‘Beware Japanese waitress bearing fortune cookies.’
(1)Something is very fishy in Denmark.(2)AH Switerland!(1)AH! There too!
Dreyfuss: Idiot!
Clouseau: How was I to know he was the bank manager?
Dreyfuss: (Sarcastic) How were you to know the bank was being robbed?
Clouseau: That is correct.
Dreyfuss: What is correct?
Clouseau: I did not know the bank was being robbed because I was engaged in my sworn duty as a police officer.
Dreyfuss: You didn’t even arrest the old beggar.
Clouseau: There was some question as to whether the beggar or his minkey was breaking the leu (law).
Dreyfuss: ‘Minkey’?
Clouseau: What?
Dreyfuss: You said ‘minkey’!
Clouseau: That is correct, yes. Chimpanzee minkey. So I let them both off with a warning.
Dreyfuss: The beggar was the lookout man for the gang!
Clouseau: That is impossible.
Dreyfuss: Why?
Clouseau: He was blind. How can a blind man be a lookout?
Dreyfuss: How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!
Clouseau: It’s very simple. All he has to do is enlist–
Dreyfuss: Shut up! How do you know he was blind?
Clouseau: He told me so.
Dreyfuss: He told you so? And you believed him?
Clouseau: I had no reason to doubt him.
Dreyfuss: (Laughs) Would you believe me if I told you that I am not having you suspended for six months? Do you believe me?
Clouseau: If you say so, sir, yes.
Dreyfuss: Because I am a bigger liar than the beggar. You are suspended for six months, without pay!
Clouseau: Six months?
Dreyfuss: Effective immediately. Have you anything to say?
Clouseau: …Could they lend me fifty franks?
Dreyfuss: Will you get out? Out of my sight!
(A beggar sits in front of a bank playing an accordian. There is a monkey sitting next to him as Inspector Clouseau walks up.)
Clouseau: Do you have a license?
Beggar: What?
Clouseau: City ordinance 147-B prohibits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize without a proper license.
Beggar: I don’t understand.
Clouseau: It is against the leu (law) for you to play your musical instrument.
Beggar: Leu?
Clouseau: What?
Beggar: You say, it’s against the leu?
Clouseau: Yes. Unless you have a proper license.
Beggar: What kind of license?
Clouseau: A license that permits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize.
Beggar: Commercial enterprize?
Clouseau: Yes. You play that thing and people give you the muhnay.
Beggar: People give the monkey the money.
Clouseau: It is the same.
Beggar: Oh, no. I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me what to play, and I don’t tel him what to do with his money. (Through the window of the bank, you can see that it is being robbed. One day I came home and I found him sitting in my living room. I let him stay, but he pays for his own room and board.
Clouseau: Then the minkey’s (monkey’s) breaking the leu.
Beggar: But he doesn’t play any musical instrument.
Clouseau: City ordinance 132-R prohibits the begging.
Beggar: How do you know so much about city ordinances?
Clouseau: What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind?
Beggar: Yes.
Clouseau: …Oh, yes, I see, yes… Well you happen to be talking to a police officer. And since I expect to be transferred back to the detective department at any moment, I will let you
You are out of lighter fluid. Perhaps you would like me to…fill it for you?
CLOUSEAU: How can a blind man be a lookout? INSPECTOR: How can an idiot be a policeman? Answer me that!
Compared to Clouseau, Attila the Hun was a Red Cross worker!
Follow that car!
Good Sharkey, Colonel God!
Gstaad. Today a paradise in the Swiss Alps. Tomorrow, a wasteland!
I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn’t tell me
what to play and I don’t tell him what to do with his money.
I arrest you, Sir Charles Phantom, the notorious Pink Lytton.
I have fixed your doorbell from ze ringing. There is no charge.
I think he’s out of ammunition.
He’s out of his mind, thats what he’s out of!
Swine bird
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Return of the Pink Panther, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Return of the Pink Panther, The’