Welcome to Duloc Such a perfect town Here we have some rules Let us lay them down Don’t make waves Stay in line And we’ll get along fine Duloc is a perfect place Please keep off of the grass Shine your shoes Wipe your… FACE. Duloc is, Duloc is Duloc is a perfect… place.
Donkey: Wow. Let’s do that again.
!: i hate it when u have someone there and u want em to leave and ur tryin to give hints but they ain’t noticing??? ………..2:(blank stare)2: Nad then thers dat aquard silence?? ( long silence) 1: Can i stay wit u???
(1) Do you know the muffin man? (2) The muffin man? (1) The muffin man! (2) Yes, I know the muffin man. The one who lives on Drury Lane? (1) Well, she’s married to the muffin man. (2) She’s married to the muffin man? (1) THE MUFFIN MAN!
(1) I steel from the rich and give to the needy. (2) He takes a wee percentage. (1) But I’m not greedy. I rescue pretty damsels. Man, I’m good. (All) What a guy! Monsieur Hood! (1) Break it down.
(1) You didn’t slay the dragon? (2) It’s on my todo list.
(1)Where IS that fire-breathin’ pain in the neck, anyway? (2)In the tower, waiting for us to rescue her. (1) I was TALKING about the DRAGON!
(Holds up 2 fingers) Pick 3 My Lord!
(looks at big castle) do you think he’s compensating for something?
(mumbling) Then I ate some rotten berries man that was some strong gas that was leekin out of my butt that day!
(Shrek and Donkey walk in the fields.shrek eat some vegtables and try to tell that about ogres,what peoples don,t know)
Shrek:Well…ogres are like onios!
Donkey:Sniff…Sniff…They stink?
Shrek:Yes.NO!
Donkey:They make cry?
Shrek:No!
Donkey:Oh,if you leave them in the sun,they get brown and have white hairs(Smilling broadly)
Shrek:No!!Layers!Onions have layers.Ogres have layers like onions.
Do you get it?We both have layers!Mrrrr…
(Shrek walk in the salad-field)
Donkey:Oh,you both have layers,hmmm…(Sniffing one onion,what Shrek
throw away)Butt everybody don,t like onions…CAKE!(Run to Shrek)
Everybody loves cakes,cakes have laeyrs! Shrek: I don,t care,what everyone likes!Ogres are… not… like… cakes!(Walk away)
Donkey (Think little second):Do you know what everybody likes?Parfait!
Nobody don,t say :i don,t like parfait,because those things are delicious…Shrek:NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
YOU STUPID,NOISY,IRRITATING,PATHCATIC MINATURE BEAST OF BURDERN!
OGRES ARE LIKE ONIONS,END OF STORY,BYE,BYE!(Whispering)see you later…
Donkey:Parfai is possibly the moust delicious thing in the
whole damn planet.
(shrek)Whatever u do donkey…don’t look down!
(Donkey) shrek, i’m looking down!!
(singing) i’m all alonnnnne…Theres no-body hereeee..
(whisper)This is the part where you un away.
…stay of of the grass, shine your shoes wipe your…..face
1) Are there any donkey’s up there? 2)well, there’s Gabby, the loud, and annoying 1) Oh I see it now, right there, the big shiny one 2) That would be the moon
1) Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Oh, this would be so much easier if i wasn’t color-blind!
1) DO you know ..the Muffin Man ?
2) The Muffin Man ?
1) The Muffin Man
2) Yes I know the muffin man . The One who lives on drewry lane ?
1) Yes , well..she’s married to the Muffin Man
2) The Muffin Man?!?!
1) The MUFFIN MAN !!
1) Donkey, it’s me, in this body. 2) Oh my God, you ate the princess! (Yelling at 1’s stomach) Can you hear me? Listen, keep breathing! I’m gonna get you outta there!
1) I love you.
2) Really?
3) Really, really.
4) I love you too.
1) I…I love you. 2) Really? 1) Really really.
1) Listen, little Donkey! Look at me! What am I? 2) Uh..really tall? 1) No, I’m an ogre! You know, grab your torches and pitchforks! Doesn’t that bother you? 2) Nope. 1) Really? 2) Really, really.
1) Ogres are like…onions. Yeah, ogres are like onions, that’s it.
2) They stink? 1) No, they have layers, donkey, layers! 2) Ohhhhhh, I see. So they like a cake then? 1) No, ogres are like onions and that’s it. 2) Well why can’t they be parfaits? Everybody like parfaits!
1) Run run run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’M THE GINGER BREADMAN! 2) You’re a monster! 1) No your the monster! You and the rest of you fairytale pests! Messing up my perfect world! 2) Bite me! *spits* 1) I’ve tried resoning with yourf kind but my pationse is at it’s end! Now tell me or I’ll- 1) No!!! Not my gumdrop buttons! 1) Well where are they?! 2) Do you know the muffin man? 1) Yes I know the muffin man. Who live down drewy lane? 2) Well, she’s married to the muffin man 1) THE MUFFIN MAN?!? 2) Yes the muffin man!! 1) She’s married to the muffin man… *thinks*
1) run, run, run as dast as you can you cant chatch me i’m the GINGER BREAD MAN!! 2)you a monster 1) im not the monster here you are, you and the rest of those fairy tale creatures destroying my perfect world. NOw tell me where are the rest? 2) EAT ME. 1) i’ve tried to be faie with you 2) NO NOT THE BUTTONS NOT MY GUM DROP BUTTONS! 1) WHERE ARE THEY THEN? 2) ok i’ll tell you. do you know the muffin man? 1) the muffin man? 2) THE MUFFIN MAN!! 1) yes i know the muffin man who lives on dreary lane? 2) well shes married to the muffin man. 1) shes married to the muffin 3) lord farquad we found it!
