#1 Have you gone completely insane? What are you trying to do? #2 What do you mean what am I trying to do? #1 Lydia, I’m on the pissing phone to Helen
#1-Do you want my opinion?
#2-Will I like it?
#1-Of course not, it’ll be based in reality.
#1: Cheer up, love. You know what the Monty Python boys say.
#2: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
(laughing)…Gerry, you’re a moral-free zone!
…i was getting a bit choked up with all the testosterone flying about the place, best i get out before i start growing a penis.
1) Are you okay? 2) I’m just going quietly mad. 1) Oh, good then.
1) Hey, gorgeous, what are you doing after 7? Have mad cow burgers with me? 2) Well, let’s see, I get up at about 730 am and make sandwiches at a deli in the West End during the day before I get to work here at six o’clock until midnight. Then I go home, and if I still have enought energy after that, I give me boyfriend a blowjob. Would you like some mayonaise with that?
1) So, I, um… 2) So I kissed you. 1) Yeah, I spotted that.
1) sometimes we are just pumped into peoples lives, and those people need to be cheered up, and for some reason it turns out it’s our job. And your case is my job. But, I’ll be honest, the fact that I find you moderatly attractive only makes my job easier. But my intentions are completely honourable, I have no intention to overstep the marks… do you prefer diamants or saffires? … oops,no *smile* 2) Moderatly attractive? 1) a-ha, and you, you are listening. Well, loose the sad eyes, the droopy mouth, I could get you an upgrade… Now, having firmally established the groundrules, what are you doing two weeks from saturday? ….
1) You’ve no compassion. None! Why do I even bother confiding in you? 2) ‘Cause I’m your mate. I’m here to help you. *laughs* I’m here to help you.
1. what is he? 2. a wanker
1.) Do you love him? 2.) I could never love a Baywatch fan.
A: Do you love him? B: No, I could never love a Baywatch fan
always remember what the monty python boys say: no one expects a spanish inqusition
Besides, you can get MUCH better crack in town! *laughs*
Everyone is born knowing every single Beatles lyric. It’s ingested into the fetus along with all that amniotic stuff. Fact: they should be called ‘The Fetals.’
Everyone’s born knowing all the Beatles lyrics instinctively. It’s passed to the fetus subconsciously along with all the amniotic stuff. Infact, they should be called ‘the Featles’.
Everything happens for the best, you’ll never know if you don’t try.
Helen: Bollocks to him.
Annie: What?
Helen: Bollocks to him. Why hasn’t he called? ‘Hi Helen, I’m a twat, take me back, I love you’, all that shit why hasn’t he called? Bollocks. I’m over him.
Annie: Oh, you’re over him are you?
Helen: Yes I am.
Annie: No you’re not.
Helen: Yes I am! What do you mean I’m not? How do you know I’m not?
Annie: Well, you’ve been laying around here like a misery on a stick since you broke up a week ago…
Helen: Nine days.
Annie: Nine days ago, you’re still counting the time since you broke up in days and probably hours and minutes, but the biggest clue that you’re not over someone is if you’re still checking their horoscope in the paper to see if they’ll get wiped out in a freak Napalming incident. (takes the paper) What is he?
Helen: A wanker. Oh, sorry, Aries.
Annie: Hmmmm Well, just goes to show what I know. With mars in your ascendancy you’ll be wiped out in a freak Napalming incident and Helen says bollocks to you.
HELEN:For God’s sake,Gerry. I was asking a simple question! There’s no need to become Woody Allen!
I am a woman. We don’t always say what we want, but we do reserve the right to get pissed off when we don’t get it. That’s what makes us so fascinating, if not a little bit scary.
i blame British telecommunications,all this new technology, this number if you want to know who called, another one if you don’t want them to know you called, itemized bills, take away the first number you thought of, i mean they are singlehandedly condemning the average red blooded Englishman to a live of terminal monagamy, what are they after, the Nobel peace prize?
I got mugged and sacked, but not in that order.
i just asked you a simple question,no need to become woody allen
I must say, being friends with you certainly makes the wait for the next episode of ‘Seinfeld’ much easier to bear.
I’m a woman. We don’t say what we want but we do reserve the right to get pissed off when we don’t get it. That’s what makes us so fascinating, and not a little bit scary.
I’m not as drunk as thinkle peep I am.
I’m trying to be your girlfriend Jerry! I’m trying to win you back! It’s fairly simple! I’m standing on the platform at Limbo Central with my heart and soul packed in my suitcase, waiting for the Jerry-friggin-Express to roll in and tell me that my ticket is still valid, that I may reboard the train! Only the station announcer keeps coming on and telling me that my train has been delayed — because the driver has suffered a panic attack in Indecision City! We suggest you take the bus! That’s what I am trying to do, you cripple!
It’s Helen, actually. Remember me? I interupted you faking your orgasm, sorry I can’t be more specific.
its over…..again
lets just put that down to a lapse of concentration.
No, it’s your bit of stuff. Wednesday, Shag Day, remember?
Now that’s what I call a major lapse in concentration!
oh, c’mon, if you don’t drink any fatty drinks you’ll never achieve quality cellulite
oh, sh—I stubbed my toe on the side of the shagging tub
On my own.
Something’s happened to me since I met you that I wasn’t expecting… And I wasn’t… expecting– heh, repetition of ‘expecting’ I must buy a thesaurus– anyway…
There’s Helen in there…and she’s got blonde hair! There’s loads of them, having some kind of sponsored epileptic fit!
There’s loads of them!!!! Having some sort of…sponsored epileptic FIT!!
Turn back time.
useless, no good, shagging, horrible, despicable, lying, two-faced, pissing, shagging–you said shagging–wanker
Wait, your friend Anna thinks I’m cute? Your friend ANNA thinks I’m cute! Shit, I just blew… 2,85 — 2,85! — on the wrong girl. *smile*
We’re born knowing Beatles lyrics instinctively. They’re passed to the fetus subconsciously along with the amniotic stuff. In fact, they should be called the Featles.
Well, if it makes you feel any better… do you see that bloke over there? [Points to his friend at the end of the bar.] Not only does he own a personalized set of crocodile-skin luggage, but his favorite TV program is Baywatch. So you see there’s always someone sadder than you.
Women never ask for what they want, but we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don’t get it!
Women reserve the right to not say what they want and to be pissed off when they don’t get it. That’s what makes females so amazing and not just a little bit scary!!
Yes, tonight, tonight. The tonight that comes after today tonight.
You are your very own Morality-free zone.
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