1) No…I just, I had an aspirin. 2) Are you sure it was an aspirin? 1) (scoffs) A prisoner gave it to me. 3) (sarcastically) Oh, well if a prisoner gave it to you…
1) You’re throwing us out? 2) Good heavens, no. Security will do that.
1)henry you’re hungary, just eat a cracker and you’ll be filled with hope 2)no i will not be filled with hope, i will be filled with cracker!
1. henry u know me when i’m hungy i’ll seduce anybody. 2 oh, that’s comforting!
1. Is this the end of line? 2. No, looks like you are
1. Oh, you don’t have the key. 2. Murray has the key.
1. They didn’t lose them they just can’t find them. 2. Well suppose they don’t find them! 1. Well, then they’re lost. 2. I just said that!
1. We are not permitted to serve beverages during take off or landing. Would you like a glass of water? 2. Isn’t water a beverage?
1. You gave my watch to a man in a black cape? why? 2. It looked like her had a knife under the cape. 1. Did you see the knife? 2. A man in black cape dosent stand over you at 4 o’clock in the morning if he dosen’t have a knife does he? 1. I don’t know. It never came up before.
1/ George, I stepped on a bottle and broke the hell of my shoe
2/ What?? Well how did you go and do a thing like that???
1/ By stepping on a bottle and breaking the heal of my shoe, George
1/_I’m so humiliated!
2/_It’s all in the lawsuit… Murray; the humiliation; everything!
1/_What did you say, George?
2/_*What did I say?* errr, what do you think?
1/_I dunno, George… I was hoping you would say no. I was hoping you would say that you and your wife don’t really belong in New York. That you wannna live the rest of your life in Ohio, that you never want to see a big city again as long as you live. That you don’t wanna live here or Chicago or San Francisco or New Orleans or Paris or any other place where people have to live on top of each other. Or where don’t have room to walk or to breathe of to smile at each other. And you don’t wanna step on garbage on the streets or be attacked by dogs or have to give away watches in the middle of your sleep to men in black capes. You’re through travelling on trains that have no place to sit and no food to eat and you don’t want to travel on airplanes that have no place to land and no juggage for you when you land there. And you wish you never came here. And the only thing in the world you want is to pick up your wife and carry her to the airport and fly home and live happily ever after, that’s what I was hoping you would say, George
1/_That’s funny… that’s what I told ’em… word for word
1/_What did you say, George? 2/_*What did I say?* errr, what do you think? 1/_I dunno, George… I was hoping you would say no. I was hoping you would say that you and your wife don’t really belong in New York. That you wannna live the rest of your life in Ohio, that you never want to see a big city again as long as you live. That you don’t wanna live here or Chicago or San Francisco or New Orleans or Paris or any other place where people have to live on top of each other. Or where don’t have room to walk or to breathe or to smile at each other. And you don’t wanna step on garbage on the streets or be attacked by dogs or have to give away watches in the middle of your sleep to men in black capes. You’re through travelling on trains that have no place to sit and no food to eat and you don’t want to travel on airplanes that have no place to land and no luggage for you when you land there. And you wish you never came here. And the only thing in the world you want is to pick up your wife and carry her to the airport and fly home and live happily ever after, that’s what I was hoping you would say, George 1/_That’s funny… that’s what I told ’em… word for word
37,000 policemen in the city of New York. Not one will come out in the rain.
All I got is tonic water and clam juice-but it aint cold.
At 8:30 tonight we’re gonna be sitting down to one of the greatest meals in eating history, I’m not gonna ruin it with some stale chicken from the previous flight.
Did he say Benny or Bernie?
First they lose my baggage then they’re gonna send it to some nut name Frank Kellerman- you’re gonna hear from me if I don’t hear from you!
GEORGE: Gwen feel my chest. GWEN: Whats the matter you’re not having a heart attack? GEORGE: No I just wanna make sure we got the tickets feel my chest. GWEN: Yes, that feels like tickets to me. I wish that you would calm down George you’re getting me very nervous. I think I glued my eye together, it certainly is sticky.
GEORGE: Is this the end of the line for the dining car? GUY: No, looks like you are!
GEORGE: Thats not fog its thick clouds- they fly through this all the time theres nothing wrong. STEWARDESS: Yes sir? GEORGE: Is there anything wrong? I mean its over 35 minutes. STEWARDESS: I imagine we’ve run into some bad weather. GEORGE: Well you don’t hafta imagine just look out the window…
GEORGE: Well then say I did the right thing. Say that we’ll be happier in New York than we’ve ever been in our whole lives. GWEN: Yes, you did the right thing we’ll be happy in New York. GEORGE: IER- happIER in New York.
GEORGE: You cant guarantee a large gray suitcase and a small brown one. GWEN: Its a large brown one and a small gray one. GEORGE: Whats the difference what color they are if theyre lost!
