsibilites coking cleaning breastfeeding mitch
Janey: You haven´t spoken to me for like for years, Jake.
Jake: Actually, it´s more like six. Because if the time you´re referring to when we were stansing in line to that movie theater, I was actually saying hey to a person right behind you.
(Janey leaves)
Janey:) I read Sylvia Plath, I listen to Bikini Kill and I eat Tofu. I am an unique individual. Mitch:) It sounds to me like you’re a lesbo.
janies got a gun…
Just beleive in the ball and throw yourself
Kristi-Molly,I can’t believe we just did all of that stuff to each other
Molly-It was a once in a lifetime experience and it will never happen again
Mitch-Shit we missed it
Let’s get one thing straight. This is not a cheerocracy. I am the cheertator here. I make the cheercisions around here, and I will deal with the cheeronsequnces. Now, if there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. Thank you.
Let’s get one thing straight. This is not a cheerocracy. I am the cheertator here. I make the cheercisions, and I will deal with the cheeronsequences. Now, if there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. Thank you.
Let’s go find you a prom queen, Mr. let’s go find me a prom queen.
Let’s make like a tree and branch.
Lets get one thing straight here. This is not a cheerocracy. I am the cheertator, I will make the cheercisions around here and I will deal with the cheeronsiquences. Now, if there are no more cheeruptions, we can cheertinue. Thank you.
lets hit the god damn showers god damn it
Lets make like a tree and branch
little miss ran-home-to-her-daddy.. ran home to her daddy
Mr Briggs:) Good night, Pumpkin Tits.
Mr Briggs:) Hey, uhh… I might be late to pick you guys up. Janey:) Why, do you have a job interview today, daddy? Mr. Briggs:) No honey, I’ll probably just be waaaay too drunk. Janey:) Oh, that’s good, we don’t want you drinking and driving. Mr. Briggs:) Oh, I’ll be driving. I’ll just be too shit-pissed to remember to pick you guys up!
My freshman year I threw 176 touchdown passes. My sophmore year I ran in 14 myself, with a sprained ankle, a broken phalange, a ruptured hematoma, and a subdermal hematoma.
Never let me down again.
Oh pick me, I’m the one!
Oh, yeah.
Oh. My. God. Look at that. That’s gonna stain!
okay, I don’t know what you’re talking about, cause we’ve ALWAYS done our routine…right girls?
THAT’S RIGHT
on janeys book-HOW TO GET THE POPULAR GUY WITH OUT COMPROMISING YOUR UNIQUE REBELLIUOSNESS.
on mickeys book-HOW TO GET THE UNIQUELY REBELLIUOS GIRL WHOS IN LOVE WITH THE POPULAR BOY.
ooh thats gonna stain
Please, please, please let me get what I want.
Pretty Ugly Girl: ….the roads were, slippery…..
Popular Jock:she died in a road accident? Pretty Ugly Girl:Cancer.
Pricilla:Jake I need some T to the 4th power Y
Priscilla: You put the suck in liposuction You put the ooo in jiu-jitsu You put the ism in This is all just a defense mechanism.
Pumpkin tits.
Put your head on my shoulder.
rickie: please pick me i’m the one
or later: I love it when janie walks, i love it when janie talks
I love love it when janie thinks, i love it when blinks
i love it when janie says hi, i love it when janie says
SEE YOU IN ENGLISH
I love following janey to the mall, but most of all i love (sob)
collecting tiny strands (sob) of janies hair and rolling them up into little
jnaie haaair balls.
teacher:thankyou rickie for that ‘interesting’ poem.
love zzanus and ‘rickie’…obsessed fans
road trip!
see shes like a flower you smell her… you touch her gently and you thank god that he created something so beautiful
She has glasses! And a ponytail! And she has paint on her overalls! What is that? She could never be prom queen!
She’s right… maybe you should get on that plane to Paris. Cause if you stay, we really only have the summer, then I go to college and we’ll talk on the phone and spend the occasional weekend together, which is nice. But chances are one night I’m gonna get wrecked and have unprotected sex with some girl in my dorm. You’ll find her thong and call me a slut… I’ll call you a cock-tease and we’ll break up. So when you really think about it, what’s the point?
