We’re set to pop here, honey.
(1)Why do you say you feel trapped in a man’s body?
(2) Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps, real hard.
…and over here you got yer favoritism.
1) Not a pretty name is it HI? 2) No, sir. That’s one bonehead name, but ain’t me no more. 1)I hope you just ain’t telling us what we wanna hear. 2) No, sir. No way. 3) Cause we just wanna hear the truth. 2)well…then I guess I am telling you what you wanna hear. 3)Boy, didn’t we just tell you not to do that? 2) Yes, sir. 1)okay then.
1)… That Buford’s a sly one. Already knows his ABCs. But I’m sayin’, how’d ya get the kid?
2)Well this whole thing is just who knows who and favoritism. Ed has a friend at one of the agencies.
1)Well maybe she can do something for me’n Dot. See there’s something wrong with m’semen. Say, that reminds me! What you gonna call him?
2)Uh, Ed-Ed Jr.
1)and when there was no crawdad to be found we ate sand 2) you ate what? 1) We ate sand 2) You ate sand?
1)You mean you … busted outta jail.
2)No ma’am. See, we release ourselves on our own recognizance …
3)What Ellis here means to say is that we felt the institution no longer had anything to offer us … my Lord, he’s cute!
1] Didnt we tell you not to do that?2] yes sir 1]ok then
A: Alright … everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.
B:(After a pause) Well, which is it, young feller? You want I should freeze or you want I should drop? Mean to say, if’n I freeze, I cain’t rightly drop. And if’n I drop, I’m-a gonna be in motion. See what I’m sayi–
A: Shut up! Just get down on the ground!
C: Yeah, ya’ll can just forget that stuff about freezin.
B: Okay, then.
A: All right, let’s … SHIT! Where’d the tellers go??
D: (Chorus) We’re down here, sir.
C: They’re down on the floor like you commanded, Gail.
A: Dammit, I told you not to use my damned name! Can’t you try to keep from forgettin that??
C: (After a pause, slyly) Not even your code name?
A: Oh yeah, that’s right. My code name.
C: You hear that, you dang hayseeds? We’re using codenames.
A: All right! We’re just about ready to begin robbin’ proper!
A: Hey, that reminds me…how’d you and Ed get a kid so fast? Dot and I tried to adopt and they told us we’d have to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said FIVE years?…what else you got? They said they had a Negro with its heart born on the outside. It’s a crazy world. B: Someone oughta sell tickets. A: I’d buy one.
A: Twelve tables and no chairs? Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick! I’d ask my wife, she got more sense . … uh huh, and if a frog had wings it wouldn’t bump it’s ass a-hopping. Look, I am sick of your excuses, Miles. It is now precisely 8:45 in the p.m. I will be down there in exactly 12 hours to kick me some butt … or my name ain’t Nathan Arizona!
A: When I was a boy, we ate frog. And when there was no frog, we ate crawdads. And when there was no crawdads to be found, we ate sand.
B: You ate what?
A: We ate sand.
B: You ate SAND??
A: You got flies.
B: I doubt it. This place is climate-controlled. Who the hell are you?
A: My name is Smalls. Leonard Smalls. My friends call me Lenny … but I got no friends.
B: Oh, stop. You gonna make me bust out cryin. Listen, Leonard, if you’re here for a kitchen table or a shitbox, they’re out on the sales floor-
A: I am not a customer. I’m a manhunter. Some say, part hound dog. But when some dink busts out of jail, skips bail … I’m the one they call.
B: What’s that got to do with me?
A: I hear you have a baby you can’t put your hand to. I can find him for you.
B: Look, I’ve got the state cops, federal Bee Eye out looking for my boy-
A: Cops won’t find your boy. Cop couldn’t find his butt if it had a bell on it. You wanna find an outlaw, you call an outlaw. You wanna find a Dunkin Donuts, call a cop.
B: First of all, get your goddamn feet off my furniture. Second, it’s widely known I’ve posted a $10,000 reward for the return of my boy. Now if you can find him, claim it. Short of that, what have we got to talk about?
A: Price. Fair price. It’s not what you say it is, it’s what the market will bear. Now there are people — and mind you, I know em — who will pay a lot more than $10,000 for a healthy baby. Why, as a pup, I myself fetched $40,000 on the black market. And them’s 1954 dollars. Now, for $50,000, I’ll find him … I’ll catch the ones that took him … and I’ll kick their asses. No extra charge.
B: And if I don’t pay?
A: I’ll find the boy, regardless. If you don’t pay … the market will.
B: Know what I think? I think you’re an evil man. I think this is a shakedown. I think it’s a screwjob. I think you took my boy. And my fine friend, I think you’re the one who’s gonna get his ass kicked. I think I’m on the phone to the cops right now —
(Camera cuts to door swinging, sound of motorcycle fading off into the distance)
And it SEEMED real, it SEEMED like us, and it seemed like, well, our home–if not Arizona then a land not to far away, where all parents are strong and wise and capable, and all children are happy and beloved. I don’t know. Maybe it was Utah.