1) Run, run, run as fast as you can. You can’t catch me, I’m the Gingerbread Man! 2) You’re a monster! 1) I’m not a monster here, you are! You and those other fairy tale pests poisoning my perfect world! Now tell me, where are the others?! 2) Eat me!
1) So where is this fire-breathing, pain-in-the-neck anyway? 2) Inside, waiting for us to rescue her! 1) I was talking about the dragon.
1) That was incredible, where did you learn to do that!? 2) Well, when one lives alone, one must learn these things in case..in case..there’s an arrow in your butt!
1) The exit’s that way!
2) I have to go save my ass!
1) Uh,(name)you remember how you said ogres have layers? Well, donkeys don’t have any layers. 2) Oh, don’t tell me yo’re afraid of heights, Donkey. 1) No, it’s just that i have a huge problem of crossing a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava! 2)Don’t worry! I’ll be right behind you. We’ll take it one little baby step at a time. 1) Really? 2) Really, really.
1) We ogres are like onions, we have layers. 2) Well, why can’t you be a parfait? Everybody likes parfaits!
1) We ogres are like onions, we have layers. 2) Well, why can’t you be a parfait? Everybody likes parfaits! I mean have you ever walked up to someone who said that they don’t like parfaits?
1) What kind of knight are you? 2) One of a kind.
1) Who’d wanna live in a place like that ? 2) That’s my home 1) Oh well..it’s amazing what you can do on such a modest budjet …. I like that boudlder . That is a nice boulder .
1) You can just tell Lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I will be waiting for him right here. 2) I’m no one’s messenger boy. I’m a delivery boy!
1) You didn’t slay the dragon ?!?!
2) It’s on my ‘to do’ list
1) You wanna hold her? 2) Yes!! 1) Squeeze her? 2) Yeah!! 1) Please her? 2) YEAH!!! 1) (singing) Then you gotta gotta try a little tenderness!!
1) your a monster 2) i’m not the monster here, you are YOU and the rest of the fairy tail trash poisoning my perfect world, now my patience has reached it’s end tell me or i’ll (reaches out for the ginger bread man’s buttons) 1) not my buttons not my gumdrop buttons
2) alright then whose hiding them? 1) ok, i’ll tell you. Do you know the muffin man 2) the muffin man 1)The muffin man 2) yes i know the muffin man who lives on drurey lane? 1) well she’s married to the muffin man 2) the muffin man? 1) THE MUFFIN MAN! 2) she’s married to the muffin man
1)Alright, I’ll tell you. Do you know the muffin man? 2)The Muffin Man?1) the muffin man. 2) Yes, I know the muffin man, who lives on drury lane?
1)And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? 2)I hope you heard that she called me a noble steed. She think I’m a steed.
1)But, how will you kiss me? 2)What?! That wasn’t in the job description! 3)Maybe it’s a perk!
1)do you know the muffin man? 2)the muffin man? 1)the muffin man
2)yes I think I know the muffin man, who lives down drury lane? 1)she’s married to the muffin man 2)the muffin man? 1)THE MUFFIN MAN!
1)Hi, princess! 2)It talks! 3)Yeah, it’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick!
1)I saw this flower and tought of you because it’s pretty and well your pretty and even though i don’t like it i thought you would.
1)Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face you’re trying to give them a hint and they won’t leave. And then there’s that big awkward silence, you know? (Awkward silence) Can I stay with you? 2)Uh, what? 1)Can I stay with you, please?
1)Listen. Little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I? 2)Uh, really tall? 1)No! I’m an ogre! You know, Grab your torch and pitch forks! Doesn’t that bother you? 2)Nope. 1)Really? 2)Really, really.
1)Oh, no no no. Dead broad off the table! 2)Where are suppossed to put her? The bed’s taken.
1)Ok, um let’s see. Ogres are like onions! 2)(SNIFFS)They stink? !)Yes! No! 2)Oh, they make you cry? 1)No! (2)Oh, you leave ’em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin’ little white hairs? 1)No! Layers! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it. We both have layers. 2)Oh, you both have layers, oh. You know not everybody likes onions.
1)Ooh, did you do that? Man you gotta warn somebody when you hust crack one off. My mouth was open and everything. 2)trust if it was me… You’d be DEAD sniff sniff its brim stone we must be getting close 1)i know what i smell and it wasn’t no brimstone and it didn’t come off no stone either
1)So that must be Lord Farquaad’s castle. 2)Uh-huh. That’s the place. 1)You think maybe he’s compensating for something?
1)So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck, anyway? 2)Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. 1)I was talking about the dragon.
1)So where is this fire-breathing, pain-in-the-neck, anyway? 2)Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. 1)I was talking about the dragon.
