‘Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?’
(rubbing tips of his fingers together) You know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin, playing for the waitresses
*# Let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with big dick. The entire song is a metaphor for big dicks. *# No, it ain’t..It’s about a girl who’s very vulnerable. She’s been fucked over a few times and she meets a guy who’s sensitive. *# Whow whoa whoa, timeout. Tell that fucking bullshit to the tourists. *#Toby? who the fuck is Toby? *# Like A Virgin is not about some sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That’s what True Blue is about. No argument about that. *# Which one is True Blue? *# True Blue was a big-ass hit for Madonna. I don’t even follow that top-of-the-pops shit, and I’ve heard of True Blue. *#I didn’t say I ain’t heard of it. All I asked is how’s it go? Excuse me for not being the world’s biggest Madonna fan. *# Personally I can do without her. *# I used to like her early stuff, Borderline…but once she got off with that -Papa, don’t preach- phase, I tuned out. *# Hey, you guys are making me lose my train of thought here. I was saying something, what was it? *# Oh Toby’s that little Chinese girl. What was her last name? *# What’s that? *# Well, it’s an old address book I found in a coat I haven’t worn in a coon’s age. What was that name? *# What the fuck was I talking about? *# You said True Blue was about a guy and sensitive girl who meets a nice guy but Like A Virgin was a metaphor for big dicks. *# OK, let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine. I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick! *# How many dicks is that? *# A lot.. *# Then one day, she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’ like -whooaa baby- I mean this cad is like Charles Bronson in -The Great Escape- he’s digging tunnels. Now she’s getting serious dick action. She’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever…Pain, pain. *# Chew? Toby Chew? *# It hurts..It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt her. Y’know her pussy should be Bubble-Y
*Mr. White: Did you get fries…..to go with your soda.*
*Mr. Blonde: I had those already.*
…and…you’re gonna be okay. Now ay it! You’re gonna be okay! Say it! You’re gonna be okay! Say the goddamn words! You’re gonna be okay!
1) I’m talking morning, noon, night after night…dick dick dick dick dick
2) How many Dicks is that?
3) A lot
1) Why am I Mr. Pink 2) Cause you’re a faggot, that’s why!
1) You kill anybody? 2) A few cops 1) No real people? 2) Just cops.
1)Ain’t that a sad sight Daddy? The man goes in white and comes out talkin like a fuckin nigger.(To 2)You know, I think it’s all that black semen been pumped up your asshole. It’s backed into your brain and it’s comin out your mouth!
2)Eddie, if you talk like a bitch, I’m gonna slap you like a bitch.
1)Ain’t that a sad sight Daddy? The man goes in white and comes out tlkin like a fuckin nigger.(To 2)You know, I think it’s all that semen that’s been pumped up your asshole. It’s backed into your brain and it’s comin out your mouth!
2)Eddie, if you talk like a bitch I’m gonna slap you like a bitch.
1)did you kill anyone 2)a few cops 1)any real people 2)no just cops
1)For all I know, you’re the rat. 2)For all I know, you’re the fuckin’ rat! 1)All right, now you’re using your fuckin’ head.
1)How can you be so sure? 2)I got the diamonds. 1)That’s my boy.
1)Is it bad? 2)As opposed to good?
1)Relax. Have a cigarette. 2)I quit. 1)All right. 2)Why, you got one?
1)This is a hard job. 2)So is working at McDonald’s, but you don’t feel the need to tip them, do you? Well, why not? They’re serving you food.
1)Who didn’t throw in? 2)Mr.Pink. 1)Mr.Pink? Why not? 2)He don’t tip. 1)You don’t tip? What do you mean you ‘don’t tip’? 2)He don’t believe in it. 1)Shut up. What do you mean, you ‘don’t believe in it’?
1)Why can’t we pick our own colors? 2)No way, no way. Tried it once, it doesn’t work.
