#1 Can I ask you a personal question?
#2 Yes, you are a total fag!
#1 What’s your first name?
#2 Long
#1 What’s your last name?
#2 Dong…
#1 What’s your middle name?
#2 Duck
#1-What’s your last name? #2-Dong #1-What’s your first name? #2-Long #1-What’s your middle name? #2-Duck.
#1; Dat you? 2: Yeah, that me.
(1)Geek, can I be honest with you?
(2)Not if you’re gonna insult me.
(1)He’s a senior and he’s taken..I mean REALLY taken
(2)I know he’s supposed to be my ideal..
(Clap, Clap) Dong…this is your grandfather speaking…
*Um.. did ah… did we-
*Yep. Pretty sure.
*Did I like it. Wait. What am I talking about of course I liked it. What I meant to say was did you?
*You know, for some strange reason I think I did.
*Who’d marry her?
*Mr. T
-Did she come with you?
-No, but if it’s okay with my dad,shes coming home with me.
-Hey, Dad- Jenny’s got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon!
-Where do you learn this stuff?
-School…
-Good, I’m gettin my money’s worth
-Quiche. How do you spell?
-You don’t spell it son! You eat it!
…I’ve got Caroline upstairs, I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted.
1) do you know samantha baker? 2) sophomore right? 1) Yeah would you ever think about going
out w/ her? 2) depends on how much you paid me.
1) I love visiting with Grandma, and Grandpa, and pushin lawn-a-mowing machine so grandpa’s hiheena don’t get disturbed. 2) Hernia!
1) Tell me the story about why you’re sad. 2) Do you think I’m sad? What makes you think that? 1) Your eyes told me.
1) Yes, and pushing lawnmowing machine so Grandpa’s heyna, don’t get disturbed.
2) Hernia!
1)..I know honey, we’re all upset that Jenny’s marrying a bo-hunk. (person #2 looks at person #1 in annoyance and leans back against the couch). 2)I ment Jake. 1) Jake? I thought she said his name was Rudy?
1)An extra terestrial? 2)Better 1)Female extra terestrial? 2)Better 1)Better than a female extra terestrial? woah 3)How do you tell if it’s female? 1)She has three breasts.
1)Don’t be a smartass!! 2) OK….I’ll be a dumbass!
1)Geek, can I be honest with you? 2)Not if you’re gonna insult me. 1)Okay…………… 2)Shoot. 1)Get the hell outa here! 2)Nice, nice manners, babe.
1)Hello? 2)Eat me. [Hangs up phone.] 3)What did he want? 4)Sex…
1)jake, this is a rolls royce 2) so? 3) so? the tires alone cost five grand. do you have five grand? i don’t have five grand! 4) just don’t hit anything 5) aaaaaaahhhhhhhh don’t hit anything.
1)Knock knock. 2)Who’s there? 1)Who. 2)Who Who? 1)Helen, we got an owl out here in the hall!
1)She got her period, should make for an interesting honeymoon. 2)Where are you learning this stuff? 1)School. 2)Good. Gettin’ my money’s worth.
1)shes not ugly. 2) theres nothin there. its not ugly. its just……void.1)i have independent study with her. i catch her looking at me a lot 2)……maybe shes retarted.
1)What do you think of her? 2)I don’t.
1)Where are we?
2)I’ll tell you where we are, if you tell me who you are?
3)I’m Farmer Ted.
1)where the hell am i?
2)i’ll tell you where you are if u tell me who you are.
1)i’m farmer ted.
2)you in the parking lot acroos the street from my church.
1)you own a church!!!
1-I mean you could come back next fall and be a completely normal person. 2-Yeah? 1-Yeah.
1-I’ve never been so happy in my whole life 2-Maniac 1-Now I have a place to put my hand
1-So, What’s your name? 2-Dong. 1-What’s your first name? 2-Long.
1-What’s your middle name? 2-Duck.
1-So, What’s your name? 2-Dong. 1-What’s your first name? 2-Long.
1-What’s your middle name? 3-Duck.
1. But i’m a dork. 2. You are NOT a dork. 1. Mike thinks i’m a dork. 2. Mike IS a dork.
1. Can I ask you a question? 2. Yes, you’re a total fag. 3. That wasn’t the question.
1. I don’t do that! 2. Yes, you do. 1. I know..
1. What the hell are you bitching about? I gotta sleep under a chinaman named after a duck’s dork. 2. Where am I sleeping? 1. Sofa city, sweetheart.