1)So…uhh…where do i sleep? 2) Outside 1) Oh ok. I guess that’s cool, because I don’t really know you, and you dont really know me
1)Tell me or I’ll…2)No, not the buttons, not my gumdrop buttons!!!
1)You’re a monster. 2)I’m not the monster here, you are. You and the rest of that fairy tale trash poisoning my perfect world.
1)You’re, you’re a–an ogre. 2)Oh, you were expecting prince charming?
1-run run run as fast as you can,you cant catch me,i’m the gingerbread man!2-you’re a monster!1-i’m not the monster here,you are,you and the rest of that fairy tale trash are poisoning my perfect world.now tell me,where are the others?!2-eat me!1-i’ve tried to be fair to you creatures,now my patience has reached its end,tell me or ill…2-no not the buttons!not the gumdrop buttons!allright,i’ll tell you..do you know,the muffin man?1-the muffin man?!2-the muffin man!!1-yes i know the muffin man,who lives on druey lane?2-well shes married to the muffin man 1-the muffin man? 2-the muffin man!! 1-she’s married to the muffin man… 3-my lord!
1-tell me. 2-no. 1-tell. 2-okay, okay. do you know the muffin man? 1-the muffin man? 2-the muffin man. 1-who lives on drury lane? 2-yes. she’s married to the muffin man.
1. Did you do that? Man you gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off like that, my mouth was open and everything. 2. If it was me, you’d be dead! Its brimstone, we must be close. 1. What you talkin about brimstone, i know what i smell and it didnt come off no stone either.
1. I can fly! 2. He can talk!
1. Ogres are like onions. 2. They stink? 1. Yes, no. 2. Oh they make you cry? You leave em out in the sun and they start sprouting little white hairs? 1. No, ogres have layers, onions have layers. 2. Oh you both have layers. You know not everyone likes onions…cakes everyone likes cakes, cakes have layers. 1. I dont care what everyone likes, ogres are not like cakes. 2. You know what else evrybody likes? Parfait, you go up to someone and say you wanna get some parfait and they so hell no i dont like parfait? Parfaits are delicious! 1. No you minuature beast of vermin! Ogres are like onions, end of story! Bye-bye. See you later.
1. Well… do you know the muffin man? 2. The muffin man? 3. The muffin man. 4. Yes, I know the muffin man… who lives on a drewry lane? 5. Well… she’s married to the muffin man. 6. The muffin man? 7. THE MUFFIN MAN!
1. Where are you going? The exit’s that way! 2. Well, I have to save my ass!
1. who would wanna live in a place like that? 2. That would be my home 1. oh, and it’s lovely!!
1.) run run run as fast as you can you can’t catch me i’m the gingerbread man! 2.) You’re a monster! 1.) I’m not a monster here, you are! Now tell me, where are the others? 2.) EAT ME! 1.) Now I’ve tried to be fair to you creatures now my patience has reached its end! Now tell me – 2.) NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons! 1.) Tell me or I’ll – 2.) Alright! I’ll tell you! Do you know… the muffin man? 1.) The muffin man? 2.) The muffin man. 1.) Yes, i know the muffin man… Who lives in drewry lane? 2.) Well… she’s married to the muffin man. 1.) The muffin man? 2.) THE MUFFIN MAN! 1.) She’s married to the muffin man…
1.Do you know the muffin man? 2.The Muffin Man? The one that lives on drewy lane? 1.Yes, the MUFFIN man!! 2.Yes, go on 1. Well, she’s married to the muffin man
1.I’m an ogre, doesn’t that bother you? 2. No.
1.I’m not a puppet, i’m a real boy! 2.5 shillings for the possessed toy. take it away 1.Father! please! Don’t let them do this!
1.your a monster 2. me no im not a monster yet you are and all the other fairy tale creature ruining my perfect world not tell me 1 never i spit on you (spits on him 2. tell me or ill….. 1. NO not my button not my gumdrop buttons 2 then tell me 1 fine do you know the muffin man 2 the muffin man 1 the muffin man well shes married to the muffin man 2 the muffin man 1 THE MUFFIN MAN!!!! 2HMMM 3. my lord we found it 2 well what are you waiting for bring it in 2 magic mirror 1 Dont tell him anything (2 pushes him into trash can)2 evening mirror mirror on the wall is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all 3 well actually your not a king 2 flanoliuos ( smashes a mirror) 3 what i meant to say is your not a king yetbut u can become one 2 go on 3 so just sick back my lord and relax and meet today elgibale baheolorettes
1/ How will you kiss me?
2/ What??__ That wasn’t in the job description
1/ I was supposed to be rescued by a handsome prince, not an ogre and his pet!
2/ So much for *Noble Steed*
1/ What kind of a knight are you?
2/ One of a kind
1/ You didn’t slay the dragon??!!
2/ It’s on my *TO_DO* list, now let’s go!!!
1: Do you know the mafin-men? 2: The mafin-men? 1: The mafin-men.
2: Yes i know the mafin-men, who is on he re-lane? 1: Well, she’s married to the mafin-men. 2: The mafin-men??? 1: The mafin-men!
1: Wait, where are you going?
2: I have to save my ass.
