#1- Why? #2- Because it’s Hitler’s harmonica. #1- You’re driving his car.
(after losing a heart for a transplant)
1. I have lost my heart many times before, i make a joke so you forget how screwed you are
(The busload of Lucys are starting to get on Owen’s nerves)
OWEN(to himself):Two million dollars…Two million dollars…
-Bev this is a real job I swear! -What is it? -What is what? -The job, what’s the job? -Oh, INK…for fountain pens. -And they’re in New Mexico? I love New Mexico! Honey! We’ll go with you! -No! -Why not? -Because…uh we already paid for the room! Aha now who’s wasting money! (~I’ll have to get the rest…I can’t remember it all right now!)
-Hey! Where’d you get that? -It was on the seat. -You can’t play that! -Why not? -Because it’s HITLER’S harmonica! You can’t play HITLER’S harmonica! -Why not? You’re driving his car! -Yes but I’m not touching it with my mouth! I’m not sucking on the dashboard! I’m not getting his germs!
-How about a pit-stop?
-Sorry, this is a one way flight. There’s a bathroom in the back.
-The latch is broken. Anyone could just walk right in.
-So? Look, you ain’t got nothin’ these other Lucys haven’t seen before.
-Not necessarily.
-Wait – what’s this $150?
-Oh, those are your in-room movies.
-Oh, I didn’t watch any movies.
-Let’s see… Afro Whores.
-Afro Whores?
-It says you watched it… 11 times.
-No, I didn’t watch that.
– 2:00 Afro Whores, 3:30 Afro Whores, 5:00 Afro Whores… It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes, then switched back to Afro Whores.
1) I don’t know, it sounds like a scam. 2) (excited) Ooh, a scam! I love scams!
1) Put that down. 2) Why? 1) Because it’s Hitler’s harmonica. 2) So, you’re driving his car. 1) Yeah but I’m not touching it with my mouth. You don’t see me sucking on the dashboard.
1)Dad! I’m prairie-doggin’! 2)What’s that? 3)You know. When a prairie dog sticks his head in and out of the ground. 2)Oh. OH GOD!!! DID NOT WANT TO PICTURE THAT!
1)Dad, I can’t believe you stole Hitler’s mercades bends! 2)Yeah, well, Hitler had it coming! What goes around comes around!
1)Dad, I have to go. 2)Go find an empty jar. 3)Girls don’t pee in jars! 2)All right, all right. We need a jar and a funnel.
1)Dad, they’re gonna be pissed. 2)Of course, honey. They’re always pissed. They’re NAZIS!
1)Daddy, I’m Praire Dogging it! 2) What does hat mean? 3) You know like when a praire dog sticks it’s head in and out of the ground. 2) oh.OH! I do NOT WANT TO PICTURE THAT!!
1)Forget it! These other diciples can do whatever they want with their share but I’m keeping mine! 2)Put the money in the bag, carrot!
1)I know what you’re thinking. Enrico is a girl’s name. 2)No, I wasn’t. 1)No pun intended. 2)What pun is that?
1)I think we just killed him. 2)You can’t kill him. It’s impossible. He’s like a cocaroach!
1)I’m not a bus driver. 2)You musn’t be so hard on yourself. 3)Hey everybody, who’s the world’s greatest bus driver? All)Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen! Owen! 1)Shut up…shut up…SHUT UP YOU CRAZY LUCY BITCHES, SHUT UP!
1)Now, I need your hat. 2)My hat? What for? 1)For her, uh…VAGINA!
1)Oh look, a drifter. Let’s kill him.
1)Oh, look at these cock doggies. 2)They’re COCKTAIL WEENIES!
1)Open it! 2)Open it? I don’t think we should– 1)OPEN IT!!! 2)Okay.
1)We came in a rocket car. 2)That’s nice! Why don’t you tell us about it on the bus!
1)We need to pull over. I have to go. 2)There’s a bathroom in the back. 1)Well, the door’s broken. 2)It’s all right. I mean there’s nothing the other Lucy’s don’t have. 1(in a man’s voice) Don’t be too sure. 2)AHHHH!!!!
1)We’re not crazy! 2)We didn’t buy a squirrel and neither did you. 1)That’s why we stole the rocket car!
1)Who’s next? 2)I was. 3)No, I was! I’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes– 2)No, dude! I was next! 3)No you weren’t! 2)Is that the correct time? (1 turns around and 4 punches 3 out) 1)Who’s next?
1)Yeah, that’s nice. Do you know where the interstate is? 2)Well, of course I do. I’m not retareded! Tell them about the shortcut! Oh, the shortcut! Thanks, Bucky!
1. Wow! A barbie museum, can we stop? 2.) No 1.) No fair, we never go anywhere I wanna go 2.) Well, I’m sure your brother doesn’t want to go to the Barbie Museum 3.) Are you kidding. I’ll stop anywhere!
1.Dad I can’t believe you just stole Hitlers Mercedes Benz! 2. Ya well Hitler had it coming.
1:Have you seen this room?
2: yes, we’re in it!
A Race! A Race! It’s a Race!!
afro whores. What? i did not watch afro whores!