1. You know Samantha Baker? 2. Sophomore, right? 1. Yeah. What do you think of her?
2. I don’t. 1. Would you ever go out with her? 1. Depends on how much you paid me.
1.) Bite me 2.) what did they want? 3.) SEX!
1.how would we know the difference between a male extra terestrial from a female extra terestrial? 2. easy, the female would have 4 tits.
1.Is Samantha home? 2.She go get married. 1.Married? 2.Married.
-Very nice! We’re here 5 minutes and – Im at a loss.
-Real, smooth, Cliff.
>That’s me. >>Who are you? >I’m him. >>Oh.
A) (Name), where is my car? B) Lake. Big lake!
A) Food fit neatly into round pie. B) It’s called a quiche. A) How you spell? C) You don’t spell it son, you eat it.
A) I bet boys chase you ’round plenty. B) No one’s caught me yet.
A) I help Grandpa push lawn mowing machine so he don’t hurt his hyena. B) HERR-NIA!
A) Just as long as this one knows, now that he’s getting married, he’s out of the girl-of-the-month club. B) What?…I can look, I just can’t touch.
All you need to make a great birthday is a pink car and a great guy.Black.A black guy?!?! No a black car, a pink guy.
Automobile?
Black
A black guy?
No a black corvette…a pink guy.
Bryce: Oh shit, Ted, that’s my mom. I gotta get home.
Geek: Change your frequency, okay, don’t be such a wimp.
Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?
Cliff:Oh yeah? I bet you a dozen floppy disks you don’t get tit. Geek: You got a bet scumbag, get it all.
Dad, I didn’t hit her. I would like to very much, and I probably will
later, but give me a break- I wouldn’t do it when you’re right down the
hall
damn mom I got my head gear on
Do you have to go to a reception now?
Yes.
Can I call you?
No.
I can’t call you?
No. I mean I’m not going to the reception.
do you know what that could do to a guy like me
Dong has only been in our country a short time Fred, I think we could all help him to Assimilate.
Dong, Grandpa is talking to you
Dong… Dong…. Grandpa is talking to you!
dong: (screams)you beat up my face !
jake: you grabbed my nuts!
dong: i though you were my new style american girlfriend.
Donger needs food (as he falls out of tree in front yard)
Donger’s been here for a few hours and he’s got somebody, I’ve lived here my whole life and I’m like a disease.
Easy for you to say, you don’t have to sleep under a guy named after a duck’s dork!
Everything’s getting shittier. My family forgetting my birthday just makes it more vivid.
Farmer Ted- Can you answer me one question?
Samantha- Yes, you’re a total fag
Farmer Ted- Heh that’s not the question.
Farmer Ted: A: Don’t hit me. Secondly: What kind of proof do you want?
FATHER: Jenny,Mike,Sarah,Sam, Come on,everybody up. We’ve got relatives invading this afternoon. SON: I think I’ve got a fever. DAUGHTER: You don’t have a fever. SON: Shut your face! DAUGHTER: Make me! Dad, Mike hit me!!!!
Fred, look! She’s gotten her boobies! Oh, and they’re so perky!!!
Fred, she’s gotten her boobies.
Oh, let me get my magnifying glass.
Fred, she’s gotten her boobies.
Fresh breath has always been a priority in my life
Fresh breath is a priority in my life.
Games, Jake, silly tortuous games.
GIRLS UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Guess those guys who thought we had to get married feel pretty stupid
right about now, eh, padre?
Ha, Ha, Ha, he’s three sheets to the wind!
He’s as drunk as a skunk!!
Happy birthday Samantha.
Have you ever touched it….i think so
He was wearing red pants, an argyle sweater…. no, he’s not retarded!
He’s drunk as a skunk!
He’s three sheets to the wind.
Heeeyyyyy!!!!! Come on in and a Pardee hardee…duude person!
Helen we’ve got an owl out here in the hall……stop it Fred you’ll
make her tinkle
Hell, he’s three sheets to the wind
Hey Birth Defect!
Hey Howard, there’s your Chinaman.
HEYYYYYYYY!!!!! Come on in and party hearty!!!!!!!! *hic* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
HHHEEEEEEYYYYY!!!! Come on in and party hearty dude person! *hic* Heee heee haa haa!!!
His name is Long Duck Dong.
How you spell quiche? Well you don’t spell it son, you eat it!