GEORGE: You gave my watch to a man in black cape? Why? GWEN: Becuause it looked like he had a knife under the cape! GEORGE: Did you see the knife? GWEN: A man dosent stand over you at 4 oclock in the morning if he dosent have a knife DOES HE? GEORGE: I don’t know-it never came up before!
Give you a break, give you a break, hey! in the last 24 hours i have been rerouted,mugged, evicted, chased by a dog, kidnapped, chased by a horse, and seen in an incompromising postition by the mayor, i just found out that by daughter is spending us in the poor house, and my husband has no job! I’m angry,I’m tired, and im hungry, and im running with the wolves! So why don’t you give me a break!!!
Give you a break? Give YOU a break? So far I’ve been robbed by Andrew Llyod Webber, I’m tired, I’m cold, I’m hungry, and I am RUNNING WITH THE WOLVES! So don’t tell me to give YOU a break. *hands her the phone* (clears throat) Do I dial 9 to get out?
Grass … grass … grass in my ass!
grass…grass..grass in my ass!!
GWEN: Oh- why didn’t you just stop and explain?!
GEORGE: What I’m doing in the bushes with a little boy- with my hands in his pockets- they’ll give me 10-20 years.
I can verify that.
I do not want to wear, or discuss, your shoes!
I don’t know if you are a religios man Mr Moyers, but at two oclock I’d start praying for my job!
I Got no Money,I Got No Luggage!
I hope he’s a better pilot than a guesser.
I just chased a dog across Central Park for a half a box of Cracker Jacks
I just chased a dog across Central Park for half a box of Cracker Jacks.
I’m not talkin to you in the 3rd person I’m talking to myself in the 2nd person.
I’m supposed to be in New York Nad I’m in Boston looking for luggage which you assume isn’t lost!
I’ve got tonic water and clam juice, but it aint cold.
In there is a clean shirt and a razorblade, and out there is a crook with glasses and my key! Oh please, if theres’s any justice let Murray get mugged by the man who took my watch.
Is it necessary to take 2 minutes to tell me you can’t make it in 10, just get me to South Station!
Isn’t water a beverage?
let go of me knickers beatrice i got ta go to the loo.
Missed it, huh?
Murray has the key. In there a clean shirt, some shaving cream, and a razor blade, and out there is a crook with glasses and MY KEY!
My golf partner’s brother-in-law happens to be with the federal aviation boys in Washington DC, He’ll be getting a telegram tomorrow morning- from a SICK MAN in New York, whos medicine is in his luggage on a conveyor belt in Twin Oaks Ohio.
Of course it’s big, that why they call it New York.
Of course its big, thats why they call it New York.
Oh good I hope they enjoy the flight because I won’t be at my hotel at 8 o’clock, because my hotel gave away my room FOR WHICH MY HOTEL IS GOING TO BE SUED IN COURT BY MY LAWYER!
Oh my God, I lost my left eyelash.
Oh no really, we wont bear witness.
Oh please, if theres any justice let Murray get mugged by the man who took my watch.
Oh- dog’s collar came off. Corky- owner Mrs. Nancy Silverberg. Ok, Corky- Mrs. Silverberg- attention board of health.
say frisky
frisky frisky
STEWARDESS: Sir- would you please take your seat- and observe the No Smoking sign- GEORGE: Oh I observe it- I observe it!
STEWARDESS: Were not allowed to have the burners on during landing. GEORGE: Yes, but were not landing were circling. STEWARDESS: We are circling prior to landing. GEORGE: Yes but if we keep circling and circling thats not landing, thats flying. Is it possible to make coffee during flight?
Tell Dave that Murray sent you.
The cops are around, we gotta lay low for a while. Wow, I never thought I’d say that.
This is how I suck.
We don’t need praying at 2 o’clock, we need it now.
We’re from out of town George let the man fool with it.
Well ya flew me through the fog, how come all the sudden youre worried about 2 leather valises?!
What are you, 106?
Whats the difference what my name is were just gonna waste time discussing my name- er- Kellerman, George Kellerman, theres 10 seconds gone discussing my name.
who was this elk what spurned Tom Jones
With our luck we’ll probably be attacked in the middle of the night- by squirrels.
You already said that 3 times, meanwhile I’m drippin all over your lobby with an olive pit in my empty stomach- And my wife is shivering and limping with weak ankles. If I don’t get a room you and your hotel are FOURTH on my list to be sued, now I wanna see some action!
You could’ve been eating your breakfast in bed this morning- orange juice and eggs and sausage, buttered toast with marmelade, and a potful of hot coffee. Instead- you’re eating stale crackerjack that a dog left over in a underpass in Central park at exactly– where’s my watch?
You folks from out of town?
You mean your children won’t be able to get any milk?
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Out-of-Towners, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Out-of-Towners, The’