You get four guys all fightin’ over who’s gonna be Mr. Black.
1)Why do I have to be Mr. Pink? 2) Because you’re a faggot.
1)You kill anybody? 2)A few cops. 1)No real people?
1/_ Enough of this Mr White shit, ok?!
2/_ Jesus Christ, don’t tell me your name, I’m not gunna tell you mine!
1/_ I need you cool, are you cool?
2/_ I am cool
1/_For all I know, you’re the rat!
2/_For all I know, YOU’RE the fuckin’ rat!!
1/_Now ya usin’ ya head!
1/_I take it this is the bastard you told me about, why you beatin’ on him?
2/_Maybe he could tell us who the fuck set us up!
1/_ If you fuckin’ beat this prick long enough he’ll tell you who started the goddamn Chicago fire now that don’t necessarily make it fuckin’ so!!!
1/_Mr Blue is dead?
2/_Dead as Dillinger
1/_OK, let me tell you what Like A Virgin is about, it’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine. I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick!
2/_How many dicks is that?
3/_A lot..
1/_You’re not gunna fuckin’ die, listen to me, you’re gunna be fine… along with the kneecap, the gut is the most painful area a guy can get shit in…
2/_Shit!
1/_ But it takes a long time to die from it, I’m taking days… you’re gunna wish you were dead, but it takes a long time to die from your wound, time is on your side….
1: I’ve been here a long fucking time and she’s only refilled my coffee three times. I think she should be able to refill my coffee at least six times.
2: Excuse me, but I think the last fucking thing you need is another cup of coffee.
1: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
2: How many dicks is that?
1: A lot.
1: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
2: How many dicks is that?
3: A lot.
1: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’s like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he’s digging tunnels. Now, she’s gettin the serious dick action and she’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, Like a virgin.
1: Our girl was nice.
2: She was okay, but she wasn’t anything special.
1: What’s something special? Take you out back and suck your dick?
3: I’d go over twelve percent for that.
1:This is what he was doing, Bam… Bam… Bam… Bam… 2: Yeah bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I told em’ not to touch the fuckin’ alarm and they did, if they hadn’t of done, what I told em not to do, they’d still be alive… 1: My fucking hero!
1:Why didn’t ya tell me ya had cop in the trunk? 2:You never asked. 1:Har-de-fuckin-har.
1f I win I get to take you home and if you win you get to come home with me.
Don’t pussy out on me now. They don’t know. They don’t know shit. You’re not gonna get hurt. You’re fucking Baretta and they believed every fucking word, cuz you’re supercool.
A psychopath ain’t a professional. You can’t work with a psychopath.
All right ramblers, let’s get ramblin’.
All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you aren’t going to get.
Alright Ramblers, lets get ramblin’.
are
Are you going to bark all day little doggy? or are you going to bite.
Are you going to bark all day little doggy? Or are you going to bite?
Are you gonna bark all day lil’ doggie or are you gonna bite?
Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite.
are you gonna sit there and bark all day little doggie or are you gonna bite
Awright, enough of this shit!
because you’re a faggot alright!
Buddy I will shoot you in the face.
Come on Ramblers, let’s get ramblin’.
Did you use the commode story?
Either he’s alive or he’s dead, or the cops got him… or they don’t.
Everybody just calm the fuck down!
First I gotta show asshead that I can get a, you know, job, regular job-type-job.
For 15 minutes you have been dronning on….Toby….Toby…Toby Wong…Toby Wong….Toby Chung…Toby Chung fuckin’ Charlie Chan.
Fuck sides, man!! What we need here is a little solidarity!!
Fuck you! Fuck you! I’m fucking dying here! I’m fucking dying!
Gee, that was really exciting. I bet you’re a big Lee Marvin fan, aren’t you?
Hardy fuckin’ har.
Hey look daddy, he goes in a white man, and comes out talking like a fucking nigger.