1:By night one way,by day another
This shall be the norm,
Until you find true love’s first kiss,
And then take loves’ true form
2:I didn’t know you wrote poetry
1:Get her off of the table. 2:Where are we supposed to put her, the bed’s taken?
1:Ogres are like onions.
2: ‘Cause you smell bad?
1: No.
2: ‘Cause you make people cry?
1:NO! Layers! onions have layers, ogres have layers!
2: Why not cake? Cake’s got layers!
1: Donkey…
2: Or parfait…everybody loves parfait!
1:Ogres are like onions. 2:They stink? 1:Yes, no. 2:Oh, they make you cry? 1:No. 2:Oh, you leave them out in the sun and they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs. 1:No! layers! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers! You get it? We both have layers. 2:Oh, you both have lay-ers…you know not everyone likes onions. Hey, everybody likes cakes!
1:Whew, (name)! Did you do that? Man you got a warn somebody when you start crackin’ one off. My mouth was open and everything. 2:Believe me (name), if it was me, you’d be dead. It’s brimstone…we must be getting close.
5 shillings for the pessisted toy, take it away!
Shrek: Thanks, I’m here ’til Thursday.
Donkey: Shrek, I’m looking down!!
a.ok ok do you know the muffin man? b.the muffin man…? a.the muffin man do you know the muffin man…. a.yes i think i know the muffin man who lives on dreary lane
All right, nobody move! I’ve got a dragon here and I ain’t afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge
All right…dead broad off the table!
And do I detect a hint of minty freshness?
and in the mornin’..i’m making waffles!
And in the morning, I’m making WAFFLES!
And then there is snow white, she lived with 7 men but shes still not easy
Aw come on, you’re not that ugly, you…well I aint gonna lie, you are ugly, but you’re just ugly at night, Shrek, he’s ugly 24/7!
Aw, stop it. Nobody likes a kiss-ass.
Bachelorette number 2 is a cape wearin’ girl from the land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy. Just kiss her dead frozen lips and find out what a live wire she it. Give it up for Snooooooww White!
Blue flower red thorns, blue flower red thorns…this’d be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind
Blue flower red thorns, ok i’m on it blue flower red thorns, blue flower red thorns don’t die shrek and if you see along tunnel stay away form the light.
Blue flower red thorns. Blue flower red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t colour blind!
blue flower, red thorn, blue folwer, red thorn…… this’d be so much easier if i wasnt so damn colourblind.
Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easir if I wasn’t COLOR-BLIND
BLue Flowers, red thornes, BLue Flowers, red thornes, This would be so much easier if I wasn’t color blind!!
BY NIGHT ONE WAY BY DAY ANOTHER THIS SHALL BE THE NORM.UNTIL YOU FIND TRUE LOVE’S FIRST KISS, THEN TAKE LOVE’S TRUE FORM
By night one way, by day another, that will be the norm, until true loves first kiss, then you’ll take love’s true form.
cake, cake got layers, everybody likes cake. you know what else everybody likes – parfait, you ever say to some one lets go out and get some parfait they never say no, i dont like parfait. hey man you aint got like a tissue or something, cos my mouth is watering just thinking bout parfait.
Cakes! Everyone loves cakes!
Can I stay with’you?
…and in the morning im makin’ waffles!
celebrity marriages, they never last do they!
Certains d’entre vous mourront, mais c’est un sacrifice auquel je consens de male grace (Some of you may die, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make).
Cinq shillings pour la marionnette envoutee. Emmenez-la. (Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away).
coz you’re just reeking of feminine beauty
Did you hear that? She called me a noble steed. She think I’m a steed!
Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man?, The muffin man, yes i know the muffin man who lives on drooly lane?
Do you think he’s compensating for something?
Do you think maybe he’s compensating for something?
do you wanna hold her? please her? then u gotta gotta show a little tenderness!
Don’t tell him anything!!! *Try watchign the movie in spanish w/ spanish captions if you got the DVD*
Donkey Singing: Cause i’m all alone there’s No one here beside me my problems have all gone there’s know one here to deride me but you got to have friends.
donkey singing: On the road again, i can’t wait to get on the road again shrek: could you not sing please donkey:well can i whistle shrek: no donkey: well than can i hum? shrek:fine donkey hums the song he was singing before… hummmm hummm hum hum hummm
Donkey to Shrek (French) Il est beau, le gros caillou. (That is a nice boulder).
Shrek to Donkey: Je preserve mon intimite. I LIKE my privacy.
Donkey to Shrek (French): Hou! Tu as failli me toaster le poil du nez! (You almost burned my nose hair off!)
Donkey to Shrek: Je la veux encore! (Let’s do that again!)
Donkey: All right, nobody move! I’ve got a dragon here and I’m not afraid to use it!!
Donkey: And in the morning… I’M making WAFFLES!
Donkey: Do you wanna hold her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Please her?
Shrek: Yes!
Donkey: Then you…GOT TO GOT TO TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS!
DONKEY: i can’t feel my Toes! (looks Down) I don’t have any toes! I need a hug!
DONKEY: Oh, it is lovely! Just beautiful! You know you are quite a decorator. It’s amazing what you’ve done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.
DONKEY: Ohhhhh! You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion-boy. You’re afraid of your own feelings!
Donkey: on the road again..i can’t wait to get on the road again.
