1) Junior, I’m going to have to take your allowance back. 2) The whole buck?! Hmm…I wonder if he has change for a twenty.
I wonder if penguins can fly?
Alright smart mouth now you’re gonna pay for it.
And hurry the hell up!! I’m not getting any younger!!! (ding)
Ben: TV? What’s TV compared to the call of the wild bobolink and that spruce over there?
(Ben passes gas)
Junior: That’s a pretty big bobolink!
Come on, little dork! I got something for you.
Drop your guns or I ice the padre!
Easy on the ear. lady, I gotta hear outta the thing!
eat smily pies till we drop
father…
i am here to talk about my son he does the most horrible things hidious things like
my father hates him my wife hates it and i’ve had it within my self aaaaaaaaaaaaarhgggh…
i failed father the kid hates me..
it’s time i faced up to what i do have to do i am gonna take him back to the orphanage…
(Juniour — dad you don’t wanna do that that’s the worse thing you can do..
he’s so big yesterday they didn’t even have a kid now they have a seven year old that’s gross i don’t want him at my party..
LUCY…
Ma he dresses like a man who created uncle leo.
Lucy is turning six this week and i don’t think we’ll have a clown this year or baloons or ice cream…
AHH i am having a birthday party saturday i think it would be nice if you came.
He’s the devil!!!!!!!!!!!
hey put that down that’s mine these are all of my presents.
I was only looking at it.
Well get a grip and get away from it it’s mine.
Who’s that..
He’s a new boy but he can’t play with us he’s got cuties.
And he’s not even a real kid he’s adopted…
Ewe gross..
Alright girls and boys come on out time for the magic show…
Alright…
You can’t come out…
Why not.
Because it’s my party and get to say who can watch my magic show and who can’t.
i wonder if they want me to clean the floor.
I’d sell my sould to the Japanese if they made me an offer.
It’s my party and i cry if i want to cry if i want to cry if i want to you would cry to if it happened to you.
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone
But Judy left the same time
Why was he holding her hand
When he supposed to be mine?
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
Play all my records,
Keep dancing all night
But leave me alone for a while
‘Till Johnny’s dancing with me,
I’ve got no reason to smile
It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
Judy and Johnny just walked trough the door
Like a Queen with her King
Oh what a birthday surprise,
Jude is wearing his ring
I’t my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
Ooooh
I’t my party and I’ll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
Cry if I want to
You would cry to if it happened to you
{fade out}
Junior, come back here, you little heathen! Junior! Where are you, you little creep!
Junior: Please don’t spank me, Mr. Healy.
Ben: Boy, Junior. I don’t want to, but you’re going to have to be punished, so I’m going to take back your allowance.
Junior: The whole buck?
Ben: That’s right. Just hand it over.
Junior as narrator: I wonder if he’s got change for a twenty.
Man on TV: I know that there’s no such thing in the world as a bad boy; I’m sure of that.
Junior as Narrator: UH, WHAT DOES HE KNOW?!
[Junior as baby throws toy through window.]
Oh my God, they’re retarded!
Oh my gosh! They’re daffy!
Perhaps this was the one step too far. This could be a problem!
Smiley Pies! I haven’t had one of these for fifteen years!
There is no thing in the world as a bad boy i am sure of that— TV
Juniour what does he know…
he throws rattle and smashes the window.
tighten that grip son and what ever you do hold onto the bat ok…
Yeah good idea hold onto the bat…
son of dork son of dork son of dork son of dork…
hey junior drop the bat son…
bangs ball onto pitcher ben– no that;s no good…
hey you can’t do that whoa….
Drop the bat junior are you nuts.
come on little dork i got something for you…
Oh..
touch down catch down touch down….
We’ve adopted satan..
We’ve adopted Satan!
Well, hurry the heck up! I’m not getting any younger.
What? he’s getting parold you know that guy he’s crazier than me
[Junior has turned the baseball game into a nightmare.]
Ben: [To himself.] We’ve adopted SATAN!
[The nuns are serving lunch at the orphanage.]
Nun: Eat all of your stew, children. A growing body needs nutrition…
[Junior approaches nun to be served.]
Nun: …AND DISCIPLINE!
Junior: If it’s so nutritious, how come I don’t see YOU eatin’ it?
[Nun serves strange and gross looking lunch.]
Junior as Narrator: I was never really sure which one I got; nutrition or discipline.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Problem Child’: Quotes from the movie ‘Problem Child’