Hey, you guys been listenin’ to K-Billy’s ‘Super Sounds of the ’70s’ weekend?
How’s Alabama?
I don’t give a fuck what you know or dn’t know…i’m gunna torture you anyway!
I don’t give a shit what you know, i’m going to kill you anyway.
I don’t tip.
I got Madonna’s big dick comin’ outta my left ear, and Toby the Jap… I don’t know what comin’ outta my right.
I got two words for that: Learn to fuckin’ type.
I gotta take a squirt, where’s the commode in this dungeon?
I have a little kid at home.
I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape. He’s
digging tunnels.
I might break you in, but then I’d make you my dog’s bitch.
I swear to God, I think I’m fuckin’ jinxed.
I’m hungry, let’s get a taco.
I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.
I’m hungry. Let’s go get a taco.
I’m very sorry the government taxes their tips, that’s fucked up. That ain’t my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn’t do that, I’ll sign it, put it to a vote, I’ll vote for it, but what I won’t do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuckin’ type, ’cause if you’re expecting me to help out with the rent you’re in for a big fuckin’ surprise.
I’ve got Madonna’s big dick coming out of my left ear and Toby the Jap, I don’t know what, coming out of my right. – Mr. White
If I were a butt cowboy I wouldn’t even throw you to the posse
If they hadn’t of done, what I told ’em not to do, they’d still be alive
If they wouldn’t have done, what I told them not to do, they’d still be alive.
If you beat this prick long enough, he’ll tell you he started the god damn Chicago fire, but that don’t necasarilly make it fuckin’ so!!
If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he’s Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.
If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he’s Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in.
If You shoot me in a dream ,you better wake up and apologize
If you’re talking like a bitch, I’m gonna slap you like a bitch!
It’s amusing to me…to torture a cop.
Joe, you kill that man you die next. Repeat, you kill that man you die next.
Joe: All right ramblers. Let’s get rambling.
Juicy, junior. Real juicy.
K Billy’s Supersounds of the Seventy’s keeps on…truckin’.
Larry I’m gonna die man!
Larry, don’t leave me!
Larry, I’m fuckin’ scared, man… will you please hold me?
Larry, I’m gonna fucking die…Larry.
Let’s go to work.
Let’s see what’s on K-Billy’s super sounds of the seventies weekend.
Listen, if you beat this prick long enough he’ll tell he started the goddamn Chicago Fire. Now that don’t neccessarily make it fucking so! Come on! Think!
man 1: i need you to be cool, are you cool
man 2:(kicks something) i’m cool
Mr Brown? That sounds too much like Mr Shit.
Mr. Brown – sounds like Mr. Shit!
mr. brown? that sounds too much like mr. shit.
Mr. White: Did you get fries…..to go with your soda.
Mr. Blonde: I had those already.
Never mind what you think, just cough up your buck like everyone else..
Nice Guy Eddie: Now if you torchure this man long enough, he’ll tell you he started the god damned Chicago Fire, now that don’t necessarily make it fuckin so!!!!
Now he knows a) your name, b) Where you’re from, c) What you look like and d) what your specialty is.
O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Okay, first things fuckin’ last!
Part of your job, Vic, will be going to all different places, that’s the beauty of it, we got places all over the place
Piss on this fucking turd
piss on this fucking turd!
She killed me
Shit, you shoot me in a dream and you’d better wake up and apologize.
Somebody’s shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name is on the handle!
Stop pointing that gun at my DAD!
That was the Partridge Family’s ‘Doesn’t Somebody Want to be Wanted?’
Followed by Edison Lighthouse’s ‘Love Grows Where my Rosemary Goes,’ as K-Billy’s ‘Super Sounds of the ’70s’ weekend just keeps on truckin’.
The choice between doing ten years and taking out some stupid motherfucker, ain’t no choice at all. But I ain’t no madman.
The choice between doing ten years in prison and taking out some stupid motherfucker ain’t no choice at all.