Shrek: what did i say about singing?
Donkey: well can i whisle?
Shrek: no!
Donkey: well can i humm?
Shrek: Alright..
Donkey: hmmm hmmm hmmmm hmmmm hmmm..
Donkey: Shrek, I’m lookin’ down!
Donkey: You are mean to me. You insult me. You treat me like nothing. Now its MY turn to talk!
Donkey: You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a person and you say, ‘hey, lets get some parfait’ and they say, ‘hell no, I dont like no parfait’? Parfaits are delicious!
Donkey:can i stay with you
Shrek:what
Donkey:can i stay with you please
Shrek:of course
Donkey:really
Shrek:no
Donkey:please i don’t want to go back out there you don’t no what it’s like to be considered,well mabye you do you’ve got to let me stay please
Shrek:ok ok but for 1 night only
Donkey:all right man this is going to be fun we can stay up late swapping manily stories and in the morning i’m making waffles
Donkey:You wanna hold her?Shrek:Yes.Donkey:You wanna please her.Shrek:Yes.Donkey:Then you gotta-gotta a little tenderness!The chick love that romantic crap.
Donkey?… 2 things, ok?__ *SHUT*__*UP*!!
Donkey~ Can I stay with you?
Shrek~ Oh sure
Donkey~ Really?
Shrek~ NO
Easy with the yankin’!
EAT ME!!!!
Eww, Shrek, did you do that?
Donkey, if that was me, you would be DEAD.
Excuse me that was unwanted physical contact
Farquad: What is it? Oh, it’s hideous!
Shrek: Well, that;s not very nice. It’s just a donkey.
Fiona: You didn’t SLAY the dragon?!?
Shrek: It’s on my to-do list, come on.
Fiona:where are you going?
shrek:well i have to save my ass
Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
Gingerbread Man: Do you know the Muffin Man?
Farquad: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread Man: The Muffin Man!
Gingerbread Man:Alright!Do you know..The Muffin Man?
Farquad:The Muffin Man.
Gingerbread Man:The Muffin Man
Farquad:Yes I know the Muffin Man who lives on drewy lane.
Gingerbread Man:Well,she’s married to him.
Farquad:THE MUFFINMAN?!?!
Gingerbread Man:THE MUFFIN MAN!
Gingerbread: Do you know the muffin man?
King: The muffin man?
Gingerbread: They MUFFIN MAN!
King: Why yes I know the muffin man!, who lives on Drewey Lane?
Gingerbread: Well, He’s Married to the muffin man!
King: The Muffin Man?
Gingerbread: THE MUFFIN MAN!
Gingerbreadman: Do you know the muffin man? King: The muffin man? GBM: the muffin man. King: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who…who lives on Drury Lane? GBM: yes well, she’s married to the muffin man. King: The muffin man? GBM: THE MUFFIN MAN! King: she’s married to the muffin man …. Guard: Sir, we’ve found it!King: Well, what are you waiting for? Bring it in! ::…:: King: Mirror mirror, on the wall…. GBM: DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING! ::guard tosses into trashcan:: king: evening. Is this not the fairest kingdom of them all? mirror: Well, technically, you’re not a king. King: um, ::signals to guard, who then punches in a hand mirror:: Mirror:: Well, that is to say, not a king YET. But you CAN become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
gingerbred man: god bless us, every one!
Go into the woods and get me a blue flower with red thorns
He hoofed and he poofed and he signed an eviction notice.
He Huffed And He Puffed And He Signed An Eviction Notice!
he huffed and he puffed and he signed the eviction notice
He huffed and he puffed and he… signed an affiction notice…
He huffed and he puffed…and he signed our eviction notice.
He huffed und he puffed und he…signed an eviction notice.
Hey! That’s my princess, get your own!
Hey, I’m no one’s messenger boy, alright? I’m a delivery boy1
Hoe Shrek did you do that?!
humming-(Donkey) alight ur headed the right way for a smack bottom
I am a donkey on the edge!!!
I can talk, I love to talk, I’m the talkinest damn thing you ever saw
I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talkin’est damn thing you ever saw.
I can talk. I love to talk. I’m the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
I can’t feel my toes AHHH I DON’T HAVE ANY TOES!!!!
I can’t feel my toes! I ain’t got toes! I think I need a hug…
I can’t feel my toes! I don’t have any toes!! I think I need a hug.
I can’t feel my toes, i don’t have any toes! i think i need a hug
I can’t feel my toes. I don’t have any toes! I need a hug
I cant feel my toes!! I dont have any toes!!!! i think i need a hug!
I farted
I get half the swamp because I helped save the prinsess to ya know
I guess I am just a stupid ugly ogre.
I have a dragon here and I’m not afraid to use it!
I have to save my ass.
I know you must hear this all the time from your food but you much bleach or something!
I like that bolder that is a nice bolder.
I like that boulder! That is a nice boulder!
I like that boulder, that is a nice boulder
I like that boulder, that’s a nice boulder.
I like that boulder. That’s a nice boulder.
I like that boulder….that is a NICE boulder
I like that boulder.That is a NICE boulder
I mean, I do like the outdoors. I’m a donkey. I was born outside.
I mean, of course your a girl, your just reekin’ of feminine beauty!