SHUT YOUR HOLE WANG CHUNG!
shut your mouth wang chung
SINGING
1) I’m getting pussy no matter what
2) Even if it’s with dirty slut
3) True love is what i want the most
4) I just jacked off in your french toast
Singing: I don’t care if we have the same mother, tonight’s the night I’m going to fu@k my brother.
Singing: I just jerked off in your french toast.
sister: how come whenever i tell a guy he can do me where ever he wants he picks in the ass?
brother: that was way too much information…
sister: no too much information would be telling you that i shit on thier chests when were done
So Go….Eni meni mighty…MO your mother was a….HO a famous clown….BO BO..Mich cut it out!
Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I’m just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: *Damn,* *Shit,* and *That is whack.*
Tainted love.
take away her clothes, the way she does her hair, smell of her perfume, that cute little face she makes when shes tounging my balls
THAT is apalling. That really upsets me. I can’t believe nobody’s ever taken a dump on your chest before.
That is the worst pass i’ve ever seen….ever
that shit is wak
That was the worst pass i’ve ever seen….ever
That’s gonna stain!
THE SONG
Jake: I wish i didn’t make that bet, itz not the guy i wanna be, if i could just turn back the clock janey would still be, with me
Janey: Tell me mum what should i do, i love this boy, but he has been, untrue
Jake: I’ll do my best to make things right
Janey: I hope we could resolve this fight
together: It could happen (it could happen) at the prom – tonight
mitch: I’m gunna get pussy no matter what
asian boy: Even if it’s with dirty slut
other boy: true love is what i want the most
cook: i jus jerked off in your french toast
Catherine: I don’t care if we have the same mother, tonight i am gunna fuk my brother
Pricilla: in a few hours i’ll been queen of the prom
Dad: i’ve been an alcoholic since my first tour in nam
Austin: I askd janey to the prom and she duzn’t kno why
Malik: i’m jus in this song because i’m a black guy
Janey: i hav no money i have to make my own dress
exchange student: look at my breasts they are so perky yes
Jake: i’m gunna get her back no matter what it takes
Janey: here i go i’m gunna forget about jake
Then you better bring it. Its already been brung!
Trainer-Coach, it doesn’t look good.
Coach Badass-Can he play.
Trainer-Coach he’s in a coma.
Coach Badass-can he play.
Trainer- He can barely breathe, he should be rushed to the hospital.
Coach Badass-Reggie Ray stays in the game goddamn it.
Ali Abedi’s submission
Turning Japanese.
u would never suspect that everyone in this school is a prefessional dancer
we’re the north compton wildcats we black we kno it we shake our big bootys and show it. we aint white we aint white. we defly aint white BREAK IT DOWN NIGGAZ!
whaa happenin????.. damn shortie dawgs pretendin to be all asian and shit. that cracka is white! cant he see that YO!!!!!!!!!
Wham Bam! What The Fuck Just Happened?
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM ME DO YOU THINK THAT IM JUST GONNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU IM NOT A CHEAP SLUT I DON’T SCREW EVERY PATHTIC GUY THAT GIVES ME A LETTER I GIVE THEM HANDJOBS.
what up my yellow brotha
What’s she doing here? She graduated like four years ago!
wow that was the fasted first half o foot ball ive ever seen…
Yeah Mitch-CUT IT OUT! *mouths STOP*
Yoo hoo.
You can’t just start a slow clap at any old time
you little shit.
You think I just fuck every guy that gives me a letter?! I give them hand jobs…
[Jakes dad puts up princton poster] [Jake walks in the room]
Jake: Dad how many times do i have to tell you im not going to Princton Dad: Im just saying try it out for four years and if that doesnt work you can come work with me Jake: Im Not going to live YOUR LIFE!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Not Another Teen Movie’: Quotes from the movie ‘Not Another Teen Movie’