The guy’s a rabbit’s foot, for cryin’ out loud!
The Thing. Motherfucker looks just like the Thing!
The words ‘too fucking busy’ shouldn’t be in a waitress’ vocabulary.
Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’s like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he’s digging tunnels. Now, she’s gettin the serious dick action and she’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, Like a virgin.
There’s 2 ways you can go on this job… my way or the highway!!!
They get him, they can get you. They get you, they get closer to me and that can’t happen. And you’re acting like this is my fault? I didn’t tell him my name, I didn’t tell him where I was from. Shit, ten minutes ago you almost told me your name!
This is a very weird situation. ‘Cause I don’t know if you remember back in ’86 there was a major fucking drought. Nobody had anything. People were living on resin…-smoking the wood in their pipes for months. This chick had a bunch. And she’s begging me to sell it. So I told her I wasn’t going to be Joe the potman anymore, but I would take a little bit and sell it to my close, close, close friends. She agreed to that, said we’d keep the same arrangement as before; 10%, free pot for me, as long as I helped her out that weekend. She had a brick of weed she was selling, she didn’t want to go to the buy alone. Her brother usually goes with her, but he’s in county unexpectedly.
Toby Wong!….Toby Wong!….Toby Chung!….F***in’ Charlie Chang!
Toby…Toby…Toby Wong? Toby Wang?……Toby ……Toby
Torture you, that’s a good….good idea. Like that one.
u
Was that a fucking set-up or what?!
We got places all over the place.
We’re already freaked out.
Well, pretend your Don Rickles and tell a fucking joke.
What’s the commode story?
When you’re dealing with a store like this, they’re insured up the ass. They’re not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he’s Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, blood squirts out of his nose, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you’re gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it’s a manager, that’s a different story. Managers know better than to fuck around, so if you get one that’s giving you static, he probably thinks he’s a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a bitch in two. If you wanna know something and he won’t tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb’s next. After that he’ll tell you if he wears ladies underwear. I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.
Where’s the commode in this dungeon? I gotta take a squirt.
Who the fuck is Toby?
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa…time out, ‘Green Bay’…sell that shit to the tourists!
Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?
You don’t need proof when you have instinct.
You ever listen to K Billy’s Sounds of the Seventies?
You got guy, who thinks he’s Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun, and smash his nose in. He falls to the ground, blood squirts out of his nose, no one says f—in sh-t after that. You got some b-tch talk sh-t to ya, give her a look like you’ll smash her face in too…she’ll shut the f— up. Now the manaher is different. If he won’t answer a question you want to know, cut his finger off…the little one. If he’s still mouthy after that, cut his thumb off. Then he’ll tell ya if he wears ladies underwear. Now, I’m hungry, let’s get a taco.
You guys are acting like a bunch of fucking niggers man! You ever work with niggers? Always sayin they’re gonna kill each other!
You know what this is? It’s the world’s smallest violin playing just for the waitresses.
You know what you do in that situation?… you shit your pants, then dive in and swim
you shoot me in a dream you better wake up and apologize…
You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.
You shoot me in a dream, you’d better wake me up and apologize.
You shoot me in a dream, you’d better wake up and apologize.
You wanna fuck with me?! I’ll show you who you’re fucking with!
You’re a piece of work, my friend
You’re acting like a first year fucking thief, and I’m acting like a professional.
You’re gonna be okay! Say the fucking words!
You’re gonna be okay! Say the goddam words! You’re gonna be okay!
You’re not blind, you just got blood in your eyes.
You, buddy, are stuck in a situation you created. So if you wanna throw bad looks somewhere, throw ’em at a mirror.
Your acting like a bunch of niggers. You ever work with niggers? Just like you two, always saying they’re going to kill each other.
Your under arrest sugar
[song] Stuck In The Middle With You by Stealer’s Wheel
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Reservoir Dogs’: Quotes from the movie ‘Reservoir Dogs’