I need to find somewhere to camp NOW!!!!
I was hoping this would be a happy ending!
I’ll find those stairs. I’ll whip they butt too. They won’t know which way they goin
I’m a believer.
I’m a donkey on the edge!
I’m a donkey on the edge!!!
I’m a real boy!!
I’m all alone there’s no one here beside me
my problems have all gone there’s no one to deride me
But ya got ta have friends
I’m all alone, nobody here beside me…
I’m all alone, there’s no one there beside me…. my troubles have all gone, there no to deride me!…..But you gotta have friends! Stop singing!!!!!!
I’m making waffles
I’m the stair MASTER! I master the stairs!
I, I have helmet hair!
If you see a long tunnel…stay AWAY from the light
In the morning, i’m makin’ waffles!
Indeed..knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion!! Have at him!!!
It is one of those onions things, ISN’T IT? NO, it is one of those drop it and leave it alone things.
It is you I have loved.
Ive got a dragon here, and I’m not afraid to use it
just kiss her dead frozen lips to find out what a live wire she is. c’mon! lets hear it for snow…white!
Knight to Old Woman: Hors de ma vue, emmenez-la. (Take her away.
Lets see…. blue flower, red thorns; blue flower, red thorns; blue flower, red thorns…. oh man, this would be so much easier (to find)if I wasn’t colour blind!
like that’s ever going to happen.
Little donkey! look at me!! what am I??
Uh…really tall?
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Look at that boulder, thats a nice boulder.
Lord Farquaad sent us. Hew huffed and he puffed and then he……signed an eviction notice.
MACHINE: Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules, let us lay them down. Don’t make waves, stay in line, and we’ll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off on the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your – face. Duloc is – Duloc is – Duloc is a perfect place!
Man, you almost burned the hair outta my nose. Just like the time (MUMBLES) and then I ate some rotten berries, I had some strong gases eking outta my butt that day!
maybe its a perk
mouse 1:IS THAT U GORDO??
Gordo:HOW DID U KNOW?!?
no donkey
No more flying for you!
No, no no! Dead broad OFF the table!
No, not my gumdrop buttons!
No, not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
No,not my gumdrop buttons
Nobody likes to kiss ass.
Nobody move! I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m a donkey on edge!
Not my buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Not my buttons, Not my gumdrop buttons!
Not my gumdrop buttons!!
Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!
Not the buttons!!! Not my gumdrop buttons!!
Not the buttons…not the gumdrop buttons!
Not the gumdrop buttons!
Now ogres, they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. They’ll shave your liver, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it’s quite good on toast.
Ogres are NOT like cakes!!
Oh C’mon shrek, you gotta let me stay here! You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak!!! Well maybe… ya do, but that’s why we gotta stick together!!!!
Oh man, I can’t feel my toes!!… I DON’T HAVE ANY TOES!!!… I think I need a hug
OH MY GOD! You ate the princess!
Oh no! Dead broad off the table!
Oh really, You and what army?
Oh yeah?!? You and what Army???
Oh, come on now. No one likes a kiss-ass!
Oh, for the love of Pete!
Oh, man I’m gonna need some serious therapy after this! Look, look at my eye twitchin’!
Oh, no,no,no! Dead broad off the table!
Oh, what large teeth you have! I mean, you probably hear this all the time from your food, but that is one dazzling smile! And do I detect a hint of minty freshness? You’re a-you’re a girl dragon. I mean, of course you’re a girl dragon! I mean, you’re just reeking of feminine beauty!
ohhhh, that was scary, and if that didn’t do the trick your breath sure would cause your breath stinks!
Ok I’m sorry but Shrek is one of my favorite movies, and when I see a bunch of quotes that are wrong, it is really irritating! Make sure you have the quote right before you post it!
Old Lady: Well I’ve got a talking donkey.
Knight: Right……well thats good for 10 shillings, if you can prove it.
Old Lady: Oh well go a head little fella.
Donkey: (silence)
Knight: Well????
Old Lady: Oh huh. ahh…He’s Just a little nervous, he’s really quite the chatter box. Talk you bone headed donkey.
Knight: Thats it I’ve heard enough, Guards.
Old Lady: No No he talks, he does… (pretending to make donkey speak) I can talk, I love to talk…I am the talkinest damm thing you ever saw.
Knight: Get her outta my sight.
Old Lady: No no i swear
Donkey: AHHHH….Hey I can Fly.
Little Boy, Three little Pigs: He can fly.
Knight: He can talk.
Donkey: Ahh, Thats right Fool… Now I’ a flying talking donkey, you might have seem a house fly, maybe even a superfly, But i bet you have never seen a Donkeyfly….Heha…..ahh ohh
Old woman to knight (French): Je mene un ane qui parle.
(I’ve got a talking donkey)
Knight: Ma foi, ca vaut dix shillings si tu prouves qu’il parle.
(My My, it’ll be worth ten shillings if you can prove it)
silence… Knight: Eh bien? (Well?) Woman: Il est peut-etre un peu
nerveux…d’habitude c’est une vrai pipelette…vas-tu parler, tete
de mule! (He’s just a little nervous, he’s usually quite a chatterbox…talk, you stupid donkey!)
