1) Larry, really wanted to have sex last night, he even gave me the 30 second massage. 2)Oh you mean the I really care that you had a bad day back rub that stops JUST before you truly relax and then he quickly heads south towards the promise land. 2)Exactly
1) You were our Fred and Ethel Mertz. 2) That’s funny. We always thought that you were OUR Fred and Ethel Mertz.
1)But the crazy thing is that Theresa could f*ck her husband, but she couldn’t kiss him, I mean really kiss him. 2) It’s not so crazy. There have been times when I’m so angry with Stan that I could f*ck him but I don’t want that cow tongue anywhere near me. 3)A kiss could be so much more intimate than sex. 1) Yeah, why is that? 2) Because f*cking means yeah, yeah I love you, but I kiss means, I like you. 1) That’s so right, I haven’t made out, I mean really made out with Larry for years. 3)Doesn’t that make you sad? 1) No, not really. 3) Why? I don’t know. 2) It’s because it’s inevitable. It’s the wear and tear of the job. The diapers, the tantrums, the homework, the state capitals, the kingdom…….your mother, his mother, and suddenly all you are aware of is there are too many wet towels on the floor, he’s hogging the remote, and he’s scraching his back with a fork. And finally you come face to face with the imutable truth that it is virtuelly impossible to french kiss a person who takes the NEW roll of toilet paper and leaves it resting on top of the empty card board roll. God forbid he takes the two seconds to actually replace it. Does he not see it, Does he not see it!!!!! *calms down* I’m telling you that marriage is the Jack Kavorcian of romance.
1)I jerked off to your secretary last night, I hope you don’t mind. 2)Why should I mind. 1) I don’t know, I just wanted to make sure it was alright, so I could forge ahead with a clear concience. 2)Pound Away
1)Online sex is not cheating 2)How do you figure, 3 o’clock in the morning, your wife and kids are sleeping upstairs, and your downstairs in your den, f*cking some bimbo out in cyber space. 1)First of all, we’re not f*cking, we’re typing, and second of all, and this is my taking umbrige, Charline is not some bimbo. 3)You’re right, she’s probably a stock broker named Ralph pretending to be some bimbo named Charline. 1)Why would you piss on something so beautiful!? 3)What did I say?
A:I am thinking of 7 words what are they?
B:do i get a hint? a category?
A: NO
B: they can be any 7 words???
And they lived happliy everafter?
A:six words but very close
B: and they lived mostly happily everafter?
A:i hope so
B:i think so
A:u think so?
B:i do
A:i do… too
and believe me there is no greater feeling than being gotten
And if one person is always drawing the worldas they want it to be, i guess the other person has no choice but to draw it the way it is. I guess that’s why they never wrote a book about harold’s wife
Ben: i wasn’t cheating, katie: i walk in to your office and i hear you telling some woman, some sara intimate details about our relationship about our problems, Ben: i just needed somebody to talk to, Katie:about us, about our prblems Ben: i just needed somebody to talk to, katie: that’s not talking that’s a relationship, why dind’t you tell me about her if there’s nothing to hide, why didn’t you tell me about her? Ben: i just needed somebody to talk to, Katie: Bull Shit, why didn’t you talk to me? Ben: you wanna know why i don’t talk to you? b/c you treat my like i’m some big Fucking pain in the ass who gets in the was of what otherwise would be a perfecty organized normal life.Katie: have you ever thought that mayb everythig isn’t aways about you?maybe i’m tired, maybe i’m dealing with 5000 things all day long, maybe evry little need you need to be met doesn’t always have to be met at the exact moment you need to be met at.God ben we have actual kids here. Ben: i am not a 3rd child, i’m not talkingabout having everyone of myneeds meti’m talking about a connection a look something says we’re on the same side here. Katie:why don’t you talk to your girlfriend, i’m sureshe can help us get back on the same side.
But the problem in a marriage, is that if one person is always Harold, drawing the world the way they want it to be, then the other person has no choice but to draw the it the way it is. Which is probably why they never wrote a book about Harold’s wife.
Everything thats important in the world is in this bed right now…
Foul, if he had just gotten up with the baby. Then you would have sounded the trumpets, opened the gates, and welcomed the troops home for christmas.
God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find.
High Low???
I am not a third child! I am not talking about having every one of my needs met! I’m talking about a connection…a look…something that says that we’re on the same side here!
I am saying Cho Funs because we are an us. There is a history here and historys dont happen over night… In ancient troy there are cities built on other cities but i dont wanna build another city, i like this city… Thats a dance you perfect over time and its hard. Its alot harder then I thought it would be. But there is more good then bad and you dont just give up.. Lets face it anybody is gonna have traits that get on your nerves so why cant it be your annoying traits, and i am no day at the beach.. God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find… And ultimatley isn’t that what it comes down too? What a persons made of? I guess what i am trying to say is that I am saying Cho Funs b/c I love u!
I did my paper on Harold and the Purple Crayon…It’s small book, about a little boy who draws the world the way he wants it to be with his magic crayon. And I, I, Just love that book because it was about everything that I wasn’t.
I think the loudest silences are the ones filled with everything that’s been said. Said wrong, said 300 times. Until fighting becomes the condition rather than the exception. And your only option is a silent retreat to mutual corners.
It’s the basic difference between the penis and the vagina. A penis is a thruster, a battering ram if you will, even if it’s mad, it a can aram. Sometimes it even helps, it’s the mad ramperstyndrome. However the vagina, ahhhh the vigina, the vagina has to be relaxed, in order to open and receive. It can’t be that gracious hostess in a state of anger! That goes with blow jobs and kissing as well. Every female point of entry needs to know, that the penis is coming ‘in peace’ *high pitched voice* Do you have any sweet and low?
Let hard times bring you together, no one said it would be easy!
My ass was on tv today
Oh oh that’s right you are perfect and I Haven’t done anything right in the last ten years
Shove it up the tops of your legs
Take that f*cking bread and shove it up the tops of your legs!
take that f—ing tape and shove it up the tops of your legs!
That girl with the pith helmet is still in here ::bee boo Bee Boo:: and I know I said at times you beat her out of me
There are some pains you just never get over.
Page Topic: Movie Quotes from ‘Story of Us, The’: Quotes from the movie ‘Story of Us, The’