Hunny, we’ve got an owl out here in the hall
I CAN’T BELEIVE I GAVE MY PANTIES TO A GEEK
I can’t beleive this! Donger is here for 5 hours and has someone. I’ve lived here all my life and i’m like a disease!
I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek!
I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.
I can’t believe I just gave my panties to the Geek!
I can’t believe my grandmother actually felt me up.
I can’t believe my grandmother felt me up!
I can’t believe my grandmother felt me up.
i can’t believe my own grandmother felt me up
I can’t believe they fucking forgot my birthday
I can’t believe this! They fucking forgot my birthday!
I don’t want him to know I eat.
I have a dance to go to at school. It’s a very important dance. Uh, we’re being graded on it…for gym.
I hope whoever got the note didn’t know I wrote it. I’d shit twice and die.
I hope whoever got the note doesn’t know it’s me who wrote it. I’d shit twice and die.
I know. It just hurts.
That’s why they call them crushes.
If they were easy,
they’d call ’em something else.
I LOATHE the bus
I loathe the bus. There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.
I lothe the bus.
I love a chicks who wear hats its so vouge!!
I mean, I’ve had men who’ve loved me before. But not for six months in a row.
I meant that it was okay that you did it once, not that you could do it again!!
I never been so appy in my whole life!
I really love Rudy. He is totally enamored of me. I mean, I’ve had other men love me before, but not for six months in a row.
i think i have a fever. you don’t have a fever! dad, mike hit me!
I think the power of the carrot is definately overrated.
I wanna do it on a cloud with out getting pregnant…or herpes
I want a serious girlfriend. SomebodyI can love, who’s gunna love me back. Is that psycho?
I want something more. I want someone to love who’ll love me back. Is that psycho?
I’d shit twice and die!
I’d shit twice and die.
i’d shit twice then die!
I’m a boy, you’re a girl, is there anything wrong with me trying to put together some sort of a relationship?
I’m just not a stud.
I’m kinda like the king of dipshits.
I’m not really a farmer. I’m a freshman.
I’m totally serious asswipe!
I’ve lived in this town my whole life and i’m like the plague. ‘s been here one day and he has someone.
I’ve never bagged a babe.
If my parents forgot my birthday I’d shit twice and die
It’s a very important dance, um, we’re being graded on it.
It’s gonna be a piece of cake, Bren!
It’s not you own a church? It’s you go to church?
its extremely embarassing, What’s embarassing sitting in the dark telling your dad about your love life.
its small.. its brown.. it has my initials on it…
Jaaaaaaake!!!
Jake Ryan! Jake’s my man!
Jake)She come here with you. Geek) No, but if its ok with my dad shes going home with me.
Jake, you never called us back.
–Guys, I told you not to call me on this line!
Jake we’re dying! C’mon just tell us what happened.
— You want to know what happened? BUY THE BOOK!
Jak!-(click, Jake hangs up)
Jake: Its kinda cool the way shes always lookin at me… Friend: Maybe shes retarded.
Jake: Open up! Dong: No, No you beat up my face! Jake: You grabbed my balls. Dong: Oh, that you? Jake: Yeah, that me
Jake: She looked at me like I was a leper.
jake: you better not be dickin me, itd be a real bummer to try and get together with this girl and find out she really thinks i’m a slime
Ted: jake, would i dick you? lemme put it to you this way….what happens to me if i dick you?
Jake: I’d kick your ass
jakey, have you stopped loving me??? LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!
jenny, mike, sara, sam!! come on everybody up!
Just trying to get a little water
lake, big lake….
Lake,Big Lake
Let’s just call the whole thing off, I don’t know if I can handle that kind of rejection
Life is not whatnot, and it’s none of your business
Looks like rain, better put the top up!
Make a wish Sam.
It already came true.
my brother paid a dollar to see your underwear
nanananananana YOU SA ITS UR BIRTHDAY… nanananananana ITS MY BIRTHDAY 2!
Nice manners babe!!
No he’s not retarted!
No more yankie my wankie – the Donger need food!
No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food!
No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.
No more yanking my wankie. The donger need sleep!
no more yanky my wanky the donger need food
No more yanky my wanky, the Donger needs food
No more yanky my wanky- the Donger need food!
No more yanky my wanky. The donger needs food!
Now I have somewhere to put my hand
Now we’re both on the pill
Now we’re both on the pill!
Now we’re both on the pill. hahaha…
You gave me a birth control pill. Do you have any idea what that’ll do to a guy my age?!