Donkey gets hit on the head with fairy dust… J’ai des ailes!(I can fly!) Boy: Il a des ailes! (He can fly!) Knight: Il a une langue! (He can talk). Saississez-le! (Seize him!)
On the road again sing it with me shrek i can’t wait to get on the road again
what did i say about singing
well can i whistle
no
well can i hum
alright then
(donkey starts huming)
On the road again, I can’t wait to get on the road again. No Singing! Can I hum it? Fine!
On the road again.
Ooh, did you do that? Man you gotta warn somebody when you hust crack one off. My mouth was open and everything.
Ooh,this is gonna be so much fun!We can stay up late,swappin manly stories,and in the mornin,I’m makin waffles.
Parfait must be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.
parfait, everybody loves parfait!
Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet!
Parfe has got to be the best thing in the whole damn world
pick number three my lord!!!
please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…FACE!
Please….Keep off the grass, shine your shoes, wash your…..face!
Prince to Cookie: Je ne suis pas un monstre, tu l’es! Toi et ces
autres raclures qui empoisonnent mon monde parfait.
(I’m not a monster, you are! You and these other fairy tale creatures that are ruining my perfect world)
Princess and ugly does not go together
Really, really!
Really, really.
Red flower blue thorns …red flower blue thorns….You know this would be a whole lot easier if I weren’t colour blind .
Run Run Run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, I’M THE GINGER BREAD MAN!!
run run run as fast as you can, you can’t catch me, i’m the ginger bread man!!!!!
She’s just as nasty as you are
She’s just as nasty as you are!
She’s just as nasty as you!
Shrek to Donkey, French version: Ou est tout le monde? Il y a pas un rat! (Where is everybody, there’s not a soul around!)
shrek)ogres are like onions
donkey)why cause they stink?
shrek)yes thats Nooo! Ogres are like onions because they have layers.
donkey)why onions? Onions are so nasty. What about pate everybody likes pate?
shrek)forget it
Shrek, did you crack one? man, you could’ve warned somebody. i had my mouth and everything.
SHREK: For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.
DONKEY: Example?
SHREK: Example? Okay. Uh… ogres are like onions.
DONKEY: They stink?
SHREK: Yes. No!
DONKEY: Oh, they make you cry?
SHREK: No!
DONKEY: Oh, you leave them out in the sun, they get all brown and start sprouting little white hairs.
SHREK: No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
DONKEY: Oh… you both have layers… You know, not everybody like onions. Cakes! Everybody likes cakes. Cakes have layers.
SHREK: I don’t care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes… You dunce, irritating, miniature beast of burden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye bye. See ya later…
Shrek:ogres are like onions.Donkey:What,they stink?Shrek:No.Donkey:Oh the make ya cry.Shrek:Yes,I mean no!Donkey:Oh when you leave ’em out in the sun too long they turn brown and sprout little white hands.
Singing Wooden Puppets:Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules. Let us lay them down. Don’t make waves. Stay in line. And we’ll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off of the grass. Shine your shoes. Wipe your….. face. Duloc is… Duloc is… Duloc is a perfect place! Donkey: Wow….. Let’s do that again! Shrek: No! No! No,no,no,no,no…. No.
Singing: I like big butts and i cannot lie you other brothas can’t deny when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and that round thing in your face you get FEELINGS
Smiling on the outside doesn’t always say your happy. it’s the size of your heart that’s filled with love that really says something
So young, so angry, damn that rap music!
Some of you may die but it’s a price I’m willing to pay.
Some of you may die, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
some of you may die. But it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
Some of you may lose you lives but it is a chance I am willing to take ~Lord Farquade
Sure it’s big enough but look at the location!
Sure it’s big enough, but look at ta location!!!
Sure it’s big enough, but look at the location.
Sure it’s big enough. But look at the location!
Sure, it’s big enough but look at the location.
Take it easy with the yankin’!
Thank you! Thank you very much! I’m here till Thursday! Try the veal!
Thank you, thank you very much. We’re here ’till Thursday. Try the veal.
Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here ’til Thursday!
That is a nice bolder, I like that bolder.
That sure is a nice bolder.
that was for getting rid of donkey
That will do donkey…that will do.
That’ll do Donkey . That’ll do
That’s right fool now i’m a flying talking Donkey
That’s right fool! Now I’m a flying talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly! But I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly! Ha ha!
That’s right fool! Now I’m a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly… but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly!
That’s right fools, You mighta seen a house fly, maybe even a superfly, but i bet you aint never seen a donkey fly!
Thats right fool, now I’m a flyin’ talkin’ donkey, you might have seen a house fly, or even a super fly, but I bet you’ve never seen a donkey fly!
The chair, give him the chair!
The Gingerbread Man: No! Not the buttons! Not my gum drop buttons
The greatest fairy tale never told.
There’s an arrow in your butt!!!
There, THERE’S AN ARROW IN YOUR BUTT!!!!
…oh would ya look at that…
theres no such thing as a perfect
They was trippin’ over themselves like babes in the woods!
Thick curly locks! Smooth hands! Tite buttix!
this is the part where you run away.