Am I too late? Look! I won a coin. A gooold coin. Ahh isn’t this wonderful? Look at this room. What a beautiful room. Have you seen this room? (yes! We’re in it!) Ahhhh.
Are you insane? This is Hilter’s car.
Are you insane? This is Hitler’s car.
Are you insane? This is Hitler’s car!
Are you leaving?
Did I come at a bad time??!!!
DONALD SINCLAIR:Rip Van Winkle pulled it off! You’ve got to love
a long shot!
Driver: Ican’t believe it, i lost the heart.
Enrico: Not to worry, I’ve lost my heart my heart many times (snorts) I make a joke, to help you forget how screwed you are
eets a race!eets a race!I’m weening!I’m weening!…I am a weener!
Enrico Pollini: Am I too late ? Look I won a coin, a gold coin! Oh, isn’t this wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! We’re in it!
Girl: Dad I hafta use the bathroom.
Dad: We just stopped you should’ve gone then.
Girl: I really gotta go!
Dad: Ok, Jason, get a jar.
Mom: Girls can’t go in jars.
Dad: Ok, Jason, get a jar and a funnel.
Girl: Dad! I hafta go number 2!
Dad: Hold it!
Girl: I’m prarie dogging!
Dad: What the hell is prarie dogging?
Jason: you know, when the prarie dog sticks its headin and out of the ground.
Dad and Mom: ohh…Bad mental picture…I did not need to know that!
Girl: Look, I’m Mrs. Hitler (putting on makeup she found in Hitler’s car)
good things take time… great things happen all at once
Hello, my name is enriquo. i know what you are thinking: that is a girl’s name. no pun intended
Here’s a bag of nuts. In case you see a squirrel.
Hey mister? Are you dead??
Honey, its two million dollars! that’s like a year’s supply of hummice!
Honey, kids need ya.
I am Enrico Palini. Now I know what you are thinking, Enrico is a girl’s name. (no I wasn’t) No pun intended.
I can do anything I want! I’m eccentric! rrr rrr
I can do anything I want, I’m eccentric! Rrrooa.
I do not want to work at HOME DEPOT!!
I like your dyke–I mean bike!
I love you dike…bike!
I made a joke.
I made a joke to help you forget how screwed you are
I make a joke, to help you forget how screwed you are.
I think I’m touching it!!
I’m praerie-doggin’!!!!
I’m prairie doggin’!!!!
I’m prairiedogging it
I’m your own brother and I can’t understand what the hell youre saying!
IM GOIN TO VIN!!!!!!!!
It’s a race, It’s a race, I’m winning, I’m winning
It’s a race…I hope I win!
Its true, you can break your neck. But its a risk Im willing to take.
Let’s cut to the chase. *laughs* Don’t worry,you’ll laugh later.
Little cock doggies.
Look, I’m Mrs. Hitler!
my english isnt very good…but im LEARNING
My name is Enriquo Panini. I know what you are thinking- Enrique is a girls name. hukhuk. Oooo Cock doggies!
my name is rupaul
my name is rupaul.
NICK: Can I buy you a drink?
TRACY: I can’t, I’m flying.
NICK: So? It’ll relax you.
TRACY: No, I mean I’m flying. I’m a pilot.
NICK: A pilot! Are there a lot of female pilots?
TRACY: There’s at least one.
Now, let’s cut to the chase–HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! CUT TO THE CHASE!!! HAHAHA! (everybody looks at him weird) Ah, you’ll laugh later.
Oh, yes I can Owen, I can do anything I like. I’m eccentric *grrrrowl*
Ooh! I’m getting goose-pimples!
S.S. men in the parking lot, not good, NOT GOOD!
Sadly…he was born without a personality
sg:ok, u walk accross the lobby, slip on the glass and let gravity do the rest. vv:i ud ake i eck sg: its true, you cud break your neck, but its a risk im willing to take. vv: y ont u uit? sg:becuz einstine, one of us neds to be the witness and one of us needs to be the victim. and wut kind of witness wud u make? im your own brother and i dont wut the hell your saying! by the way, hows your tongue, leet me see. vv:(opens moouth and shows tongue)ow uz it ook? sg:it looks much better.
Shutup you crazy Lucy bitches!!!
We are zooming!
We should have bought a squirrel
We wode on a wocket ship.
We’re HAULING ASS
What do you mean that’s it?? I’m not giving up and neither are you and neither am I!
What pun is that?
Where did you get that?
On the floor
You can not use that!
Why not?
Because it’s hitlers harmoncah
So your driving his car?
Yeah but im not getting his germs all over me…im not suckin on the dash board!
WHERE THE HELL IS THE AIRPORT?!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A SQUIRREL
You wanna buy a squirrel?
[After Sinclair has told them repeatedly to ‘go’, to no avail]
Merrill: So, when you say ‘go’, you mean, just go?
Donald Sinclair: Uh, being, commence, start moving… theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. Schaffer is in the lead because he’s nearest to the door.
[Sean and Charlene are in the pool,Tracy flies overhead yelling:]DID I COME AT A BAD TIME ASSHOLE?!
~i need your hat. ~my hat? why my hat? for..uh.. uh.. for her… VAGINA! the hat! give me your hat!!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Rat Race’: Quotes from the movie ‘Rat Race’