Aw, he don’t know a cuss word from shinola.
Aw, stop, you gonna make me bust out cryin’
Awful good cereal flakes, Ms. McDonnough.
Can I take a peek-a-loo?
Cop:Do you have any disgruntled employees? A:Well shit, they’re all disgruntled. I’m not running a daisy factory.
Cops won’t find your boy. You want to find an outlaw, you call an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin’ Donuts, you call a cop.
Don’t forget his fingerprints, Ed.
Duck your head, Mordechai.
fart
Give me my baby you WARTHOG FROM HELL!!!!!
Give me that baby, you warthog from hell!
Go out and git me a toddler, they got more then they can handle.
Goverment shore do take a bite, don’t she?
government do take a bite don’t she
H: Hey Glenn, you wanna beer? G: Does the pope wear a funny hat? H: Yeah Glenn, I s’pose it is kinda funny.
He was especially cruel to the little things.
He’s awful damn good. I think I got the best one.
Her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase
Hey! You take that diper off your head, put it back on your sister!
HI, you are only hurting yourself with this rambunxious behavior….
Hit the deck, boy
Hold on Nathan We’re gonn’ go pick up daddy.
Honey, I think that I will just go out with the boys, and knock back a few Coke Colas…….
I am talking about sex boy what you talking about. I’m talking about Lamor!!!
I don’t know…they were jammies! They had Yodas and shit on ’em!
I kinda figured, Glen.
I’ll be taking these huggies and whatever cash ya got.
I’ll take the Huggies, and, uh…. any other cash ya got.
I’ll take these here Huggies… and whatever cash you got.
I’ll take these Huggies and whatever cash you have in the register…..
I’m not complainin’, mind you; just sayin’ there ain’t no pancake
so thin it ain’t got two sides.
I’m talkin’ about sex, boy. I’m talkin about l’amour. I’m talkin’ me and Dot is swingers, as in to swing. I’m talkin’ what they call nowadays an open marriage….
I’m talking about me and Dottie are swingers, as in to swing… Man, I’m talking about wife swapping!
It seemed impossible… that this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee Valley, should be infertile. But the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. Ed was inconsolable. She lost all interest in law enforcement and housekeeping. Soon after, she tendered her badge.
It’s a crazy world out there…someone ought to sell tickets…I’d buy one.
It’s all who ya know. And over here, you got yer favoritism.
mind his little fontanelle
mind you don’t cut yourself now Mordechai!
moving though we are, he just had himself a little ole rest stop.
my FI-ANCE left me.
My Fy-ance left me!!
no, not that mother scratcher! Bill Parker!
Not that mother-scratcher
not unless round’s funny
Now I know your partial to convience stores, but damn it HI the sun don’t rise and set on the corner grocery.
Now y’all who’re without sin can cast the first stone…
One time, I decided to make my own crawdads. I put em in the pot … but without the water, see? And it was just like making popcorn.
REPEAT OFFENDER……..
seed coul find no purchase
So, there’s Bill Parker, walking down mile, with a sandwich in one hand and a fucking head in the other!
Sometimes it’s a hard world for small things.
Sometimes your career’s got to come before family.
Son, dont print that. His momma reads that shes gonna lose all hope.
Son, you got a panty on your head.
That sonna-bitch; hold on, Nathan, we gonna go pick up daddy…
That there’s for his orthodonture and his university. Now, you soak his thumb in iodine, you might get by without the orthodonture, won’t knock a thing off the university
That there’s the divan
The doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase
They had Yoda’s and shit on ’em!
turn to the right!
We ate sand.
We released ourselves on our own recongnances. We felt the institution no longer had anything to offer us.
We released ourselves on our recognisance…We felt the instituion had nothing left to offer us.
Well now honey we been over this and over this. There’s what’s right and there’s what’s right, and never the twain shall meet.
Well, it ain’t Ozzie and Harriet.
What if a truck came along and splattered your brains all over the interstate? Where would that leave Ed and the little angel?
Why ain’t you breastfeedin’? You appear to be capable.
Why did you change your name to Nathan Arizona? Well, would you buy
furniture from a store called Unpainted Huffhinez?
Would you buy your furniture at a store called Unpainted Huffheinz?
Ya hear that… we’re using CODE names.
ya never leave a man behind
Yer young, and you got yer health. What do you wont with a JOB?
You keep your God Damn hands off my wife…….
You want to find a Dunkin’ Donuts, call a cop.
You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin’ Donuts, call a cop.
You’re a flower, you are. Just a little desert flower.
You’re young and you got your health. What do you want with a job?
[VOICE OVER]She said her fiancée had run off with a student cosmetologist who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Raising Arizona’: Quotes from the movie ‘Raising Arizona’