Trust me, Donkey, if it was me, you’d be dead
Two words for you donkey, ok…SHUT UP
Wait Shrek u wanna do this right. what r u talking about. theres a line a line you gotta wait for the priest says speak know or forever hold your peace thats when u march in there and say I OBJECT. OH I dont have time for this. U love this woman right.yes. U wanna hold her. YES. Please her. YES. Then ya GOTTA GOTTA TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
The Chicks love that romantic crap.
We can stay up all night swappin manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
We can stay up all night, swap some manly stories, and in the morning… I’m makin’ waffles!
We can stay up late swapping manly stories and in the morning Im making waffles..
We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the moring, I’m making waffles!
We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
We can stay upp all night, swappin’ manly stories, and in the mornin’, I’m makin’ waffles!
We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories and in the morning, I’m making waffles!
Welcome to DuLac such a perfect town,
Here we have some rules let us lay them down,
Don’t make way stay in line,
And we’ll get along fine,
DuLac is a perfect place,
Please keep off of the grass,
Shine your shoes wipe your (zip) face,
Dulac is, Dulac is, Dulac is the perfect place.
Wow…. let’s do that again.
No no no nooo….
Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town. Here we have some rules, let us lay them down. Don’t make waves, stay in line. And we’ll get along fine. Duloc is a perfect place. Please keep off of the grass. Shine your shoes, wipe your…face! Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is a perfect place!
Welcome to DuLuc such a perfect town here we have some rules let us lay them down. Don’t make waves, stay in line and we’ll get along fine DuLuc is a perfect place! Please stay off of the grass, shine your shoes wipe your…FACE! DuLuc is a perfect place!
well i have got to save my ass!
Well, gosh..No one invited us!
Well, I have to save my ass!
Well, you’re a GIRL dragon, well, of course you’re a gurl dragon!!
What are you all doing in my swamp?
What else did she say about me?
What! Are you doing! In my swamp!
what’s the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets??
What, Shrek’s hurt?! Oh no, Shrek’s gonna die! Keep you legs elevated, turn your head and cough!!
And if you see a dark tunnel, stay away from the light!!!
When an ogre by the bush grabs a lady by the tush that’s bad that’s bad that really really bad
where do i begin! first some old man tried to sell me for some magic beans, i aint never got over that then he sold me to some old guy who had a party and had everyone try to pin the tail on me then they all got drunk started beating me with a stick screaming pinata pinata what is a pinata anyway?
Where do I sleep?
Who wants to have sex with me
Why don’t you try the ‘measuring’ when we get there!!! Ha ha!
wooooow! let’s do that again!
Wow! That was really scary-and if dont mind me sayin if that dosnt work then your breathe will certainly get the job done u definatly need some tictacs or something cuz ur breathe STINKS! Man you almost burned the hair out of my nose-just like the time (hmmmmwhhhawhmmm)and then i ate some rotten berries-man i had some strong gases eeking out of my butt that day!
Wow, let’s do that again!
Wow, Let’s do that again!!
Wow. Only a true friend would be so cruelly honest.
WOW. ONLY A TRUE FRIEND WOULD BE THAT TRUELY HONEST
Yea like thats ever going to happen what a load of…
You a mean green fightin’ machine! Together we’ll scare the spit outta anybody that crosses us!
You and what army?
You and what army?!?!
You are just reeking of feminine beauty….what’s the matter with you?You got something in yor eye?
You belong to me.
You cut me deep shrek, you cut me reeeeeal deep.
You definitely need some tic tacs or somethin, because your breath STINKS!!!
You didn’t slay the dragon?
It’s on my to do list.
You didn’t sley the Dragon? It’s on my to-do list.
You don’t know what it’s like to be considered a freak. Well, maybe you do. But that’s why we gotta stick together!
You dunce irritating miniature piece of verdon
You haven’t slayed the dragon??????!!!!!!
It’s on my to do list!!!!
you hear that she called me a steed, i’m a steed
you know what else everybody like? parfaits. parfaits are delicious. you never go up to somebody and say hey you wanna go get some parfait, they ain’t gonna say hell no i don’t like no parfait.
you know what else everybory like? parfes. parfes are delicious. you never go up to someone and say hey you wanna go get some parfe? ain’t nobody gonna say hell no i don’t like no parfe.
You know what everybody likes? Parfaits.
you know, you should sweep me off my feet, out yonder window and down a rope on to your valiant steed.
You may have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen, a donkey fly
You might have seen a housefly,maby even a superfly, but i bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly!
You never hear someone say, ‘Hey, you want some parfait?’ ‘Hell no, I don’t want no parfait!’
you pathetic minature beast of burden….
You wanna hold her?…Yeah!…Squeeze her?…Yeah!…Please her?…Yeah! Then you gotta gotta try a little tenderness!
You’re about right for a smack bottom
You’re goin’ the right way for a smacked bottom!
You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom
You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.
You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings!
You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.
You’re so wrapped up in your layers, omion boy
You’re so wrapped up in your layers, onion boy
Your only ugly for tonight… Shrek he’s ugly 24-7
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Shrek’: Quotes from the movie ‘Shrek’
Where do I begin?! First some old man tried to sell me for some magic beans, I ain’t never got over that. Then he sold me to some old guy who had a party and had everyone try to pin the tail on me, then they all got drunk started beating me with a stick screaming pinata! pinata!