(telephone rings / 1 answers) 1. Hello? 2. Is this the Cocksucker residence? 1. Goddamn you! Stop calling here! 2. Isn’t this 4215 Pussy Way?!? 1. You bitch! 2. Now, let me check the zip code… 212FuckYou!!!
1. You can’t wear white shoes after Labor Day. 2. That’s not true anymore. 1. Yes, it is! Didn’t your mother ever tell you?!? (Thwack!) Now, you know. 2. No, please. Fashion has changed. 1. No, it hasn’t. (Thwack!) 2. Agh!
1:Hello?
2: Is this the C*cksucker residence?
1: God damn you! Stop calling here!
2: Is this 4215 Pussy Way?
1: You bitch!
2: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-f*ck-you?
1: The police are tracing this call this very minute.
2: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren’t they here, huh, f*ckface?
1: F*CK YOU!
(hangs up the phone)
2: Bwaahahahaha!
(calls her back)
1: DIDN’T I JUST SAY F*CK YOU?
2: (in a very friendly voice) I beg your pardon?
1: Who is this?
2: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you’re having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?
1: Oh Mrs. Wilson, I’m so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I’m a divorced woman, please help me.
2: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?
1: I can’t say the words out loud, I don’t use bad language.
2: Oh yes I know it’s difficult but we need to know the exact words.
1: I’ll try. C*CKSUCKER, that’s what she calls me.
2: (in original manly voice) LISTEN TO YOUR FILTHY MOUTH, YA F*CKIN WHORE!
1: GODDAMN YOU!
2: MOTHERF*CKER!
1: C*CKSUCKER!
Beverley: Are these… ‘Pussywillows?’
Rosemary: Dried ones, aren’t they pretty?
Dottie: (to Beverley) What did you say?
Beverley: (evil grin, as her voice deepens) Pussywillows, Dottie.
Beverley: Chip, the only ‘serial’ I know anything about is Rice Crispies.
Bindy: What a Bitch.
Chip: It’s the influence of all those family films.
Chip: I’m so happy I could shit.
Beverley: Chip, you know how much I hate the ‘brown’ word.
Dottie: (answering the phone) Didn’t I just say, fuck you?!
Beverley: (pretending to be someone else) I beg your pardon?
Dottie: Who is this?
Beverley: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. I understand your having problems with an obscene phone caller?
Dottie: Yes, I am. I’m sorry Mrs. Wilson, but this is driving me crazy. I’ve had my number changed three times already, I’m a divorced woman, please help me.
Beverley: What exactly does this sick individual say?
Dottie: I can’t say the words out loud. I don’t use bad language.
Beverley: Oh I know it’s difficult, but we need to know the exact words.
Dottie: I’ll try… Cocksucker, that’s what she calls me.
Beverley: (changes into her prank call voice) Listen to your filthy mouth, you Fucking Whore!
Dottie: Goddamn YOU!
Beverley: Muthafucker!
Dottie: Cocksucka! (slams the phone down)
Dottie: (on the telephone) Hello?
Beverley: (prank calling) Is this the cocksuckers residence?
Dottie: Goddamn you, stop calling here!
Beverley: Isn’t this 4125 Pussy Way?
Dottie: You Bitch!
Beverley: Now let me check the zip code; 212-fuck you?!
Dottie: The police are tracing this call, this very minute.
Beverley: Then why aren’t they here, hey Fuck Face?!
Dottie: Fuck You! (hangs up the phone)
Misty: (to a customer) Can I help you? (the woman shakes her head) Thanks for not buying anything.
Misty: Chip, our mother is Charles Manson.
Misty: He killed people, mum!
Beverley: We all have our bad days.
Are those….PUSSY willows???
Beverly: Dottie, are you insane? Dottie: No I’m not, you mother fucker! I’ll get you, you cocksucker! You lousy pigfucker! You ugly whore!
Beverly: Re-wind bitch!
Dottie: Did you see that? She just said fuck you to me. Well, fuck you too, you whore.
Garbage man 1: Somebody Ought to kill her.
Garbage Man 2: Yea…give her a nice *guuug* smiley face.
Listen to your filthy mouth, you fucking whore!
Misty – Carl makes me happy and that threatens this family, doesn’t it?
Dad – Doesn’t threaten me honey, I’m happy.
Mom – I’m happy too. We just want you to be happy.
Chip – I’m so happy I could shit!
Mom – Chip. You know how I hate the brown word.
Misty – He killed people, Mom!
Beverly – We all have our bad days.
Rosemary: Beverly, you have a little doo-doo on your shoe.
Thanks for not buying anything.
wear…your seatbelt….its the law!
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Serial Mom’: Quotes from the movie ‘Serial Mom’