I know exactly what it will do to a girl my age. It makes it okay to be really, super careless.
oh sexy giiiiirrrrrlllfriend!!!!!!
Oh sexy GIRL–Friend!!!!
Oh sexy girlfriend!!
oh, fred look honey she’s gotten her boobies…wait! let me go get my magnifying glass!
Oh, I need a drink.
OK Jake What happens if I dick you I’ll kick YOUR ass !
P1: I’ve got one for you. Knock knock.
P2: Who’s there.
P1: Who
P2: Who who.
P1: Helen, we’ve got an owl out here in the hall!
P1: What are you complaining about, I have to sleep under a duck’s dork.
P2: Then where am I sleeping?
P1: Sofa city, sweetheart.
P1: Yeah, she at a church. She gettin married.
P2: Married?
P1: Yeah. To oily American beau hunk.
Question: Have you ever touched it?
Person writing: Almost
Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It’s bad for your cmplexion!
Relax, would you? We have fifty dollars and a pair of girls underpants. We’re safe as kittens.
Samantha: Thanks for getting my undies back.
Jake: Thanks for coming over.
Samantha: Thanks for coming to get me.
Jake: Happy Birthday Samantha, make a wish.
Samantha: It already came true.
Score. A direct hit.
Score…a direct hit.
she thinks your the cats meow!
she thinks your the cats meow.
She’s got her boobies.Look how big they are.
She’s got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon, eh?
She’s got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon eh?
She’s got her period. Should be an interesting honeymoon, eh?
She’s only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts!
She’s totally serious, asswipe
so do you wanna make out
Sofa city, sweetheart.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself – it’s bad for your complexion!!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it’s bad for you’re complexion
TED: You wanna know one of my secrets. SAM: Don’t gross me out.
Thanks for loaning me the donger
That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call them something else.
The Donger’s here for 5 hours and he has someone. I live here my whole life and I’m like a disease.
They wouldn’t have called it a crush if it was supposed to feel good
They’re grandparents, they live for that shit!
This is the happiest day of my whole life.
Uh-huh.. nnnnnYA!
Uhhh…No yanky my wanky! The Donger need food!
Unbelievable! You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you!
Unbelieveable… you MAKE someone a bridesmaid and they SHIT all over you…
Underpants,……Girl’s underpants
Very clever dinner fit nicely in round pie
Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
Waaa- Laaaa…… Breakfast is ready (as grandma holds a cigarette in one hand with the ash 3/4 in length!)
Was’ happenin’, hotstuff?
We’re all upset Jenny’s marrying a bohunk.
well…hes wearing tan trousers, red shoes and a red argile sweater…….no hes not retarted!
Whas hoppenin’ howtstuff?
What are the hell are you shittin’ about? I’m the one who has to sleep under a guy named after a ducks dong.
What are you bitching about? I gotta sleep under a Chinaman named after a duck’s dork.
What the hell are you bitching about, I have to sleep under a china man named after a ducks dork!
What the hell are you bitching about? I’ve got to sleep under some chinaman named after a duck’s dork!
What the hell you bitchin’ about?? I have to sleep under a chinamen named after a duck’s dork!!
what’s happening hot stuff?
When it happens to you- it’ll be for forever.
Where the hell am I? I’ll tell you where you are if you tell me who you are. I’m Farmer Ted. You’re in the parking lot across the street from my church. You own a church?
Who’s he? -Carolyn
Thats me. -Jake
Who are you?-Carolyn
I’m him. -Jake
Oh, okay. -Carolyn
Who’s he? That’s me. Who are you? I’m him
Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself, its bad for your complexion!
Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It’s bad for your complexion!
Would you take those RIDICULOUS things off?!
Wow, do I feel funky.
yah well.. You better burn the shirts when he leaves
Yeah but I’m sort of like their leader, ya know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits…
yeah, well she’s only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts!
Yes 3 big ones and they lust wimp blood. So quit bugging me, or I’ll sic then all overyour weenie ass.
You don’t spell it son, you eat it.
You don’t spell it, son. You EAT it!
You don’t spell it, you eat it (quiche)
You know black and white would just capture the moment so nicely.
You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile.
Go to hell.
VERY hostile!
You know, Ive never been out with a boy before.
Oh, me neither.
You make someone a bridesmaid and they shit all over you!
You make someone a bridesmaid, and they shit all over you.
You need four inches of bod and a great birthday.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Sixteen Candles’: Quotes from the movie ‘Sixteen Candles’